askkhadiya
advice column ask question view feedback favorite columnist advicenators

Q: Okay, I'm kind of confused in the middle. my boyfriend asked his parents to pick me up tomorrow so i can see him, since i don't get to see him that much. and something happened, he said his dad said "no" so my boyfriend started crying. then he texted his mom saying "I never thought i would say it but i hate my life now i never wanted to move I'm probably gonna loose my girlfriend soon cause of this you're the one that promised to take Mary to our house and back in the first place! and it may not seem like a big deal to you guys but it is to me!!! she's the only person that makes me smile if ya'll take that away from me I'll do something very drastic i promise.. you better not mention to this to dad." and he told me that his dad said that him seeing me is enough once a week, and that his mom back stabbed him, by dragging him out of his room into the living room and started yelling at him and saying that if i really did love him then i wouldn't leave him or anything. and that they might come to my house and tell my parents about us and then break us up. (my parents don't allow me to have a boyfriend especially my dad because I'm the daddy's girl). which kind of confuses me, because he says that his parents LOVE me... i mean LOVE me. then all the sudden his dad texts me, saying: "Mary, please try to help Adrian (he's depress) we can't understand why? if his relationship with you is affecting him then we need to take care AS SOON AS POSSIBLE, since we want the BEST for you guys, PLEASE don't forward this message to him, otherwise we will think you don't REALLY love him.... thank you for your understanding, Please respond." so then i was confused.. and his dad called me to tell me to help my boyfriend and stuff like that.. and that they have reasons why they can't take me and stuff like that. and i understood.. but i don't understand why all of this is happening. they say it's because my boyfriend(Adrian) is depressed about it.. and doesn't do anything besides sit in his room. then his mom texts me saying: "Please don't think that we are blaming this on you it's Adrian that don't understand that we can't take him to see you everyday and we had our reasons to move here. he will be able to see you more often i will get his driving permit on Friday so he can learn how to drive but i just need you guys to be more patient"

they told me to help him on school & etc.. but yet it's kind of hard to believe who and stuff.. help me please? how can i help him? and what is the right thing to do?

PLEASE & THANK YOU.
The only thing you can do is talk to him to calm him down. His parents probably hate going behind your parents back, And then gas isnt cheap. They may be in a comprimising position you never know all the details. The best thing for you and adrian to do is to calm down and take it one day at a time. As long as you can hear his voice and know hes ok then ya'll should be fine.

Q: okay, well i'm not pregnant or anything.. i've just been thinking about stuff, that i wonder about.

1. if there was a guy that acted like a girl, and a girl that acted like a guy.. wouldn't they be able to go out with eachother? which would probably consider them as straight?

2. what does a guy mean by leaving it "dripping wet"?

please & thank you. :]
First question__ I dont think that would work out right. People probably would consider them gay, unless proven otherwise.
Second Question-- Dripping wet is what a guy says when--lets see how I can say this without being vulgar--Normally when you engage in intercourse your gentials get really wet. And When you climax it gets wetter. Thats basicallly what it means.

Q: when my boyfriend feels me up sometimes i get cold and you know what happens. well do guys like that? or do they find it unattractive.thanks
They like that. They no that they are gettin a spark out of you.

Q: my boyfriend of 2 years and i recently just started having sex. we bought condoms, and he still pulls out before he comes to be extra careful. however, i'm still paranoid. i want to go on birth control but i DO NOT want to tell my mom. she would freak out and probably forbid me from seeing my boyfriend. (my whole family has waited until marriage) so i was wondering how i could get birth control without actually going through my mom who would in turn go through my doctor. also, are there any other options besides the actual pill? i've been told it costs about $35 dollars through planned parenthood .. thanks!
There's all kinds. You have the shot, and IUD, An implanon. And implanon lasts for 3 years. I goes under your skin. in your arm Its about the size of a matchstick. It has no mantinence. You have little or no period, but if you do continue to have a period it could be heavy. An IUD makes you blood heavy too. And it goes inside you. The shot you get every three months, Which may get expensive. If you have a health department, you may be able to get the services free. They also have over the couter stuff like sponges that contain spermicides. You insert them into you and it kills sperm instantly.

Q: Well I'm 15 now and I first got my period when I was 12. So I don't know when the period starts to become regular??? but mine isn't and I don't know if that's normal or if I'm just over reacting...
Oh and here's my hight and weight if needed:
Hight: 5'5"
Weight: 106lbs
Its normal for you to be irregular. things that happen in your life including the way you feel and the activities you do trigger irregularity. Go to the gynocologist if your worried. But all he is going to do is put you on birth control.

Q: My aunt lost two of the men she was engaged to. Then, recently her husband cheated on her with two different people & drove a truck through the wall of her house. So, yeah, she`s had a hard life. She didn`t know who to turn to I guess, so she started drinking & smoking. When you destroy 100,000 dollars worth of things because you`re mad at someone, you know you need help, right? Well, I guess she didn`t pick up on that. She has two kids, the girl is 15 & the boy is 13. My grandparents & parents talked to my earlier & they said that I`m the one that she "adores" more than anyone, more than her own kids. They think I should try talking to her now. The problem is I don`t know what to say to her. I know she (the youngest child) always thought her parents never loved her cause she believes they favored her sister (my mother, the oldest child) & the one person in the family who she thought truely loved her died. All her life, she`s lost the people who have honestly loved her (including both of the men she had been engaged to + her husband leaving her). She won`t listen to anyone else. She`s been drinking for almost twenty years & she`s about 47 now. She`s gone to AA & it still hasn`t helped. She`s gotten a DUI, but finished all of the requirements that she had to do afterwards. She`s very sensitive, yet very stubborn. How am I supposed to tell her to quit drinking without completely ruining our relationship or just flat out making everything worse?
NO matter how you tell her sh is going to deny it and resent you from telling her. So they best thing to do is, get the whole family involved and you just be the leader. Flat out tell her that she drinks too much and you think she needs help. Tell her that you love her and you wouldnt want anything to ever happen to her.

Q: Hey there. I just started using tampons. I'm at the heaviest point, so I know it's okay to use them. I can get it in with no problem. The problem is that when I stand up or sit down, it starts hurting really badly. I know it's in the right place too. What could be the problem? And I don't have septate or anything abnormal. Another question I have is how far in you is your hymen? Thanks for the advice in advance.
read the instructions and make sure you are inserting how they want you to. Thats the only way to make sure its super comfortable/

Q: I have a friend who's dad is a pric. He is a sick person who has done sadistic things to her. the thing is she hides it. She's been hiding it for years. I didn't know about it until recently and i've known for 6 years. Well she's been using drugs and she's been trying to stop so shee was in a lot of pain. Well i keep telling my friend that she needs help that she needs to go to the police or her dad will never stop hurting her but she's afraid to. Then she told me that she got help and i found that she lied about it. she just didn't want me to worry. I'm not mad at her i just dont know how to help her. I tried going to the school but they cant do anything until she wants to do something. i know she wants help she's just scared how can i convince her that she needs to get help?
Why don't you go to the police, or call DHS?? The school cant do anything about it, but DHS, which is the department of human services, will investigate even if she doesn't tell them anything. And its confidential so they wont even say you had anything to do with it.

Q: My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost a month now and when we're together we cannot keep our hands off each other. I'm a virgin. He's not. I'm 18 and he's 19. He respects me and loves me so I know he'd never force me into doing anything I don't want. We've never discussed sex and I want to discuss it with him so we can establish where we stand on the matter. I want to wait a while before we have sex. Even though I'm very physically and sexually attracted to him. I but I need to let him know where I stand. How should I bring it up, what should I say?
You should simply say I want to talk to you about where we stand on the issue of sex. Let him know what you think about it, and your concerns with the matter, and see how he takes it. Don't ever let him tell you anything close to the sentence if you loved me, you have sex with me, or if you liked me you would, because that's just a way to make you feel guilty.

Q: how should i make out? like wat should i do with my toungue? how should i move my tounge? thanx in advance.
Softly. Dont act like your trying to fight with your kissing partner. Thats about all I can give you. There isnt really a certain way.

Q: see my old best friend hates my new best friend what should i do
The old one doesnt hat the new one the old one is jealous of the new one. The best thing to do is to make the old one feel included in everything you do. That person feels like the new bbest friend is taking their spot. They might feel like you treat them different. You should ask the old best friend, why do they "hate" the old best friend.

Q: Anyone know how to get a flat stomach adn can you please tell me what i should be eating to get a flat stomach links would be helpful.
Crunches CRUNCHES crunches. Thats best thing to do.
Try eating fruit and/or veggies at every meal.

Q: Alright, so to sum this all up, homecoming is 2 weeks away. I am going to Chicago this weekend, and no matter what I am buying a dress, the only problem is that techinally, i dont have an offical date. I have my choices tho:

1) One group of my friends are going with some guys from a differnt city as a huge group date. The only thing is I feel like it would be super awkward because I have never met this kid before, or any of them to be clear. Right now I am not sold on this one

2) Another group of friends are bringing their boyfriends, or good friends from out of college, which for the most part I know well. I talked to my friend today and she said I could possibly go with one of the guys friends. I am feeling more towards this group.

I just need your advice on what you think I should do.
You should go with the one your feel more comfortable with and tell your other group of friends, that you just wouldnt feel comfortable with the other guy.

Q: I want to get extensions but I know there are a lot of cheap, fake types out there so are there any brands you reccomend?

Also, I only want the clip-in kind so do I need to buy special types of clips?

Thanks :]
The clip in kind has clips on them. Im pretty sure. I use the glue. I think the clip on kind cost a lot more, and a brand called rainbow or something like that makes good extensions. Any kind will work really. Your just paying for a name.

Q: A while ago I broke up with this guy, but we've gotten really close in the past couple of weeks. He holds me around the waist, and he likes to tease me and chase me around and hes SO flirtatious! I really want him back! But now he has a girlfriend...but they like barely talk...and have been going out for like a week...and I really want to tell him but I don't know what to say! Help?
Just come out and tell him. It wont kill you to tell him the truth. He probably feels the same way. Tell him that it was a crazy mistake and you dont know WHAT you were thinkin'!

Q: my girlfriend want me to finger her but ive never done that before what do i do
Let her guide you. BUT its kinda self explanitory. Put your fingers down there and play.

Q: This may sound horrible, but I am getting so bored of my friends now.
They are all getting into all this new stuff, like all the scene kid stuff. You know? And they are getting so concieted(sp??) and becoming myspace whores. It seems like all they want to do is either sit around, or sit around on myspace. And they constantly make fun of what I like etc.
Not only are they getting quite annoying, they are getting quite boring also!
Like I said, the only thing they want to do is go on myspace. They used to be so fun, so active. I don't know what to do now, because I don't just want to ditch them.
But whenever I try talking to them, they just blow me off.
leave them slowly. Just you know dont hang out with them as much, and eventually just stop. They will get the picture.

Q: what exactly is a blow job, very stupid question, but... yah
Oral sex on a guy.

Q: this guy and i have been having troubles and like.. things will be really good but then there will be times that he hurts me (emotionally) and like he doesnt care. but then he says sorry and stuff. and last night was like the last straw and he got me so upset but he said that he swears hes gonna change and that he doesnt want to lose me cause he really loves me like bad or something like that. and like i dont want to lose him either but i cant keep handling this. but i know that if hes willing to he can change what he does that gets me so upset cause its just stuff he does not stuff he says. and like he says hes gonna try and make things perfect between us but i dont know if i should believe him this time cause hes said in the past that he would change certian things and he did but then he gave up and just decided to do them again. and i dont it to be a cycle i just want him to really work to not do the stuff that gets me upset and i want things to be perfect. and he knows how i hurt i am so i just dont know what to do. and also i got so upset that i cut a C into my thigh and wrist because his name is Chris.
Your a damn fool!! You dont injure yourself over no boy. Sorry I had to say it like that but thats how it came out. Why cut yourself over him? If you gotta do all that, you and him dont need to be together. Give him one more time to mess up sonce he says he is going to change, and if he messes up again, time to let him go.

Q: Hello, I'm dying my hair soon.
And I was wondering if you could give me some advice on what color? I want to dye it a fun color (blue, purple, pink, red, etc. etc.). But I don't know what color would look good with me. And if you could also be specific on the brand of hair dye, and the exact name of color. Thanks.
Oh, and here is a picture of me, so you can decide what color would look good:
http://i152.photobucket.com/albums/s165/xx_tickle_me_emo_xx/Picture023-1.jpg

Thank you!
Like a burgundy red. Nothing too dark And nothin too light. Cant help you with the btand tho.

bio
khadiya
Its A brand new year!! And I havent really been giving advice lately so now IM BACK!! If you have something to ask dont hesitate to ask. DONT BE SHY!! I've been there! Or I know someone who has!


I am a black albino female whose been through alot!!! I have a lot advice to give. Im a very knowledgeable person, and i look at things from many different views. Im very blunt, so if you dont want to hear it straight dont ask me!! any thing else you wanna know get at me!



LET ME REINTRODUCE MYSELF REAL FAST, REAL QUICK!
iM A BLUNT PERSON, IF YOU ASK A GROWN UP QUESTION, IMA GIVE A GROWN UP ANSWER. RECENTLY A GIRL ASKED HOW TO GIVE A BLOWJOB AND I WAS VERY BLUNT AND UPFRONT WITH HER. I GOT SHUNNED FOR MY ACTIONS SO, BASICALLY. IM GOING TO TRY TO AVOID ANSWERING QUESTIONS LIKE THIS. BECAUSE ALL THOUGH THESE KIDS ASKING THESE QUESTIONS ARE YOUNG, THEY OBVIOUSLY BEEN DOING SOMETHING THEY AINT GOT NO BUSINESS DOING BECAUSE THE WOULDNT BE ASKING THOSE TYPES OF QUESTIONS.

Info
Website:
E-mail:
Gender:
Female

Location:
Mississippi!!

Occupation:
Doin what i do!

Age:
20

AIM:
Yahoo:
Member Since:
December 30, 2006

Answers:
705

Last Update:
June 16, 2009

Visitors:
28943

Main Categories:







layout by Adam Particka

<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>

eXTReMe Tracker