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Q: I'm 17 and I'm' a girl....So me and this guy starting dating 3 months ago (he's my first serious boyfriend) and I really like him. We took it slow phyically but the last time I saw him we were making out and that lead to him almost fingering me. I stopped him before it got to that point but he was headed there and it scared me. I made a promise to God that I wouldn't have sex before I was married and I intend to keep that promise. I feel as though I should hate him and break up with him but he's such a sweet guy it's like I can't break up with him. He knows I've considered breaking it off and all he can do is be sweet about and tell me that it's my choice. Basically if I break it off I'm going to be the "bad guy" because he's just so sweet. From a christian perspective, because he tried should I break it off or not? I mean if the attraction between us is so strong that it is causing us to sin then should I be with someone that I cause to sin and they cause me to sin?

If he stopped when you asked him to and he is telling you it is your choice to break it off or not, then he better understands your religion and he respects you as a person and what you believe in. I think he is doin the right thing by not pressuring you into crossing your boundaries and by not pressuring you to stay with him if you choose to leave. For this, he has proven himself worthy and he is supporting your beliefs. You should stay with him.

Q: Heya =] I was just wondering if it was at all possible to fall back in love with somebody (in your opinion) you have fallen out of love with. I have history with a boy, and we spluit up around a year ago because He didn't feel the same about me... But lately Ive been getting mixed signals from him about his feelings, and I was wondering to the general public, is it possible to fall back in love with someone you haven't been for around a year x]!
Thanks Very much =]

I believe it is impossible to fall out of love. If you believe you have then your idea of love is different from true love. You are becoming infatuated with him again. You may care about him, but you dont love him. If the love is real, it goes deeper than anything. Nothing can ruin it or come in between it. The only way it can change is if it grows stronger.

Q: Ok i have been going out with this girl since Nov. and we have been fine well today she left her books in my car and one of her notebooks was open to a note she wrote another guy aaron it said i may be going out with travis(me) but i still flirt and stuff with you and the only reason i broke up with you was cause her friend told her to...so i texted her about it (she is not allowed on phone)and she was all cool bout it then she turned it on me asking me why i read it in the first place now she wont text me...first off was i wrong for reading it i mean the reason i did cause i saw my name...what do i say to her...then finally what i do about this other guy?

Feelings for her ex? Hiding things from you? Honesty, trust, communication, care for one another, respect and commitment are just some key things needed to have a successful relationship and none of these seem to matter to her. You didn't do anything wrong. You are only going to get hurt more if you stay with her. Finding this out means she is not the person that you thought she was. What else don't you know about her? What else is she keeping from you? Her end of the relationship was built on lies. You deserve someone you can trust, who has feelings for you and only you, and who won't take it out on you when they are wrong. I wish you the best.

Q: ok so im trying out for track tomorrow and im really nervous. and on top of that my crush is trying out!!! im freaking out im scared im going to totally embarass myself. any tips to help calm down and get my mind off of him? and also if you know of any good running tips please tell!!! thanks alot

You mentioned trying out for track before your crush, that shows the team is your first priority. You are doing it for you, so watch him only when he is trying out- not when you are. I am sure everyone is nervous they that will mess up but chances are, you'll do fine. Make sure you drink water throughout the day and that you eat something. You need food for energy. It is also a must that you stretch before and dont rush while stretching. The point is to loosen your muscles to prevent injury. If you follow this, you will be more focused. While running, be sure to keep your back and neck in line. If you are trying out on the track, jog the curves and sprint the straightaways. Think of your crush being on the team as a bonus if you make it. Good luck.

Q: okay i went home to the Philippines a week ago since my dad passed away and i was able to spend time with my cousins and i finally met my sisters that i didnt know about and i got to know them and i was REALLY happy there. and when i had to go back to the states i really cried in the airplane and i wasnt happy when i got back here and also i didnt wanna go back school so i missed 4 days of school, and im in the room just sleeping there till 6pm and sleeping at 5-7am i really miss my cousins and my sisters and when i came back to school i wasnt really happy to see my friends and i really wanna go back there, cant sleep till 6am i think i became kind of anti social around my friends and what should i do to not to feel antisocial or depressed? is this normal?

Hun, I am sorry for your loss. Besides missing them, I think you are feeling the way you do because your cousins and sisters were there for you through what was probably the hardest thing you have ever had to deal with. Therefore, you have become emotionally attached to them in a way that you weren't before. You should definitely make sure you are having some sort of contact with them. Being anti-social towards your friends might be because you are afraid they won't be there for you like your family was. Maybe you think that once they find out what an ordeal you are goin through, they wouldn't know what to do and abandon you. Maybe you don't want them pitying you... The only way to get over something as hard as this, is to have people support you and by letting them support you. If they are your true friends, then they should be there for you like your family was. Try opening up to your friends. They can help you with your depression. I really hope I helped and I wish you the best. If you need anything else im here.

Q: What that one disease called where like something happens to you and like you freak out cause u think its liek ALOT worse then it is? i think it starts with an H

I don't know about one fitting your description that starts wit an h, but i have ocd (obsessive compulsive disorder). You can google it for all symptoms, the different types and things you go thru/deal wit if you have it... However, your description is attributed to the disorder. For me, when something little happens, I tend to obsess about it. I worry about it way too much and I analyze it from every possible angle, continuing to ask myself all the ~what ifs~. I convince myself whatever it is is so horrible, it won't go away and my life is ruined... I hope I helped.

Q: I got so upset at my english teacher for giving me a bad grade on my project that i worked so hard on, so i sent him an email about it. it didnt seem rude at first, but when i went back and read it after i had cooled off, i realized that it does sound a bit rude. what do i do now? i dont want to appologize because i still dislike my teacher (i'm really not sorry) but i do feel bad. i dont want him to hate me now. what do i do?

Honesty is the best policy. That was brave of you to tell him how you felt. I think you should tell him what you told us: you worked very hard on the project and you believe you recieved an unfair grade. You thought he needed to know how you felt and after cooling down, you realized it sounded rude and you feel bad about it. Hopefully you will be able to work something out about your grade. I hope you didn't curse in your email, otherwise your grade will stick. By telling him you feel bad about what you said, he will see that you are being honest and that you really did work hard on the project. Good luck.

Q: this is going to sound really bad. but i started playing with myself when i was 12. i had started my period when i was 11. i had my period 5 times. till i tured 12. then one day it just stoped. im 15 now. and i havnt had my period since then. i dont want to go to a docter because im scared. i dont know what to do. and i mean obviously im not pregnet because its been 4 years. help..please..

Don't be embarrassed about masterbating! I started at 12 too and we all do it. It is ok to be scared- I am for you. You really need to go to a doctor though hun, because this is serious. You might not be able to have children or you could have a serious illness. I hope you have told someone close to you about this. They could go with you for support. Telling us about it was the first step. You need to tell someone who will take you to a doctor. I wish you the best.

Q: hmmmm..im thinking wether or not to have sex with somone i dont really like. but he likes me. what do you think?

If you are a virgin, that would be the biggest regret of your life. I am not saying wait until marriage because i didnt, and 3 years later I am still with my man, but do as I did and wait until its with someone you love, someone who loves you back and with whom you both see a future together. Your innocence is precious and should not be given to just anyone. If you are not a virgin, I still don't think it is a good idea. You don't care about him at all. Having sex with him will only deepen his feelings for you and will make him more emotionally attached to you for getting so intimate. Not only will you be hurting him, but you would be playing with his emotions and that is wrong.

Q: Do sororities/fraternities allow their members to quit? I mean, if the resident no longer wants to be affiliated with them, would they allow that resident to quit? And what happens next when the resident has already expressed his/her intentions? Is quitting really harder than joining?

I imagine your social life would be ruined if you were to quit. They might make you out to be a backstabber or a traitor. Most of them require you to be hazed to become a member. Not worth it. People who are your real friends would never put you through something like that. There are plenty of other ways to meet people and make friends in college that doesn't require you to lose your dignity or self respect. Since you are already thinking about possibly quitting, then you are having doubts. I suggest you don't get involved.

Q: 15/f

when a guy asks for your number, after you give it to them are u supposed to ask them what their number is also??

Well it makes sense to so when he calls, u know who it is and so if you want to talk to him, you don't have to wait for him to make a move.

Q: my best friend is a boy
we're 16
we've gotten really close the past 3 years
and ive completely fallen for him, even if ive promised myself i wouldnt
hes amazing
i cant even explain it
and i dont know if he feels the same way about me
but whenever he sees me in the morning his face lights up
and everyone says that hes the happiest when they see us talking
and he listens to absolutely everything i say
he takes care of me. not just the giving me his jacket in the rain type thing, or covering my eyes and holding my hand during a scary movie, or the carrying me like a princess when i hurt my leg type thing, but its also the staying on the phone with me for 6 hours after i had an argument with my mom on vacation, and walking 6 miles to my house in the pouring rain to visit me when i was sick.

i was talking to him about my english class, and how i didnt expect him to ask me to homecoming because there were a lot of people thatd be mad about it (his other friend, this girl who likes him, this guy who likes me, some of his friends that he isnt really close to but get mad at him for hanging out with me, all of which are in my english class) so i told him that i didnt expect him to ask me because of all those people. and the next day when i was sitting in english class and he appeared with my galpal with this huge banner outside the window saying janie. homecoming?
and i was so happy
and i didnt think i had fallen for him until i was sitting in the library doing my hw and i saw him walking over out of the corner of my eye but pretended not to and he put his hand on mine and i looked up and he looked into my eyes and i looked into his and even though all he said was "hey" really softly i just knew

i love this guy
and i dont know what to do
i want to tell him
but i dont want to freak him out
what if i totally destroy our relationship?

help

Awww. Hun, you two are adorable. It is plain to see you that you were meant for eachother. He feels the same way about you. Tell him. Don't let those other people hold you two back. All that should matter is that you guys love eachother. I don't see why he would do all these special romantic things if he didn't love you too. Keep me updated if you don't mind. This story warms my heart. I am sure when you tell him you will be together. Good luck, though you dont need it ;)

Q: i've been through alot, and i know everybody has their issues but my homelife is an absolute mess, always has been really. but i know everybody has their own battles to fight and my whole life i've covered up whatever i was going though by being really outgoing and cracking jokes. nobody ever thinks i might be going through something because im always laughing

but when i met my boyfriend two years ago he just made me so comfortable and he makes me really really happy. he is like me always looking on the upside of things. the problem is we've been dating for a long while now and i find myself confiding in him for EVERYTHING. i call him crying, i talk about how foster care used to be and about my dad. I never got to talk to anybody about this but he's the closest person to me.

the problem is i've confided in him for years now and he knows everything, but i still feel the need to talk about it. he has never made a comment about it or even hinted that it bothered him but im starting to realize i always ruin his good mood. i feel like i am constantly raining on his parade when i make comments about that and i dont want to live like that, i want to make him happy i love him.

so my question is, how can i remember to be more optomistic about things and be a little bit more happy. this depressing funk im going through isn't helping out relationship

Well you have to think that even though you will never forget the things that you experienced, you were strong enough to get through it. You overcame your obstacles. You didn't give up or lose hope. Even though it still hurts, things have turned around a little for you since those times. You got a boyfriend who is there for you and really cares. He deals with it because he cares about you. As long as you tell him the last thing you want to do is cause him pain due to yours, he should continue to understand and be there for you. Good luck, stay strong and don't lose faith. I hope I helped and if you need anything else im here.

Q: Sometimes I wish I could just always say what's on my mind. Most of everything in my thoughts that I wish I would say is all...mean. I do say alot of things but the stuff still in my head is worse than the stuff I say out loud. And I often get called a bitch for what I do say. I'm not sure what's going on, I wasn't always like this. Weird??

What's probably going on is because of the fact that you keep quiet and people take advantage of you. Not expressing how you truly feel make them not care about your feelings and they will do the same things to you that hurt you the first time. You are tired of people walking all over you and it is a good thing you are letting people know how you feel. Maybe they will see what they need to do to not hurt you. If they call you a bitch for it, they won't change and you don't need them.

Q: okay so im in 10th grade mi a size 3 and b bra
and all the older guys tell me im just so sexy and stuff like that but i just don't understand why they wont try and getting w/ me its like
if im so hot then why not try getting w/ me
and how can i get hot and sexy for them but w/o not being slutty??
or more of what am i trying to saying is how can i get a good boyfriend??

These guys are probably shy. Some of them are sure to like you. If if you like someone flirt, but it is important you don't change who you are. Hang in there. Good things come to those who wait and when you least expect it, ~mr. right for you~ will come along. You don't want to go through every ~mr. right now~ if you know what im saying. Don't just try to get with any random guy to be able to say you have a boyfriend. That won't make you feel better about yourself and if one tends to rush into any relationship, it won't work. Wait until you really care about someone beacuse relationships take a lot of hard work and sacrifice. I know you feel like you can't find it rite now and its not going to happen unless you change, but don't worry. Love will find you.

Q: f/16
Okay well i have this ex boyfriend and we dated over the summer but i broke up with him because i cheated and believed that he needed a better girlfriend. we use to tell eachother "i love you" and everything and it hurt alot to break up. we kept in contact over the next six months and i never lost my feelings for him. then on a conversation over the phone he slipped up and said babe. it was silent and then he started spilling out how he still cares about me. It was really emotional and we said our "i love yous" again. we're not in a relationship because of distance and i'm grounded. but at school there's other guys and when i talk to him i want to be with him but i know the timings not right. i want to date other people but does that mean i'm not in love with him? but then what are the feelings i have for him if not love?

plz help and thank you! =]

If you cheated on him and you want to date other people than no, it is not true love. Distance wouldn't matter and you wouldn't want or need anyone else. You do care for him enough in the sense that you broke up with him knowing he deserves better, but you don't care about him enough where you are in love with him. If you were, you wouldn't have done those things to him. If you still want to argue that true love is what you feel for him, than that means you are infatuated with him. You are in love with the idea of being in love but are not. It is passion based on attraction.

Q: idk if this is the right category or not but.. theres this guy. hes like my bestfriend.and i really really like him. we went out before and stuff.. well a few weekends ago we made out. and all week he has been sending me text messages saying how hot i am and how much he wants to f*** me. well my question is how do i make him start to fall for me and not just think of me as a hookup? thanks!! ill rate 5s

If he is your best friend/ then im sure honesty has always been a part of your friendship. The first thing I suggest you do is talk to him about it. Tell him you don't want your friendship ruined over this, but you need to tell him how you feel. Tell him you feel like he is only into hooking up and ask if he like you in another way. Make he understands that you like him more than a friend, more than just for hooking up. If you want to go into detail about why you like him you should. Tell him how much he means to you, why and how you appreciate him always being there for you, the bond you two have shared...etc. Because of how close you are, talking to him seems best.

Q: So I have a really great boyfriend, like he's amazing, very cute,sweet and everything.
Just that whenever we cuddle on the couch, he always places his band under my shirt, and just plays with my stomach rubs it, and jiggles it and stuff.
He says stuff like "Ah, you're little belly is so cute."
But I feel weird, because I'm not chubby or anything, quite average, but I do have a tiny bit of a tummy. And he's skelatal.
It just makes me akward, but since he likes to I won't stop him, I just don't know why he likes it so much.

Hun if your man loves your body, thats the only persons opinion that should matter to you besides your own. This should make you feel beautiful. Think about this. He cares about you for you and he likes your body too. Also, he is being very respectful to you, assuming he is only satisfying one of his desires (to tickle your belly). Smile, relax, accept and enjoy that you have a good man who thinks you are great and your body too.

Q: What do you give a guy for your one year anniversary? He would be 17 by then and he's not a cologne or watch guy. What would be appropriate? He's been hinting off that he's going to give me a promise ring. So i have no idea what would .. measure up or be meaningful as that. I don't think a CD or band t-shirt is appropriate. I'm at a loss..

A one year anniversary is very special. Try a chain (as in a necklace), this way you can feel that he has a connection close to that of what you would feel with the promise ring. You should definitely include a card. If you are a good writer, you can include a poem or song that describes your relationship. That would be really meaningful. If not, you can give it a shot by just writing in the card how much he means to you and how special your anniversary means to you. I hope I and congratulations!

Q: Ok my mom loves my little brother more than me , she is al ways calling him ( my little baby) when he is onley 7 years old. I talk to her about it bu she does not listen. What should i do?

It is natural for a mother to continue to call her youngest child ~her little baby~. It doesnt mean she loves you less. The youngest child does seem to get more attention at times. I know, I am the oldest of five children. It is definitely frustrating but i dont think you should take it to heart. You should ask your mom if just the two of you can spend some time together so all her attention will be on you for once. You will see she does love you. Good luck. If you need anything else I am here.

bio

My advice is based on my experiences, my morals, my values and what I would do if I were the advice seeker. I always put myself in your shoes and look at all sides of the story. I love updates, so please inbox me to let me know how everything turned out because I worry about you! Some lessons I hope to teach all include: *Always stand up for what you believe in *Never give up *Fight for those who would fight for you *Don't hold back your feelings because you're afraid of getting hurt; you wind up getting hurt anyway *Don't follow your dreams- chase them *Appreciate the things you have *Always put others before yourself *It's always ok to feel, but it's not always ok how you react to those feelings *Learn from yesterday live for today and hope for tomorrow