about

hahahaha was i on crack as a kid or what?

Anywayzzz -- Hey loveys. My name's Martha and I'm here to help you on pretty much anything. Ask and I'll do my very best to answer. I love giving advice and a lot of people say I am a beastly advice giver...so, ask away!

p.s. my screen name is x0mrm0x if you don't want to have your question open to everyone. Also, if you need advice from a guy my friend mark gives good advice...his link is under my favorite columnists.


advice

heyy, i'm taller than my b/f, hes 4'11 and im 5'0.. I hate wrestling with him cuz every time I go near him he gets into the feidle position and goes 'oh crapp' I weigh 90 pounds and im 13, so im not overweight at all.. But how do I stop making my boyfriend scared of me!

you just have to ignore it and continue to mess around. cuz your OBVIOUSLY a thin girl, so thats no problem...and plus, there's only a ONE INCH height difference, which is not a lot...and i bet when he goes 'oh crap' and gets into the feidle position, hes just kidding around...
hope i helped.

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ok there is this boy at skool he really likes me but I dont like him aand he gives me alot of nice things but I dont like him and I dont want to tell him so what should I do and should I give him back his things or keep them???? Please help QUICKLY

just talk to him in private. sit him down or w/e, and just be like: "ok, i really don't want to hurt your feelings or anything, but i don't like you like that. your a sweet guy for giving me all of the gifts, like the _____ and the _____...and i feel bad that your being so nice by giving me all of it and i don't even like you back. i don't know if you might want them back, or what..."
something like that should work. you really don't want to be mean or too harsh because then he would feel embarrassed or stupid.
hope i helped.

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well i like this guy and he lives near me and the other day i went to his house and i h.u wit him but now ever since i did it he has been like avoiding me and i think its just bc he doesnt want his friends to know because i am 13 and he is 16. Also, some of my friends hwo go to his schoool are saying that hes always with this other girl and is always talking to her and near her and that they like eachother. He used to always talk to me online and like now hes being like boring and is like hi and oh and stuff u know?? what do i do

if you really like him, then just talk to him about the situation...because if he just h/u with you, and then left you high and dry...thats not right.
he should actually fill you in on the 'status of your relationship'. you have a right to know what is going on. cuz it seems like hes just leading you on, but you have no idea what his real incentive is.
my advice: ask/talk to him straight up and don't be ambiguous and don't let HIM be ambiguous about anything.
if you don't know what the hell is REALLY going on, then you could end up getting hurt.

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Hey. I know I should be doing my own homework, but I can't figure this out, and maybe you could help me. I have to figure out what this poem means and the literary elements: The way a crow
Shook down on me
The dust of snow
From a hemlock tree
Has given my heart
A change of mood
And saved some part
Of a day I had rued.

I'm really bad at english and poetry, so please help. Thanks.

i think it means:
that something (the crow) did or said something (shook down on me the dust of snow) that made your heart realize or see something (has given my heart a change of mood) that was a 'distant memory' from sometime that you have tried to forget (and saved a part of a day i had rued)
hope that makes sense...i just write poetry, but i never really analyzed a poem like that before.
hope i helped :/

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My friend is mad at me for a dumb reason and she says she does not want to be my friend but I know shes lying, because she has done this before. What can I do to so her I want to be her friend?

just tell her to tell you staright up why she doesn't wanna be your friend anymore. be like 'ok just tell me now or don't talk to me at all' or something like that. or you could be like, 'alright you're being pretty gay...like, stopping being friends with me for no reason at all...' you shouldn't be all nice about it since shes being a bitch by just ditching you.
hope i helped.

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well the kid i like says he dosnt think i like him because i dont show it too well but thats just the way i am when i like someone i act kind of rude but i laugh about it. How could i act more like i liked him??

flirt more and just ... kinda be more affectionate towards him. don't be all shy and shady around him.
hope i helped.

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what da hell izza wang
sry i just need to kno
and ur advice collumn is hottizzle

a wang...its just a slang term for a penis/dick/etc.
and thanks, i take pride in my advice column! tehe.

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I used to be in gymnastics but I quit and I lost all my flexibility, now my dance teacher is expecting me to do the splits and I can't!
I can't even touch my toes without bending my knees anymore!
How can I get my flexibility back apart from practicing loads, haha?

that happened to me when i quit gymnastics for about a year and a half. but you just have to workreal hard and stretch for like 10 minutes everyday...like 2x a day. just do some stuff that will stretch out your whole body, not just one part. because otherwise you will be sore a lot.
hope i helped

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so I've never been kissed but pretty soon its gonna happen and well, will he know? I dont wanan tell him just because its kinda embarassing. But can he tell? !! thanks.

he might be able to tell if you're nervous or seem really out of it. but if you just go with the flow and let it happen natuarally, he won't think that you never kissed anyone before.
everyone kisses differently, since there is no 'right' way to kiss. so, don't worry.
hope i helped.

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so if i'm fooling around with a girl in my hot tub and we're NOT having sex, but like she gets me off with her hand or orally, can she get pregnant from the sperm floating around in the water? the jets are pretty powerful and could possibly float it into her. how likely is it and *sigh* do i HAVE to wear a condom? thanks..

there might be a slight chance that the sperm would float around...but i doubt they would survive swimming around in hot water with jets and everything and then somehow get up inside her and swim to the egg...haha, so i bet theres like a one is a trillion chance of that happening.
if your getting a hand job...no condom...but as for the whole oral deal...some people say that you can still get some STDs, but it doesn't happen that often...
hope i helped.

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Thank you so much coz i am 6 inches.

Another question, how can i dely the time of cumming? coz i always cum in 5 minutes

haha you're welcome! anytime
but um, about the cumming, i don't think that there is a way to delay the amount of time it takes to cum. i guess it just happens faster for you than others...

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hey okay so theres this kid adam and hes 2 years older than me and we went out for about 1 and a half months and then he dumped me cause he said i cared too much about my looks,i talked about myself too much, i was dumb, and i was immature so yeah but it was so sudden and now he is saying he likes me and hes considering going back out w/ me and i'm like majorly still in love with him so yeah but all my friends say i should go back out with him after everything hes said what do you think?
-Confused/Heartbroken

Please IM with the answer..x3Mi Ch A eL A 7

thanks love yah!

duh! get back w/ him.
its obvious.
hope i helped.

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ok so im 13 and ive been going out wit this guy for like 2 days...and when i tell people they go...omg eww i cant believe ur going out with him...or people will walk up to me and be like ewww i cant believe u even like that kid...its not everyone but most people and its really annoying and i really really like him...wat should i do to make them stop?

i know exactly how you feel. i've been there...lol
all i would say is just ignore them or tell them to shut the f*** up...cuz at least you have a bf! i bet they don't. haha just bust on them (you have the full on right to since they're busting on you).
hope i helped.

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hi okay there is this guy i like and we dont talk to each other but we were like best friends when we were 2-4ish and somehow i got his sn and i really want to talk to him but like how should i start off...should i say i've had ur sn on buddy list but i didnt know how it was so i was figurin out or is dat to corny or will it end da conversation short? HELP!asap

just be hyper and friendly.
be like..."_________?! (his name)" and be like "is this you, cuz i've had this sn and i thought it was yours so i was just checkin...lol, i havent talked to you in like a billion years"
you know, stuff like that.
hope i helped.

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What is herpes?
I've heard of it but I never really knew what it was;
and how do you get it?

its a kind of STD (sexually tranmitted disease)
you get ir from having sex or sometimes even oral sex (like genital herpes for example)...
hope i helped.

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I am 20 now and wuts the penis size of this age?

the average size is about 6 and a half.
but remember...size doesn't really have anything to do with sexual performance. people think it does, but thats not true. its just that people think that the bigger you are, the more manly you are. (weirdos) but um, girls can only feel up to 5 inches of someone's penis, so the extra inches after 5...doesn't matter cuz we can't feel it.
sounds weird, but its true.
hope i helped.
and remember-->SIZE IS UNCONTROLLABLE.

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well heres the thing i was taking a shower after gym today.. with all guys naked and i got a really big boner idk why idk if it was all the naked guys and penis's but like i dont kno if im gay i really like girls and boobs and stuff and i get horny over girls, but this was so weirdd .help!!! o yeah and does penis size matter mines kinda small :-(
help!!!!

like i told the other guy...penis size depends on age and also, its uncontrollable.
but you know tat guys can get boners randomly and for no specific reason. it was probably cuz you just got outta the shower and you were like, cold or something. i can't tell you if your gay, i don't own people's sexual prefrences, so, you'll know if you are or not.
write back if needed.
hope i helped.

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I got a small penis. Wut should i do?

well it depends on how old you are.
your penis doesn't stop growing until you're about 17.
and you can't help how big/small you are, its uncontrollable.
write back and tell me how old you are. (i know the average sizes for guys at the certain age...trust me...)

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how do you put holes in your jeans but not to where they look like you just randomly cut them?

you could like, get siccors or a razor blade and make a small rip and then just rip it yourself to make it look more...natural? i don't think thats the word but you know what i mean.
hope it helps.

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I have stretch marks from my legs to my stomach. Im only 13 im pretty skinny and i dont know why i am getting all of these stretch marks can anyone tell me?

well, girls can get stretch marks randomly during puberty because they are growing...if you have a sudden growth spurt, you skin isn't like stretched out or large enough so it stretches...i don't know exactly how to explain it...
but it could also be if you were a little bigger and lost weight, and now you're noticing them.
eventually they will fade...or you can go to like a drug store and they have creams that make them fade quicker.

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