|
How do I get the ex to stop the games???
Ok so last year my ex broke up with me. While we were together he lied,cheated, the whole 9. Every since we broke up which was a year ago he tells me he is so sorry for what he did, that he loves me, he misses me, and all kinds of other stuff. I know he has had a few girlfriends since then, and currently has one that on his myspace page he calls her his wife. So why won't he stop the games?? And what can I do to get him to stop??
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Ok, I know that you asked tihs question a while ago, but when I read it, it instantly triggered something in me. I HAVE BEEN THERE! Just recently even. I loved a guy for nearly 7 years and dated him off and on. The longest we went without breaking up is like 4 years of the 7, but still. I loved him all the same. He would do this ALL THE TIME. He would have a girlfriend and still be telling me that he loves me and all of that crap. So, I can DEF. relate.
Anywho, the answer here is for you to make a choice. Thats what I had to do anyhow. You either go back to him and continue to love him or... you let him go. Love is sometimes a choice and sometimes a feeling and sometimes it is better to just make the decision to let someone go and stop loving them. Its hard, but it works. I had finally had enough. Ya know? Basically, what I did was tell him to either get engaged to me, or leave me alone and he chose to finally stop leading me on. Maybe you could do something similar? Perhaps?
The key here is to make him realize that you are serious about not letting yourself get hurt again. Tell him that you want either a real commitment or nothing at all. The choice is yours. Just be careful and dont jump in it with both feet. Old habits die hard and... well... cheating becomes a habit and a part of someone'e nature after a while. So, be careful. Make sure he isnt just wanting you back because he knows you will always be there. My ex admitted that to me finally, to be honest, that he did it becuase he knew I would be there and now he knows that I wont. Either way, hun, this is a hard situation and I would love to get into more details with you about this. Just be careful and think this through. Dont set yourself up to get hurt over and over, like I did. If you wanna talk, just IM me or write me on here. *Smiles*.
P.S. Its always fun to tell the other girlfriend when the guy is trying to get with you. Lol. You kinda owe it to them. Or at least, I would want to know. So... think about it. *Smiles*. The reactions to that always bring out the truth! Trust me on this one. Haha.
]
hahah i like the beginning of what the girl below me said. arrested for harrasment. haha.
yeah, i think it may be a little bit more simplyer for you though, i think his feelings are just all messed up. hes not really sure, who he likes completely. im kinda in that stage. i like, like 4 different guys. give him space. tell him, that youve seen his myspace and about that girl, and all that, and say like [well if you want to] that you'll give him another chance,but first he has to figure out who he really likes, because you want to be the one and only. and tell him to take his time, to figure out who he really likes.
and see what happens.
]
This guy is starting to sound like someone I used to know. I believe he was eventually arrested for harassment. :/
Anyway, he may just be looking for forgiveness and if you've forgiven him since then you should tell him so as it might be all he wants - even though he does seem far too persistant if all he want's is your forgiveness. If you really do want him to leave you alone (because if it's not about forgiveness then he's probably just looking for a way back into your life somehow) and you don't want that then you would be best to just tell him to stop talking to you and to leave you alone. The only way he will stop is if you actually TELL him to stop. The fact you've keptin touch or not told him to leave you alone for good after all he did while with you is surprising but then I guess I am not as forgiving as others might be.
If what you want is him to just stop and leave you alone then tell him that and make it clear so he will understand that's what you want. Being subtle sometimes doesn't work because some guys just don't get it. So you may have to be direct and to the point.
]
You thank him for his apologies and tell him that you're not interested (or able if it sounds better) in getting back together. Wish him happiness with his 'wife' and girlfriends and then you remove him from your friends, block his messages, delete them, or whatever. You simply don't give him any more of your time. If he's trying to get you back while he has a 'wife' he is showing you that he hasn't changed and can be counted on to behave this way as long as he can get away with it. So don't be a part of it.
Sabine
]
More Questions: |