I'm not here to tell you what to think or do, but to give you as much honest, accurate information as possible. If I don't know an answer to a specific question, I'll research it before replying. I won't sugarcoat things; my job is to tell it like it is.
I've got a particular interest in sexual health and sexuality. I know a lot about fertility and pregnancy - and firsthand now, as I've just had twins. I'm also an accredited sexual health worker.
Gender: Female
Occupation: Counsellor, writer, mother of twins.
Age: 31
Member Since: August 9, 2004
Answers: 1493
Last Update: November 5, 2009
Visitors: 172923
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ok well..is doggie style getting it up ur ass (link)
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No. Doggie style is a position in sex which means that your partner has his front to your back rather than being front-to-front.
This can be done on your hands and knees, but it's still your vagina.
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iv had sex but it hurt at the begging then it felt good...is it posible for me to rip a little?if so what do i do? (link)
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It's normal for you to experience pain during your first few times of sex. It could involve light spotting or bleeding and soreness.
To avoid this pain in future, it helps to make sure you are completely aroused before having sex. If you're not the type of person to get very wet, buy some water-based (because it won't affect the condom) lubricant and keep it on hand.
There's nothing you can do once you've already had sex, but if the bleeding or pain lasts for more than a few days (or is severe), you'll need to go to a doctor to make sure your vagina is okay.
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I am only 13 and i just started having periods,and i hade my second one right on schedual. Is that normal?
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Yep. There's no 'normal' when it comes to first getting your period - some people will get it every 28 days, some will get it every few months, some might not know WHEN to expect it.
It might be a smart idea to start keeping track of when your period comes, so you can start to learn about your cycle. Even though your second period was right on time, your third or fourth period could still be irregular.
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is it strange for a gurl to masterbate..i heard girls talkin one time and they sayd that it means your really desperate adn uncommon...is that true or is it normal? (link)
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Masturbation has always been accepted as something boys do - just like boys are allowed to have sex, but girls who have sex are called sluts. It's an unfair bias in our society, and often causes untrue myths.
Most girls do masturbate, but they've been taught from a young age that it's not okay to do. They don't want to tell other people in case they get made fun of; girls also see it as a more private issue than boys do. A boy might tell about his masturbation to brag; a girl keeps quiet because it's just something she likes to do privately.
Masturbation is a normal, healthy way to explore your sexuality. There's no need to be ashamed or worried, so don't let other people make you feel uncomfortable.
Remember, masturbation can't break your heart, get you pregnant, or give you a disease - which is a pretty good recommendation for it.
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Well I heard that usually after you have sex your voice changes but then the guys voice changes also and thats when their getting older I mean when is my voice gonna change if I dont have sex because I dont want to like around what age and well it be ina good way and well guys like u more...Im just Curious! (link)
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During puberty, boys' voices do deepen - you've probably heard boys in your class have cracking voices. The same process does not happen - your voice probably won't crack or get very much deeper than it already is.
Sex will not affect your voice in any way; people cannot tell by your voice, or by any male or female's voice, whether an individual has had sex.
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sometimes i have sperm leakying out of my thing how do i stop that? (link)
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When does it leak - when you have an erection, while you're sleeping, etc? Any of those things are normal.
When you have an erection, some semen will come out the tip of your penis - that can be called pre-cum. There is not way to stop it, so be sure to wear a condom if you are with another person.
Pre-cum has the same ability as regular semen to get somebody pregnant or transfer a disease.
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um i was wondering...what does an orgasm feel like? like right before it happens and when it does. im not sure if i almost had one bc if felt like i had 2 pee..it was really weird thx for the advice..xoxo..i rate good! (link)
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The best way to know what your orgasms feel like are to spend some time alone and masturbate. Male or female, everybody experiences a slightly different feeling when they orgasm.
Once you've had an orgasm, you know it.
It could last anywhere from a few seconds to a few minutes; you could have one big orgasm or several smaller ones in a row.
Typically, you'll feel 'release' - your sexual pleasure will have peaked, and you'll feel satisfied.
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I am in a long distance relationship with this guy I really love. The problem is.. i feel like he's going to cheat on me. When he lived here, he cheated on me once cause he got drunk and stoned. I just afraid he will do it again and I will find out about it. I really want to trust him but its hard.
Is there any way to convince myself that he's not cheating on me.. or that he won't cheat on me?
**I know it sounds kind of stupid, but it really bothers me** (link)
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This isn't a stupid question.
Now, there is no absolute way to suddenly make yourself trust someone. Initially, it's taking a risk - you decide to open yourself up to another person. It's up to that person to continue to earn and keep your trust.
This guy broke your trust, and it's natural to doubt his actions. How did you feel when he cheated on you? How do you STILL feel about it? Is it worth it to live with these doubts and hurt feelings - all for a guy you don't trust?
It's your choice, and I wish you the best. Sometimes the hardest thing to do is listen to your brain/heart and do what they say, but that's usually the only way to make sure you'll be happy.
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ok when im with my friends i always say tha tlike the jocks & stuff r hot.. which they r and alot of the times ill like them.. but when it comes to actually likin sumone and being in relationships i choose the guys that my friends think r not hot.. like i go for personality not looks... a good body is just a plus.. and my friends r always like y r u with him, hes ugly, u could do so much better., but i dont want to do better i like the guys that im with... how can i make my friends see that id rather have a guy with a soso body & a great personality than a guy with a great body but cant even make me laugh...???
average people liker...... (link)
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Well, your friends will never know unless you tell them. Right now, you tell them that you only like jocks - they are doing what friends do, and they believe you.
It can be hard to admit you like someone your friends don't approve of, but that's what you need to be able to do. I'm sure some of your friends have similar thoughts.
Think about it - even within the category of 'jocks', there are a bunch of different guys. Different hair colour, personality, brains. They aren't all alike, and I'm sure each of your friends prefers different sorts of guys.
The one thing I know they'll agree with you about is that girls need to find guys they actually like; there's no point in dating someone for your friends. Relationships are about YOU and your partner, not your friends.
So tell them - I bet they react really positively.
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Well I am a 20 year old female and lately I been wanting to have a baby. So when I ask my boyfriend of 4 1/2 years he was like no because he had to babysit his 6 nephews all the time. So what should I do? (link)
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It's normal to start thinking about babies as you get older - that's the old biological clock. It's the way that evolution has insured humans won't die out.
But that's just the species - think about you. Why would you want a baby if you are not deeply committed (for example, marriage) to your partner? There is a very real chance, especially as you are so young, that the relationship will end.
Having a baby means that the child automatically becomes your first priority, and that has to start before you even think about pregnancy. Is it fair to your child to willingly bring it into a home which will probably only have one parent? What about giving your baby a father who doesn't want kids?
You'll also want to think about money, time, and emotions. A baby is much more expensive than people think. Can you afford to give the child everything it needs, and most of the stuff it wants, while still paying for a car, food, bills, and rent? Are you prepared to give up time from school or your job (and if you do - how will that affect your financial status)? Are you prepared to change your entire life, forever?
You will miss the chance to be young. Your ovaries will still be around in ten years.
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hey i was jw....whats an orgasm and what does ejacuating mean? whats the difference between the 2? (link)
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An orgasm is the peak of sexual feelings - you'll have been getting more and more excited, and an orgasm happens when these feelings get much stronger and more intense. It could last 5 seconds, or 2 minutes; you could have one big orgasm, or a bunch of tiny ones.
Ejaculating usually occurs when a male has an orgasm. It's when the penis ejects semen, which is made of sperm and other bodily fluids. Some women ejaculate when they have orgasms, too, but it generally doesn't 'shoot out' the way it does when a man ejaculates.
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can you get pregnant 2 weeks before your period? (link)
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Not only can you get pregnant around day 14 of your period (start counting on the first day you get your period - that's day 1), but it's actually the most fertile time of your cycle.
If you've had unprotected sex, you'll want to make sure not to make the same mistake twice. Not only do you have to think about possibly being pregnant, but there is a chance you've contracted a disease.
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Can you have sex when you are pregnant?? (link)
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If you are experiencing a normal, healthy pregnancy, then chances are your doctor would say you could have sex all throughout your term. Sex, if done gently, will not hurt you or the baby.
Of course, it's best to talk to your doctor - she/he will help set your mind at rest and probably give you some literature about the safest and most comfortable positions.
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OK heres the thing me and my boyfriend have been going out for almost a year, and hes a grade younger than me, so next year ill be in a different school an im wondering if othr people are goin to make fun of me and stuff, i rlly like him but im afraid that it might ruin my reputaion, also im afraid wht will appen if he was to brake up wit me? will my reputaion be ruined forevr? PLEASE HELP ME!! I RATE HIGH!! (link)
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You need to decide what is more important to you - this guy, or the way people might (and I stress MIGHT) feel about your relationship with him.
If he is more important, then you need to be strong enough to stick with him. It truthfully sounds like you are more concerned with your reputation.
If your friends are real friends, why would they mock you for being with a younger guy? And if he broke up with you, I'd hope they'd be more worried about your feelings than about running off and telling everyone how broken your heart is.
I think you need to consider where this is all coming from - maybe you are using your reputation worries as an excuse to break if off with him? All you can do is make some time alone for yourself and do some hard thinking.
It's okay if you want to stay with him, but it's okay to break up, too. What isn't okay is doing things just because you worry about how people will judge you - that's a surefire recipe for making a choice you'll regret.
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this is for anyone whose parents divorced, i just need to get a general idea of what it's gonna be like at divorce court. we're going to court at the end of september. my dad has had a girlfriend for around three years and last summer (2003) she had a baby boy. i am thirteen and my little brother is 11. will i get to tell my side of the story? will my brother? how long will it take? thanks for reading this and please don't answer if you've never been to divorce court. (link)
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Something to think about - you may not have to go to court. I didn't when my parents got divorced, and neither did anyone else I know.
I think a lot of people think it's going to be a big dramatic scene with yelling and fighting, but chances are you won't have to step foot in court.
If you'd prefer to live solely with your mom, but visit your dad, make sure your mother knows that. Your father might agree to the arrangement, and if he does, then the adults will take care of everything.
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I've read your feedback - if the reason your mother has to go to court is due to financial aspects, like your dad not giving any money, then my advice still stands. That's for the lawyers, judge, and your parents to work out - not you or your brother.
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when you use the common application to apply for college, is it okay to print it out and mail it to the college instead of doing it electronically?? (link)
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If there is a college you are really interesting in going to, it is best to contact them and ask for their school's application. I understand there is a 'common application' which can be used for several schools, but it may not cover exactly the same issues that your school is concerned about.
It also looks like you are more interested in a particular college if you take the time to fill out their specific application rather than just sending out one standard application to each school.
As far as mailing in a hardcopy or emailing it, again, contact the college. Each admissions board will have their own preferences, and the fact that you contacted them and followed their advice shows that you are detail oriented and serious about their school.
Good luck.
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i'm 16 and a girl. i have never had a boyfriend and i'm tired of it. it's not like i can't get one i have boys ask me out and stuff it's just that i always say no. then they get mad at me and don't speak to me. i like them and stuff it's just that i always say no. wat should i do. (link)
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If you don't like them, keep saying no. Just say it in a way which will be less painful for the guy to hear.
It's worth waiting for someone you'll really care about, male or female, and I think you are strong and healthy to not date someone just to date them.
Your emotions come first, and you completely deserve to be with someone you actually want to be with.
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If you fell in love (like REALLY fell head over heals in love) and you know it will never ever EVER work out(like the man might as well be dead its so never ever going to happen), is it normal to feel like you'll never love anyone that way again? He didn't break up with me cuz we weren't ever really together, but my heart is broken. I'm not angry with him or anything either. Its just that I know in my heart that i will never feel this way about anyone ever again, just is it normal? (link)
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Yes. Completely, painfully, awkwardly normal. That's what love is - you open yourself to the possibility of sharing your soul with another person. Of course it hurts when that ends.
The stronger your feelings were, the longer it'll take you to recover. But you WILL feel better, and you WILL find love again.
My first relationship ended, after a year and a half, when I was a senior in high school. I thought I had found my true love - the person I'd be with forever. I mourned for a long time, and it even affected relationships I had throughout college.
But you know what? I found my REAL true love. The heart goes on - and what I've discovered is that though the pain and emotions following that break-up were devestating, I wasn't even close to experiecing the sort of love I have now in my marriage.
It hurts, but in a few years you'll realize how wrong (and how LUCKY you were wrong) you were to think you could never find love again. Be strong.
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One more question. What is the best way to heal a broken nose??? (link)
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Go to a doctor to make sure it's broken, then do what s/he says.
I've broken my nose three times - it's never needed to be reset. My particular breaks were better left to heal on their own.
If you find yourself in the same situation, then just take whatever your doctor recommends for the pain, don't mess with your nose, and let time work its magic.
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My parents gots divorced 2 years ago but they don't hate eachother or anything. Both of them are dating. My mom has been with this guy for about 6 months and my dad is kind of courting some lady. They were just talking of the phone and my mom called and asked for my dad so I told him she was on the phone. He said tell her I'll call her later. I told my mom he was busy and she said, 'no he just doesn't want to talk to me, thats alright' It makes me feel uneasy when they have a fight or disagreement. Any ideos on what it could be about? (link)
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Sure. It's about the fact that even adults get frustrations, broken hearts, and experience jealousy. Your parents made a tough decision to get divorced, and it's probably equally tough for you to understand.
They've spent more of their adult lives living together than living separately, and it's going to take everyone time to adjust to the new situation. It sounds like your mother was just upset your father wasn't able to speak with her - she's been used to a relationship where SHE came first, and even if she's happier divorced it can be hard for her to accept that your dad is with someone else.
If they are ever putting you in the middle, or saying bad things about the other parent, then you should sit down and let them know you feel. You love both of them, and you are a real person, not just a pawn in their games.
If you only hear occasional comments, like your mother saying she knows your father doesn't want to talk to her, then know these will probably slow down over time. Everyone has disagreements with each other; it's impossible to escape from.
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