Depressed_Poet's advice column

16/f

alright me and my friend, dustin, have been friends forever. and like yeah we fool around.. we're kinda each others rebound.

well long story short.. tonight he came over.. and i figured he wanted something.. boy was i right.

at first he said he didnt want anything... and then night went on, we watched a movie and fooled around.. well.. then things started getting hot and heavy and he asked if i had condoms.. i said yea. well yeah i may have wanted it for a long time but it felt wrong because i was cheated on and didnt wanna get screwed over.

also i think that sex shouldnt be the only thing involved in a relationship.. it shouldnt matter. to me its the most distant thing in a relationship.. i guess what im trying to say is that i have morals.

but like did i make the right decision or was that his way of telling me he wants to be with me or something?
i need serious answers.. please and thanks =]

You did the right thing! So calm down and save sex fo someone special, ok? You'll be glad you did. I promise. Here are a couple reasons why:
~ It should be with someone you love and trust that doesn't ONLY want sex
~ It hurts your first time so you should be passionately in love, it will help distract you
~ Somebody who screws you over and gets you pregnant before you're married can ruin your life

So be glad you made the right choice! You're a smart girl and did the right thing. And I don't think that's his way of saying he wants to be with you, unfortunately. But good luck finding someone better for that kind of relationship!

[view]

is your penis size in your genes like girls are with there boobs. like if your family has a history of "big" penis's, will it be hereditary?

Yes, but if there is ANYONE before you that has a smaller one there's a slight chance someone else down the line could do. Anything can happen with genetics, but it's likely the big-size will carry throughout the generations.

[view]

what is herpes?
everyone knows
but ive never known, alls i know is its a bump.
xox

Herpes (pronounces herpies) is a sexually transmitted disease that causes warts (could be on genitals), bumps, and sores. You can get it through oral sex too, no exceptions!
You can get them in the back of your throat too which causes terrible sore throats throughout the rest of your life because there's no cure.
The warts, bumps, and sores stay for the rest of your life!

[view]

ok so recently my bf has been ignoring me when he's wit his friend..(not answering my calls texts)..wen he's wit me he's great and very attentive..we've been togethere for a year and a hafl and..this has happened in the past..but we fixed it..and now it is starting to happen again.. He gets really mad at me for really stupid reasons( like if im running a few mins late to his house) but whenver i get mad he for some reason gets mad at me for being mad becuase he doesn't think my reasons are legitimate. For examplle tonite he basically ditched me to hang out with friends. I wanna put my foot down but i'm afraid he won't take my seriously, or will just get mad at me..what do i do?

Rebel. Rebel against being respectful towards your boyfriend. The hell with his opinions or concerns about you! Don't care what he thinks, it's all you. Don't even bother to explain why you're mad because the way you describe it he can't manage to get it through his thick head that you're upset! Just say "That's it. I've had it, we're done!" Yes it will save him future girlfriends if you don't explain why but that's his problem if he doesn't get another girl as soon as he snaps his fingers. I mean... I doubt he has a waiting line of girls with the way he's acting. So dump him. I know I sound kind of rude considering I don't even know him, and I'm sorry for that but I'm trying to help YOU-not HIM. Obviously... lol
So anyway... I honestly think he sounds like a jerk and you deserve so much better. No girl deserves somebody like that!
~ Hope I helped, Lauren

[view]

last summer i met this guy at camp, and he was really cool and really cute. He told me he liked me, and i started to like him. well, we live in different states, so we only talked on myspace. I stopped liking him pretty much the week after camp. well, eventually we stopped talking and i guess he deleted me from his friends. we haven't talked in over 3 months now. Well, last night, i got a friend request and a message from him. He is COMPLETELY different and i'm not sure if i want to go back to being friends. He has a girlfriend, so he's def. not trying to get me to like him again.. but idk what to do. Should i talk to him?

I think it's best to have a reality check at this point, hun.
~ He has a girlfriend
~ He lives out of state
~ He deleted you
~ He added you again
~ You lost touch with him
What does that tell us?
It tells us that there's really not much of a chance you guys could pick things up where you left off to like each other on the same levels again. And even if he does ask you out online... if he dumps his other girlfriend... then you should say no because you'll never see each other! You'll find other guys that you like at new schools, neighborhoods etc. and you won't wanna stay with him. Things change, personalities change, and so do looks. Who knows? If his personality changed since he added you and likes you again he could be an unpredictable jerk now. You really need to be in person to get along well.
Sorry if I came off rude, but you need to hear it.
~ Lauren

[view]

is there any way i can play the original sims with the sims 2 already installed on my computer?

Yes. But do the 1024 x 768 if you have the option, don't do the 800 x 600! 1024 x 768 takes up less space.

[view]

how can i make my hair grow fast
. i got a badd hair cut. and i want it long.
thanks

Special shampoos that you can buy at hair salons and conditioners. They're pretty expensive though I would imagine, like $20.00-$30.00? I don't actually know, I'm just guessing about the prices.
Other than that you can't really make it grow very fast. Salmon makes it more shiny to distract that from people though? lol
Other than that you'd probably have to try hair extensions that match your hair color or be a total opposite from your hair color if you want! lol.
Hope I helped

[view]

is there any way i can stop cracking my nuckles. its such a bad habbit. like. argh. i try and then i just give up. please any advice.
my knubles and fingers are already starting to get gross and big. help.

They will thin out as you grow up. Mine already are and I'm only 13, lol. You can get artheritous when you're older though and that's painful. That's normally what old people are mistaking "Feeling it in their bones" for but they don't know it. Instead of cracking your knuckles, put sticky stuff on them so you'll get all sticky whenever you try it, lol. For something sticky try... the caramel on those hard candy caramel apples. Or try some syrup! Yeah... DEFINATELY syrup, that's the best. And most convenient to find. I know it's gross but you have to do it if you ever wanna stop! As a new habit, start drawing, typing, or writing etc. or something.
I hope that helped!

[view]

im ugly. i wanna be pretty. how.
im talking about the inside.

Be forgiving by thinking about what's going on in other peoples' situations and why they may be acting this way. Spend a day in someone's shoes.

Don't be jealous because the big green monster (lol) will grow around your heart.

Don't compare yourself with others because if you do, you'll become vain. Be glad you're YOU!

Donate money and/or clothes you don't wear to the poor and pray to God for him to forgive you about everything you've done that you wish you could change etc.

Do some favors for others and apologize for times you were upset with them, but you're not always at fault. So maybe rake the leaves for your parents, or bake some cookies for the neighbors at a block party... maybe help a classmate or a friend study for a test or help them understand a lesson they don't get and respect your teachers a little bit more.

Instead of going on a shopping spree with your well earned money, donate it. It feels SO MUCH BETTER than shopping! It really does! I feel great after I do something nice... so try it.

~ Hope I helped, Lauren

[view]

this may be weird
but i really need to know.
and im to like embaressed to tell my mom, or a doctor or friend ect.
if anybody knows..
well on, down there, outside of the "lip" or w/e you want to call it.
I have a bump under the skin, with another like smaller red little like gooey bump ontop of it.
it sounds weird, but i really dont know what it is
Does anyone have idea

Im still a virgin, i shaved down there a few times but not right where it is.
13/f

Hmm... are you sure you didn't shave right there? Because it sounds like you got an ingrown hair which causes boils. It could be a boil... and they can grow. They can form anywhere you shave but it's not likely. You can pop it with a needle or get some cream at a drug store.
Maybe you can try shaving with a special shaving cream like Skintimate Strawberry Splash-I LOVE IT! It smells good after, and it's silky & smooth skin for anywhere you shave!
Maybe it's a razor bump? Skintimate doesn't leave razor bumps as long as you shave every 3 days. Maybe change your razor blade at least or switch your razor.
Now you mentioned being a virgin but have you ever performed oral sex? That can cause genital warts if somebody ever "ate you out" or you ever gave a blowjob etc. Hopefully that's not the case because herpes never goes away. But it's only if that person you were performing oral sex for had a disease
I hope that helped!
~ Lauren

[view]

ive gained alot of weight in the last few weeks.
I really dont like it,
whats some good ways to exersise, my mom has a tredmile i could run, but for how long??
and whats some healthy things to eat, and when how every so often?

If you're between the ages of 11-18 you should run the treadmill for 30 minutes a day and have a teaspoon or a tablespoon of coconut oil each morning. I don't know how the oil works but within 3 days you are able to see SAFE results!
Replace your eating schedule of chocolate & candies etc. with grapefruits & veggies. Grapefruits will raise metabolism... like... 10 calories per grapefruit is burned I believe?
Remember to diet safely and it will take a little while to get where you want! A FULL pound of calories is 3500 just incase you were wondering.
If you are between the ages of 11-18 (again! lol) then have 1700 calories a day but make sure that it consists of healthy foods. Fruits & veggies etc.
AVOID diet sodas, they cause brain tumors & they will make you hungrier-BELIEVE ME! Even if you're eating while you're drinking it. Waiste watchers is good though. I feel hungry immediately after eating it.
Replace sodas and juices with Juicy Juice because it's got no corn syrup, not NEARLY as much fat, and almost no sugar.
Sugars add up to fat. And you can't burn sugars off as quickly as you think! I went to this science museum once and I did this cool ride that you are set up in front of a treadmill thing and a tv in front of you. It's like a map of a sugar cube and how long it takes to burn it. So as you're working on the treadmill thing it has a picture of a sugar cube on the screen and it shrinks while you're working, it's cool but it took me TEN MINUTES! And I run really fast. I was so tired after and I'm average weight.
Make a little note on the fridge that says "Do you want to eat this food, or wear it?" In other words, "Are you hungry? Or are you just bored?"
I hope I helped!
~ Depressed_Poet

[view]

i shave down there and recently its been itchy it has been before but not like this itchy.. i know its not like crabs or antyhign or a rash.. well maybe a rash but idk. you think its from shaving? i think it might be but you never know..

is it ussaully itchy if you shave....
thanks.

The first couple times you shave "down there" it will be very itchy and bother you frequently. But a few times later it should be completely fine if you use a special shaving cream. What I do is, I get a shaving cream called 'Skintimate' Strawberry Splash and it leaves your legs, armpits, and everywhere else you shave such as 'down there'(where it works the best) flawless. I LOVE IT! Maybe switch your razor too or at least change the blade. You don't get razor bumps with Skintimate. So try that! It doesn't leave it itchy either, I promise you! If that doesn't help, maybe start waxing... I've never had waxing done because other people have to do it, it costs more money depending on where you go, and it's so much more painful. Don't shave every day and leave the stubs alone... shave "down there" like every other 3 days and you should be all set.
Hope I helped!
~ Lauren

[view]

The guy Im with has nerve damage in his penis and has a hard time having an erection. We tried to have sex but he couldnt get it up. He still managed to get it inside me, but does it count as sex?

Whether your cherry is popped or not, it's still sex because he placed his penis inside of your vagina. It doesn't matter how far it was in... but you're not a virgin. Sorry if that's not what you wanted to hear (not sarcastically)
Hope I helped

[view]

i was thinking about getting Akon or Eminem or another famous hiphop or rap star. I was wondering, around how much money would it be to get him for maybe 2 hours? I don't need exact prices, but a good guess.

what about Hannah Montana?

Well it would cost A LOT for them just to show up! And... Hannah Montana would probably cost the least.
Hannah Montana would probably be about 100,000 to $300,000.
Eminem might be around $200,000-$500,000
Akon would most likely be around the same as Eminem maybe a little less
But you may want to re-think the two hour thing because it really depends on the area you're living in, they may be over-booked and it would cost more if they have to travel really far.
Hope I helped

[view]

how do i act hot.
feel hot.
and look hot.
really.
i ussaully feel so comftorable when its hot outside ha. so any suggestionss. on thosee thingss. thanksssssssss

How to act hot:
Have your own opinion
Be yourself
Don't try to show off
Don't try to impress anyone
How to feel hot:
Don't compare yourself with other people
Be glad you're living YOUR OWN life and not other peoples' lives
Don't be nosy
Don't be annoying
Look in the mirror more frequently
How to look hot:
A touch of eye-shadow , a dark skin color depending on your complection and just a bit of pencil eye-liner
A little mascara-but be sure to wash all of it off because it will make your eye-lashes fall out if you don't. But don't freak out if you don't because they'll grow back!
Just a bit of foundation, not toner it will cause breakouts
A really shiny nutrogena lip gloss, I'd be a mess without that!
And maybe get some Crest whitening strips for your teeth
But be sure to only put on a little because the secret to wearing make-up is to make it look like you aren't wearing any at all!
Maybe try some fake nails, I love mine!
If you want new styles for hair and clothes go on a shopping spree!
Hope that was what you're looking for!

[view]

somtimes ill ask a question on here. and like they dont show up on my comp. its weird.. but yeah.
help.

It's because they have to go through a 'question approval' thing. It can take up to three hours and if there are things like:
& so I get sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ahhhhnoyed 'cuz it just lyk makes me soooooooooo m@d!!!!!!!!
or any spelling mistakes it won't go through. Or if it's in the wrong section it will be deleted by the moderators.
Hope I helped
~ Lauren

[view]

my hairs messed up. any ways to fix it. i want it long and wavy but right now its like all weird wavy.. and like almost to my shoulders. help. i wanna be pretty but recently i havent been feeling like i am so yeah.
=]

oh an di must have tried like everything in the book to get my hair wavy. argh.
its wavy to begin with but like really weird and not how i want it.

Don't straighten your hair! It fries your hair so when you're older (like 17... 18?) it will fall out. I know a girl and it happened to her sister, protective conditioner etc. won't work either!
What I used to do (because my hair is REALLYYYYYY CURLY) is for a few hours I would leave my hair in a low & tight ponytail and after (like an hour?) I'd take it out and it was perfectly straight. For the time being if you don't like wearing your hair up try a hat or a hoodie over it. I promise those techniques are great, they'll work!
~ Hope I helped, Lauren

[view]

I'm 14/F. The last time I got my period was the first two weeks of January. Now it's early March. I haven't gotten my period latley. My breasts are sore, that is all. I don't have abdomnial pains either. Also, I haven't been been doing sexual intercourse. I'm really nervous, what is wrong?
I got my period when I turned 12...now it's about 2 1/2 years since I've got it. Can my period still me irregular?
-Scared

Awh don't, worry you're fine.
During teenage years girls go through the irregularity of periods so don't worry, you'll get it again.

[view]

Is there any way to overcome it?...Like okay.

15/f

I like this guy. He told me he didn't want to be with me. Now he has a girlfriend. Since he's my best friend, he urges me to make friends with the girl (let's call her Jill). Jill is a nice girl. She's sweet, kind and caring. But I hate her. And you can guess why. It's because SHE'S his girlfriend and not me. When we're talking together....HE always flirts with Jill...telling her he loves her...and telling her that she's his fiance. It pisses the HELL out of me. I effing HATE her!!!!! How do I overcome this jealousy?

whenever we talk...I feel like killing her. and him. lol

:(

Well... in some cases you can't always overcome jealousy as it being a natural emotion that you're supposed to have... but these techniques should help you:
Try to sort of avoid her and him a lot more, and think about how much greater your next boyfriend will be than he is. I mean... how great can they be together if all they do to have fun is try to make people jealous? Sounds like a waste of time and they both need lives if that's all they're trying to do. You wouldn't wanna be part of that, would you?
Spend a day with just yourself. Go shopping, see a movie, go to dinner or whatever YOU want! Because having a boyfriend could be high maitenence, like he sounds, and you might not get to do that all the time.
When she's talking to you and bragging or doing something that really bothers you just, look off to the side (don't yawn etc.) and pretend to be fascinated with what you're looking at instead of paying attention to her. It sounds stupid and childish but it works. Then when she looks over and discovers there's nothing she'll look back at you and realize you're NOT interested in whatever she's doing!
Stop thinking about it! It's not all them, you're sort of exagerating the situation in your mind if you think about it all the time. So stop comparing yourself to her and just enjoy what you have, and stop being so pre-occupied. I know it's hard, but you'll be fine, and you will get over him. I assure you!
~ Hope I helped, Lauren

[view]

<<< Previous Advice Column

Next Advice Column >>>