khadiya's advice column

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Q: i've had sex maybe three times and once i shaved my pubes and then i got these red bumps that are too small to look like razor burns where i shaved...there aren't any of these bumps near the inside of my vagina but i have three red bumps towards the top part of where the pubic hair is...
i'm scared that they're herpes or some other untreatable infection. they don't itch and i'm scared to go to my doctor...would i have to a specialist?
any idea what it is and what i can get to treat it like creams and what not?
please help...

It actually most likely is razor bumps. They come in all shapes and sizes. They most likely arent going to itch until the hair started growing back. Here are some sites for you:

http://www.hotpinkbook.com/
http://archive.salon.com/sex/feature/2000/09/06/hair_removal/print.html

I googled it for you.

Q: I'm really sick of being a guy. I've always wanted to be a girl. Does anybody know how I can get a sex change?

You should do a search on google to find doctors in your area or somewhere close by first. Then when you do that you should schedule you an appointment so you can go to them in person so they can explain to you exactly what is gonna happen.

Q: does any one know this song?

it has "cus shes bitter sweet shes the one that i need....." "she pushed me in the pool at our last school reunion......" lol i can't remember alot of it lol thnx :)

The Click Five-shes just the girl, or a girl. something. But it is the click five.

Q: Do you think it would be a beter choice for me to go onto the pill before I lose my viginity or should I just use a condom? and what are the chances of me getting pregnant if I just use a condom? thanks.

Both. condoms are good but they break. If it breaks you can have a good chance of getting pregnant. And if you dont take your pills properly, same time everyday, they are less effective. Try the patch. Its weekly.

Q: I am completely in love with my boyfriend. We have been together for 10 months but I've had a thing for him way long before we went out...and its kind of complicating but... before we went out and i liked him, he would start liking me and lead me on to think we will be in a relationship but then he would leave me in the dust for another girl..the same girl...twice.. but then they didnt work out but they still liked eachother and it came the day that he had to choose between us and he chose me. Well 10 months later theres this other girl and he talks to her alot and tells her alot about this novel he is writing and tells her how far he is in it but he doesnt tell me these things.....when i was the one who encouraged him to write it and gave him lots of ideas. I would think he would show me things first... so I'm getting really jealous and scared that he will start liking this girl and leave me in the dust like he did before...even though he said he wouldnt and he only loves me...but I don't know if I should believe him. I don't know what to do.

I would be jealous if i was in your shoes too. Give him an ultimatium. Tell him that you rjealous and you need to know because you dont want to end up hurt in the end over this girl. You may have gave him this talk before but you need to stand your ground this time. You need to really tell him how you feel. If you really in your heart believe that he is going to leave you for this girl, dont keep holding on to this relationship. Its always something better out there for you.

Q: i really wanna learn how to dance, like you would at a party to a hip hop song or something. does anyone have any tips on how to do it? i've tried dancing in the mirror, it really does not help for me. are there are any good videos or ANYTHING? i just seem to have no rhythm and no idea as to how to move my body. please don't say anything like just listen to the music, because that's not working.

That is the problem you are listening to the music!! You should pick one specific beat in the song and move to it. But there is really no way to actually tell someone how to dance.

Q: Ok, I turned 13 awhile ago, and I wanna throw a fun partay since now i'm a teen!!! I was wondering if any of you have some FUN ideas that ARENT TOO EXPENSIVE??? And think teen, not 2 year old!! thanx in advance!
I'll rate high IF i get a good answer!

Well what we did, my friends and i, We got us a cheap spot,our community center was 10 bucks!! with a 55 dollar deposit that you got right back after you were done! We had good food, small stuff finger foods you know. We had a fake dj, well he wasnt fake he was jus free! We partied the night away!! No little kids games, none of that just good music and everyone dance and they loved it. We had a dance contest, cheap prixes of course, 5, 10, 20 bucks. Nothing big and fancy. Just something s people can have fun!

Q: my boyfriend and i want to start having sex. im thinking about the pill. how to i get it? do i have to ask my FAMILY doctor or who? and will they tell my parents??

If you have a health dept close by, they will put you on the pill. AND if you are over 13, they will not tell your family because of the doctor- patient thing. It should be the same if you go to your family doctor but im not sure. Another thing you can do is go to a different doctor If you have insurance, or an insurance card then this shouldnt be a problem. Schedule your appointment, get up there and do what you have to do.

If it comes down to the point that you think you need to tell your parents, or thats your final option, be honest. Tell them that you want to be on the pill just in case anything ever happens, but make sure you tell them a little white lie and say that you arent TRYIN to have sex. Its a just in case thing.

Q: so i've had this girl i've called my "best friend" since i was 5 (im 15 now, she's 20) we've always been really close but a few years ago she was dating my brother (she's always been in love with him, still is even though she has a live-in boyfriend) and i decided i didnt want to be her friend anymore (that resulted in her cutting herself really deep and she still has a huge scar). we weren't friends for months but then i got lonely and a mutual friend decided to have us start talking to each other again. we haven't been as close as before since then. she always has little messed up things to say to me now. ever since my family started making more money she has this bitchy attitude. she's always sad about something. its pointless to take her anyway. she's trying to sabotage my relationship with my boyfriend who i've been with for over a year now. im starting to cut her off slowly but im just wondering how i can stop being her friend without hurting her too much? i'm her only friend, seriously, and she has a lot of problems with her boyfriend/life in general. i know why she is the way she is but how do i cut it off with her without her killing herself? (because she would)

This is blunt but....

You were wrong in the first place to stop being your friend just because she was dating your brother. YOu and her was friends before your brother and her started dating.

You need to sit her down and talk to her. You need to tell her how you fill about everything that she says to you. If you and her has been friends so long you need to give it another chance. You are the reason that yall arent as close anyways.

Q: I have been exercising and trying to get in better shape. My question is, is it okay to do 3 to 4 ten minute intervals of exercise (say, run 10 minutes in the morning, 10 minutes after lunch, and 10 minutes after dinner)? Will it have the same effects of 30 minutes of straight out exercise?

It should be fine. As long as your exercisizing and keeping with the routine it shouldnt be a problem.

Q: ok so im in 7th grade and 13/f i have average sized boobs but my mom only lets me buy bras that have no padding or anything its just really thin like cloth and when i change 4 p.e. it seems like people look @ me alot and since the bras are so thin people can c thru them and its embarrassing cus they can c thru it ya know but ive askd my mom if ican get bras w/ padding and she wont let me and she goes thru all my clothes so if i do get some w/ padding then she'll find it and get mad i guess so what do i do? and sometimes u can see a point were my boobs r when i were kindof thin shirts

I think the only reason your mom is doing this is because she thinks that the only reason you want the bras is so you breats would look bigger. You need to explain the situation to her. Tell her, when im in gym changing everyone looks at me because they can see right through your bra. If she doesnt understand, then i dont know what to tell you.

Q: so me and my boyfriend have had sex twice. the first time we did it i don't think he broke/tore the hymen even though it hurt really bad, basically i kept pushing him off me on reflex. anyway, the second time was yesterday and it also hurt really bad but i still don't know if he tore the hymen, it still hurt and i understand it will hurt the first few times but how do i make sure he fully tore it?

You need to let him fully have sex with you. Dont push him away. Thats going to make it worst because your not giving your body the oppurtunity to get used to this feeling.

Normally you would see a little blood, or it wont be as painful as it started. Thats all i can really tell you.

Q: i work at a local takeaway store. Its in a type of shopping complex and there's this guy there I really like who cleans around the area I work. He comes in a few times a day and buys food from us and stuff. He doesn't really talk much but he's really nice. What are some convisation starters while i'm at work. Just something small, just so he notices me. And i dont want it sounding too suss while all the other girls are there and if they happen to overhear me. I kinda need something by tomorrow..

thanks so much.

You can say things like...

So what did you do yesterday?
Having a good day?
So how was that food you bought yesterday??

Any question that you would normally ask someone you know!

Q: My boyfriend said that me and him could only have sex if i would giv him head. And i told him that getting head isnt the only way of getting erected. Does anyone know any ways i can get him erected. I wanna get him erected for the fun of it not to have sex and i dont wanna give him head. But he can get me wet easily and probably enjoys it but i cant get him erected and he said the only ways 2 get him erected is giving him head or a really good handjob. I suck at giving handjobs. So how should i get him erected without giving him head?

You need to find ways to arouse him. Dress sexy. Wear barely nothing. Tease him rub your stuff on him, show him what you got.

Thats the only advice i can give you i dont know what else to say because i NEVER have a problem with getting a guy hard.

Q: Okay I'm about to ramble so get ready...

My problem, what is it? I'm not sure. I think I have more than one but i'll tell you all the symptoms now.

I feel it's extremly neccesairy to be happy at all times...for myself? No. So that I don't get others sad. I feel like its my job to keep people happy. Well...at times. At others I think it should be all about me getting attention and pity and being depressed. At those timees I feel the world has to be about me.

The thing is I feel as if it's 2 of me. I...I doubt im have some split personality disorder but I just feel...maybe? Like whenI look at things I wrote...emails notes ect sometimes I tell myself "you didnt write that...it wasnt you". Now obviously I know it was but...I just don't remember it and I feel I wouldnt have wrote it like that.

Now not remembering it is another problem...I have terrible memory...not like occasional "Where did I put my keys" but like I can almost never remember where most of my stuff is what I didi with is ect but I feel thats because im always daydreaming. I always feel out of it not realising the world. Thats what I blame short term memory on. But my long term memory is terrible also. Well...chosen memories.

I can remember a bunch of times I cried at school...I can remember feeling guilty after being a jerk and saying something stupid in class. But I can't remember my first best friend or anything happy. If I can I have to try reaaaaaaaly hard and most of the time im pretty sure I "remember" them because we got them on tape and watched them recently. And when I remember stuff its from a thrid person view...is that normal? I'm not too sure. I doubt my sanity all the time then reasure myself but I dont know...

I'm very strange when it comes to social situations...I can sing in front of 100's of people and not be shy at all but when it comes to asking a teacher for a homework I lost it terrifies me. I hate school do to this. I am very unorganised and the daydreaming doesnt help. It's not that im afraid of the people themselves its just if I say something stupid and they give me that look...that "You're kidding right?" look it just burn a hole in me ...it shatters me to peices...I know its stupid but it does.

So I hang around with alot of girls but barely any guys...yet i've only had one girlfriend my whole life...I dunno...I feel lonely because of that though...I feel like I need someone to love me but I think thats the "wants attention" side...

Well if you survived that...tell me...what do you think is wrong? What should I do...what?

P.S. I am a very confused 15 year old boy

You said you try to make other people happy or something?

You are spending too much time worried about them and not enough time worried about whats going on with you. I think you need to sit down and organize yourself, and get to know your self better. I know that sounds strange, but its true. Keep a journal, and at times go back and look at it so you can remember things about yourself or a situation. You probably feel alone because you have noone to talk to. You need to get some male friends also, someone else to talk to. A girl isnt gonna want to sit down and listen to you they have boys, makeup, and everything else on their minds.
Get out of the house more go do things that you enjoy doing that makes you happy or at least puts a smile on your fac. AND if i didnt help you, you can always talk to your parents, hey know you WAY better than i do.

Q: can someone tell me EXACTLY what an emo is?

thank you

LOL! everyone has a differnt opinion on what exactly emo is. SO, i found this site with many defenitions of the word. Pick 1!!

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=emo

Q: What exactly is a cock ring? Does it work? Are there any sites anyone can give me on what they look like on a penis?

And are they comfortable for the guy?

Thanks!

http://www.babeland.com/cock-ring.html

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cock_ring

Im a girl so i know nothing about these!! BUT the sites will tell you everything you need to know!

Q: Ok, I'm trying to get good enough at writing so that I can get a book published one day. I'm working on writing a story now and I was wondering if anyone knew any sites that I can post it on and get reviews and ideas if people like it or not. I've found storywrite.com which I have not received any reviews on and fanfiction.net which what I'm writing isn't fanfiction. Also, does anyone know how to get published? Thanks....

writers.com is supposed to be good. Or you can go to a search engine and type in sites for story writers, nonfiction writes, etc. and see what happens.

Q: I love to sing even though I'm flat and I need to control my breathing. (From what my thespian friends have told me)

So I'll love to get tips. Any songs to sing? I know there's musicals and such to sing from but please list songs for altos.

I've tried looking and I struggle to sing the songs from musicals. It seems to go too high or something.

The only song I can sing is Sunday Morning by Maroon 5 :\

You should listen to the radio and just sing with it. Eventually when you hear the songs over and over you will pick up on the notes and the melody and you will learn how to control your voice.

Q: Okay, so I am going to college next school year.
I've never been into any real or intimate relationships because there's not a lot of guys to choose from in our school(if you know what i mean...;) ).

I want to attract guys in college. Any ways as to how I can do that?

Thanks!

Well, if your a pretty nice looking girl, just be yourself!! No guy likes a girl who is trying to be fake you know? Dress cute nd be yourself. Let a guy know your interested dont do the secret crush, because thats a waste of time.

bio

Its A brand new year!! And I havent really been giving advice lately so now IM BACK!! If you have something to ask dont hesitate to ask. DONT BE SHY!! I've been there! Or I know someone who has!

I am a black albino female whose been through alot!!! I have a lot advice to give. Im a very knowledgeable person, and i look at things from many different views. Im very blunt, so if you dont want to hear it straight dont ask me!! any thing else you wanna know get at me!

LET ME REINTRODUCE MYSELF REAL FAST, REAL QUICK!
iM A BLUNT PERSON, IF YOU ASK A GROWN UP QUESTION, IMA GIVE A GROWN UP ANSWER. RECENTLY A GIRL ASKED HOW TO GIVE A BLOWJOB AND I WAS VERY BLUNT AND UPFRONT WITH HER. I GOT SHUNNED FOR MY ACTIONS SO, BASICALLY. IM GOING TO TRY TO AVOID ANSWERING QUESTIONS LIKE THIS. BECAUSE ALL THOUGH THESE KIDS ASKING THESE QUESTIONS ARE YOUNG, THEY OBVIOUSLY BEEN DOING SOMETHING THEY AINT GOT NO BUSINESS DOING BECAUSE THE WOULDNT BE ASKING THOSE TYPES OF QUESTIONS.