mercury's advice column

askmercury

advice column ask question view feedback favorite columnist advicenators

Q: what are some other names for pediatrician?

Well the ones I know are 'baby doctor','paediatrician' and 'pediatrist',hope I helped you:)

Q: i would like to know when is the most appropriate time to have sex for a girl not to get pregnant?

And if you are a girl,bc I think you can be either a girl or a boy,think about the same I wrote but backwards,:)let me know if you got what I wrote before

Q: I have a crush on my french teacher. He is really nice , cool, and smart. In fact my favorite quality of him is when he speaks in french-he sound so cool.In addition he fun to joke around, not a lot people are willing to joke around with me, and that makes him more appealing. But i do not want to have this crush on him because it makes me jealous and envious when ever he compliments the other kids or talk to them instead of me. Furthermore, i am an eleventh grader and i think i want to become a french teacher, like him, but i not sure if i am doing it for the right reasons. I mean i am the smartest student in the class and i believe french is so cool, but i am worried that i only want to be a french teacher because i want his attention.

The same thing happened to me when I was at highschool too,but he was my law teacher,he was a lawer as well,he wore those black suits and red ties,god!he looked just as a vision to me,he was very handsome,sweet and very kind at the same time,as months went by I started to fall in love with him,the thing is that he was very kind with me and that sort of confused me a bit,and being so young and silly I reckon I just felt that he liked me too,sometimes he just kept looking at me and I would feel as if I was going to die or sommething,it was so good while it lasted,later on after garduating I felt like almost dying bc I knew I wouldn't see him anymore,so I started to look for information about him,where he lived,what his car was,anything that could be useful,so sadly enough,I ended up discovering he was married with children,lol,I finally understood that 'ours' would've never worked,bc I was really young and had so much to do yet,and so many other people my age of course to meet too,later on I met the love of my life,so girl,don't feel bad about it,just try to think about how young you are and that if you like French that much,then go for it!it's your dream you are persuing,not your teacher,I really hope I've helped a little:)

Q: Me and my boyfriend are dating eachother for 11yers now got engaged 3years ago.. Stil dnt have a date to get married... 5 years ago I fell deeply inlove whit a colleag of mine who use to work with me nd we still seeing each other can't have enough of each other we bouth are deeply in love but our relationships are complicated can't seem to brake up wit my boy friend after 11years... Nd nw His Gf is pregnant...my fiance kanda irritates me now nd I'm not enjoying myself having sex with him... Wot do I do? I want to be with the other one bt we can't be together its to complicated... I love hime more than my boyfriend but his expecting a baby soon I can't take him away from that an he won't either... I also got pregnant of him but went for abortion and he didn't no just told him that I lost the baby...I love this man so much I don't no what to do? Advise please?

This is a terrible thing that's happening to you,how come you could carry on with someone who you do not love for 11 years?!In my humblest opinion,it's a bit late now,the two of you should've considered what to do a long time ago.Now,this guy,the one you love is expecting a child,but from another woman,so try to sort things out,and try not to brake off a family,bc children suffer a great deal bc of situations of this nature,the same thing happened with my mum and I could never forgive her.

Q: alright so... i don't have the best skin. it's oily as hell. and the pimple... i'm not worried about that it's the blackheads. the makeup i use doesn't cover them nor the bumps they have NOR the holes they leave when i pull them out. and i'm not sure what to try now. i mean i'm cheap so i use drugstore, walmart type store makeup like maybelliene and covergirl... but i've been looking at MUFE, MAC, Smashbox, and other stuff...
but before i buy them i want to be sure they'll work because they are so expensive. so if you know any makeup good for covering blackheads or can find out some.. or even can find me a good article on this or a internet makeup tutorial please tell me.
and don't give me a lecture on how makeup won't help it, i'm not a retard i know that. but i would appreciate the help, not a LECTURE.

ASEPXIA is the best ever!!!:)

Q: I want to die as there is no reason for my life on this earth..My life is shit..im a loser.n i feel its better to die than to care about some shit..idc about who feels bad coz idk who really will feel..all i know is i want to kill myself n is there any way by which i can die painlessly? please help me

Look,I think it's wrong to ask for such kind of help,af if people who are member of this site were killers or something,you do know very well that what you want to do is coward and silly.Have you ever thought about disabled people?or people from underdeveloped countries?kids starving to death,or people begging for a sip of water?what are your problems?so you think you are a loser?you know?I'm the biggest loser on earth and still do think I have a mission in life,I have to deal with it,I have to face up difficult things of life,many times I thought about dying 'cause I knew how convenient that way was,just stop fighting and put an end to everything,get some professional help and try to help others instead of asking such things and discouraging those who have a positive view of life!!!

Q: So I am a 15 yeard old female, and I am bisexual. I am sure this is not some "phase". I have always had an attraction to girls, and this year I've felt that attraction even more.

Let's cut to it. I've told abou 10 of my friends that I am bi, and all of them have accepted it so far.

Basically, I have no problem coming out to the world as a bisexual, but it's my parents. They are very homophobic. And when I say very I mean extreamly. My dad hates andything related to LGBTQ, and my mom does too, but she has a bi friend.

What I'm basically asking is if you have any tips on how to come out to homophobic parents, or what I should do etc.

Hi!!!I'm gay,male,and I know what it's like to live with homoph.parents,look I'm 26 and never told them anything about my sexuality,cause I understood that they would never accept it and I JUST DON'T CARE,because I'm just their son,that's all,I'm not gonna spend my whole life with them,I'm independent,sexually,emotionally,physically,etc..They are not gonna tell me who I'm gonna love or have sex with,so stop feeling awful about something that you know is pointless,they can either accept it or not,all the same you won't stop feeling the same throughout your entire life;)ps:I have another gay bro and my sister is a lesbian and we are very happy:)

Q: So as my previous question,,i took your all advices,,,but you won't believe what happened,,so i told my husband about my feelings,,that i dont love him anymore,,but didn't told him about the other guy,,,so he didn't talk to me at least two days,,so after that we talked and he was all angry and shouting that i am too selfish,all im thinking is about me, i dont take his feelings seriously nor his family's,....and all im putting him on a really an awkward situation,of course i couldn't speak a word and thats it ....i mean his not even concerning my feelings,, im in a big mess,,i mean what should i do now!!

Being honest would be the best I believe:)(and you cannot say'i need advices')(ungrammatical)

Q: (Sorry about the length)

Okay so let me start from the very beginning i really like this guy whos one year younger than me i used to go to the same childminder as him but now i dont we went out for ages a year almost and then he finally kissed me and i knew that this was a relationship worth holding onto i'd totally misjudged him from then on i saw him in a whole new light he wasent just the boy i met not he was sensitive kind and funny but i told none else and then for some reason when he was with his friends he was a jerk to me! He acted like i was some kind of wierdo that never went away he laughed at me with his friends so i broke up with him then i reaslised it was a really bad idea and i shouldnt have but i cant talk to him at my childminders because now i have my own key to the house and whenever i see him on the way home he speeds up or ignores when i say hi tomorrow were meeting up with my family and his with my old childminder for a day out what should i say to him? without embarrasing myself or looking like a sissy infront of him how i can sort of make suttle hints and then he'll ask me back out but one problem there will be lots of other people there and it'll be wierd if i ask him to talk to me in private Please help me i dream about him every night and its stupid that i broke up with him! HELP MEEE!

I've got to say,that what you wrote is not so clear,are you really sure that you are so in love with him?I mean,it seems to me that you worship him,but does he deserve to be treated like that?you said that he treated you as if you were a weirdo,and laughed at you along with his friends,dump him!!!stop paying attention to him,if he cannot respect you,it's either 'cause he doesn't care about you or he is not mature enough to face up a future and serious relationship with you or anyone else!even though he loves someone.

Q: I have an issue. One of my close friends who I've known for many years isn't being very...smart, per say. She hurts me and our other friends mentally and physically, and she makes terrible choices on purpose. She's refused to let our other friends and myself help correct her bad behavior and downhill lifestyle for over a year. I kept persisting, but now I think I'm wasting my time if I keep trying. Should I try to keep helping or leave her on her own?

Mmmm...this is very serious,too bad I'd say,it's very hard when it comes to friends,so I'd suggest that you look for another kind of help,I mean,professional help,maybe she's suffering a great deal and doesn't know how to ask for help,you amazed me when I read'physically',how come?you should try to keep on helping her,don't leave her alone,this is the moment when she might be needing you the most.

Q: when do you stop fighting for love? not fighting like yelling, but trying to make things work out. we're still very much in love, but were in a difficult situation. this has been going on for months. things have been really bad, but i'm not sure i want to give up on us. when do you give up on love? is it when you forget what youre fighting for? thanks

Well,I would do it all the time,because I've always loved my partner very much,well...a few months ago I felt like stop doing it,I felt like stop missing him or 'controlling' him so much,you know,I kinda understood that if he loves that much and I love him that much as well,then there's no reason to be fighting for our relationship all the time,except of course, when something serious happens,or when somebody tries to keep us apart,like our parents:(Look it'd be helpful if you tell us what your difficult situation was,what you're still or were fighting for, so as to see if I/we could be a bit more straightforward in my/our answer:)meantime,if you still love him/her that much,then don't stop fighting for them;)

Q: He has no family only child.His parents passed on.and I have no contact of his friends.

Facebook,hotmail,yahoo,gmail account????When there are no physical means to have some clue,then resort to the internet,otherwise it's going to be really difficult to get any contact with him,have you thought about doing a trip?I mean going where he lives?If he is one your best friends,then he's worth it,isn't he?I know it must be difficult 'cause you would have done it already if you had had the chance to,but start thinking about it,'cause he could be in trouble or something.

Q: Oh boy. I've got it bad!

Me and this guy have been friends for about 6 months now, and he is just the awesomest guy I know! A little over a month ago, I broke up with my old boyfriend, and this guy was there for me and took me out to ice cream and made me feel better! I knew I enjoyed hanging out with him, but it wasn't until my Spring Break that I really realized how much I cared for him.

Over spring break, I went home, and he stayed where we go to college. But he drove 4 hours to come to my home town and we had so so much fun! He even put his arm around me, so I started to feel like he liked me too.

Since we have gotten back, we have gone out every night. The way he looks at me is just the most amazing thing ever, and I swear I have never felt this good before. We sat in the car and he told me how he had so much fun with me over spring break, and that it was just the greatest day, and how awesome I was, and he even told me I was cute! I really started to like him at this point... He is seriously amazing!

This morning we got together again, and he taught me how to change my oil! It is kind of silly, but I just had the best time. He had never really broken the "touch barrier" before, but he like touched my hair, my hands, we laughed when I would do something stupid, and at the end of it all, he helped me get all cleaned up.

I guess the point of all of this is, I think I am falling in love with him, and up until this evening, I thought he was feeling the same way!

The issue is...he is going on a date tonight. With another girl. I mean, I have hung out with other guys during all this too, but I knew how I felt about them compared to Alex. So he is going somewhere with this girl, and now I just don't know. He really is a good guy, I know he wouldnt play me or anything, so I just need to know. Does he really like me, or am I somehow reading into this wrong?

Thanks for reading! I know it was long!!

You're not dreaming,though,this guy definitely likes you,and I'm sure he does not want to hurt your feelings,but this is something that regularly happens with most guys,they try to show that they are not that desperate and act as if everything was so easy and simple,even when they are deeply in love with somebody,they just try to show that they can handle it,they're a bit silly at this,try to let him know how you feel,I'm sure he already knnows, though,but make that clear to him,gentlemen do not exist anymore,so it's us who have to brake the ice,hope I've helped a little;)

Q: I've been considering it the past seven years... I attempted once out of all that time and got saved at the hospital. Well, I really want to do it... end my life. When I look in the mirror, I'm not satisfied with what I see. I don't have anyone in my life. I barely have money. Question is... will God forgive me if I ended my life today?

Well,I'm a catholic person and I've always been taught that God does not forgive any of his children if they decide to commit suicide,think about it,so in answer to your question,no,definitely not,He won't forgive you no matter what your reason/s are to do so.

Q: My boyfriend wants to have sex with me but i am not ready, yet i do not want to loose him.

Well I guess it depends on how old you guys are,maybe you're very young and have no experience whereas he maybe does,sex is very important in a relationship,but of course you're not doing annything wrong if you feel like you're not ready yet,anyways,I think won't leave you only 'cause of that,if he really loves you of course,men need sex even more than girls,that's a fact unfortunately:(

Q: Hi I am kinda worried.I've known this male friend for over32 yrs.he's like a brother to me nothing more nothing less,We've be talking and texting for 4 months straight everyday.The last time we spoke was 03/5/2012.and he said to me I will text you an Tuesday.He hasn't text me over a month,I tried texting him no answer....tried calling him no answer I even left him a voice mail at his job never got back to me.I don't know what to do/I can't get in contact with him I am worried something happened.we live 200 miles from each other.I need some kind of advice please.Thank You.

Haven't you tried calling his relatives or friends?after 32 years I'm sure you must know all about him,family,friends home address,it's not gonna be difficult to know what's going on,but don't freak out before knowing what happens.

Q: I am 19 years old, and about to finish my first year of college, with a 4.0. I'm a good person, and all that.

Anyway, I still do not have my license. Through high school the classes were too expensive, & i couldn't afford insurance. So, now I can, (and have been able to since last year) my mom lets me drive on occasion. Mainly back streets and such. My 16 year old brother gets to drive much much more then me. Main roads, etc. When I ask if I can drive or if we can practice, she laughs. I've come to the conclusion, that she just doesn't want to let me go.

If i tell her I am going downtown, etc. she freaks out, and bribes me with money or something so I won't go. Since I can't drive, & neither can my closest friend, I sometimes have to rely on her to take us somewhere. She ALWAYS backs out last minute, and makes me look like such a jerk for making plans with someone and then I can't go.

Last year when I was in high school, I was very much considering going about an hour away and living at this one college. If I got enough financial aid, then I was going to go. I did, and I was very excited. Then, a few days later my mom came home with a puppy for me... (i LOVE animals)

So, I'm not sure what to do anymore. I'm so bored on weekends usually. Besides my best friend, my other two friends got boyfriends, so I've been doing next to nothing every weekend..

What do I do? What do I say?

I know my mom just doesn't want to share me, and she tells me how she would be so lonely without me, but this is just getting crazy, even her friends are telling her this.

Well,that is really sweet,you're mum is really sweet,but I do know that she is overprotecting you.Look,if you want me to be honest,you two should do therapy together so as to see if there's something wrong between the the two of you,maybe she is seeing something in you that still promts her or moves her to protect you as if you were still a litte kid,mmm...Maybe there's something wrong only with her,or who knows,therapy is really useful for most of people sometimes,you ought to try it,trust me,it helped me a great deal to me once,hope I've helped a little:)

Q: excuse me but it seems your missing the point take me for example i commited armed robberie, street robberie and unfortunatly when i was drunk i attempted to rape my own sister my mum and dad has been together for 18years and she started goin out with a guy.....geuss what?......she met him online gaming so that is pretty fucked up so my dad kicked off my mum kicked him out then 1month later she kicked me out so my dad didnt want me even though i stood by him...AND GUESS WHAT??!! im currently 16 years of age and im currently awaiting my court dat for the attemted rape on my sister which my lawyer said im definitly goin to prison so basically.......i have a fucked up life and i tried to kill myself last week by cutting my wrists i wouldve succeded if my social worker didnt come downstairs for a drink so there he his in the doorway looking at me on the with ALOT of blood so 2days ago left hospital im currently of thinking climbing the big ben (the clock tower in london) and jumping off so i hope my story im telling you wasnt a waste of time as your the only person ive told in my life....do me a favour....whenever you see anyone that needs help just help them in anyway you can oh also my names david

David,look nobody in the planet is going to prevent you from killing yourself,if you want to do that just do it,but let me tell you that if you actually want to continue living, what you have to do is the correct thing; I mean you do need to go to prision and pay for what you've done,later on,you can put yourself together and get a job,get a life, be someone in life. You know something?I used to feel the same way you do,I would want to kill myself when I was younger but I found a reason to carry on with my life,'cause I reckon that's one of the main reasons why some people want to commit suicide,because they have no reasons to live,they have nothing to do,so reconsider what you are thinking right now.

Q: Recently I went to a party and saw a boy I used to go to school with years ago there. We didn't really talk at school but we know who each other were. Anyway we both got quite drunk and ended up kissing that night and we spent a lot of the night together just kissing it was really nice. He told me he had only just been dumped by his girlfriend a week ago and he wanted her to leave him alone. He got my number at the end of the night and has texted me a lot since. Anyway we caught up again last weekend and were both drinking, as soon as he saw me gave me a kiss. We hooked up again that night and he was so lovely to me. We ended up going back to my house and sleeping together. He stayed the night and he was so so nice to me the whole time and seemed really interested. He apologized the next day for drinking so much because he was nervous. He has also texted me every day since and he wants to go out drinking again this weekend. Do you think he likes me or is just in it for the sex?

Want me to be as straightforward as possible?as you just said'Just one night stand',that guy doesn't wanna have any commitment again,stay away from him,or keep him as a booty call,if not you'll end up broken hearted hon,believe me:)

Q: What's the easiest way to die painless

The easiest way is to wait till your time to die comes:)(you are not allowed to make such a decision)

bio

Don't follow any advice,no matter how good,until you feel as deeply in your spirit as you think in your mind that the counsel is wise...Take it easy...but take it!! My aim here is to give good advice,not gentle words,but what I think is best for you to do;)