I aim to give you solid advice on your problems. I don't sugarcoat things and I'm always straight up. Don't come asking for what you want to hear as I always give the truth even if you don't want it because it's what you need and the only way to grow.
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My mom just died and plans are underway for a church service for her. Given the corona virus, I can't say that I'm too keen on hanging out with a bunch of people in a church. I would imagine that there's be lots of crying and hugging involved. I also live with an old man that will certainly die if I catch it and end up giving it to him. I smoke a lot, so I might die myself. Also, I'm an empath and can absorb other people's emotions and feel them as my own. This is already very painful for me and that's just MY emotions. Let alone also feeling the emotions of others. Which can be overwhelming. I don't really know how tough I can be. But I really don't want to be in that environment. Not going I feel would be disrespectful to my mom. But then there's a lot of reasons not to go. I'd feel bad about not going, but I'd also be very anxious and uncomfortable cause of the virus and I'm not sure how much emotion I can handle. So I guess my question is, should I just go and risk the virus and the emotions? or just mourn her from home?
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Good question and one that's hard to find a real answer for. The Covid situation is very real but funeral homes have taken more precautions than any other business because of the disease and the deceased people with it that they have done services for.
Most have limited funerals at least here to 10 people total and you had to register those ten people with the funeral home and make sure they showed up to be the only ones present in the actual venue 6 feet apart on chairs with masks.
That's the same for viewings. They may divide that into two so you get 20 people over course of two hours. It's all synchronized to avoid possibility of picking up the disease. Low risk.
I think your mother would understand on that level and that you're terrified of giving it to an elderly man you live with by mixing with others even at a funeral service. She would be happy you put him first.
Also, I'm sure she knows that this is a hard thing for a young person to go through and that you don't want a traumatic memory of a funeral about her. She would understand if it's just too overwhelming and that you can't handle it.
I doubt anyone wouldn't understand this or think you didn't care enough. Here's what I would do. I would insist to others that you are writing the eulogy for her but have asked someone to read it on your behalf because you cannot get through this and feel traumatized. Tell them you aren't able to be in the room and also worry about the at risk person you live with for COVID.
In fact, they themselves may think it's a risk to go that they can't take. That's why you can also register for a video linkup to the actual service. You can consider that as an option or have it filmed somehow so when you are ready you can see it and process it on your own. Your mom knows you and would understand.
If part of her legacy is you quitting smoking or fixing any destructive habits or getting rid of negative things or people in your life that's a blessing. Smoking is difficult to quit but if this helps you conquer it and her passing as well as life inspires you to keep at it that's a connection to her you will remember as being positive during what is the worst of circumstances. Be well.
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I’m not sexually active or anything, but when I masturbate, sometimes there are yellowish chunks that come out when I ejaculate. These tend to have a stronger smell than semen usually does- does anyone know what this is? Should I see a doctor? I’m a 17 year old guy if that helps (link)
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Here's an article from a respected medical journal on everything you could ever want to know about semen and what is healthy and not about it. Some people have thicker than others or what you described. There are reasons most of which not to worry about.
It can also be according to the article dehydration, not ejaculating with frequency etc. They also mention infection. The color, amount and consistency of it varies. Unless there is painor you are urinating too frequently there's not much else to worry about covered in the article. https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/thick-semen#summary
As far as smell goes unless it's really awful likely it's fine. Semen does have a smell and it's usually a pleasant and sweeter smell than something that is not.
If you are concerned it's perfectly okay to mention it to your doctor that you don't understand what's happening and or don't feel good about an odor. They'll give you info.
There does seem to be a link though with consistency per the article with it being thicker or not based on frequency of releasing it through sexual activity or masturbation. It's no big deal and can and does look different. I think you're fine but haven't really noticed this before now.
Not to be crude or gross but in my own experiences I have noticed the differences over time and it's been no medical issue. It's common that it changes in consistency and the amount and should not cause concern or any worries about sex or pregnancy with a partner.
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My friend invited me out and let me know that she was bringing another friend. From the beginning, I let her know I was an introvert and even that I prefer one on one. But, she’s cool and she has other friends so I can understand why she wants to bring us all together. But, I felt uncomfortable around them not because they weren’t nice. It’s because I feel anxious around new people. I also feel I couldn’t relate to what they were talking about. Like what they thought was funny I didn’t find any humor. They just seem to click and if I wasn’t there I think it would not made a difference. I’m someone prefer one on ones but I realize people have other friends. My question is do I let my friend know I have social anxiety. Should I feel bad that I don’t want to hang out in a group. They were all extroverted too. I’m introverted and I’m shy. I’m trying to work on it because I want to be able to hang out with my friends friends in a group setting. I’ve done it before with other friends. It is possible but today I just maybe felt like I did fit in with the group. (link)
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Absolutely! It's obvious that your friend likes you and wants you to get on with her cohorts. The reason they all seem to click and you feel out of the loop is because they have had all these years to become a tight group and you haven't.
Extrovert or not has nothing to do with your ability to make and keep lasting friends. You don't have anything less than they do in that ability. You have a lot of the qualities people like.
You should tell your friend that you suffer from a medical condition which is an anxiety issue and it's difficult to socialize with people. Tell her you want to connect with her friends but that it feels overwhelming sometimes to be around new people, sounds etc.etc. She should understand and make things easier on you and for this group to accept you.
Being honest and blunt about it is best as it helps you and everyone else to adapt and become comfortable. They might think that you don't like them otherwise. You have nothing to lose by being truthful. You will be fine if you do that.
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Is it possible that my ex thinks of me at all? We were friends for 6 months and then dated for another 8 months. While not the longest relationship...they were formative years. we were eachothers firsts and we were both mid-college. We are both married now with families but a few times a year she pops in my head and I can't get her out. We are facebook friends but outside of saying Happy Birthday, there is no contact. Do I just keep trying to forget? (link)
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Memories aren't a bad thing as long as you realize that being Facebook friends or bumping into one another occasionally or sharing friends is all that is going to happen. It's platonic. Wondering about someone's welfare and what they are doing now is fine.
You can't forget or erase someone who had impact on you but you have to realize that you both are with different people and families. Obviously there's something about her that sticks in your mind. Provided it's not unhealthy or something you can't act upon it's okay to wonder about something. Thinking about her constantly means something needs to be resolved so you can move on completely.
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I’m 26 years old, my boyfriend is 28. We have been together for 2 years, recently we decided to make the big step of moving in together, he told me that his sister would move in too,she’s 17 about to be 18. At first I was fine with It bc in the other house they lived in before she was always in her room or she’d be with her dad who lives with his girlfriend. I also didn’t take the time to really think It through, i was just ready to get out of my toxic stepdads house. I’ve always known that my boyfriend and his sister are close, but I didn’t realize HOW close until I started living with them. I have noticed that they go into the bathroom with each other when one another showers or pees/poops. Private parts are covered when they do this, but still.. I find It odd. She cuddles with him on the couch and lays on his lap, anytime she hears his voice she comes out of her room and is always RIGHT there next to him. The only time my boyfriend and I get any privacy is when we’re back in our room and even then there’s only a thin wall separating us from his sister, so she can hear EVERYTHING. Even when my boyfriend takes me on dates he orders her something to go because he feels bad about leaving her at home. Don’t get me wrong, I love a man who is close with his family but they’re TOO close and it’s beginning to cause a lot of problems in our relationship. Another issue is he makes me pay half the rent, but she gets to live there for free. My boyfriends dad pays our electricity and water (he has a key and comes and goes sometimes) and my boyfriend considers that as her contribution to the house. She doesn’t work, anytime I bring up her getting a job It always starts an argument because she is still in highschool, but she’s out by 2pm, so she has time to get a part time job, so she can contribute to the house as well. She also doesn’t plan on working once she graduates, her dad told her as long as she studies she doesn’t need a job. I have been struggling with making money too through the pandemic, but to my boyfriend that doesn’t matter. I have to meet my half of the rent by the end of the month, which I have. I find ways to make money, but when I bring up her doing something too and us splitting the rent in thirds, it’s a huge argument. I told my boyfriend that if she can’t contribute or isn’t willing to work, she should live with her dad (they have a room for her at her dads)He shut me down immediately and we got in an argument about how he thinks I’m jealous of his sister, which isn’t the case at all. I just think if family is gonna be with us the finances should be split evenly. I have asked my boyfriend what his future plans are and if we’ll ever have a place of our own, he says in 10 years once this house is paid off we’ll get a home just the 2 of us.. in 10 years I will be 36, almost 40 years old. I don’t know if I can deal with this until then. He talks about marriage and kids with me one day, but I don’t wanna have kids with him until we are living by ourselves. Before I moved in I thought It would be a sense of independence and that our relationship would grow stronger, but it’s not. I feel trapped and like I’m losing my relationship because we can’t have any intimacy together in our home with his sister ALWAYS there between us. I can’t go back to my moms and I can’t afford a place on my own at the moment, so I’m stuck. I don’t know how else to go about this situation. Am I being unreasonable for wanting her to work and help out more? I wanna get how I feel across without my feelings being invalidated. I feel like the dad has put his kid on us and I don’t like that at all. HELP!! (link)
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If you think this is bad wait until you marry the guy if you do. This will become even worse then and over time than it is now.
I don't think it's at all wrong to ask his kid sister to contribute what she can be it money, cooking or whatever and not have it be a free ride. She needs to learn responsibility and what it's like to live without mom, dad and brother.
They have coddled her all her life and are doing her no favours by continuing to do so when she's an adult in about a years time.
They have a close relationship which I get it comes with being siblings but he has no backbone to stand up to her and won't. If it leads to arguments make an ultimatum that things change or you're out. Even if your name is on the lease there may be a way out if you tell the landlord you're splitting.
One idea is to talk to her father about how boorish she's being and that she's contributing nothing and you both can't support her through Covid and beyond. Ask him to either employ her and get her to contribute something or ask that he take her back. This may piss your boyfriend off but it needs to happen.
Try talking to the kid alone by yourself when he's not there and level with her about being coddled, enabled and having to contribute and that her dad despite saying she'll never need a job is wrong as she has no plan B. Ask her to try harder and find a job and learn adult responsibility or consider moving out because it's not working.
As far as nudity goes they're siblings and likely have bathed as well as seen each others bits before that being in same bathroom and using shower or toilet at same time isn't a big deal to them but unusual to you. There's nothing wrong with it from their perspective but you should let them know it bothers you.
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I’ve developed really strong feelings for one of my friends, but it’s hard because he doesn’t see me in the same way. I met him a year ago through a Bible study group at my university. We got to know each other really well because he gives me rides to church. To start with, I had a little puppy crush on him, but I pushed it aside to keep from getting hurt. Last semester, we started becoming pretty close friends and my feelings developed even more. Unfortunately, I found out he likes another girl from our group. She politely turned him down, but they still remain friends and he still likes her. Also, last semester another girl joined our Bible study and me and her have gotten really close. Her and my crush went to high school together so they have known each other for four years. She told me she had a crush on him, so I told her I did too since she was being open and honest with me. She was already telling me she was thinking about telling him, so I made sure to let her know I was not telling her this to keep her from telling him and that I would step back since she spoke with me first and has known him longer. She ended up telling him. He let me know, and she let me know afterwards and told me how it went. He had just gotten out of a relationship (it only lasted a month) and said he only thought of her as a friend. Since my crush on him developed, I’ve had to listen to him talk about a girl he liked (the one that turned him down), a different girl (who ended up being his girlfriend for a month), and then my friend. He wanted my opinion, but I didn’t want to give it because she’s my friend, but he’s my crush. The fact that he’s coming to me for advice on his crushes or girls who’s interested in him is a big sign he doesn’t like me like that. Fast forward, earlier this week me, my crush, my friend and another girl went for a walk in the evening to look at the plants on our college campus. My crush showed me some plants and then I went to the swing while my friend and the girl went and looked. My friend came up to me to ask if I was ok because she knows I have anxiety. Since my crush and the girl were distracted out of earshot, my friend spoke to me and said she knows I don’t need permission from her, but she’s okay with me telling him. I had told her before I wouldn’t do that because I didn’t want to hurt our friendship (someone did that to me in the past). She said she has other things to worry about and he only saw her as a friend, so she guaranteed it would be ok and said if I decide to do it, she wishes me luck. I thanked her and said if I ever decided, I would be sure to tell her first to make sure she’s ok with it. Her and the girl had to leave to meet someone, so I was alone with my crush. I wish I could tell him. Our passions go hand-in-hand even though they’re different. I’m a nutrition major who cares about the environment and he’s a biological engineering major who cares about the environment so we use our majors to discuss our same passion. He said he likes talking with me about that because he knows very little on nutrition and I talk more about the biochemistry part of it. I know if I never tell him, I’ll regret it. I’ve never liked anyone this much for this long, but I’m worried about getting friend-zoned. I know we won’t quit being friends, but I like him so much more than that, and can’t shake it no matter how hard I try. I think I might already be friend-zoned, honestly. How do I escape this? He’s not a hugging type of person (including with his crushes), so I can’t really do physical touch. (link)
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Sometimes the friend zone is the right zone. Maybe you are destined to be friends or more. Often having a close friendship in the end is better and more meaningful than a relationship that could fall apart and cast out someone from your life that you care about. That's one thing to consider.
I think regardless of how he sees you as friend or potentially more that he as an interest in you and common interests and obviously if he includes you in his life and circle of friends that he wants you to be something to him but what?
You are doing yourself a lot of harm with anxiety and constant needless worry. If you like him you need to corner him and ask privately where do you see me as a friend or potential to be more and that either way you need to know this and get it off your chest so it doesn't consume you.
He may say he prefers to be friends which is okay or consider something more. You just won't know unless you ask. He may nervous as you are and lacking ability to say something too. Being honest even if you might have him say something you don't want to hear is important.
You never know even if he considers you just a friend for now what might develop over time. People change their minds and perceptions of others as they grow together. Close friendships can breed strong relationships later. You never know and cannot achieve a thing without being brave and asking where you stand for now. At the very least you'll know and feel better.
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I hear people throwing that word around a lot and I wanted to know if it's an actual thing or if it's just something that people say when they don't want to confront something?
My dad has Parkinson's disease.... he first developed symptoms about 12 years ago. My mom and I were getting worried about him because his memory was starting to disintegrate. He would frequently forget stuff we just told him and he even got fired from his job because he could no longer keep track of paperwork. We tried to get him to drive less frequently and seek a specialist. Every time we brought up the subject, he would tell us that we were "gaslighting" him. That we were trying to convince him that something was wrong with his brain so that we could control him and destroy his dignity. It took a very long time for him to get help, and by then his condition had advanced.
I hear that term being used so frequently these days and I'm not sure what to think. Is that truly a legitimate thing to complain about? My mom and I were called "gaslighters" for years but we were just trying to keep my dad healthy and alive.
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Dictonary definition Verb: To manipulate (someone) by psychological means into questioning their own sanity.
I'm not sure why he refuses help outright. Perhaps he is scared of what the results would be and using this as a crutch. Does he have religious beliefs where he doesn't trust doctors and won't go? I'm thinking Christian Science for an example. They believe prayer heals all and will not seek medical treatment unless something's really wrong medically.
You're doing all you can. He wants to lead as normal a life as possible and likely feels that you're going to change this and take over. This accounts for his behaviour and likely won't change unless a family doctor shows him results that square up with what you have been trying to tell him.
Often the sufferer of such an illness cannot see the reality of what is going on and to him he's normal unless solidly convinced he's not. He doesn't know anything other than what his brain says is normal.
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I’ve been talking to a guy for 8 months now. I haven’t met him in real life yet. At first, I was mutually interested in him up until I saw him interacting w/ other girls (through social media). I asked him about this, his response was “I only talk to them for a max 1 month”, followed by “you’re the only girl I’m serious about/want to spend my life with. And, "You’re the only girl who could break my heart, if you leave me I’ll be devastated”.
He drops the L bomb very frequently. Which didn’t make sense to me. He’s always texting me, & would often times ask me if I was talking to someone new if I had replied too late, to which I told him I wasn’t. His response would be “No.. it’s fine if you are. Don’t worry, I’ll be fine. I can handle emotional pain.” However, he would still giving me a hard time if I simply interact w/ a guy online in a platonic manner. He would say, “I have high expectations of you.”
Okay, i’m not quite sure if this was suspicious, but I’ll this anyway in case anyone thinks it is & wants to inform me. But he would ask me what I did the whole day, if I ate, what did I eat, what I was doing. I always took this as a simple act of care & didn’t put too much thought behind it. But now it seems like it could’ve been a masqueraded as one. I’m not sure though.
Then, he would check who I was following on social media, & if I had an interaction w/ another conventionally attractive male, he would have a strong visceral reaction & inquire me ab it in a passive aggressive way, threatening to stop talking to me b/c he thought I didn’t care ab him. He constantly “jokes” ab us having kids, getting married, meeting his parents, he would say “tell your mom I said hi.” and yeah, it made me uncomfortable.
(Side note: I think he wants to me “wait” for him to stop playing around w/ other girls, stating that he’ll naturally “change” once he’s in his later 20’s & wants to settle down.”)
I want to know how to get him off my back permanently. He wants to meet me in person, but I’m holding it off b/c I don’t want to continue this relationship. How do I do it w/o it having be suspicious or too abrupt? (link)
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You need to tell your parents about this interaction and that you feel creeped out as you should be by this person. You have no idea on social media platforms or other Internet applications who people really are and their background. It's no place for people especially teens looking for companionship.
He needs to be looked into because what he's doing really sounds wrong especially trying to be controlling and knowing about your movements. He's probably talking to a lot of people and may not be the age you think.
This is not a relationship or a real one and you need to see that it never was. I would say tell adults all you know about him and completely disconnect form the guy immediately.
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Since I was 17 I've once in a while felt the overwhelming urge, deep in my soul, to become a nun or to live some sort of quiet, monastic life, shielded from society with time to focus on spirituality in an inner sense.
The trouble is that these visions feel detached from who I am the rest of the time? Like, when they go away, then I just kind of feel like I have to focus on school and get on with my life.
I'd like to think the visions and feeling of longing goes away just because my circumstances are kind of shitty and my life isn't all that great yet. I'm wondering if I have to get my bearings in the normal real world first and kind of build up a sense of who I am, and then maybe if I'm able to make a really good life for myself, there will come a time when I can take monastic life seriously.
I really do believe in meditation, and a deep life of just prayer and inner commitment. I think, realistically, I could thrive in those environments. But I'm on a medication right now that I'm determined to get off of, and that's causing stress and taking up so much time, that it's like the spiritual side is waiting for a better opportunity.
Does anyone have experience with monastic life? Living as a monk or a nun? Would anyone recommend ways of maybe starting prep-work to make that more a reality like maybe 10 years in the future?
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You don't have to be a nun or a Monk to have spirituality in your life or feel fulfilled. I think what you are looking for is something tangible and not influenced by any organized religion or specific religious tenets.
You really have to ask yourself "what is it that is my core spiritual beliefs?" and live by those and try to live morally and within that parameter.
The real world does seem to be something that revolves pretty fast but you should unplug from social media (it's really toxic) and background nose and tune in to what makes you feel whole or ideas you want to work on.
The other thing is you don't have to be on a full 365/7 tilt with spirituality either or totally connected to God. He's always there guiding when you need him. Don't force this. Sometimes we have to do more listening to him than actual praying or to our own selves to reach healing. Lead a normal life and do the best you can.
You can easily balance all the activities you enjoy and be happy and not ultra religious or a Monk or Nun. However, if you really desire doing that in future you can always read books, consult Internet or even try to arrange talking to one and seeing what their world is like.
As far as medication goes what is it for and how long have you been on it with these feelings that it's bad for you and preventing you from life you want? If it's psychiatric in nature you need to keep a journal about how these moods and thoughts go up and down and anything especially about self-harm.
Show that to your shrink. He or she won't judge but will use it rather as a guide to change meds to something else that will work for you or your dosage so you get the right things out of it.
Never try to ween yourself off of any psychiatric drug as that can be dangerous and lead to crisis and put you right back at square 1 continously if you aren't following treatment and getting out in front of the illness so you're in control and it's in the background.
The thing is and this is just a hunch as I'm not a doctor and rather for what it's worth you might want to look into whether or not you fit the criteria for being bipolar as these thoughts above and constant mood changes can be part of that and you may not know that's the issue unless you speak up and out.
If you want off the medication by all means discuss it with the doctor and how upset you are on it and be incredibly honest and get support. Don't put it on you. They're professionals and will get it right for you.
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Is it ok for my boyfriend of 4 years to call me a fucken bitch I know it’s not all right but what should I do. (link)
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In a fight between couples often anything can come out of a person's mouth including something brought forth by deep resentment or just because it's easy to make a remark that inflicts damage and hurts someone else.
I don't know the guy and whether or not he's a jerk outside of these moments. However, him calling you that really isn't acceptable especially if he's always doing it. That suggests a real problem. If it happened once I'd let it go but all the time forget him and it. Don't stay with someone who doesn't respect you or can't treat you right.
You ought to lay down the law. Tell him that you aren't going to let him get away with him calling you that and that if he can't change that he'll have to learn how to on his own.
There may be a pattern here where he's gotten away with it and thinks he can with you or previous girlfriends. If after 4 years he's being a real pardon the word dick to you than get out now. He won't change and you've seen ample evidence of that fact.
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I’m still in high school and super awkward approaching people. I have no problem having a conversation I just get SUPER nervous trying to approach them. I wanna befriend this person I’ve not really talked to, they sit by themselves during lunch. I’ve went up to talk to them before but got nervous and ended up ranting about something stupid. I wanna go up to them, and im too Nervous and I’m wondering if asking to draw them will Help me make friends with them. Thanks (link)
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One thing you have to understand is that those kids you want to befriend aren't any less nervous than you are about meeting people and or cooler or better than you in any way, shape or form. They may just want someone to approach them first rather than coming to other people first and are as shy and feeling as awkward as you.
I think your idea of drawing them is a good one. You can say that you need to draw someone whom you admire as an assignment for your portfolio and ask if you can. Most people would be flattered and start conversing. I doubt anyone would say no.
One of the best things you could do is join student council at school. It forces you to meet with, accept and work as team with people of all background you normally wouldn't anywhere else to achieve goals and really learn who you are and embrace it and them. Drama courses such as improv or a theater club whether it's on stage stuff or back stage also does the same thing. Parks & rec may offer programs for teens and adults that don't cost much to participate in. You just have to go for it. You're certainly on track for it.
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I've had several really cool, deep experiences in meditation, yet I find I don't do it very often and can't force myself to do it under any circumstances. I want meditation to be a bigger part of my life, but there's this real part of my brain that feels...pained by it? Even when I think about it, something in my mind is like "NO." Does anyone know what this is or could be? Is it a sign that I shouldn't meditate, or is it something that can be overcome? (link)
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Perhaps and this is out of left field that you feel guilt or shame over something it's brought out or a fear of what it could. Usually, when you force something regardless of what it is in your life or overall experience it never turns out right.
Instead of forcing it mediate when fully relaxed and stop putting pressure on yourself to have this huge experience every time. It doesn't really work that way. The more you throw out the urge to force it and just do it when it feels right to the more you will get from it.
You are pushing it to be this huge part of your life which it may in fact become but must approach it gradually so it builds naturally into something that is a big part of who you are.
You just might have a mental block surrounding it that you have to figure out but the whole idea of meditation is calmness and letting things unfold. Forcing it or trying to do it constantly is a problem and why your mind and body are saying woah, no not now. Too much of a good thing etc.
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Hi,
I'm on an antipsychotic and have been medicated against my will for 6 and a half years. I have had severe psychosis in the past but cannot accept the extremely degrading, low-quality life of gaining more weight every month despite healthy living, and not being able to feel happiness despite having great circumstances, that medication creates for me. It also causes slower cognitive functions. I used to be highly creative, and brilliant, and this is now very difficult to access. I've felt like I've been forced to live the very most poisonous thing I could ever imagine for myself, personally. Maybe people without such a need for emotional depth can be comfortable enough without real emotions. I can't. I feel like the medication probably affects me in an extra painful way, because I'm so poetic and sensitive. I can't feel love, and haven't for the past 6 and a half years. Life is very, very meaningless. I feel like I'm cattle just eating for my one form of entertainment. The medication also causes dementia and brain-shrinkage as you age, and there are studies on that.
I'm wondering if anyone has advice for how I can wean off and go through the withdrawal symptoms that these drugs can cause on an extreme level. I've been researching and reading books on psych-drug withdrawal, written by scientists. Apparently what looks like the illness coming back worse than before, when you go off your meds even gradually, has a lot to do with withdrawal and the long-term dependencies that mess up the brain.
I'm also wondering if anyone knows of any really good supplements or anything natural and powerful that could help lessen the withdrawal and prevent out of control craziness. I'm just starting out on CBD oil. I exercise every day. I do a lot of creative things to help ground myself in who I am (or what little is left of me.) I'm doing a lot of things right to live a healthy, positive lifestyle to support the weaning off journey that might be hellish.
I'm also wondering, my big question, how to find an actual good doctor who has experience with weaning people off. That's kind of the big thing for me is if I can find someone who really knows what they're doing and isn't going to give me a depressing, dehumanizing perspective as my only valid option. Every psychiatrist I've seen, since I was a teenager, has been all medication, for life, no exceptions. I just don't even think that's sane.
If I could find some kind of professional who's maybe not even a doctor perse, but who has experience in weaning people off. I think that would be the main thing to shift things a great deal. If anyone has advice about networking or research, or even possible websites, that would be most helpful.
Thanks for your time, and thanks so much.
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Trust me, I know from experience that your levels are way off. What you need to do is tell them exactly what you told us to a psychiatrist and let them lower them accordingly. Once they get the dosage dialed in right you won't be feeling the way you have described. That's really what is at the core of this. Either the wrong medication or the wrong dosage.
I would NEVER try to wean yourself off of psychiatric medication on your own. You're really asking for trouble and setting yourself up for a major crisis and hospitalization for it if you do. It's a dangerous thing to try and not to be done unless a doctor does it.
If you need to be taken off of a drug let them do it gradually or it will not be successful. None of this can cause dementia or permanently mess up your brain or poison you or else nobody would take them nor would they be prescribed.
Some doctors push medications more than others because they know they do in fact do wonders for the person who is suffering from illness if the dosage is right. You need to bitch about it constantly and keep notes that you share every time you visit and call them constantly if something appears off to stay well.
As far as your personality and creativity goes none of these drugs can alter that. It's still there and your gifts do not decrease. You may be feeling as though they do because you haven't let psychiatrists really treat the issue.
There are no substances especially marijuana or CBD oils that will help your illness in fact they can and do make things worse.
You never mentioned what you were diagnosed with as that's important to know. Medication for life is in fact a good thing and a reality but you need the right one and to stick with it. It may be the only thing that keeps you from a crisis.
Stay away from websites or other people's experiences. Many of them have stories and misleading info from people not experiencing the same thing you are or recommending getting off treatment. They really have no idea what they are doing in doing so.
If you go off pills on your own and don't take them you'll usually wind up in the hospital and right back at step one with them having to solve stuff for you over again and it's usually an even worse ordeal than the first time.
I hope you will consider these things and start pushing back at the psychiatrists and get your medications set up correctly as it can and does make all the difference in the world if they aren't.
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I'm a 17 year old guy and this all happened 2-4 years ago (so when I was between the ages of 13-15) but recently it's been back on my mind for some reason, and I never opened up to my parents about it at the time and I'm unsure how to address it because if I bring it up now, they might get annoyed by the fact that I didn't bring it up to them at the time. The reason I didn't bring it up at the time though is because one of the people who was bullying me was formerly my best friend so my parents knew his family well, and so I thought they wouldn't believe me. But recently, it's been on my mind more again (because I've had a falling-out with another falling out with a friend recently- don't worry, nothing malicious went on there, she recently just lied about something pretty major), and I'm feeling like I need to open up to my parents about what happened with the bullying even though I know it's in the past now. I keep asking them if I can show them some stuff that's bugging me on social media, and I do show them pages that bug me and stuff like that, but really, what I truly want to talk about is the bullying I experienced but I can't quite bring myself to talk about it unfortunately.
Also unrelated, but the friend I fell out with recently (not the bully, but the female friend who lied about a very major thing), do you think we'll be on good terms again at some point? Because I'm struggling to forgive that person (who hasn't even apologized for lying)- I made a couple of mistakes, owned up to them, said sorry, but she hasn't admitted to her mistakes or apologized at all. I don't want to talk too much about what happened there though because I think that's better as its own post.
My main question is just how do I open up to my parents about the guy who bullied me? Me and him used to be best friends and my parents know his family really well, so might not believe that he bullied me, so I'm a little worried about their reactions, and if they do believe me, I'm worried they'll be annoyed that I kept it in and bottled up for so long. (link)
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It doesn't matter how they know this person or his family. If something bad happened they're going to need to know and will trust who it's coming from--you above all. You know by this point that you can tell them anything and get helped.
The reason this is bothering you is that there's something there that really needs to be addressed that hasn't and it's gnawing at you until you say something.
How do you do it? Just tell them that so and so did X,Y, Z and why you made the mistake of not telling until now. Even write it down in a note if a conversation isn't easy (yet).
As far as the person who lied about something major goes we can't help unless we know what she did. People do drift apart no matter how long they knew one another. Also, maybe this person depending on what they did shouldn't be a part of your life and discovering this is a good thing. Will your reconcile? Perhaps with age and time or if whatever this is boils over.
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Hi. I am 22/F. I've been in an abusive relationship for 3 years of which I have a 2y old daughter of whom I have full custody. I broke up with my ex a month ago. I moved back to my mother, but I've started talking to my best friend(also my ex's best friend) and we just clicked. It's difficult to live with my mother because I am not used to it seeing that I lived with my ex for so long. And we also get along better if we don't see each other often. So I want to move in with him, but how do I tell my mom I am moving in with my ex's friend?
My mom is a difficult person and gets offended easily. I am scared to tell her because I do not want to disappoint her, but I really want to move. Please help? (link)
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This sounds like a horrible mistake that is about to be made. I wouldn't move in with him especially if he is friends with your ex. That situation will forever rear its head.
You may not like your mother's ways but she knows what isn't right and what you have to steer clear of so your daughter benefits and comes first. She may get offended easily but it's not a good idea to hide things because she will find out and it will be worse.
You describe her as "difficult" but it could be that she decides against something you are doing because of her life experience. She has to push back at you sometimes to get her point across.
You may be 22-years-old but there is a lot you don't know about surviving, men and parenting that she does. I think living with her is a good idea while repairing your life and learning how to move on. Remember your daughter comes first and introducing a new man into her life and one that is your ex's nest friend may be a bad idea.
I see this as ending badly and likely with you having to move back out to your mother's place. There's nothing saying you can't date someone but living with them is a whole other ball game with obligations as well as financial issues that can set you way back. I would advise not to do it.
Discuss this with your mom but I think you'll come to the decision it's not right for you. If you have any reason or gut feeling that it isn't a good choice know that you are right.
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I am a 19 years old girl studying Computer Science at an average university in a small country. Education has always been a priority for me. I really want to become a great professional and I am happy and ready to do a lot for that. I know that I should work hard, do my university homework properly, do more than just the homework, do internships, be active, volunteer, and so on. I know that it is also about the little things. it's about how I spend my day, about whether I have enough will-power to solve that one problem, read that one page, learn those 10 new English words every day before I go to sleep. Those little things will add up in the end, they will become big after a year and that's how I will be different from an average professional. Recently I have been considering transferring to another university abroad because I constantly think my current university is not going to make me the specialist I aspire to be. But sometimes I think that it is more about me than the university, that I should do self-learning, that it's only 4 years of study and I will learn the majority of my skills while working after graduation. I am in such an uncertain situation, I am afraid that if I stay I will regret in the future, and If I try transferring I have a fear of not being admitted, wasting time and money on applications, TOEFl etc., and if I do get admitted I am afraid it will be worse or maybe not worth the finances and effort. Could I have some advise on what I should do in general to become an excellent computer scientist? The transfer thing is very complicated and depends on many factors, but could you tell me what kind of environment, what level of hard work and difficulty do I need? I constantly feel that there are some things I should be doing that I am not aware of, that I am missing on something... (link)
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I think what you are missing is the ability to just relax and let things unfold for you. Often things we keep pushing for or worrying over in our life consume us.
The best thing to do is relax and understand first of all that you are doing your absolute best at school and learning and absorbing all you can. Everything you are doing now is exactly how you become a better professional and ready to achieve in real world scenarios.
I think what you are alluding to as a university is akin to a college in the U.S. or something small rather than big. Universities here typically teach a ton of theory that is useful but don't teach you hands on how to be X,Y, A professional.
What you need is a program with internships and one that puts you in the field from the get go giving you everything you need to succeed. Then you can go after the university here or abroad and get the theory. It's all about what you have now and can apply.
You might find yourself living abroad and going to school but it seems like it's NOT the right thing for you to be doing for now. Although the program you are in now has shortcomings and what program doesn't at least you fit in and are learning. If there's something you are dissatisfied with at least you can talk to someone about it.
When you venture abroad you really need to know a lot about where you are going and have the life skills to resolve problems especially big ones you'll run into that your parents who are thousands of miles away can't fix.
Fear is what is driving you and at the core of what you are doing to the fact it's chocking you and it's all circuits are overloaded. You have to understand that failing at something at least once is how you make yourself better.
You have to see that study, study, study and not doing anything else is harming you. You do have to study but it shouldn't be your life and on mind 24/7/365. Find what makes you relaxed and happy and you'll ind yourself excelling.
It sounds for now that TOEFL, applications and spending a lot of money is NOT the right thing for you. Focus on the program you are in and doing well and understand all you can do is your best. Anything uncertain is something not to do right now. Your gut is telling you it's not right.
I think what you could benefit a lot from is finding a therapist you can talk to about problems that are bothering you and dragging you down so that you can deal with them and progress. You have to let this stuff out and have it go.
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hey! I am a 12 year old girl. Last night my mom and I were talking about stuff and the conversation made it’s way over to s*x. she said a bunch of things and I found out that my parents still have s*x.
I’m honestly not sure WHY I’m so freaked out about this, but it makes me really uncomfortable to think that they still do it. I didn’t really know that people do it for joy, and to show love to the other spouse, I just thought that god made it to make a baby. Once you have that baby, it was done and done. Haha I was wrong i guess.
So I guess my dad uses a condom or whatever that is, and that freaks me out. Just thinking ab it freaks me out to be honest.
I cried myself to sleep last night while listening to Jules Leblanc :) I shouldn’t be this upset about it and I honestly don’t know why I am. It’s just weird thinking about that the bed that I’ve sat on many times before my parents were having s*x.
I am still upset about it and I just need to figure out why. I don’t want to think about this day and night, 24/7/365. any ideas?
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I have news for you your grandparents are having sex. Sex is normal and healthy and in your parent's case signs of a strong relationship which believe me not a lot of adults have or still do 12 years later.
I think the problem is not with them having sex but with your hangups of it being gross or dirty or something they shouldn't be doing. That's something you need to work on. It really shouldn't freak you out but now is the time to think about why. Does it really make any difference? I mean you weren't aware of it before but now they've been open about it?
It doesn't make them dirty or awful so you have to put it in perspective. Love doesn't always have to be present when it comes to sex but is in this case and that's a great thing.
I think you need to talk to them about what you know and don't know about sexuality and see that it's an okay topic and thing to know about. No doubt they have questions and concerns about the kind of education you have about it or aren't receiving. Talk about being freaked out or embarrassed about being told.
Really, there's nothing to worry about but it's indicating it's time to really have open dialogue with them about it. There's a reason they told you about this to let you know that everybody at some time will do this and it's natural. They want you to be as open as they are being with you about the topic and what you have picked up about it on your own. That's all no doubt.
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So my best friend is moving to a new house and it's not optional, I really need some advice because there are only two house options that she can choose from in our town and she doesn´t want to move to one of the houses that she can choose from! Of the other house she likes cancels, she´ll have to move to a house beside a barn. The poor girl is traumatized and I really need some help! I need this advice before February 1st and I also need this because if she moves, I´ll lose MY only best friend! I NEED this advice for her! Please help! (link)
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It's a situation that you can't dictate nor can she choose. While it's past Feb. 1st and her parents ultimately choose based on their financial and other circumstances nobody said you had to lose a friend.
If you live in the same town you might not see her
as often as before but will still have the ability to she one another and can reach one another by car or transit. You just have to adapt to the situation and point this out to her.
As far as her being traumatized you need to drive home that this is a new opportunity and adventure where a lot of good things can happen and new people and things to explore and that the world isn't ending. Tell her what I told you about still being friends and have your parents and hers talk to her about this. I'm sure it will all work out in the end.
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Gosh, being bi is so confusing and it tears me apart thinking about it, my friends, a lot of them are homophobic. It sucks to know that even if I ever gather up the courage to come out, I’ll be alone. I don’t want to be involved w/homophobic people because I’m literally bi and also, i have a moral compass. But I’m too scared to be alone without them. Especially hazel, she’s the closest to me but because of “her religion” (in her words) she’s one of those “I dOn’T aGrEe wItH thE lIfeStylE” but it’s so complicated. Is it just religion? Is that even a justifiable reason? But it fricking sucks knowing my closest friends of 4 yrs would leave me just because I like girls (and boys).... I guess in the end, my question is as simple as, what should I do? (link)
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Be who you are and know who are deep down and don't be miserable for a second. If others can't accept you tough shit. They are the one's with the problem not you and they'll have to learn on their own damn time. If you don't do that you will be miserable and dragged down by idiots.
This is a test really where you have to look inward and discover yourself and what you don't want or need. Then you must cast out people who aren't really friends and are judgmental and seek the support of those where it doesn't matter. There are tons of support groups for LGBTQ youth out there where you can make friends and get support if you reach out.
There are a lot of people out there that call themselves Christians and are fanatical about it but have no idea about God or following Jesus's teaching and principles. He never cast annyone out but rather healed them instead.
Hazel and her family haven't figured this out. Quite frankly she's someone who doesn't think for herself and is following what other adults in her life believe of have taught her to.
Neither she not anyone else has to "agree with your lifestyle" or being gay or bisexual at all. It's about you and not them. If she's a true friend it doesn't matter. All that matters is a label that she didn't know about until you told her. If she changes towards you trust me you don't need her around. It's not a justifiable thing.
The thing about this is that you and you alone have the decision and choice over who you tell about your sexual orientation because it's nobody else's business. School may not be the best place to be out as unfortunately it puts a target on your back for every bigot and homophobic person there.
You really don't have to come out to anyone unless you really feel it necessary to do so. You can be friends with these people and their not knowing but if you think they'll only ditch you later don't. Life is too short to spend a second of it being miserable.
You really have to do some house cleaning her and discover who you are, where you are going, what you need and whether certain people should be in your circle. That's hard to do.
There is no reason you can't find friends or have them if these people don't work out. There's always clubs, student council, theater or other places you can turn.
As I mentioned there are groups for LGBTQ youth that you should research for support and can be found on the Internet.
While you don't need therapy it wouldn't hurt to find a teacher or school counselor or child/youth worker at school to talk about what is going on and get support there too.
Once you establish that support network there will be nothing in your way and confidence will develop. You just need to take that first step forward. You are going to find lasting friends. Don't fret.
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im 15 years old girl i use cucumber in my pussy and they have bleeding but my pussy shape is normal now..
so i lost my vagina that mean
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Masturbation is normal as is curiosity. It's important that you NEVER use anything that isn't meant for vaginal insertion. This is why you had bleeding and discomfort. Items such as cucumbers aren't meant for this purpose. You can cause harm to your genitals.
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