Hello, call me Abby =] I'm eighteen and a senior in high school this year. I've always had great advice, I'm just not so great at following it =P Feel free to ask me anything, I'll do my best to give you an answer.
Gender: Female
Age: 18
Member Since: February 10, 2007
Answers: 962
Last Update: May 3, 2012
Visitors: 48350
Main Categories:
Love Life
Friendship
Fashion and Styles
View All
Favorite Columnists
Cux
|
| |
I use to gossip and back bite alot. and even tho i have said sorry to all those i have hrut i know they still hold it against me. im trying really hard not to do it agian. i want to make it up to all those people i hurt and gain back trust. how do i do that? FASTest way possible!? i am trying really hard now. the only thing is when i say sorry they say its fine but they dont eman it. they say stuff behind me about how i was!
sorry about the randomness!
z (link)
|
Its hard to earn back trust once its been lost. If you have already apologized, there is nothing else you can do. Be extra nice, and never gossip/be mean again. The littlest thing can make a person think you dont hold your promises.
Write a letter to each person. Portray how truly sorry you are, and name reasons why you are sorry (such as I lost your trust and our friendship slipped) and make a promise that you will be the best person and friend you can possibly be instead of promising never to do it again. Tell them how it hurts you when they talk about you behind your back (now you understand how they might have felt) and you just want to make things right. Hopefully your friends will appreciate the gesture, and start to gain your trust back. Time heals all wounds.
Good luck!
-Abby
|
|
I feel incredibly suicidal, and I am so close I can taste it. I can't TELL anyone. HELP ME PLEASE. (link)
|
I don't think I can help you in one advice column SO PLEASE! email me as soon as possible. We'll talk, and I promise you'll feel atleast a little better afterward.
please talk to someone before making any desicions that could alter your life completely, or end it. i am here for you, and i hope you take advantage of that.
love,
-Abby
|
|
if i have that fake tanning lotion all over me and i go to a tanning salon will i still get tan? or will it affect it? i was going to wear the fake stuff until my skin actually starts to get tan and then stop. cuz i dont want to be ghostly white for a while until my skin starts to tan. (link)
|
Tanning lotion has nothing to do with going to a tanning salon. It will not affect your skin if you go tanning. It is actually a good idea if you want to be tan before the tanning light sets into your skin (it takes a couple sessions to get good color)
But use a light tanning lotion so your not super dark.
Good luck!
-Abby
|
|
Are all the girls in california lets say in their 20's really crazy. I wouldn't think everyone is but mostly. in a way that they have bad intents on other girls, overly jealous of their boyfriend for example not trusting them enough. Because I know a woman who is from california and i think the reason she is wanting me to suffer is because she has some depression. If so how do I get them to not do bad things to me? (link)
|
One woman is not the deffinition of the whole population. In California, as any other place, the culture is diverse and different if you say live in Kansas. Some things might seem insane to you if its the norm for them. And some people no matter where they live are just mean and immoral people. This girl might be one, but its not all californian girls.
This girl sounds like she has her own problems that she doesnt want to fix, so tries to make herself feel better by putting others down. Dont let ANYONE do that to you.
-Abby
|
well i had a hole in my heart when i was born, but it got fixed and im alright now. but smetimes when my breast hurt i worry if it is the heart or the breast. Well my question what kind feelings do girls get while there breast develope? or breast can hurt when girls get period? its so confusing. is there like different kind of pain?
Thanks! (link)
|
During puberty, it is not uncommon for breasts to feel sore, especially around the time of your period and a few days before it. But in your heart, I imagine, is an internal pain, not an external pain. Ask your doctor what to expect.
-Abby
|
16/F dating a 17/m for over a year.
Today, I had plans to meet up with my mom to go look at prom dresses after school.
I told my boyfriend, "I'm not waiting for you after school" because it takes him a minute or two to meet up with me after school. But when I don't have to wait for him (I've always waited on him unless he's absent), I can get out of the school pretty fast and manage to beat the school traffic. He gets upset and starts to ignore me.
A few minutes after telling him that, my mom sends me a text message telling me she was going to check me out an hour before school dismissal. Of course, I told my boyfriend. He still continues to ignore me.
After I got home, we were IMing each other back and forth with this conversation:
Him: :-\
Me: what?
Him: what you said when i last saw you
Me: what? that I didnt want to wait?
Him: yeah, that was stupid
Him: saves you a minute and a half at the most
Me: no no, 4-5 minutes
Him: it takes me 4-5 minutes to walk about 150 feet?
Me: no, but have you seen me walk fast? Yeah, I do that when I dont have to wait.
Him: just shut up
Him: even if you were going to save time, big deal
Him: what did you need to rush outta there so fast for?
Him: that dress might sell out before you get there?
Him: doubt it
Me: to look at dresses?
Me: to beat hellacious traffic?
Him: you're ridiculous
Him: the whole thing was stupid
Him: waiting on me wouldnt have made you any late
Me: even your friend said it made sense
Him: he didnt care
Me: he said, "It makes sense", Andrew.
Him: and uh, i dont care
Him: forget what he said, it wouldnt have made a difference if you waited on me
Him: and it was ridiculous that you would argue with me about it and completely refuse to wait for me
Me: you're the ridiculous one who is currently overreacting. It doesn't matter anymore, Andrew. I checked out at 1:51.
Him: no, it doesnt matter that you checked out
Him: YOU WERE REFUSING TO WAIT FOR ME
Me: okay? So I could get out of there.
Him: that's stupid
Him: you're f***ing dumb as s**t f**k you im done good bye
He signed off at 7:42:29 PM.
What should I do? (link)
|
Your boyfriend IS acting like a jerk. I don't think you should apologize for anything, and just let him come to his senses. Write him a note for tomorrow, and (rationally) tell him why you could not wait for him. Tell him you weren't trying to piss him off, you just had to get out of there fast and your sorry he took it the wrong way, but he has no reason to get so mad. Tell him he can come talk to you when he comes to his senses and chills out.
Im usually for communication, but when your guy is being a jerk, he needs to realize it. But try not to fight anymore. Dont give him that satisfaction.
Good luck!
-Abby
|
Okay, recently I've been getting sick a lot [mostly form lack of sleep and sickness going around in school] and when I get sick, I tend to throw up [yea, I know, ew.]
I've heard that when you throw up, your stomach acid deteriorates your teeth [enamle?] Anywhos, I was wondering what I could do [without going to the dentist] to help protect my teeth. (link)
|
If this is only temporary, damage wont really be done to your teeth. Its more like bulemics who have bad teeth because they throw up so often. All you need to do is brush your teeth after you throw up. You could try crest white strips as guards, but I dont know if they would hold up so well.
Get better soon!
-Abby
|
|
How old do you have to be to get a hotel room in New York State? (link)
|
18 or have a guardian with you who is 18 or over.
-Abby
|
My fiance and I were In a car accadint recently. The guy was drunk and hit the passanger side of the car; The side I was on. This ended with me having 3 cracked ribs and a lot of bruises but other than that I was fine. Why the hospital kept me there for 5 days I don't know. They said I was in a coma, but I was only asleep for about two days and they drugged me up pretty good. Anyways, I was able to go home yesterday and ever since I got home my fiance has been extremely over protective and he even told me that he blames himself for what happened even though it's totally not his fault. I told him that but I can tell he still feels guilty and I don't know how to deal with that. Now back to him being overprotective, he won't let me do anything by myself. I know I have 3 cracked ribs but I know how to walk. He's pissing me off, however I do know he's just trying to help
and that I shouldn't be annoyed or anything but I am. I know how to take care of myself. This morning I blew up on him saying that I didn't need him or his help and that he should just leave me alone, and som other stuff. Now I feel really bad, and I can tell i hurt him because I know he just wants me to be safe. I don't know what to say to him. I haven't talked to him since this morning and it's not that I'm mad at him anymore it's just that I don't know what to say. I guess I'm just tired of people asking If I'm okay or If I need anything and that I have to take time off of school. My fiance thinks I'm still mad at him and has tried to talk to me several times, but I don't know what to say so I just tell him I don't wan't to talk. It relly is seet that he wants to take care of me and all, but how do I approach the situation without hurting him or ending up having another fight? even though it wasn't really a fight, just me yelling at him.
Sorry this is so long, I just really need advice.
Thank-you so much to anyone who answers! (link)
|
First off, Im glad you are okay for the most part and didn't get more injured than you did- your very lucky. To many poeple have died from drunk drivers.
It sounds like you've got a great guy. Try to imagine how he felt when he saw you hurt. He was at the wheel, and even though it wasnt his fault, he feels horrible for hurting the person he loves most. He wants to make up for what he thinks he did to you, and wants to make sure your never in any pain again.
Your outburst probably did make him feel bad, so calm down, and than talk to him. Tell him you appreciate what he is doing for you so much, and that there aren't many guys out there like him. But your not china. Let him know what even though your injured you can handle yourself, and you feel a bit smothered with him trying to help all the time. Tell him you'll ask for help when you need it. And make it even more clear that it is NOT his fault whatsoever, and he could have done absoulutely nothing to stop the accident. He sounds very caring, so Im sure he'll understand. And enjoy being waited on hand and foot, because trust me, that treatment doesn't last long with guys.
Good luck and get well soon!
-Abby
|
|
ever since i got my permit, ive notice im TERRIBLE at driving. i'm putting my own safety at risk, and others! its just hard for me to stear (sp?) and turning and parking! are there video games out there for playstation or whatever to help me practice driving better? like i could buy a fake stearing column or something and practice? if not, what else can i do? i've been practiving for 2 months now!!thanks?! (link)
|
I dont think video games would be the best help, considering its all about road rage. Try going out with a parent to a deserted lot and just practing parking and turning. Even bring some cones to drive around. The more you practice, the better you get.
Good luck and happy driving!
-Abby
|
I was just wondering...it seems like everyone is having sex except for me. i mean its not like i want a baby or anything but im also not saving myself for marriage.i also havnet had like a serious boyfriend yet..o ya and im turning 17 soon. im i too old to have my first real relationship?
(link)
|
Love is something that comes at your own pace, not everyone elses. YOU decide when you want to have sex, and thats when your ready. Never rush into sex because your partner wants you to, because all your friends are doing it, or because it just seems like the right thing to do at the time. If you do, you'll regret it. You only get your first time once, so make it special.
Your also never to old to have a relationship. Your never to old for love. Some people get married in their 80's! Love happens when it is meant to, so don't worry, your time will come :)
Good luck!
-Abby
|
ok well i got my period and my mom wont let me wear tampons. the only time i'm allowed to wear tampons is when i go swimming (im on a swim team), but the rest of the time i can only wear pads.
and i only have thongs, so pads are EXTREMELY uncomfortable, so my mom is out buying me regular underwear which i cant stand cuz they give you wedgies and panty lines.
to add to that, pads are soooo loud when you pull them off (and even when you walk) but tampons are silent and you cant even feel them.
my mom says that tampons are dangerous, and they are only for a heavy blood flow. but they make tampons for light flow too!!! and theyre safe to use as long as you change them every four hours.
the only time i'm willing to use pads is at night when im sleeping.
so how do i convince my mom to let me wear tampons? (link)
|
Get facts on tampons (like brochures, the boxes, or from the internet.) and show your mother that they are safe. She is probably concerned about toxic shock syndrome, but it is VERY RARE. Tampons should be totally safe if you change them as nessacary, dont leave them in past six hours, and use one according to your blood flow. Even ask her to talk to your doctor, and let him/her tell her that tampons are safe.
Let her know tampons are just as safe and much more comfortable for you than pads.
Good luck!
-Abby
|
|
i want to change the color of my eyes to make them look lighter what site should i go to to download a free picture of my with different colored eyes? (link)
|
Try I-village.com. They have a makeover game where you can upload your picture, I believe.
-Abby
|
|
What is the best, non-rudest, least akward way to tell someone you want them to get tested before you sleep with them? (link)
|
Be straight forward. Tell them you really like them, but cannot risk your health and theirs if they dont get tested. Make it clear you want to be intimate and this is nothing agaisnt their personal character, but you really perfer being safe. Just let them know once they get tested they'll have a great gift waiting for them :p
Good luck and be safe,
-Abby
|
|
Hi, Everyone I know from my mothers family is thin, we tend to have a fast metabolism. I used to have well organized eating habbits but not im in schoool and working and its hard to have continuous healthy foods especially when I find myself eating alot of fast food. Im cautious about myself, I want to be healthy and put on weight. Please help me to figure out a way so I can eat healthier and more during the day. Is there something I can do to change my metabolism? Also I'm a little bit of a picky eatier because I don't particularly like veggies or brown bread (except on pitas =) ) I do on the otehr hand like pastas and pizza and meat (with lots of gravy) Please give me whatever opinions you know, books, websites, whatever. Thanks So Much. ! (link)
|
Instead of eating the traditional 3 meals a day, eat 5 little meals spread throughout the day. Eat the healthy food you usally eat, but in smaller portions. Add weight gaining bars and shakes to your diet to help. You can also try going to the gym and gaining some muscle, because muscle is heavier than fat.
Good luck!
-Abby
|
|
k so i have like "speed bumps" or w.e. and like they are itching like at randome times but when they are itchy theyr realllly itchy. some one told me that when your boobs itch that means there growing. is that true?? (link)
|
Puberty is different for other girls. Some experience pain, itching, soreness or tenderness of the breasts when they are growing. Its all pretty normal as long as it isnt chronic. If its really difficult to deal or a serious problem with for you, you might want to see a doctor.
-Abby
|
ok, im falling for my ex again and i think shes fallign for me too. we had a conversation on aim tongiht ad it went like this.
me: i knwo you dont mean it
me: or do you?
me: :-\
me: haha
her: YOU WILL N EVER KNOW
her: hahhahaha
me: or will you?
me: i mean i
me: or will i?
me: lol
her: loserrrrrrkid
me: yeah, but at oen time you liked this loserkid
me: haha
her: hahahah
her: YOU WILL NEVER KNOW
me: or do you still?
me: haha
her: again
her: YOU WILL NEVER KNOIW
her: hahahahah
me: maybe i might find out
me: hmmm...
me: haha
her: haha
me: only one way to find out i guess
me: haha
her: haha that sounded funny
i need your opinon on this. her and i are supposed to go to the mall next weekned. please help me. does she still like me? what should i do? (link)
|
Sounds like she was flirting with you a bit!
If you like her, show it. Flirt with her when you guys go to the mall. If she flirts back, smiles a lot, laughs at your jokes, touches you when she talks to you, and is playful, she probably still likes you. If so, than go for it! But you really wont truly know until you ask, so be upfront. You cant fail with honesty.
Good luck!
-Abby
|
#1-
I've recently heard a girl band called Barlow Girl.
they write Christianity/gospel music. i love their 2 songs called Mirror and Never Alone.
are there any other songs that are like them,
a girl band
Christianity/gospel songs
and teaches people lessons?
#2-
I've always had a dream to become a rock star... not like SUPER famous.. but at least known in my city. maybe like a garage band or something like that.
well here's the problem.. actually theres a lot of problems
-I LOVE to sing.. but my voice isn't all that great
-I have stage fright
-i have never sung in front of an audience.. not even my family
-I want to be in a band, but i don't know what to do... like a drummer, guitarist or vocalist but i like ALL of them. I could see myself doing all of them.
-The only instruments i've played were the piano and clarinet.. so i'd have to take up lessons for guitar or drums... but i probably won't have the time to practice or have the lessons
heres my schedule
mondays- soccer practice
tues.- soccer conditioning
wed- soccer practice
thur- nothing
fri- soccer practice
and then every other saturday or sunday is a soccer tournament.
HELP HELP HELP!!!!!!!!!!!
thanks soooooo much for reading this.. i know this is long and i REALLY appriciate it if you could help me. You have no idea how much i love to sing and listen to music... i need help.
(link)
|
I think we have a lot in common :)
1# I just happened to be watching TV and see a commercial for a Christian Cd :Open the eyes of my heart and the website is www.timeline.com. I like the songs a lot, maybe you will too.
2# I LOVE to sing as well. I've always wanted to play an instrument, but I find that my voice is the best instrument I've got. You cant be a one person band, so pick something and focus on it.
For your scheduling conflicts, you've just got to fit it in. Maybe you can take lessons after school (like thursday) or you can even try teaching yourself in your downtime (you can buy videos/tapes/books on just about anything.) For singing paticurlarly, I find just practicing makes perfect. Vocal lessons could really help, but you could just learn exercises and songs. And if your ever in a band, you wont have to carry any heavy equiptment.
Stage fright is a hard thing for me too. But I find working your way up helps. Sing for a friend, sing for a group of friends, sing for family, and get more comfortable with it. Sometimes I just start singing and dont realize it til Im midway thru the song! Its not hard once you get used to it.
Good luck and rock out!
-Abby
|
|
I'm thinking about getting bangs. I'm just scared I won't like them. Has that happened to any of you? I wan't to do something diffrent to my hair. Any ideas? (link)
|
Bangs can be REALLY cute. Here are some tips:
-Get pictures. Know exactly how to describe the look you want to your stylist.
-Dont pick anything to trendy. You dont want your look to go out in a couple weeks!
-Try side bangs. You can easily pin them, and its not a full on bang so its not to scary. And they grow out quickly and easily.
-Pick a style that will go well with your hair style. Like bangs with really thick and bushy hair? Might not work so well.
-Experiment and have fun!
Good luck!
-Abby
|
ahh! okay so im so excited for the summer. just about everything about it. alright well i just started wearing bikinis last summer (im in 8th grade now) and i had one but it was on the top part of it because the bottoms were way to big (i could find a bikini anywhere that fit). i searched like the whole mall pretty much. im not fat. im just really skinny and like flat chested. then i mean. like i recently got my period for the first time and i have right now like "speed bumps" ha. so like i should start getting boobs soon (like before like i start swimming and stuff). what are some REALLY good bikinis? like they look good and are comforable and ect.
heres some stuff that might help a little:
-i have blonde wavy hair
-blue eyes
-5 foot 3
-100 pounds or something like that
and um yeah.
pretty much anything but not like white or brown.
maybe like blue or black?
or white and blue stripes? idk!
thanks!! (link)
|
Check out WWW.VICTORASSECRET.COM
They have bathing suits for any body type, and even tops that can make the most out of small breasts.
Or, you say your skinny, so maybe you should go to limited two. It might be known for tweens, but they have some cute suits for smaller figures (to bad i cant fit in them :p)
Target has cheap bathing suits and you can mix and match tops and bottoms, so you can find get different sizes for your top and bottom.
Good luck!
-Abby
|
|