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sex talk with my bf
My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost a month now and when we're together we cannot keep our hands off each other. I'm a virgin. He's not. I'm 18 and he's 19. He respects me and loves me so I know he'd never force me into doing anything I don't want. We've never discussed sex and I want to discuss it with him so we can establish where we stand on the matter. I want to wait a while before we have sex. Even though I'm very physically and sexually attracted to him. I but I need to let him know where I stand. How should I bring it up, what should I say?
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Hmm.
Usually, the hardest part is broaching the subject.
A good way is to be somewhat blunt about it. Perhaps write him a note and hand it to him. Ask him to read it. When he's done, talk to him about it.
From there, its good to set your boundaries. Tell him that you like him, and you can see yourself getting that close to him, but you want to take things slowly.
Explain that you want to feel safe with him. You want to know that above all he will take care of you no matter what that means. Even if it means stopping two inches away from sex because you cant.
At the same time, you have to establish what boundaries he can push. You know, what things he can do or try to do that you want to do but arent sure you're comfy with yet. You know, like he has permission to have hands under the shirt but not hte pants unless you give him the go ahead, and he has to be prepared to stop if you ask him to do something and realize you arent comfy with yet.
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as long as you think he would take it ok, you just need to tell him, dont try to find a way to casually bring it up or anything. when your alone, just tell him you need to tell him where you stand considering sex. if he loves you like you think he does, he wont care how you tell him. but dont beat around the bush. seriously, just come right out and tell him exactly how you feel. thats the best way i can think of because you just need to let him know. it seems you are really close and since you said he respects you, he will probably be glad, maybe even excited, to discuss it haha, and to know exactly how you feel about it. good luck :]
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You should simply say I want to talk to you about where we stand on the issue of sex. Let him know what you think about it, and your concerns with the matter, and see how he takes it. Don't ever let him tell you anything close to the sentence if you loved me, you have sex with me, or if you liked me you would, because that's just a way to make you feel guilty.
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