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My name is Elly and I am 18 years old. I live in Michigan and I graduated High School in '07. I'm currently attending a great college, but I'm home for the summer. It's too nice outside to sit on the computer all day, so I might not be as active on here as I would like.I guess a good way to describe me is experienced. I've discovered a lot about life and I can't wait to discover more... while having fun at the same time of course! ...BUT, like everyone, I have experienced things in life that I rather wish I hadn't. And I also feel that those bad experiences qualify me to help others with this column.
I have been in a serious relationship for over two and a half years now. I personally know that love is a difficult thing to nurture. It takes a lot of work. Life is NOT a fairytale where two people can simply love each other and everything will just fall into place. It doesn't work like that in the real world.
People on Advicenators are starting to disappoint me. Everyone says "ooh I want to help! I've experienced EVERYTHING!" Yet, I can't tell you how many questions I see with answers like "you could have googled that" or "we're not going to do your homework" or "I'm so sick of 'wow does he like me?!' questions." I used to sort of be like that, but now I realize how hypocritical that is. If I know the answer to a question, I will answer to the best of my ability without making you feel stupid for asking it in the first place. Advicenators is going to turn into a pretty nasty place if people just keep brushing off questions like that.
Rate or don't rate. I really don't care. But don't give me a 1 just because I tell you something you don't want to hear. Go to your mom for advice if you want sugarcoated answers.
I can give excellent advice on:
relationships/sex
friendship
family issues
anything about animals (i worked at a vet for several years)
college
advice
Hi
Im a 15 year old Male from the UK
I found out my dad watches porn when i was about 12. I found this out because i was just looking through some videos to put on and found a tape with porn on it. The really bad thing is.. my friends were also there :(. 2 of them to be precise. We watched some of it.. to.. you know.. and they asked me. "where the hell did that come from?", i said, "it must be my Dads". The reason i said that was because i had'nt watched porn, my mum doesnt watch porn. So it must have been my Dad. Now at school my 'friends' all pick on me and say my Dad watches porn etc. and it really hurts my feelings because i just wish i could turn back time and have said it was mine or something. My confidence on finding a girlfriend in school has dropped because my 'friends' might tell them my dad watches porn and then they will call me and my Dad a perve. . If i could get some advice on what to do with this, that would be nice.
Thanks
Tell your friends to grow up. So what if your dad watches porn? That's none of their business. I think it's time for you to get some new friends if they upset you so much. Besides, when you do get a girlfriend, I'm sure you'll want to be with someone that is caring and won't judge you based on what your father does. Everyone acts like watching porn is this big evil thing and it's not. As long as you tell your friends that it's not funny when they say things like that and don't let it bother you, they will stop.
I've heard a lot about dental dams when giving a girl oral sex. If all you are doing is sucking on the clitoris is it alright NOT to use a dental dam? I'm the only guy that my girlfriend has ever been with and she's the only girl that I've ever been with and we've been together for over 4 years. Thank you.
If neither of you have had other sexual partners, you won't be able to catch any diseases.
Today I was searching on my boyfriend's video playlist, and I discovered about 4, maybe 5 pornographic videos...I confronted him about it, and he broke down, saying he had forgotten about them, and that they had been there before we started dating...I think believe him...but I'm still not sure what to think...any thoughts?
Thank you...
There are very few guys left out there that don't have porn on their computer. Since you confronted him about it, it obviously bothers you, which is understandable. Just trust him for now when he says they were there before. And even if they weren't, it's not like he's cheating on you. Now that he knows that it bothers you, he will be more careful to not let you find those kinds of things. As for you, respect his privacy. If he wants to have porn, there's no reason why he shouldn't be able to as long as you don't have to see it. Fair enough, right?
i hate my job with a passion. Like i seriously get depressed thinking about going to work. I get yelled at all the time, i work ith none of my friends, everyone i work with is so annoyingly bossy and takes there job TOOOO seriously. I like the job because its the only one that will revolve around my schedule plus i make about 35 bucks a night on tips and 6 bucks an hour ontop of that so im making about 60 bucks a night for 5 hours work. What would you do? would you quit? Would you try harder? PLUS i always get yelled at cuz everyone thinks i suck..
You didn't say how old you were, but I'm assuming you're in your teens. Correct me if I'm wrong. Since you are only in your teens, I'm sure you don't plan on working there for the rest of your life. Everyone has crappy jobs. It's just something you have to do. Just look at the positive sides of it: 1) you're making GREAT money and 2) you won't be there forever and 3) it doesn't cut into your daily schedule.
If you are upset about people yelling at you, make an appointment with your boss and tell him/her that it makes you really upset when they yell. At most, he/she will point out some things you could change while you're working to do a better job and then tell the other people to leave you alone. If you are a good worker, your boss will take care of this because he/she wouldn't want you to quit.
I do agree that no one deserves to be yelled at constantly while they're simply trying to earn a living, but instead of quitting, talk with your co-workers and see if you can work through the issues and then keep your well-paying job.
Ok i have a roll on Certain Dri anti perspirant and it's different then other anti perspirants because you wear it only before bed time so it can shrink your armpit pores while you're sleeping.
Does that mean it can be ok to wear on my face?
No, don't use it on your face if it's meant for your armpits. Even if it's not dangerous, you'll probably break out from it. If you want to shrink the pores on your face, hover your face above a bowl of steaming hot water mixed with mint leaves. The steam will shrink your pores.
I can't seem to find anything for my myspace layout that really gives me what I want. I know I'm being fussy but I want my myspace to just be me if you know what I mean. But anyway I've sat for hours trying to find it. but i can't. but I have some good ideas for making my own but when i go to one of those layout generators it doesn't do it right. it usually repeats the image or makes the image small.
If anyone knows how to make a very detailed layout then tell me because trust me-right now-time is not an issue thanks for reading all of this and thanks in advance for your advice! :)
http://www.layoutgeneratormyspace.com/
I had the same problem as you and this website totally helped me out. I hope it works for you too!
My boyfriend told me he loved me the other day.
And I froze because I don't love him back.
What should I have said, and what should I say in the future when I still don't love him and he says it again?
If you don't love him, then the best thing to do is obviously not to say it back. When he says he loves you, just smile at him. If he grows concerned, just assure him that you still have feelings for him, but you are not in love at this point in your relationship. If he's a good guy, he will let you decide your true feelings on your own without obsessing over it.
My bf told my friend that he was gonna kiss me tomarrow!!! I am excited, but scared cuz this is my first time. I don't want to make out with him, but i do want it to be hot and romantic lol well anyways i could use all the tips i can get (it will come naturally doesnt help) Also we are going out with a group of people. How can we get away from the crowd to kiss. Also I want to hold his hand, but I want it to look casual. How can I just hold his hand without like grabbing his hand. P.S. We are going to see a friends hockey game.
Thanks for your help :)
When you're with him, keep brushing your hand against his and he'll get the hint that you want to hold hands. And when he does hold your hand, sensually rub the top of his hand with your fingers. It's cute and guys love it! As for kissing, just before he does it, run your tongue over your lips slightly so they will be smooth and moist. Gently peck his lips, pull away, and smile at him. I don't think a quick kiss at a hockey game can be hot and romantic, but it can be cute and loving. Good luck!
I usually know how to spell, but for some reason, I don't know how to spell today.
Am I spelling 'cliche' right?
I mean it looks right, but I don't know. Help?
Yea it's right. I looked it up in the dictionary. Perhaps the reason it looks wrong is because the "e" on the end is supposed to have a slash over it.
19/F
okay i know that if you have a cold sore and you suck a guy off you can give him herpes. but if you have a sore throut[sp] can you still give him that??
No he can't get anything from that, but I doubt it's good for you to give head while you have a sore throat.
this summer im going 2 sleepaway camp and my ex-bf is gnna b there w/ all his friends from out of town and i know they are going to ask me abut going out with him like im talking to this guy on the phone and hesone of my ex's friends and hes like "so i heard ya went out w/ ____" and i was like "uch dont remind me" because it was all pretty much lies but if i was in his spot i wouldent want him to say that about me! and these are his friends like he is trying to impress them and everything and so ow do i respond? how do i say it was nice while it was hapening without sounding like i want him back because i dont!
You don't have to answer to any of them. You're going to camp to have fun... not deal with your ex's friends. If they ask you, all you have to say is, "It ended for a reason." Just focus your attention on having fun while you're there and try not to worry about it. It's none of their business. You two broke up for a reason and there's no reason for them to be bothering you about it now.
I keep getting cavities and I never had any until about 2 years ago. I have braces (for a little over a year) and I brush my teeth about 3, if not more, times a day. I hate flossing because it hurts my gums and causes them to bleed. And when I was kid I used to eat a lot more candy than I do now.
What can I do to prevent cavities? I really can't stand getting them drilled or the feeling of having one.
thanks
Trust me: when you have braces, you NEED to floss. The more you start flossing, the less it will bleed and it won't hurt as much. When I had braces, it caused me to get a lot more cavities because the braces makes it harder for you to brush certain areas. Go to a CVS, Walgreens, Department store.... pretty much anywhere that sells toothbrushes, and buy something called a "Water Pick". Just ask the person who's working there and they can help you find one in the store. It's like a little toothbrush head that you use before or after brushing and it squirts your teeth with water. It helps wash away any excess food.
ok im dating this girl and we are doing good
but i meet this other girl that im inlove with and i feel like losing my love for my gf
what should i do?
You need to decide which girl makes you happier. If you really are "in love" with the other girl, then there's obviously no point in staying with your current girlfriend.
I don't usually get pimples, but when I do, it's minor.. just a couple of small ones on the t-zone (usually when I get my period).. but lately I broke out more than usual because of high stress levels (loads of research) and since I'm about to get my period. It didn't help that I popped a couple of them- now tiny ones are popping up. I'd say i have around 5 or 6 pimples (small to medium).
My question is: what's the most effective way of getting rid of Acne? I'm not interested in using proactive or something of that sort since Acne isn't usually a problem for me. I'm more interested in home or herbal remedies that work for occasional breakouts like the one i have now .
Thanks!
Crush an aspirin and mix it with a bit of pure lemon juice until it makes a semi-thick paste. Place a small amounth on each individual pimple. Leave on for twenty minutes and then rinse with warm water.
I've read that in several health magazines and the pimples are supposedly gone the next day.
Another thing that works is to boil a pot of hot water and mix in some real mint leaves. Then, hover your face above the steam and it will help reduce the size of your pores as well as clear up blemishes.
Ok, well I'm kinda basically in love with my best friend. And he knows that. He said he liked me too, but chose someone else over me. So now he has a girlfriend. He's still my best friend but he confuses me a lot. I know that he loves his girlfriend and would never want to leave her. But like, since he's had his girlfriend, he's kissed me, held my hand, and the other night me, him and my other friend were just kinda hangin out in my room. We were all sitting on the bed & me & him were just like lying down. & he put his arm around me. He always tells me he loves me. But that's because he really does, but just as a friend, I think. This confuses me alot. I don't know if he really does like me, but less than his girlfriend. Or if he's trying to just be nice to me cuz he knows I like him. Can someone please help me understand this? Like what should i do? And what do you think is going on?
It almost seems like your guy friend is trying to have a girlfriend, with a little slice of you on the side. And that's not fair to you or his girlfriend. It's confusing you and it must hurt when he does those things. You need to comfront him and tell him you need to know where his feelings really lie about you. He will most likely say he wants to be with his current g/f, so, if that's the case, don't hold his hand or let him kiss you anymore. He needs to understand that either he has all of you or none of you. Don't let him think it's ok to have a girlfriend and lead you on at the same time. It's not fair and it's down right mean. If he really did love you, he would leave his girlfriend and be with you.
Now, my best guy friend and I have something of a thing for each other. So we talk on the phone and stuff. But sometimes I'll be like, hey, I miss you [we're on break, so I went outta town] and he'll say something like 'yeah'. Other times, he'll say I miss you too. Just things like that.
My question is, why would he say it sometimes, and other times, just 'yeah'?
This tends to happen whenever I say anything like that. Does it mean he doesn't feel the same way?
Is it a guy thing? Or...?
Thanks!
Don't worry it's just a guy thing. I wouldn't take it too literally. Sure, there's a chance he's worried your friendship will be lost if you two ever got together, so he doesn't want to rush into anything. Or, like I said, it could just be him being a guy. Phone conversations are difficult because you never know what the other person is doing. Maybe he was in the middle of doing something and didn't hear you when you told him you missed him. Either way, don't make it into too big of a deal. I'm sure he has feelings for you in there somewhere.
umm okay so this is gross but i sweat so bad. i mean like HORRIBLE. i can have the best deodorant and still sweat so much in like a couple min and get all sweaty in my arm pits. soo um. i was thinking like maybe if i got that deoderant for guys called old spice. i heard it was really good. and like arent guys suppose to sweat more anyways and then like.. it would prob. be stronger and better for me. having guys deoderant doesnt matter right?
thanksss.
There's no reason why you shouldn't be able to try the men's brand. But I suggest you see a doctor about your excessive sweating. You might have a disorder in your sweat glands and he might be able to give you a medication and/or treatment to help lower the amounts of sweat you produce.
Hey im a teenager and I need to save up for a big trip like 7000 dollars. Would I look really bad if I got a part=time job for like six or seven months just to save up for the trip? Or would that be too shallow?
Of course not. Why would that be bad? You need the money, so you have the right to get a job and make some. When you quit, just make sure you give them your two-week notice so you'll have a better chance of being hired if you apply anywhere else.
I'm a freshman in highschool, and the kid I currently have a crush on is a sophomore. I have seen him multiple times in school, and we stare into eachothers eyes when we pass eachother in the hallway. Also I was chilling at starbucks with some friends and I saw him chilling with his friends (which were nistly girls, so i couldn't really approach him), every time he passed me we'd look at eachother, but he never seems to smile. I've never had a boyfriend/first kiss before, but only because I turned all the guys down, but this kid is actually in my league. All I want is to become friends with him, but I have no idea how. We don't have any classes together, but I do know his name from my yearbook. I was thinking about writing a little note that says something like"
hey, you're kinda cute.
IM me at blahblahblah
If anyone has any ideas, please respond. Oh and can you girls ask your guy friends and your boyfriends and tell me what they say?
I'd REALLY appreciate it! k thanks!
xo
I haved learned from both experience and my other guy friends that guys adore confidence in a girl. I like your idea with the note. You could say something like "How long do I have to stare into those eyes before I can get your attention?" Another good way to get to know him would be to accidentally bump into him, drop all your stuff, apologize over and over and then start a conversation. Lol it's cheesy but it works!
today two girls came to me and told me that i ratted them out but i dont even know them or who they were talking about if they tell me agian tomarrow what should i do tell them off or ignore them? plese someone help
As long as you did nothing wrong, it's not something you need to worry about. Just ignore them and if they continue to pester you, ask them what the big deal was and that you didn't even do anything.
Just make sure you surround yourself with friends and people you know. You'll have a less chance of them bothering you with people around.