kooka-burra's advice column

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Q: Okay, there's this chick I know, who was kind of my friend. Here's where the problem starts. I heard that she thought I was annoying (but she still thought I was cool), so I backed off a bit and didn't hang around her a lot. NOW, she's in a fight with a really good friend of mine because she (the mean girl) called her (my good friend) a b*tch. I also heard that she wanted to rip up a card I made her for her birthday (but, being the great person she is, she just threw it on the ground when I wasn't around). I have to go to her birthday party soon, but she's so mean... This party is also for another person (who's a good, nice person). How can I cope with this girl being mean? I'm sorry this is so long, but I will rate! Thanks so much!

I think thats it's a good idea to stay out of her way. This girl has some problems that she needs to take care of, if there are alot of people at this party then I don't think you'll have a big problem. If there are very few people at this party then you could have some problems, talk to the "birthday girl" about it. And your other option is to tuff the party out. If it's really going badly then leave early.

Good luck,
~kooka

Q: I have a friend. He really likes me. He doesnt live by me but we still keep in touch. I dont really like him. Whenever i tell him he asks me to be his girlfriend. I told him i like some1 else and now hes gunna be that kid up. How do i tell him that so he will believe me ? I am 13 and a girl

Tell him that you like this guy and you really don't want him to beat him up. tell him that you just like him as a friend and nothing more, he'll get it through his head sooner or later. if he does keep saying that he'll beat this kid up, maybe you should think about looseing contact with him. But most likely he wont beat this kid up and is just showing off.

good luck,
~kooka

Q: I told my best friend that he shouldnt go out with this girl because she cheats on guys. Also, she knew i liked him and was gunna rub it in my face. I told him i didnt want to be his friend if he went out with her. He went out with her anyway. They broke up and he still likes her. She doesnt like him though , i do . He told me to stop but i cant. How can i get him to understabd.

your first mistake is telling him that you wont be his friend if he went out with that girl. People don't like to be told what to do, almost every person would do what they wanted anyway. Just because you and the other girl are having probelms doesn't meen you should use him. Second, I think he made it pretty clear that he doen't want to go out with you. Maybe it's just a crush and you'll get over him. Maybe not, wait it out and don't pressure him. Be yourself and be a friend, maybe he'll turn around.

Q: hey my name is Ashley and i'm a feamle(of course) and i'm 14 yrs. old heres my question for anybody with good advice!!!

I like my best friends ex!!! Heres the scoop... they broke up because my best friend was confused and she cheated on him. Well now(two months later) she starts telling me she now knows what she was missing and she really did love him and she wants desperately to go with him again. Now i've been talking to him since they broke up because he needed a friend cuz he really liked her but she cheated on him.(yea i kno guys actually have feelings...well at least the good ones) and i'm starting to like him now i mean he's the perfect boyfriend he's cute, hilarious, loving, i don't know he's just soOoOo great!! the thing is that my best friend who i've been friends with for almost 11 yrs. still "loves" him i really really think she'll be so mad if he askes me out or if i ask him. I dont know what to do cuz i dont want her to be mad at me but i dont get very many guys nowadays and i really like him and he told me i was hot yesterday please help me!!

Luv,

~~~ASHLEY~~~

P.S. i rate high

I really think that you should let your friend and her ex work things out. It does sound like your friends will be mad at you, so do you want 11 years of friendship ruined because of a guy? Wait it out for awhile. Maybe you can talk to your friend and tell her how you feel. If shes a good friend then she'll listen and you too will work this out together. Even if you don't end up dating this guy, you've gained a friend.

Hope it all works out for you!

~kooka

Q: I have MSN and my mother is the "Primary account holder", I.E. pays the bill. Well for some odd reason I have forgotten my password, I don't know how since I use it every day but I can't remember it. I was able to get online fine till last night. I have it marked for automatic sign in and remember password. Well I decided to see if I was useing the right password and unclicked that little box. So now I have to use my mothers name to sign in. I have also forgotten my secret question answer, I went on to the "help" thingy for MSN and it says if I'm not the primary account holder and have forgotten the secret question answer then I have to call custumer sevice. I'm actually affraid to call because I don't know what I'm going to have to do/say. Is it a automatic voice thing? does anyone know and can they tell me if there is actaully way to break into my own account? I doubt there is but it's worth asking to see.

Advice is welcome if you speak/spell right.

Try calling custumer service. Whats the worst thing that can happen? If you don't get your account back then try hotmail, it's pretty much the same thing and it's free!

Q: I have had a cough for 6 months after i had the cold the cough stayed i have had anti biot from the doctor but this has not stopped it when i cough i start to gag and can not get breath it is as if i am chocking.

go to the doctor again and tell him/her that the anti biot isn't working. Or find a different doctor. Make sure you tell them all your symtoms.

Q: okay so my hair is black and i wanted to die it brown but whichever product i tried didnt work out.. only my roots turned out medium brown and then once it gets towards my tips.. it starts to fade into black. but what am i doing wrong?

Did you make sure that you bleached it? With your hair so dark, if you want to dye it any colour thats lighter then your going to have to bleach it. Go to the drugmart and find some colouring that comes with a bleaching kit.

Q: this may be a dumb question but how do you bleach your hair??
plez help ill rate

Well if you want to colour your hair you need to bleach it. If you to a drugstore you can find boxes for colouring your hair and most of the time there will be a bleaching kit. Be careful though, bleaching your hair can damage it alot, so if you like your hair don't do it that often.

Q: ok my mom like dosent trust me 1 bit at all and i really need to ask a questio on here but.. my mom puts like these tracker things on my computer she can read everything i do on here anything i type and stuff like that anywhere i go on the computer.. so .. i want to ask everyone a question on here but if i asked my mom would read it and i would get in sooo much trouble i really need an answer thought but i still dont want to get in trouble

What did you do to make your not trust you? Was it something you did on the computer? Ask her what you can do to help her trust you.
AKA, be really really good. She might trun around.

Good luck
~kooka

Q: Theres a guy I like. He goes to my school. Is in my grade, two of my classes, ect. ect.

But, he knows I like him, and doesn't like me back. He's told me multiple times. But lately, he's been acting like I'm okay. Usually he acts like he hates me. He even IMed me first on AIM. Which is like, a first. Ever. We've been able to talk more, and we're getting along pretty well.

The bad side is, well, I've liked him for so long, now that he's finally maybe liking me, I don't feel exactly the same. I'm in this odd stage where, I do and don't like him. I mean, he's hurt me so much, but I feel like I love him. I can't control my feelings.

So what I would like to know is:
Do you think he likes me?
What should I do if he asks me out?
and
Should I take action?(ME asking him out)

I have NO idea what to do.
(13/f)

Just because you to are talking more often doesn't meen that he likes you just yet. I think that you should wait a while, if he starts to flirt then go for it. But most likely he wants to be friends, which is fine too. In the past he has made it quite clear that he doesn't want to be in a relationship. Tell him that hes sending you mixed messages and ask him were he stands. Also tell him that your pretty much over him so he knows were you stand too.

Best of luck
~kooka

Q: I'm 15, female and I have been dating my bf for almost a month now. I am a cutter but none of my friends know about it. My bf and I were talking about one of our friends being a cutter and he asked me if I was. I lied to him and told him I wasn't. Now I feel terrible about lying to him. I afraid of how he will react if I tell him. Do you think I should tell him the truth?

I do think you should tell him. If you to are close then he can help you stop cutting. Once you tell him the truth you could feel alot better. Just tell him that you didn't know what he would do if you told him about your cutting, and thats why you lied. Most likely he will help you stop cutting. Also even if he doesn't want to help, you need to find some one you trust and tell them. Cutting is bad for you and you need to stop.

Q: Ok i was thinking of having casino night be the theme of my sweet 16 party but my dad doesnt like the idea because we cant gamble until we are 21..so it isnt "appropriate." What do you guys think? there wouldnt be gambling or anything at the party..just some really cool party decorations. (if your interested in looking at them check out party411.com) Maybe some card playing and a pool table would be at the party..but no gambling or anything..i just thought it would be a cool idea. What do you think?

I really think it would be fun. Maybe your dad doesn't understand that there will be no gambling. Sit him down talk to him, maybe you can get another grown up to get your dad to say OK. I'm sure he'll say it's OK.
sounds like it's going to be a really fun party.
~kooka

Q: its about spring...and summer is about to come....i want 2 start wearing halter tops and tube tops...the thing is my back and my chest!!....i have real back acne scars mostly on my back....n its starting 2 get worse on my chest!...does anyone know anything that i can help cure this??....is there anything that can clear up scars...or is there just stuff to help frum preventing them...

if you are that concerned then you should see a dermatoligist, they might be able to give you some kind of treatment.

~kooka

Q: Hey my girlfriend broke up with me like 3 weeks ago but i still love her so much she came over my friends house last night with my friends X and we had like 30 ppl there and she knew all of them but she only talked to me i still love her with all my heart but i dont know what to do should i ask her back out??

I rate high if its good

you can't base what you think her feelijng might be on one night. she may have only been talking to only you because she felt comfortable talking to you. but she might want to get back to together. wait a while and see how she act towards you. is she flirting? or ignoring you? do you get the vibe she just wants to be friends? if you do then leave it. if she is flirting than thats a signal. you're youngt and in high school i assume, you'll find someone else. most high school relationships don't work out in the long run. so if you don't get back together dont freak out and think you've lost the love of your life. you'll find someone else i promise.

~kooka

bio

I am a 14 year old girl in a big city. I live off other peoples drama so i end up giving alot of advice. Love vargas girls, knitting and many other things. Feel free to write me any time at kooka_burra@hotmail.com