Mengers's advice column

askMengers

advice column ask question view feedback favorite columnist advicenators

Q: Ok i am the same one who said she was raped and didnt know how to tell her parents because I was to scared...well see the thing is i am to scared to do that because the guy who raped me was my 18 year old cuzin and he said he would kill me if he found out I told anyone and well since hes my cuzin he will find out that people know very quickly even if he just finds out i told someone i was raped he will find a way to kill me...i really have no clue what to do and I am so freaked out...plz help
thanks

Sounds to me like your life is at risk whether you tell or not. I would first get the cops involved but make sure you tell your parents, but it'd be safer to have the cops involved when you tell your parents that way, you are protected from your cousin from the beginning.

I can't really say what will happen after that, but I really think you're in danger either way and telling your parents and the police would be safer than just hoping your cousin won't kill you.

Q: do anyone wear mary kay makeup?

is it good or bad i heared it was for old people

It's for everyone, but I find it to be no better than the cheaper makeup you'll find at walmart and walgreens.

Q: sorry. this is a really weird question. my feet randomly get red and look sunburned, then like 30 min later turn back to normal. people make weird comments about it and i live in hawaii so i'm wearing slippers or barefoot a lot. especially cuz' its summer. so how do i get my feet to stay normal?

I have the same problem and hate to break it to you but you're doomed.

Now for those rude people who keep staring at your feet, next time they say something- point something out about them. You can say so in a mean or humorous way, it's up to you.

I personally like to tease my boyfriend for his ridiculously crooked(spell check?) teeth, whenever he points out any of my flaws.

Q: so im 13, female, and me and my boyfriend just began to go out. he has had many girlfriends before me, what im getting at is, he is experienced, and im not. i have only made out 1 time, and i dont think i did anything right.

i dont know what im supposed to do with my tongue?

i will rate 5's to anyone who answers decent.

sorry, i know this is a stupid question.

www.virtualkiss.com has a whole tutorial about kissing from lips to hands to head movement. It's impossible to read without giggling.

Q: okay, so ever since i came to my school, in second grade, this girl, we'll call her "teresa" has been my best friend. we could like write a book about eachother. sometimes i think she noes me better than i noe myself. haha! but, the thing is that ther were a whole bunch of new kids this year. one of them we'll call "melanie" and the other we'll call "claire". when melanie came into school, teresita was being her friendly self and started greeting all of the new kids and introducing herself etc, etc. so her and melanie supposedly become really close. oh, she can have a friend! but i couldnt make friends w/ another one of the new kids, which is claire. so, teresa, knowing that melanie calls me a bitch and kinda bullies me around. i mean, my gosh, she's a real bitch! but i mean, gosh, sumtimes i dont think i realize how much shit i take in from a lot people. im too nice to those those people. but thats just the way i am. the only way i can really blow my top is by writing here. i hardly ever get this way w/ people cuz im too shy to tell them off. but i put my foot down. im not taking crap from those people anymore! so, i tell teresa, right? i tell her that i'm sorry. but i cant be friends w/ sum1 thats friends w/ her b/c she is a serious bully. i mean, we've even had to talk 2 the principal about it b/c the girl is out of control! she thinks that she's hot stuff, and shes not even close to it! and its silly, at my age, it really is. im 14 yrs old and i just think that its really silly that i hav 2 talk 2 the principal @ this stage! but, the thing is that the school has its own network and its like my school e-mail. and she's sending horrible e-mails during school hours! so... yeah. it had to "be brought to the attention of authority" haha! anyways. and she IM's me such mean things, that i had to block her! and teresa is like nothing. hanging out w/ her, laughing. and everyone is accusing me of ditching her and hanging out w/ claire. just b/c teresa decides to go w/ a girl that cant stand my guts. i dont know how to explain this to her! people even told me that i had to choose between them and claire b/c they dont like claire. but u noe, its really stupid. b/c sum1 that i thot was a true friend, look wat she did to me, and this girl is just sum1 to hang out w/ since my friend ditched me! its like she's on her side. thats so unfair! i've always been ther for her! why duz she like melanie so much if she's that way w/ me? its really just annoying. please let me know what you think. i rate high!

I can't tell you what 'teresa' sees in 'melanie' but I can tell you what I've learned when I was in high school, and it's not a glamorous fairy tale.

People change, ESPECIALLY your friends. Some change for better, some only mildly change, and some change for the worse. I can't tell you the number of times I've pondered in confusion why someone chose the option they did, you'll see a lot more people make stupid choices as you continue through school.

You've talked to 'teresa', right? She has done nothing to help your situation, right? Sounds to me like she likes 'melanie' more.

I've witnessed a similar situation where the 'melanie' was actually just jealous of the girl she was bullying. In that case 'melanie' wanted to be best friends with 'teresa' and take 'teresa's' current bud out of the picture.

Well things are clear 'Melanie' doesn't want to sort things out, and if 'teresa' isn't helping, I suggest you move on. There'll be tough times, but things always get better after awhile.

So in a way, you have to choose but if 'teresa' isn't helping then I think it is safe to say that you don't have a choice.

Q: hey i was wondering if anybody knew that jergens natural glow daily moisturizer actually works no matter the skin tones and how long does it take for it to work.-thank you

It oranged me baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad and it's the same as sunless tanning lotion, no moisturizing fun :(.

Q: ohkay, i have this huge problem.. last night i bought a bathing suit for the pool party im having tonight and i just realized there is some huge thing that says "WARNING tampering will break glass and cause ink to leak out" I paid for it nd everything but the lady didnt take it off! taking it back to the store cant be done so what do i do!!!!!

Why can't you take it back? When that happened to me I just brought it back and they took it off for me, I left with it again and everyone was happy!

Get a simple cheap one from Wal-Mart if you got $20, and you will be ready to swim happily.

Q: what age do you think is appropriate to have sex? 18?

I advise people to wait til after high school. Your life, views and opinions change dramatically and you may end up regretting some things you did in high school.

Other than that, just when you're ready but do be careful. Sex has consequences but usually if you don't wait til you're ready such as financial stand.

Q: Okay me and my boyfriend have been dating for 10 months now. Well I've stayed at he's house for the past 2 weeks straight, only been home 2x. My boyfriend loves that I stay there. He feels closer to me and he loves that feelings of having me around to make him happy and when he wakes up he LOVES to see my face sleeping next to hes..but ya whatever I have a problem though. He's little brother is really mean to me (only when he's friends are around) and he says I look like shit and I need to go home this isnt my house and im lazy and just bullshit. Plus he has a friend named trevor which is ALWAYS ALWAYS around him and he never leaves. he acts like its hes house and he tries to tell me to leave but i've been around way longer than him and I hate it soooo much, but im not going to go home because my boyfriend don't want me to..so what should I do about the other 2 guys and don't say "try to ignore them" cause trust me i have already tried that many of times.

REVENGE!! I'm constantly in the same situation with my bf, not exact same but his friends choose to hate me 'cuz they don't get their way with my bf. Ignoring doesn't work 'cuz they probly gripe behind your back as well, and boyfriends rarely put their foot down to friends and family (unless you're dating mr. perfect) I just give their evil dose back in pairs and they've backed off to only talking behind my back. I'm not proud but nothing else worked and well they fear me now. Pretty cool power if you ask me!

Do keep this as a last resort tho, there are consequences if your revenge actions aren't effective. And if your worried about your what your bf will think, mine didn't care at all he knew his friends had it coming and what straight guy would rather hang with his friends than a hott woman like us?!

Q: Okay I was suppose to have my period a long time ago. I got of my period and then started my other round of BC. Well I used ONE WHOLE CIRCLE THINGY UP and still wasnt on my period so i started to freak. But I called my health doctor and she said just take another round of pills. SO I started and then after about 15days to late my period came. It only lasted 3 days and the first day was VERY VERY heavy then it went lower the other 2 days til it was all gone. Im to afraid to ask my doctor if I could be pregnant. I'm going tomorrow to get more birth control. Yesterday is when I completely stopped and finished my period. Should I try the shot or something else? What should I tell my dad? My doctor lied and told my dad that I could have a infection and the birth control will help it be smaller so he believed that-but I don't like taking hte pill and the patch was kind of gay when i took it before the pills. I don't know what to take. Please help!!!

I don't mean to disagree with charmed_cherry but I've known a few ladies to be on their period during pregnancy. Maybe they were screwed up, I never really asked.

Check with your local clinic, mine tests for pregnancy for free. If you are pregnant, you have no choice but to tell your dad, letting him figure it out on his own would only make it worse. If not, express your concerns to your doctor again, only he/she can answer all of your questions and hopefully put your worries to rest.

Edit: I got a second and third opinion, one said you can't have your period if your pregnant, the other said what I said. I would suggest you double check with a professional, also your irregular period could be a sign of an ulsar but if your doctor never mentioned that then you should be in the clear.

Q: I wanna be more girly. Thats all thats 2 it.

Thanx

no matter how stylish you dress you'll never quite reach girly. Hair and makeup is a factor too but you'll still look a lil bit plain. Trust me I've tried... the key is accessorizing! Go to a Claire's boutique and get necklaces, bracelets, brooches, and anything sparkly for hair accessories, just don't go over board and you'll be chic!

Q: I am sick to death of my brothers!!! I have 3 brothers and no sisters. Since it's summer break, i have to put up with them all day every day. Most of my friends are on vacation. I can't invite anyone to my house because my mom just had surgery and can't handle it. I'm allowed to go to somebody else's house, but I can't just say "Hey, can I come over to your house?" So basically my question is: How can I put up with my brothers all summer?!?
HELP!
P.S.--- My family can't go anywhere cause my dad is in NC and my mom can't drive because of her surgery.

Well I don't know your exact dilemma, such as sharing bedrooms, where your television(s) is/are located, if you have computer access, and if your brothers are going out of their way to bug you.

I find that excluding myself from annoying siblings to be best. That is how I found web design, I was bored out of my mind and sick of my family, so I just sat on the computer all day everyday and everyone just let me be.

Pick out a hobby or a book. You could also see if any of your friends that are in town want to go to the local swimming pool with you, that way you won't be imposing and you can get ease your way into hanging out at their place.

Hope I helped, have a good summer!

Q: i was friends with this girl in 5th and 6th grade, when we got into 7th we grew apart. now we just graduated from 9th grade, and were talking again. we made plans for her to come over this coming wendsday, i need sum ideas for sumthing to do, this will be our first time hanging out since the 6th grade. i dont want it to be awkward.
ill rate 5s

Well it's always good to have yearbooks and old pictures ready, just incase you two get past the awkwardness to think of the old days. I don't know many people who would turn down junk food and a rental movie and bad mouthing teachers always creates a connection! I hope I helped you out a lil bit. Good luck with your get-together!

Q: My parents and my friend's parents are not getting along at this current moment. ..and well ever since 2 weeks ago, the phone calls have stopped...and I guess I miss talking to her..usually, i would call her constantly..like everyday..and like my mom told me to stop to give her some time to herself..well it's been 2 wks..what more time can she have?? I have too much pride to call over now because it's been too long and it'd be awkward..she only calls me if I call her first..so idk what to do because I wanna talk to her..should I give it up and get over myself or wait for her to call or put my pride down? Thanks

I've seen this happen before and it is very frustrating. My lil sister's (now ex)boyfriend's mother almost got my mom arrested. To make a long story short, they're still friends but they don't hang out as much because of the matter.

As for the phone call, just do it, what do you got to lose? Not calling would only guarantee an end to your friendship.

As far as parents go, I would think hanging out with group of friends (with your friend included) would be ok with them, but that really is up to them.

Q: i am in the process of writing some songs. I think that they suck. And i need advice on how i can make them better. I cant ever find anything 2 rhyme with anything. If you get what im saying i need some help or tips on writing songs!

Rhyming dictionaries are the perfect solution! I'm not a serious song writer, but making songs off the top of my head and writing goofy lymericks (with the rhymin dictionary ofcourse) really helps me make good material.

Q: Hey! You know binary?!

Actually I do. Not by heart tho. I usually need to look some things up. I have been working on a program to automatically translate for me, but due to college and other responsibilites I am not done. Other people have beaten me to builing theirs. You can find them by searching 'binary translator' in google.

P.S. The binary code you see says 'Mengers' without any spacing.

bio

I've been building programs and web sites since I was 12, but don't think I'm an expert! I may be technology advanced but I'm far from G33k!

I'd like to say I have common sense, but that is for you to decide!

I'll do everything I can to help, and I am not afraid to tell anyone when I am not capable of answering your question; so you have no need to worry about me BSing my wisdom.