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Beginning Meditation
I've had several really cool, deep experiences in meditation, yet I find I don't do it very often and can't force myself to do it under any circumstances. I want meditation to be a bigger part of my life, but there's this real part of my brain that feels...pained by it? Even when I think about it, something in my mind is like "NO." Does anyone know what this is or could be? Is it a sign that I shouldn't meditate, or is it something that can be overcome?
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Meditation can be a healthy thing to do. Many people have had experiences similar to yours, including me. Years ago, I undertook transcendental meditation (all the rage, then, because of the Beetles!) I,too, couldn't sit still, had distracting, intrusive thoughts, etc. Its all part of the experience, especially for new people.
WHEn I met with a trainer, everything was FINE ! Go figure! If you wish to pursue this, it might be wise to try and to do the same thing.
Otherwise, there are many roads to Rome, and you could always switch to trying something else.
Time with my cat works....!
Good wishes, ~ Dr. Stephanie
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I am currently reading a book about Spirituality around the world, and things it has in common. The author had experiences personally with people who had feelings like yours, of not wanting to do something they knew was something they wanted to do in life or do more of. Meditation is a good thing. So while the other things mentioned could be the cause, according to the book I'm reading, it could be something more. An Angelic being would not stop you from meditating as it is a good way to train the brain to hear from God. Its healthy for your whole self, to relax, calm down, and be more clear minded. I think all people who've done it have struggled at one point or another.
Since you said, "Even when I think about it, something in my mind is like "NO." that made me think of a couple stories in the book where the author began to be able to see things in the spiritual realm, things our human eyes don't usually see and the people who reported having no desire to attend their choice of religious activities or hear a voice inside saying its not worth doing or a stop! don't do it! kind of message, were people who were plagued by the opposite of Angelic beings but dark entities whose sole job is creating chaos in your life or keeping you from seeking to grow spiritually.( Don't worry, this has nothing to do with 'being possessed by evil spirit'). The author silently prayed for these entities to leave them alone and next time they saw each other, the people who had issues before, were now happily going on with their spiritual growth, no longer apathetic to doing spiritual things, one of them which can be meditation.
I have had more success as of late myself, not because I don't want to, but my problems were my mind straying and thinking of other things. Lately I started listening for the humming sound inside my head while laying in bed at night, the most quiet part of a day so you aren't distracted by louder noises nearby. I don't notice it until I focus and try to hear it. My guess is its the sound of blood going through all the vessels in my head and thats where my ears are so if I focus on trying to hear it, in no time I do hear it and it seems to be the only thing helping me to learn how to stop my mind from wandering and thinking of tasks to be done or how the day went, etc...
Maybe it will work for you. If you feel something other than yourself is responsible for you not wanting to start, yes it can be overcome. Meditation is not something that is a gift to only a few or something new agey and not helpful because it is good for everyone, including you. You may want to pray for direction on who to see to get help. I will pray too. You can try the preacher if you attend church but not all people attending or running a church have the answers as they have not delved into that part of being a spiritual being yet. But there are several types of people called 'lightworkers' who are sensitive to hearing from God, being able to sense what is wrong in a person and heal it, or they hear messages from God for a person. One such lady came to a church retreat when I was way younger, and I was confused by the fact that she knew things and was always right and very effective. However the only people I'd known of, of whom some are genuine and not quacks, are called Psychics. She didnt label herself a psychic, just another child of God, with a special gift.However I have thought and researched long about that and I hear things from God too at times, not consistently yet I have never thought of myself as psychic. So if nothing else works, you may want to seek out a psychic by asking around. People who know of a genuine one, not a quack who pretends, will tell you. Hope this is helpful for you. I will pray also.
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Perhaps and this is out of left field that you feel guilt or shame over something it's brought out or a fear of what it could. Usually, when you force something regardless of what it is in your life or overall experience it never turns out right.
Instead of forcing it mediate when fully relaxed and stop putting pressure on yourself to have this huge experience every time. It doesn't really work that way. The more you throw out the urge to force it and just do it when it feels right to the more you will get from it.
You are pushing it to be this huge part of your life which it may in fact become but must approach it gradually so it builds naturally into something that is a big part of who you are.
You just might have a mental block surrounding it that you have to figure out but the whole idea of meditation is calmness and letting things unfold. Forcing it or trying to do it constantly is a problem and why your mind and body are saying woah, no not now. Too much of a good thing etc.
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