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Overprotective Fiance
My fiance and I were In a car accadint recently. The guy was drunk and hit the passanger side of the car; The side I was on. This ended with me having 3 cracked ribs and a lot of bruises but other than that I was fine. Why the hospital kept me there for 5 days I don't know. They said I was in a coma, but I was only asleep for about two days and they drugged me up pretty good. Anyways, I was able to go home yesterday and ever since I got home my fiance has been extremely over protective and he even told me that he blames himself for what happened even though it's totally not his fault. I told him that but I can tell he still feels guilty and I don't know how to deal with that. Now back to him being overprotective, he won't let me do anything by myself. I know I have 3 cracked ribs but I know how to walk. He's pissing me off, however I do know he's just trying to help
and that I shouldn't be annoyed or anything but I am. I know how to take care of myself. This morning I blew up on him saying that I didn't need him or his help and that he should just leave me alone, and som other stuff. Now I feel really bad, and I can tell i hurt him because I know he just wants me to be safe. I don't know what to say to him. I haven't talked to him since this morning and it's not that I'm mad at him anymore it's just that I don't know what to say. I guess I'm just tired of people asking If I'm okay or If I need anything and that I have to take time off of school. My fiance thinks I'm still mad at him and has tried to talk to me several times, but I don't know what to say so I just tell him I don't wan't to talk. It relly is seet that he wants to take care of me and all, but how do I approach the situation without hurting him or ending up having another fight? even though it wasn't really a fight, just me yelling at him.
Sorry this is so long, I just really need advice.
Thank-you so much to anyone who answers!
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First off, Im glad you are okay for the most part and didn't get more injured than you did- your very lucky. To many poeple have died from drunk drivers.
It sounds like you've got a great guy. Try to imagine how he felt when he saw you hurt. He was at the wheel, and even though it wasnt his fault, he feels horrible for hurting the person he loves most. He wants to make up for what he thinks he did to you, and wants to make sure your never in any pain again.
Your outburst probably did make him feel bad, so calm down, and than talk to him. Tell him you appreciate what he is doing for you so much, and that there aren't many guys out there like him. But your not china. Let him know what even though your injured you can handle yourself, and you feel a bit smothered with him trying to help all the time. Tell him you'll ask for help when you need it. And make it even more clear that it is NOT his fault whatsoever, and he could have done absoulutely nothing to stop the accident. He sounds very caring, so Im sure he'll understand. And enjoy being waited on hand and foot, because trust me, that treatment doesn't last long with guys.
Good luck and get well soon!
-Abby
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My mom was recently in a car accident, and she felt REALLY bad about it for a couple days.
Reevaluate in a couple days.
And hey, how often is it that a guy wants to take total care of you? Savor the moment. :]
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Just apologize to him and let it be done with.
You are angry and frustrated. He is guilty and scared. It's a lethal combination that is sure to cause some trouble. You know you stepped out of line when you yelled at him, so apologize for it. At the same time, realize that blowing up at him might have been the best way to make him realize your feelings.
After you apologize, tell him what you just told us: That you are frustrated and tired of people babying you. Tell him you know he is only doing because he cares but that you wish he would stop. Promise him you will take care of yourself and ask for help if you need it.
Keep that promise and you two will be just fine.
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