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Should I tell my friend I have social anxiety
My friend invited me out and let me know that she was bringing another friend. From the beginning, I let her know I was an introvert and even that I prefer one on one. But, she’s cool and she has other friends so I can understand why she wants to bring us all together. But, I felt uncomfortable around them not because they weren’t nice. It’s because I feel anxious around new people. I also feel I couldn’t relate to what they were talking about. Like what they thought was funny I didn’t find any humor. They just seem to click and if I wasn’t there I think it would not made a difference. I’m someone prefer one on ones but I realize people have other friends. My question is do I let my friend know I have social anxiety. Should I feel bad that I don’t want to hang out in a group. They were all extroverted too. I’m introverted and I’m shy. I’m trying to work on it because I want to be able to hang out with my friends friends in a group setting. I’ve done it before with other friends. It is possible but today I just maybe felt like I did fit in with the group.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Absolutely! It's obvious that your friend likes you and wants you to get on with her cohorts. The reason they all seem to click and you feel out of the loop is because they have had all these years to become a tight group and you haven't.
Extrovert or not has nothing to do with your ability to make and keep lasting friends. You don't have anything less than they do in that ability. You have a lot of the qualities people like.
You should tell your friend that you suffer from a medical condition which is an anxiety issue and it's difficult to socialize with people. Tell her you want to connect with her friends but that it feels overwhelming sometimes to be around new people, sounds etc.etc. She should understand and make things easier on you and for this group to accept you.
Being honest and blunt about it is best as it helps you and everyone else to adapt and become comfortable. They might think that you don't like them otherwise. You have nothing to lose by being truthful. You will be fine if you do that.
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I was like you in school and it never occurred to me to say something. Then again, social anxiety either wasn't recognized yet when I was that age, or blindly taught to not exist. So I couldn't tell my friends. And I know how it felt to feel like the odd man there, with having no clue what others were talking about. I started as an introvert and was shy. End of HS, I decided I wanted to be an introvert like Dad, as that would be helpful in being an adult. Mom was introverted, never changed. I was too uncomfortable with how I felt so I set out to change that. Telling your friend might help, so do that. However you'll have to update as things occur as to what you are and are not comfortable with. Now realize that your friends will be making accomedations for you so you don't have to change at all. If you ever get to a place where you are ready to grow out of your anxiety, without medication, so that other people don't have to worry about if they are doing something that's too hard for you. I am not being mean here. You must take the path that you felt most important for you to be on right now. Then if you ever want the recipe I followed at my own pace to overcome my social anxiety, let me know and I will share that with you. If you request it, go to my column and choose the button to write me from there.
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