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My name is Elly and I am 18 years old. I live in Michigan and I graduated High School in '07. I'm currently attending a great college, but I'm home for the summer. It's too nice outside to sit on the computer all day, so I might not be as active on here as I would like.I guess a good way to describe me is experienced. I've discovered a lot about life and I can't wait to discover more... while having fun at the same time of course! ...BUT, like everyone, I have experienced things in life that I rather wish I hadn't. And I also feel that those bad experiences qualify me to help others with this column.
I have been in a serious relationship for over two and a half years now. I personally know that love is a difficult thing to nurture. It takes a lot of work. Life is NOT a fairytale where two people can simply love each other and everything will just fall into place. It doesn't work like that in the real world.
People on Advicenators are starting to disappoint me. Everyone says "ooh I want to help! I've experienced EVERYTHING!" Yet, I can't tell you how many questions I see with answers like "you could have googled that" or "we're not going to do your homework" or "I'm so sick of 'wow does he like me?!' questions." I used to sort of be like that, but now I realize how hypocritical that is. If I know the answer to a question, I will answer to the best of my ability without making you feel stupid for asking it in the first place. Advicenators is going to turn into a pretty nasty place if people just keep brushing off questions like that.
Rate or don't rate. I really don't care. But don't give me a 1 just because I tell you something you don't want to hear. Go to your mom for advice if you want sugarcoated answers.
I can give excellent advice on:
relationships/sex
friendship
family issues
anything about animals (i worked at a vet for several years)
college
advice
whats some good long lasting, fairly cheap. eyeliner?
i want it to last the entire school day and come in black.
links would be greatly appreciated.
or stores where to buyyyy.
Liquid eyeliner, when used correctly, is capable of lasting an entire day. Wet n' Wild has some cute liquid eyeliner you can try. You can get it at CVS, Walgreens, or any department store really. Depending on the size you get, it could be anywhere from $3 to $8 I would suppose.
My sister and her friend (they're 14 years old in middle school) asked me if they could go to a friend's house at 11:00 tonight. I asked them about it, and they said that they would go to a guy's house who's also 14. He lives about a 10 minute walk away from our house. They don't want me to tell our mom.
Basically, I said no. My sister and her friend told me that the guy's parents don't know about it and that they would WALK there. I explained that 2 girls outside at 11pm is very dangerous. So they asked if I could drive them (I'm 16). I said no to that because no parents know about it, and I just don't have a good feeling about it (I don't think they'd have sex, I just think something bad will happen, like get caught).
My sister doesn't understand because earlier this year, I came home from a party because of my 11pm curfew, but I went back to the party til 12am when I found out that my mom was asleep. I think that these are completely different situations: there were parents at the party who knew about the party, my mom was drunk that night so she wouldn't get mad, and I wouldn't be walking.
Did I do the right thing by telling my sister and her friend that they couldn't go tonight?
Yes, you did the right thing. Good for you! Your sister doesn't need to be sneaking out to see boys at fricken 11:00 at night. There's no reason that she and her friend can't see the boy during the day. It's good to follow your gut feeling. Your sister is lucky to have a role model like you.
If I go to a salon and ask to get my eyebrows shaped. Do they show you pictures or uh, stencils to chose from? Or do they go off on their own?
Do they shape eyebrows well? Because I had big bushy eyebrows and I overplucked.. for about 2 years. I stoppped and I'm growing them out. They are odd little creatures on my face. Not all that feminine..
What is better? Salon or beauty college ?
Stylists are professionals and know the best ways to shape your eyebrows, so they usually go off on their own. However, if you did have a certain shape in mind, bring a picture and talk to the stylist about it. You can get them shaped anywhere from a hair salon to most nail places.
After you talk about the shape you want, they will wax the unwanted hair away and will show you how to keep that shape from that day on. I prefer getting my eyebrows done at the hair salon, esp. if I'm already there getting my hair done because while they're shampooing my hair they can just take care of it while I'm at the sink.
It really depends on what you're comfortable with.
hey ppl! well, i'm 14/f, and i have a problem. when i was about... 11 i think, i wanted to start shaving my legs. well, my mom didn't think i was old enough to shave with an actual razor, so she got me an electric razer thing. well, now i'm 14 and that electric razer does just not cut it. it doesn't get all of the hair off my legs. i want a razor, but i don't think my mom will let me. does that stuff by suave or whatever work? its the stuff kinda like nair. with the bladeless razor. idk what to do. help! thanx!!
I've heard only bad things about Nair. I suggest you just stick to shaving until you have your own income (i'm assuming you don't have a job). When you make your own money, you can dry different bladeless hair removal products.
You're 14 years old, I don't see why your mom wouldn't let you purchase a real razor. If she does refuse though, just ask your mom for a few bucks, idk say you're going to the movies or something, and have a friend take you to the store and buy a razor and some shaving cream. Skintimate is a great brand of creme, plus it smells good. A good razor to try is venus.
Ok on my roll on anti perspirant it says, APLLY SPARINGLY. How many strokes do i ut on each arm then?
Don't apply any more than two strokes once a day.
-EDIT-
It's because when you use it too much, you can get cancer. That's all. Plus, I'm sure there's other warnings about it on the label.
okay. im flat. like i take a 30 A. well thats what my bra says. but like. that one is kinda small and i need a better one. i was thinking victoria secrets but i dont know what size i would be, and would they carry my size? i want a push up and padded. but i have no idea if they would have my size and like.. i guess i have to ask them to measure me cuz im lost.
adivcee?
The women that work at Victoria's Secret are extremely helpful and will measure you right there in the store. Then, you just show them which bras you want to try on and they will bring you your size in that bra and you'll get a fitting room. Vic. Secret carries all bra sizes from a AA to a DDD. Don't worry they'll have your size.
I've always wondered how couples make their relationship last. How do 2 people stay together for 2 years & still be so happy with each other? I understand that it takes love but there's gotta be something else to it. So if anyone can share how they have made things last, I would really appreciate it.
My relationship has lasted as long as it has with honesty, patience, and trust. We've had PLENTY OF FIGHTS... but the important thing to getting through those fights is being able to understand where the other is coming from and we are able to talk through the situation. It's a wonderful thing to be able to do that with someone.
Also, in my relationship, my boyfriend and I were best friends BEFORE we went out. That's important if you want to have a good relationship with someone. My boyfriend has taught me many things about myself and knows everything about me. He's allowed me to realize how stubborn I can be and that helped me to get along better with my mom. Sure, he is my boyfriend, but he's also my BEST FRIEND. There's so much more to a realtionship than kissing and having sex. It's pure understanding.
Another reason relationships last so long could be if the two partners place the value of intimacy higher above most other things in the relationship, meaning basically if they had sex with their partner, they feel extremely bonded with them and close. Some people actually have sex with their partner only because they want to be with them for a long time.
Another thing that's imnportant is to make sure you aren't seeing each other EVERY SINGLE DAY! Sure, when you start dating, you'll want to be together all the time for the first month or so, but after that, it gets really boring. So it's important to save time for other people in your life. And when you do see your boyfriend after a few day break, you'll be happier to see him.
And one more thing, it helps if your families get along, or that you have met your partner's parents and your partner has met yours. That makes it more comfortable to bring your partner along on family trips or have him at home to hang out.
Honestly I could go on and on. Relationships like that are truly once in a lifetime. If everyone was able to have a relationship like that the world would be a much better place.
Hey..my boyfriend and i are pretty serious. we have a 13 month history..took a couple month break but we are good now. we are both 18. just today we saw a WWE wrestling show and of course the beautiful divas were prancing around in basically nothing with theit whole thongs showing. my bf was lovvvving this..took pictures, he got the S.I Swimsuit edition today, likes his porn videos,and tonight after the show asked how i would feel if he went to a strip club! i feel weird about it.he says its normal and i guess it is..i guess its ok..its not like hes cheating..any input?
Honey, you're waaaay more lenient than I am in that subject. I got jealous when I saw a picture of a girl on my boyfriend's computer from his favorite movie. And she was wearing decent clothes! But I consider myself unfair at times. I worry about him looking at other girls because if he did, I would feel like I wasn't good enough for him.
But your boyfriend's pretty much right. Watching porn and getting those stupid magazine's are considered normal to a guy. Some girls consider it cheating, and some don't. It depends on how you feel about it. If it bothers you that much, it shouldn't be too much to ask of his to ease up on looking at other naked chicks. AT LEAST stop going to strip clubs. That's the worst. Tell him if he has dirty magazines, whatever, but you don't want to see them.
Him asking you if it's ok to let another girl give him a lap dance is completely ridiculous. Again, if your boyfriend really wants to go to srip clubs when he's out with his friends, either you don't want him to or you don't want to know about it. Plain and simple.
Just do whatever YOU are comfortable with. There's no point in being with a guy who'd rather go to a strip club than spend time with his girlfriend.
hey, when is the best time to apply for college and take the ACTs or SATs?
Also, I heard about you can take college courses over the summer to help your high school or collee credits (not sure which). How do you do that and how can I sign up for it?
They had a meeting about it at my high school that was mandatory to get the info, but I was unable to go due to transportation problems, and I tried going to local college websites, but found nothing. Do I have a chance? If so, where can I go to find that out? Maybe my school counselor, perhaps?
please help!!
ACTs and SATs should be taken as soon as possible in your junior year. It also helps to take it at least twice so you can try for a better score. As for the summer college courses, if you couldn't find anything online, call the college in which you want to take the classes at and ask to speak with a counselor about the topic. Most colleges offer very few summer courses that are useful in long run. It depends which college you choose.
And since you missed the meeting, there should be no problem getting the information from your school office. I'm sure they have brochures and numbers you can call for more info.
Ok is there a way I can NOT have bad breath in the morning other then like brushing every three hours? My class is going camping and I just have TERRIBLE breath in the morning. Not like normal which is just pretty bad but ok, just so bad. It's worse then a skunk! (seriously I smelled a skunk b4 and it didn't even smell that bad for me)
Gum. Mints. Mouthwash. Anything works really. My fav. kind of mouthwash is ACT Bubblegum. It tastes really good and it's easy to keep in your mouth for a full minute (like some mouthwashes, like Listerine, are really intense and burn your mouth). Trident White is a good gum. It lasts a long time and it whitens your teeth without leaves a gross after-taste.
The point is, once you wake up, the best way to get rid of bad breath is to get your mouth moving. You get bad breath while sleeping because your mouth is inactive at night and it allows bacteria to settle in there. So right when you get up, have a bite to eat, brush your teeth right away, or try one of the suggestions I gave above.
My dog has a trouble with biting,he is just a puppy, and he is only play biting but i dont want him to get used to biting, so what do i do?
Everytime he tries to bite you, firmly push him away and say NO. If that doesn't work, get a small spray bottle and spritz him in the face with water every time he bites. That will annoy him and teach him that it's bad to bite (I have been told this by a professional dog-trainer and have done this with my pets. It works.). In the meantime, make sure he has lots of toys to play with and chew on so he won't get distracted with fingers. Remember, puppies usually bite because they are teething and it hurts them.
i am seventeen and a virgin.
can anyone who has had one tell me what an orgasm feels like. i heard they feel really good. any explanation??
While you're having sex, or being pleasured in any other way, your muscles get extremely tensed up. An orgasm happens when you reach the climax of pleasure and all your muscles relax at once. You feel completely calm and at ease (and a bit out of breath lol!). They're fun! I hope you get one with someone you love!
ok well this guy i used to go out with broke up with me a long time ago. well a few nights ago i told him i still liked him and he said he still likes me too. well on his buddy info he says that he is scared to ask me out and i am scared to ask him out. we have been talkin ever since we both found out we liked each other and we have a great time talkin to each other. we both really like each other but i am scared to ask him out. what should i do
Instead of just jumping into a relationship, why not be friends first so you too can get to know each other better and catch up on what you've missed in each other's lives. Once you two are better acquainted, asking him out will be no problem at all. Good luck!
does guilt have anything to do with why girls might not eat what they would like to? i'm a guy and don't get this idea of cutting calories like crazy. i'm curious to know if things have always been this way or if it is just a craze. it bothers me to hear some of my friends that are girls talk about ways to burn calories and other stuff. i don't have a problem with that at all, but lately its all i hear my friends and even my family talk about. what is the big deal and what do i say to my friends if they bring it up with me?
You see, there's this big wave sweeping the earth called the "Health Craze." Everyone wants to be in shape. Everyone wants to eat the right foods. Everyone just wants to be healthy, which really is a good thing. Everyone has their own eating habits and whether or not you decide to have a reduced calorie intake is up to you.
A big reason girls eat healthy is because they want to be skinny to impress guys. It's a sad reason, but it's motivating.
If someone brings it up with you, just be honest about it. You don't think it's that big of a deal and you're happy with the way your eating habits are.
So I'm getting a hair curler, but I don't know what size to get. 1/2 inch, 1 inch, 2 inch? So could you send me links to pictures of curly hair, and tell me what size was used to get them?? Thanks
It really depends on what kind of curls you want. If you want tight, bouncy curls, get the smaller size. If you want soft, loose curls, go for the bigger size.
do i have a yeast infection if my discharge is whiteishh or is that normal. oh yah and there is not itching or burning.
No no that's completely normal. Discharge comes in all sorts of thicknesses and colors. The only cause for worry would be if it DOES itch or burn.
hey there,
does anyone know what i can do to my hair to make it less staticy? like is there a special product i should use on it?
if it helps its straight and like relaxed? idk i usually run it through the straightner. but ahh i need something good for my hair. cuz if i dont add anything its like really frizzy and staticy and if i do its greasy! so i need helP!!
also what would you say is the best self tanner? or anything that will bring life to my face?
thank you!
A good way to stop to stop static is to take a sheet of fabric softener and run it through your hair. It's easy to just keep a few in your purse for whenever you need it.
As for the frizz, a straightner helps, but it works best when you pair it up with a good product. Try MegaSilk or FrizzEase. You could also ask your stylist which product is best specifically for you.
While your hair is wet, spray on the product and blow your hair dry first. THEN add no more than one or two spritz of the same product and straighten each individual section of hair. Make sure when you use the straightener you take your time and move in SLOWLY or else it won't work as well.
A tip for stopping the greasiness is to make sure you add product WHILE IT'S WET!!! And if you do have to add it while it's dry, only use a TINY TINY bit.
Good luck!
This one guy at school always makes me feel very uncomfortable. He comes into my class when it's not even his class to harass me. He says things like, ooo she is so hot, I'd like to have her in bed, I wonder what she would sound like and than he moans really loudly.He was even like, watch her ass cheeks swing back and forth. Worse yet, he has like 5 guys who backed him up laughing and saying yeah. I know he was being mean about it. But either way, I still dont deserve to be treated like that if I dont want to be. I was to afraid to tell the teacher in fear of being called a rat or it being even worse. I dont want to jump down in the gutter with him and I dont want to fight. I thought things would get better in high school, but really it's not. It seems worse. All I want to do is go to learn, and get my diploma. Thats it. What should I do? Im a sophmore in high school
You need to tell a teacher AND a principal IMMEDIATLY. This is a HUGE deal! Especially since he has other guys backing him up. That stupid prick should be suspended from school. You should NEVER be afraid to turn to adults in your school for help. So what if they call you a rat? You've done NOTHING WRONG AT ALL. You don't even have to acknowledge him. Just tell an adult you trust what he's been doing and then ignore him.
My personal way of dealing with it would be to get him alone lead him on, and then grab his crotch as hard as I could and tell him if he EVER says stuff about me like that again I'd rip it off. But then again, that could get YOU in trouble and you don't need that. That's why the world is so unfair these days.
Seriously, though, sexual harassment is a BIG BIG deal. No one deserves to be treated that way and as soon as your principal finds out, that guy could face something as serious as expulsion and so could the guys going along with it, so make sure to give the adult all the guy's names who have done it.
18/f
This guy from my theatrical make-up class committed suicide 2 weeks ago, and I feel like I am at least some to blame for it.
he was older, like 23 I think, and he was always nice to me, but very annoying, and several girls in our dept. said that he was like a big time stalker.
After class about 3 days before he did it, I was sitting in front of the library trying to study for this test, and he just came up and started talking to me, and just ignored that I was trying to study. He started telling me how last spring he and his fiance had broken up because she had an abortion, and the girl is in 2 of my other classes; so I really didn't want to know that, even if I don't talk to her. Then he told me how she had taken like the only copy of some really special picture of him from when he was in high school and she took a crap on it and flushed it down the toilet. Again...I didn't want to know that. So, then he gave me this pic of her and asked if I would do the same thing to her pic. So I could get back to studying, I said "Sure, I promise that I will.", threw the pic into my book, and he left.
So, then he adds me as a Facebook, LJ, and myspace friend, and calls me at my dorm room even though I didn't give him my number, and my idiot roommate gives him my cell number! Now this guy was always telling everybody "Just be honest with me about how you feel-tell me yourself if you don't want to talk to me." But I couldn't-he hadn't really done anything wrong, but he was majorly creeping me out. Like I was constantly looking over my shoulder and all.
So I had one of my guy friends who hasn't came out of the closet yet call him pretending to be my bf and tell him to leave me alone, and I blocked him on facebook, myspace, and LJ.
He called me at like 2 am when our class started at 8 that morning, and I didn't take the call and deleted the message w/o ever listening to it. Towards the end of our class, this campus cop walked in and whispered something to our prof, and she started crying. They had just found his body outside of his dorm after he had jumped.
Now I feel all guilty because I didn't take his call, and I just found that picture that he gave me today, and he has turned my life into a nightmare this past 2 weeks. I was just in his class-why did he do this to me? This is my first year of college and my first time away from home, and this is just so much. I feel like I may as well have killed him b/c of what I did...Am I wrong to feel this way?
These feelings are completely normal. The man made you uncomfortable and you handled the situation whte way you thought was best. You would have NEVER intentionally caused this man to hurt himself. He may have had some mental problems and needed help.
I think it would be best for you to see a counselor about these feelings. Death is a hrd thing to deal with when you feel it directly affects you this way. I am sure there is a counselor somewhere on campus you can speak with and don't be afraid to lean on your friends, and family esp., for support at this time.
Best of luck.
I’m 14 and I’m really pissed because I have next to no decent clothes. I’m not exactly wealthy, but my family’s *far* from being poor. Okay, I have about 8 blouses that I’ve collected through the years, two skirts and two pairs of jeans that fit, and that’s it. My mom grew up in a really poor part of Asia and immigrated here about 15 years ago, but even still, she has no idea what teenage girls are like. I asked her to let me get a nice pair of shorts from American Eagle (which was $40) and she got really mad and gave me this lecture about how I should be thankful that I have any clothes at all because when she grew up, she only had, like, two pairs of cotton pants throughout most of her childhood, and how she breaks her back trying to support our family and I’m just being a greedy spoiled brat. She refuses to buy me any article of clothing over $30. What makes me even more mad is that she still buys $50 worth of earrings for herself (she gets loads of really cheap jewelry on those TV jewelry channels) when she doesn’t NEED any new jewelry, yet she won’t let me buy a $40 pair of shorts.
The worst part about all this is the other kids at school. I go to one of those expensive private schools and all of the other girls at my school who have entire wardrobes filled with those fancy designer clothes from stores like Abercrombie, Hollister, American Eagle, etc. I feel really ashamed next to everyone else because I don’t have many nice clothes at all. While all of these girls make monthly shopping sprees, I’m allowed two shopping trips a year. But even during these shopping trips, I can hardly find anything under $30 because nothing ever fits. Seriously, I’m way too skinny….my waistline is like, 22 inches and my hips are 27 inches. No, I’m not anorexic, it’s just the way I am. I don’t need any eating advice or anything, because there’s no way I’m going to diet and put on weight just to wear clothes. My pants size is 00 and my shirt size is XXS, and the only stores that carry anything flattering for really skinny people in those sizes are the expensive places, like Abercrombie. I would’ve ordered things online, but my mom doesn’t believe in shopping online-----she’s afraid someone will steal her credit card number.
I know this question might make me seem whiny and ungrateful and vain and spoiled because there are people dying in Darfur and I’m concerned about a pair of shorts, but still, it really makes me feel bad that I’m the only person in
What should I do about this? I tried talking to my dad, but he won’t make her understand. She’s got a one-track mind.
My only advice would be to get a job and pay for the clothes yourself. Then you'll see what your mom is talking about. You can get a job babysitting or maybe as a dishwasher that can earn you some decent money. That way you can spend it on the clothes you need and your mom won't be able to interfere.