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3 months and maybe too much too soon
I'm 17 and I'm' a girl....So me and this guy starting dating 3 months ago (he's my first serious boyfriend) and I really like him. We took it slow phyically but the last time I saw him we were making out and that lead to him almost fingering me. I stopped him before it got to that point but he was headed there and it scared me. I made a promise to God that I wouldn't have sex before I was married and I intend to keep that promise. I feel as though I should hate him and break up with him but he's such a sweet guy it's like I can't break up with him. He knows I've considered breaking it off and all he can do is be sweet about and tell me that it's my choice. Basically if I break it off I'm going to be the "bad guy" because he's just so sweet. From a christian perspective, because he tried should I break it off or not? I mean if the attraction between us is so strong that it is causing us to sin then should I be with someone that I cause to sin and they cause me to sin?
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i think breaking up with him would be wrong. you gotta be strong and try and resist temptation and make sure he knows that you want things to go slow and make sure he knows where you stand. me and my boyfriend have been together for about 6 months and we are just now starting to finger/hj and i dont plan on going farther any time soon. im also a strong christian maybe not as strong and i'd like to wait until marraige or close to it. i think that your intensions are good but just dont break up with him for it unless theres more to it.
I hope i helped some.
-Jenny
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Yes, you would be the bad guy if you broke up with him.
He stopped. Apparently without any fighting or being upset. He was understanding and as soon as you said no it sounds like he respected that.
A guy who is that mature and you want to throw him away? Stupid move.
Heres a newsflash honey. Running from him isnt going to get rid of your own desires and temptations. "If the attraction is so much that we might sin should I leave?"
Are you kidding? NO you should NOT leave. You should grow up just a bit and control yourself. If you dont want to have sex then DONT. You definitely arent mature enough for it regardless.
Waiting till marriage... well thats your choice. I don't agree, but I'm not going to argue it or anything because not all paths are meant for everyone.
But IF that is your decision don't throw away a decent guy because you realized what it is to be horny and it scares you a little. Being christian doesnt make you any less human or any less horny (unless you're just completely fucked in the head) and part of having morals is having the self control to uphold them.
Suck it up and stay with him.
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If he stopped when you asked him to and he is telling you it is your choice to break it off or not, then he better understands your religion and he respects you as a person and what you believe in. I think he is doin the right thing by not pressuring you into crossing your boundaries and by not pressuring you to stay with him if you choose to leave. For this, he has proven himself worthy and he is supporting your beliefs. You should stay with him.
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No, of corse not break-up with him ofr a simple
misstake. alothough he should respect your decision to wait.
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tell your bf about your promise and tell him he needs to respect that or it's over. simple as that then it's his choice and you have done nothing wrong aka your not the "bad guy". if he loves you and cares about you like he should he will say ok. you HAVE to lay down the line with guys. i have done it with my bf and every self-respecting girl should! tell him how far is too far and that you will have to break up with him if he doesnt respect you. thats all there is too it. hopefully everything goes well! hope i helped :] and if you have more ?'s leave me a message because i too have made a promise to God to save my virginity for my husband and i am in the same boat as you. only my bf has also made this promise and he is also a strong Christian.
Best of Luck!!! :]
HiChick
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Just a correction, Jesus was not born by two people having sex, hence the "Virgin Mary." It was a mistake on his part, he probably didn't know how serious your morals were, but there is no need for you to break up with him just because of that. Now that he knows how you feel about it, he won't do it again. It is not worth breaking up a great relationship because of that. If it happens again, however, and he knows about your morals and beliefs, then it would be the right time to break it off. But for now, I say cool down from the shock of it all, and keep it going.
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You're choice of not having sex before marriage, is your choice. If he really cared about you and wanted to be with you than he would accept that. Everybody does sexual things, so i guess everyone sins? Jesus was born by two people having sex. Doing other things besides have sex arent bad, just make sure he knows you don't want to go that far as to having sex. And if you are really uncomfortable with him doing sexual stuff to you then mabe you should break it off with him, unless he doesn't mind. Keep in mind most guy's are really sexual, it's just there nature. I guess you just have to find someone that has the same choices as you about you situation. Hope i helped, and if i didn't feel free to let me know. :D
Princess; Kaylaa
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