Hello, call me Abby =] I'm eighteen and a senior in high school this year. I've always had great advice, I'm just not so great at following it =P Feel free to ask me anything, I'll do my best to give you an answer.
Gender: Female
Age: 18
Member Since: February 10, 2007
Answers: 962
Last Update: May 3, 2012
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I have had feelings for my friend, we'll call him Rob, for a very long time. When I first met him, it seemed like he wasn't interested in me at all. He is a shy person in real life, and I haven't talked to him that much in person. Over Instant Messenger, he is completely different. We've talked for a long time, and we seem to flirt over it. Reccently, he went away on a skiing trip so I hadn't talked to him in a while. When he signed on, he was SO excited to talk to me.
Now the thing is, whenever I mention to him about other guys, he gets really defensive. I'll tell him, "This guy just commented my picture and said I was hot." And he'll say, "Well I commented one of your pictures before too." He does that all the time, and always seems to get really protective if other guys talk to me. Weird, because at the beginning of the year, I dropped hints to him, and I think he understood, but he would usually just brush it off. I think it was because he was very shy when he first met me, but now he actually starts conversations with me. He also has told me: "alot of other girls are annoying, so I blocked them."
Here's my other problem. I have a fake boyfriend. Weird, I know. But I didn't want people to think I was pathetic, so I got a picture of me and my guy cousin and told everyone it was my boyfriend. I am very miserable, having to constantly be an actress, with my fake boyfriend. I want to know if I should "break up" with my "boyfriend" in case my friend 'Rob' likes me that way. I don't want to "break up" with my fake boyfriend because, then I'll feel alone, and weird, and stupid if 'Rob' doesn't like me like that. I don't know if I want to lose my "boyfriend" quite yet.
Do you think 'Rob' likes me? What can I say to 'Rob' to let him know that I really like him? And what should I do about the whole fake boyfriend thing?
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It sounds like Rob has been dropping hints about liking you!
But this Instant messenger relationship wont lead to anywhere good. Its great you can talk on there, but a relationship in cyberspace means nothing in the real world. If you cant feel comfortable around Rob and be able to talk in the real world, than its not worth it. Your fake boyfriend is better than that.
So talk to rob-in person. Your fake boyfriend can be a ice breaker, actually. After talking for a while and getting into a deep convo, bring it up. Tell him it embarrases you, but you didnt want to feel pathetic, or alone. Tell him you wish you had a REAL boy friend. Look him straight in the eyes when you tell him that. Now its his turn :)
Good luck!
-Abby
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My boyfriend's birthday is coming up. I want to make a big fuss over him but I am kind of broke. Does anyone have any ideas? (link)
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What I made for a special guy was a "treasure chest". I went to AC Moore, bought a wooden treasure chest (pretty cheap) and painted it, added cute touches, and filled it with inside jokes, meaningful items, letters, poems, notes, and other special things we shared. He really LOVED it, and loved that I took the time to make it. Anyone can buy a gift, but it really really shows if you put effort into it.
Or, if your really crafty, you can make a shadow box. My friend made that for me and its really the most favorite thing in my room, and its the first thing I'd grab in a fire. All you need is a frame, foam pieces, pictures, and other artsy stuff like paper, stickers, cut-outs, and pretty much anything that can be glued down. Its hard to describe, but if you want to see a picture of mine just contact me :)
-Abby
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my skin gets irritated really easily! Like I was blow drying my banks and thne i was working on every where else and when I was done I tied my hair up and my whole for head was red!
And I ate like all these stuff that's good for your skin for my student card and my face was clear and every thing and thne right nefore my picture got tooken, in the mirror I could see a lil red area beside my mouth!
Anything I can do? (link)
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I think you just have sensitive skin. I have a similair issue. Just touching my skin makes it turn red, and sometimes I walk around with red blotches on me! They usually go away fast, but I dont know of any way to stop it. Maybe talk to a dermatologist.
-Abby
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Can anyone name a sun block that doesn't have a scent and is very cheap?
I never wear sun block or sun lotion cuz they smell bad but now I need to because I heard that if you dont wear some on your face then it's sorta like cooking cheese on a frying pan wear it starts to boil up and you get massive pimples! (link)
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Go to a drugstore and find sunblock that is meant for your face and is oil free. Some are even moisurizing. Or you can get foundation with sunblock built in.
I dont think the sun gives you pimples, but extreme sun exposure can give you sun blisters.
-Abby
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I am from Connecticut and for the longest time i have been looking for coach knockoff purses for a low price near where i live. I know that they sell them in new york in chinatown, but thats not exactly near me. If anyone knows somewhere in Connecticut that has good coach knockoffs please please please tell me, or if anyone knows any web sites that are good and has them for under $100. Let me know! =) (link)
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I dont know about knockoffs, but you can order actual coach bags off the site for under 100 (like their wristlets)
-Abby
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is it normal for a 13 year old (normal weight, 5'7) to be a bra size 34 DD?
when does one stop growing? (link)
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My friend who just turned 14 is basically the same. Mainly, girls stop growing a lot after they get their periods, and wont have any major growth spurts after that. Than again, puberty is strange and you'll never be able to tell whats going to happen.
-Abby
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i saw this on some advice that you gave to someone:
"Maybe get a manicure and pedicure, but you can do it yourself (make sure you use a pumice stone to get nice and smooth)"
are you supposed to use the pumice stone right on your nails like a buffer or on your skin to make it soft??
thanks!!!
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Pumice stone is meant mainly for your feet to scrub dead skin off, like rough areas such as your heels. Dont use them on your fingernails, because I imagine that would hurt! (lol) But you can use it with body wash or exfoliating wash and scrub areas that need TLC.
Good luck!
-Abby
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19/F
Ok this seems long and soap-opera-ish but please bear with me. I’ve gotten rid of some of the details to make it shorter but please tell me if it isn’t clear enough. And please don't rant at me about being a cheating b**** or anything. I know I am a bad bad person. I just need you to tell me what to do.
Nate has always been the typical "rich bad boy" type. He gets a pack mentality when he is with his boys so he’s labeled an official ***hole. He's had a pretty bad past and when you get him alone, he’s different. He and I go a few years back when I wasn't into the party scene, and it got around that he "wanted" me. I shot that down and he gave up. I've been intrigued by him (i.e. had a crush on him) and we always used to exchange looks all the time at school and parties and I could feel the sizzles (but wasn’t sure it was mutual). Only last year did we start talking a bit inside and outside school. Then I finished school and didn’t see him.
In May, I met Blake. He’s ridiculously good-looking, the sweetest guy ever, and a cook. I didn’t think he was into me so I backed off then recently, Blake started showing interest in me and I was thrilled. We were perfect for each other, our life goals and views were the same, we had minor arguments sometimes, which ended with practically no resentment on either end, and we always made up quickly. It was the perfect relationship. I was still a virgin but he understood because he had only been with one chick (his year-long girlfriend in grade 11).
End of last year, Nate and I ended up at a party together. I was hammered out of my mind and we had sex in a bedroom. It was harsh to the point that he did it, shoved me away and left. I was broken after. Eventually, I told Blake and he was mostly sad for me and he did whatever he could to make me feel better. Including sex and it was just like the rest of our relationship, comfortable.
Then one day, Nate showed up at my house after I saw him at the mall and went home all shaken up. We had sex. We have had sex about five times now altogether. Usually it’s when I’m vunerable. It’s pretty much casual sex but it is explosive as in really really hot, stuff I thought didn’t exist outside novels. Blake and I haven’t even come close, even though there is some sizzle, it isn’t comparable. Told Blake once and he was mad but he came back and told me he’d still have me and he didn’t understand. Usually Nate just has sex with me and sticks around for a while and leaves but one time, he actually stayed after and kissed my face and stuff.
This is what confuses me. Blake and I are perfect for each other and it’s not a completely devoid of sexual drive either but when I’m with Nate, it feels right like it’s exactly where I belong.
I’m just so afraid of hurting Blake. I want to stay with him but at the same time, I feel like puking when I think about what a disgusting unfaithful slut I’m being. And I’m pretty sure Nate doesn’t want a relationship. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t want to look back twenty years from now and regret it. I know that bad boy’s can’t be tamed but I know his history and I kind of still ache for Nate but Blake is just perfect.
Help? (link)
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First off, be a little happy. You've got two guys at your disposal. Putting the cheating and random sex aside-
It seems like you have a great relationship/friendship with Blake. But that doesnt mean its love. Love makes your heart flip whenever you see that person. Love is an undeniable attraction that draws you to that person. Its an ever-burning passion for someone that never truly goes away if you are meant to be. Some people say opposites attract, and you and Blake dont sound elike opposites. Just because you have things in common and usually agree, doesn't mean you are perfect for each other. Its the friction that makes things more worthwhile sometimes. Are you IN love with Blake? Or do you love him? There two different things.
Im also not saying you love Nate either. Its hard to seperate love and lust. You are obviously attracted to Nate, but do you have an actual relationship? Can you talk to him and confide in him? Does he understand you? Is he ready for a relationship, or does he just want sex. Sounds like you have to talk to Nate.
Nate sounds like party boy who sleeps around a bit and isnt ready to be commited. But if you see a great person in him, than go for it.
Blake seems like a soulmate instead of a lover. You guys have things in common, dont argue much, and hes extremely understanding. He's really attached to you, but some people want to stay with their soulmates and others like the sparks and challenge you get with an opposite.
What do you love better?
You have the best of both worlds here, but you have to decide whats best for your heart and not nessecarily for you. Talk to both guys. Search inside yourself I(an advice columnist wont help you that much). You cant stay stuck between them, because its going to hurt all three of you in the end.
Good luck to you and your love life,
-Abby
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hi!! so... i have these girls threatening 2 beat the crap out of me for stupid reasons. what should i do? (link)
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Girls can be bitches, cant they? (lol!) Its probably an empty threat. Anyone can SAY they'll kick your ass, but most likely they wont. But if they keep persisting, you really have to step it up. I mean verbally, of course. Physically fighting is dangerous, and you could get arrested for doing it in a public place (let alone what'd you get from your parents afterwards)
Speak your mind. Tell them to get a life instead of harrasing you, because it doesnt make them seem cool at all and niether does fighting.
If you really feel they are a threat to you, travel in packs. There less likely to try and fight if your with peopole. Stay close to the building at school or in any place you go so there is a adult around.
If they start really harrasing you, talk to your parents, guidance counselor, teacher, etc. If you really need help, please dont be afraid to ask. People have DIED because they let "bullies" get to them.
Good luck and stay strong,
-Abby
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im 19/f and my husband is 22/m. we have been dating for about 5 years and have been sexually active for about the same amount of time.i want to get pregnant but my husband does not want one. we've tlked about having kids before but he's scared because he does not want a girl. i really want a baby and i am fully capable of taking are of it, i can support it financially. what should i do? how can i convince him? (link)
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You both sound a bit young for a child. Many people rush into parenthood after marriage and find that later they wished they had waited. Girls want to feel maternal and have an all american family, and guys sometimes think it is just the next step.
Enjoy your years. Don't run right into parenthood, because that doesnt mix with friends, partying, and all the things you can do while your young.
Take time and think about it. See if your both ready to give up your current lifestyle. You'll be happy you did. If your still ready, talk to your husband. Tell him how deeply you want a child, and that no matter what sex it is your sure he'll love him completely. List the pros and cons and hopefully you can reach an agreement.
But, if he isnt ready, he will be soon. Only time will tell.
Good luck to you and your future family :)
-Abby
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my tennis skort is white and see-thru.
what do i wear under it?
its adidas, and has the tight shorts underneath it.
my bikini panties show thru. (and they are white)
so what do i wear that wont show thru? (link)
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Get white biker shorts and just put them over it. It will look like a normal skirt.
Or if you are allowed to add things to your uniform, you can add some style and cut leggings to mid thigh so they come down a bit past your skirt, and have matching accesories to match the leggings. You can change colors and it can become your signature!
-Abby
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this sounds like a completely dumb question, but can you get an orgasm in/around/near your breasts? (link)
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You can deffinitely get feelings in your breasts, but orgasms only occur in the vagina.
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i want a quick make over. umm yeah. i need some advice on some good ideas to do.. some thing i want to work on are like:
-make up (i like the natural look)
-hair (no dying it)
...and anything else you can think of.
just so you know this is what i look like in case that helps:
-blonde (wavy but in a weird way like..it can be flat and wavy which looks good or like kinda big and wavy which is what ever.)
-blue eyed
so yeah thankss! (link)
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You already sound really pretty to me :)
A great way to get a quick makeover:
Hit your local drugstore. Try CVS or Walgreens. First, make yourself feel great. Maybe get a manicure and pedicure, but you can do it yourself (make sure you use a pumice stone to get nice and smooth)
Get a signature fragrance. Whenever you walk by people will smell you and think thats (insert ur name here lol) Guys find it very intriguing :)
Experiment with makeup. Its really not that expensive, and you can even buy sets of eyeshadow that are meant to bring out your eyes. Try that, and plumping lip gloss for the perfect pout, and lengthing mascara. A little make up goes a very long way.
Do a little extra with your hair. Try sheer blonde products (conditioners etc)by John Frieda. You can get them mostly anywhere and they will enhance your already great blonde hair. Either go straight or enhance your waves or try curls.
Add some new accesories to your outfits. Like matching shoes, purse, and belt can make any outfit cuter. New pieces like head bands, jewelry, purses, etc can really liven up your wardrobe.
Even with all these subtle differences, you find people turning their heads to look! It doesn't take much to make a good impression.
Good luck!
-Abby
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15/f
is it wierd that i like porn? like i know a lot of guys that look at porn, but watching other people turns me on. is that natural? (link)
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If you go to a library, you'll find a TON of books on abnormal behavior for kids and teens, but I doubt you'll find many on normal behavior.
The thing is, when were at this age, were all becoming sexually aware and curious. Its not our fault, its the hormones that are constantly raging through are bodies.
So yes, your perfectly normal. I once saw a guy on TV who was turned on by licking girls toes. Feel more normal now?
-Abby
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I have been married for 8 years. My husband and I have grown distant over the past 2 years. I started sleeping with someone which I don't believe in, and still can't believe I did it. I fell in love with this other man and he is the father of my newborn. I still love my husband and do not want to hurt him, but I do not want to hurt the other man either. I believe in God and that he doesn't believe in divorce, and the roots of this are so deep now. I would be happier with the other man, but does that matter at this point? (link)
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I know it seems like you've dug yourself in a deep hole, but you can get yourself out.
Im catholic and believe in god as well, and I also know he always forgives if you are truly sorry.
You know deep down that it is not fair to you, or your husband, or the father of you baby that you stay with your husband. He probably already knows something isn't right, and no matter what he will be hurt by what you've done. Dont prolong it and make matters worse by staying in that relationship. He can't move on with his life if you don't let him go, and holding him from his true potential is not what God would want. Marriage is sacred, but when there is no love in it, its not really considered marriage anymore, is it? By now your marriage is just a piece of paper, not both of your hearts.
Think about your child. Should he/she grow up in a home where the parents do not love each other? Where he/she will be subjected to pain and get a bad example of what love really means?
Do what is really best for you and your child and your husband. End this relationship of lies. Even though it seems hard and painful now, it is the right thing to do.
You can see if you can get an anulment in lieu of divorce, but I dont think divorce is a sin if the marriage that binds the couple is no longer a holy matrimony and is not true.
I am only an online advice columnist and cannot make you do anything, but really, just listen to your heart and not your head. Your head over analyzes and makes things sound logical, but your heart can decide whats best for you when it comes to things like this.
Best wishes to you and your family,
-Abby
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Hi. I've been thinking about going on birth control. Not because I want to have sex, because I'm waiting for marriage. But because I hate my period.
I've had it about 2 years, almost 3. It just got half way regular last year.
I was wondering what type of birth control makes you have fewer periods?
I've heard something about one that only maked you have 3 or so a year. What is it called?
I'm 14, and sex is the furthest thing from my mind, so don't worry about that.
What would I have to go through to get them if my mom says okay? Like how would the doctors appointment go?
How do I ask my mom also?
Thanks. (link)
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Seasonale is a birth control pill that lets you have 4 periods a year compared to 12-13.
If you want to ask your mother, get your facts straight. Hit the website and print out information to show her, showing the pros and the cons. A lot of people dont believe it is medically safe to have 4 periods a year, but doctors have proven that it is.
Tell your mother you find your periods to be hard to handle, and that this would make it a lot more berable. Make sure she doesnt get scared with the word birth control, and let her know you are waiting for marriage.
The doctors appointment should be relatively easy if you go to a doctor for teenagers and not a normal peditrician. (not that there is a difference in intelligence, you just might feel more comfortable with a doctor specializing in people your age with your concerns.) Make a list of questions to ask the doctor and see if you and your mom still think this is the best option for you.
Good luck!
-Abby
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Last week, my mom and I were talking about periods and how mine lasts 7 days and i hate that..blahblahblah...she told me that birth control would make it shorter. and I finally got the courage to say "well I wouldn't mind being put on birth control. I mean..I am getting older."
She said no, because of side effects. I've done my research, there are no major side effects.
I've been with my boyfriend for over a year, and we want to have to sex eventually, but he told me he would prefer I was on the pill.
I don't know what to do about my mom. She gets weirded out everytime I say something about birth control. What should I do?
by the way, I'm 16. don't say i'm "too young to have sex" or anything like that; that's not what I'm asking about. (link)
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Try talking to your mother again, but have a plan. Research birth control pills, and find a couple that you think you would do well on and benefit from. What could make your period easier and give you the best protection?
Get brochures or phamplets on these methods and have a list of pros and cons. Show your mother that you are responsible and know what your doing.
Explain why you want birth control. Make your main point that you want it to make your period more comfortable, but also make it clear that you haven't planned anything, but might consider having sex in the future and want effective protection incase you will ever need it. Let her know your outlook on sex- let it show that you want to make a mature decision to be responsible.If she is really agaisnt this, you can always get condoms.
Good luck!
-Abby
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I would like some advice, if its weird or not:
Since ive been about 16 I have been getting these really strong feelings, about how I really want to become a mom. I mean is that weird, is there something wrong with me? (link)
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No, its perfectly normal :)
With hormones, and actually developing into a women, many woman feel mentally and physcially ready for a child. Its just like how little girls play with baby dolls, they have a maternal desire to nuture one younger and more vunerable than them. This just shows how one day you'll make a great mom :)
-Abby
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I'm soooo shy. I was never like
this until this school year. I
let people walk ALL over me. They
can talk shit about me when i'm right
there + i'll just take it! I'm too shy
to do anything about it. Anything I can
do to kinda become "tougher".. or just
less shy? thanks tonsss :]
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All you need is some confidence.
Sometimes just ACTING like you have confidence makes confidence. So take little steps. When you here somebody trashing you, stand up for yourself. (I'd tell them to shove it, but thats just me lol)
Dont let others take advantage of you. Be nice, but if you really dont feel right about something, let it be heard. Dont fall into peer pressure. Saying no once makes it easier each time. I know its hard to come out of your shell, but if you take it little by little it will become easier and easier.
Good luck!
-Abby
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how can i make ripes in my jeans that actually look like they came like that because i know just cutting it wouldnt look right. so what do i have to do to a pair of jeans that have no ripes in them look like the were made ripped? (link)
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Use scissors to make a rip, but than to make it look like it was worn and came that way, you can use sand paper and rub the rips to fray the thread.
Good Luck,
-Abby
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