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Q: Two quick questions here. My boyfriend and i (of 1 year 1 month today) are spending new years together. Ill be spending the night at his house. we have done everything BUT sex so far...but i think were ready to move a step forward (im not positive yet...im sleeping on it for a few nights). Anyways....on to the questions
1.) Sooo my bf got a condom from a reliable friend id say....5 months ago...and its an individual one..and it doesnt have a expiration date on it. i was wondering if like condoms go bad after that amount of time or if its more along the lines of a year or something. I know people are supposed to pay close attention to the exp. date...and it sucks that it doesnt have it on it.
2) Is it more likely to not get pregnant if you are having your period (i think i may have mine tomorrow) ? I know he wont care if its bloody/yucky...but i was wondering if it wood be a good thing to be having sex during it (or vice versa...a bad thing). We will, of course, be using that condom.

Soooorrry its so long but i really hope i can have some help with this!! thanks!!!

Condoms do go bad. It could go bad from "time" (that's why there's an expiration date) or from environment (heat). If you unwrap it and it's soft and flexible and (if lubricated) moist, it's probably okay. Still, I'd recommend you get a new condom, especially since they are readily available and not expensive--and so, so important!
You are much less likely to get pregnant on your period, but it's not 100%. You ovulated 14 days before your period. That doesn't mean, though, that you won't ovulate early this month--even during your period (I swear to God this is true).
So please celebrate New Year's with a reliable condom! Gigi

Q: ok so i was supposed to start my period like 5 days ago and i just started today..i feel like i would normally feel whenever im on my period but im not bleeding like i would...im usually heavier than this..i mean right now im barely bleeding at all. what does this mean?

Is there any chance at all that you might be pregnant? Trust me, that's the first thing to come to a doctor's mind when diagnosing a girl with symptoms like yours. If not, just relax and if the same thing happens next month, see a doctor. On the other hand, if you could be pregnant, you should see a doctor immediately because you could have an ectopic pregnancy (that's when the fertilized egg attaches to something other than a uterus). Good luck. Gigi

Q: heyy...i have had my period for about 3 years now...and it is still irregular. Is that normal?
13/f..Canadian

It's not "normal" but it doesn't mean that there's anything seriously wrong with you, either. You probably have some sort of hormone imbalance (thyroid, ovarian) that your doctor can take care of with medication. Have your mom make an appointment, but in the meantime--don't worry! Gigi

Q: okay so me and my bf really want to have sex. we are both virgins, so i was wondering is there anyway i can get something from him if he hasnt had sex and if he wears a condom wats the chance of me getting pregnat?

All of these answers are confusing, aren't they? Everyone has a different opinion about disease, the effectiveness of condoms as birth control, etc.
Condoms are your best defense against disease. [Did you know that if a person has a cold sore on their mouth (which is really called "herpes simplex") and they touch it, and then they touch their genital area (or someone else's), they can get (or give that person) genital herpes?]
Condoms aren't the best for birth conrol, however. Your best bet is another form of birth control AND a condom.
And if you're ready for sex, you're ready for the responsibility. The easiest thing for you to do is to go to Planned Parenthood. They will answer all your questions and fix you up with the right kind of birth control for YOU.
P.S. In my experience, a lot of guys will try to get out of using condoms at the last minute. I don't think this will happen to you, but you should be aware of it, and be ready to say, "no."
Gigi

Q: what are some side effects of birth control? i know it probably changes from person to person, but what are some.. thanks

In reference to a previous answer: Birth control of any kind does not cause cancer. Certain hormones in much larger doses taken by menopausal women has been shown to increase the chances of breast cancer in some women.

All of your advisers, including me, have assumed you mean the Pill. If you need to know about the side effects of other birth control measures, please ask another question. Gigi

Q: Okay I will try to make it short. I have a boyfriend and I like him a lot. We have just started going out(it will be a month in like a week). Well the other day I was at his house, just hanging out and well I wont go into detail but at the end of the night we had reached 2nd base. & for me thats too fast. I mean I know we have both already had long term relationships and done everything like that, but I thought he would take it slower. Well my question is how do I tell him I want to slow it down without pushing him away?

The advice I would give you depends a lot upon knowing how old he is, how old you are, how long you have known one another, etc. The answer I would give a 20 year old, for instance, would vary greatly from that I would give a 14 year old. Gigi

Q: Okay, first of all, I have really sensitive, dry skin and I'm a 16 year old female. I've never had acne on my face or anything like that but I've had problems since I was 13 or 14 with zits on my chest and back. I literally get zits on my breasts and chest and all over the top of my back. They're not huge "breakouts" - but I'll get one or two individual zits on my chest and quite a few on my back. I've tried everything I can to get rid of them (including proactiv and all kinds of over the counter treatments) and now that I'm using Neutrogena Body Scrub and showering and putting on lotion every day, it's a lot better than it used to be.

But, no matter what I do, even though I shower every day and moisturize and everything, I still get zits on my chest and back! I'll get rid of a zit and then the next day I have a new one! It's painful and humiliating and I can't make it go away! And on top of all that, I have scarring from previous zits.

I need advice! I don't have a dermatologist (and my parents "can't afford" to have me go to one) so that's out of the question. I just need to know what helped people who've had this problem or a problem similar to this. I would appreciate ANY advice! Thank you!

I've been to dermatologists for acne, and never once has one told me to use moisturizer on the areas where I've had zits! I'd suggest something like Aveeno, which won't make your skin too dry...or even skipping the shower a few days a week in favor of a sponge bath (water, believe it or not, is very drying to your skin). We're all in the habit of a daily shower in the 21st century, but less than 100 years ago people only bathed on Saturday nights and didn't have running water at all! I'm telling you that so you don't think skipping a shower or two will give you B.O...it won't! (Do take the sponge bath though, use deodorant, and wear clean underwear every day in case you're in an accident, like Mom used to say.) Gigi

Q: I'm a 19 year-old female who's dating a 26 year-old male. We have a lot of problems because of our age difference, but there's one major problem that I don't quite understand.

My boyfriend is constantly trying to have sex with me. Mind you, since our fifth month into dating, we've been boinking. However, over the past year or so, he's persistant in his efforts to have sex with me, even when I don't want to. I'll tell him I don't feel like it and he just keeps bugging me, saying things like "You don't need this shirt" and then trying to pull my shirt off over my head while we're watching a movie. Or, more often, complaining that "sex fixes everything" because it makes him feel better. When I explain that it makes me feel terrible to have sex when I don't want to, he insists that it won't.
So, we never have any time to talk about things or even go out because we're stuck at home fighting about sex. I don't even like to kiss him anymore because he takes it as a sign that I want to "do it". Most of the time I just give in because I'm tired of fighting and then feel cheap and bad the rest of the time I'm with him.
I've tried to talk to him about it and I've tried to explain it to him, but he just doesn't seem to care.

What should I do?

I had a relationship like this when I was 30 and he was 33. I came to the realization that the relationship IS sex. We talked, but it always degenerated into sex...on the phone, into phone sex. We could never share thoughts, feelings, dreams, or even see movies together. I finally ended it.
Before Christmas, I looked him up on the Internet and called to say hello. Now he keeps trying to call me, and guess what?--the conversations start to degenerate into phone sex, until I point it out and tell him I'm not getting into all of that again.
Good luck. I sincerely hope I'm wrong, but it sounds like the same relationship I had, which was a "sexual relationship" period. Gigi

Q: - I haven't had my period in the last four months. I am not sexually active with boys so I can't be pregnant. Although like dark brown spots show up in my underwear. I'm so scared but I don't know what it could be. PLEASE HELP ME!!!

Are you a serious dieter, or a very very skinny girl to begin with who has lost weight? This is one reason why your period can stop. How long have you had your period? Some girls, when they first start to get periods, may skip a month or two and what little fluid does turn up is kind of brownish (this happened to me). Other reasons for "amenorrhea" (the medical term) include problems with your ovaries or problems with your thyroid. There's nothing to be scared about, but I know it's easier for me to say than for you to feel. Believe me, what you describe doesn't sound fatal, or even really embarrassing (unless it's happening to you, I guess). If you just started getting your period within the last six months, breathe a sigh of relief and forget the whole thing. If "new period" isn't the answer to your problem, you need to tell your mom and see a doctor--not because there's anything horribly wrong, but because he or she can fix you right up. Honest! Gigi

bio

I have had what I term a "soap opera life". In other words, I've seen it all. Almost.

I work in health care and I'm as old as the hills (not that old, I guess--but I'm definitely not a kid) so feel free to ask whatever you like.

NOTE: I AM NOT MY OWN FAVORITE COLUMNIST (SEE BELOW)!!!! I just hit the wrong button...