worshipthelizardking's advice column

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Q: ok.... well i have gone out with this guy 4 times and every time we brake up it is because of other girls!!! now he wants to go back out with me. he is always sweet and always says i love you to me. he always holds my hand and is always there for me.but the real question is ... should i go back oout with him or not? plz answer!!!

Are you kiding? It's because of girls like you that guys can be called players. Get a clue and stop letting him string you along.
He just keeps feeding you bullshit and you're sitting there with your mouth wide open. Geez, trash him.

-ten

Q: my friend and i are gonna dye our hair with that non permanent stuff just for fun. OUr problem is we dont knwo what to do about our eyebrows. IS their any kind of non permanent dye for your eyebrows? or what do you suggest?

I really wouldn't suggest it. If you have blond eye brows, and you dye them dark they'll just come out a weird red because eye brow hair is different that the hair on your head- it reacts differently. Some dye is too harsh on the eyebrows anyway and the skin around them might get irrated and cause the hair to fall out a little bit more than usual.

peace

Q: I have a very plain face. I have a brownish/blondish hair color,thick and long hair, greenish eyes, and okay lips. I hate how I look and I want to change. Im allowed to wear make up but I just cant find the right kind. Any suggestion? Just ask if you want to see a pic.

If you use eyeliner, use a Brown. After you put it on, Smudge it a little with your finger.. Make sure you use mascara (brown if brown eyeliner, black if black eyeliner)to help pop your eyes. Use either a nude or light pink lip gloss.. That way you're gorgeous but not over doing it. Use a darker shade of pink or brown, but the darker the blush the less you use. Brush it on the apple of your cheeks. Your hair sounds great, straighten it if you don't already to make it sleek and shiny. Make sure you stay true to your own unique beauty! Send me a pic if you have time and I can give you more ideas.
peace

Q: ok is it weird for girls to bite guys lips? cuz usually guys bite mine but iv never bitten theirs... and what about running my tongue across my bfs teeth when were making out? my firend told me thats good but i dont know... please help ill rate hi and if u guys have any other ideas please tell me!

bite em.. and bite em good.
If you throw in running your toungue across their teeth, maybe a little playing nibbling at the ears, and some kisses on the neck then you might be getting yourself into a little more than making out. HAVE FUN

peace

Q: This is gunna be really long, im sorry. but thanks in advance to anyone that helps! ok, so last night i was hanging out with my boyfriend of almost a month, and we were drinking but neither of us were even feeling a buzz. well one of his friends touched my stomach, and my boyfriend is extremely protective of me and got really pissed. he was trying to calm down and was shaking, he kept telling me he was gunna kill him, so i told him not to worry about it that his friend has no chance with me and i said 'your all i need'. right after i said this he got the sweetest lok on his face and said the 3 words i would of never thought would come from his mouth- "I love you". this caught me by complete surprise, i didn't say anything back, i just kissed him, well throughout the coarse of the night he told me he loved me 8 times. each time i said nothing. We've only been going out for almost a month (will be a month this friday) but have been really close and flirtly for 3 months. i finally gave in and said i love you too one of the times he said it. I do care for him soo much, just for me its so hard to believe in the word and meaning of 'love'. But yet i said it to him, and i think that was a mistake on my part. but i couldn't just not say something. But i want to talk to him about it and tell him i dont want him to say those words until he is sure of what hes saying and when he means it. but how am i supposed to talk to him about it?

You should say exactly what you just wrote.. "But i want to talk to him about it and tell him i dont want him to say those words until he is sure of what hes saying and when he means it."

Although, the way he reacted to that stomach thing really worries me so be GENTLE. He seems a bit hostile.. especially if he wasn't even drunk. Does that not scare you? That temper could easily get worse with time. BE CAREFUL

hope I was of help..
peace

Q: how do you make yourself throw up? like i know you stick your finger down your throat but like ive tried that and it doesn't really work..like is there a cerant way to stick it down or anything..I'm not bulimic or anything I didn't feel good and i ate something and i felt like i had to throw up and i couldn't so i tried to make myself but it didn't work..thanks

Ok if that were true and you really needed to throw it up, your body would have done it for you.
Anyways, we all know you're an aspiring bulimic.
Stick your finger down your throat and wiggle it a bit until you find your gag reflex. Once you do, you need to hold it there for a second but make sure you pull your hand out in time otherwise you'll make somewhat of a mess. Enjoy!

PEACE

Q: How can you get rid of hickeys. and if you cant, how long does it usually take for them to go away?

TOOTHPASTE.. rub a little on before bed. Then in the morning use about half as much and it will blend with the concealer to give a closer color of your skin. Until then cover it up with your hair, and if your hair isn't long enough.. say it was a curling iron burn.

Peace

Q: Isn't there a way to get rid of hickies? I can't remember. My friend got a hicky and she tried covering it up with makeup but it didnt work.. any more solutions? THANKS

TOOTHPASTE! good luck sweetie!

Peace

Q: i really extremely am i love with my boyfriend...but I just dont know how to deal with it!! i cry out of happiness...and just being with him makes butterflies in my stomach..i try to concentrate on other things ...but all i can think about is him!!

Sounds more like psychotic bragging than a plea for advice.. wanna rephrase before you get deleted?

Peace

Q: I really need to talk to my friend but there is never any time and I dont know what to do. So what do i do at this point please help!

How does someone give advice to that?
You're on your own due to your lack of detail.
Good luck anyway.

Peace.

Q:
I've been really pressured with school lately and stuff. I really can't take it anymore. Plus a lot of things with my personal life thats starting to get a little crazy and out of control latelty...but yeah. I have like crud-load of homework now and stuff and I only have 10 days ubtil science fair is due, and me and my partner havent even started it yet. It doesnt seem like shes really into it or w/e. Like we say we have to start it soon but we never do because we never get a chance to get together and junk...so please can you guys give me ideas for science fair projects. Easy ones are fine because I really dont care if I win first prize or not by tyhe judges...I just wanna pass science. =/

Please..thank you sooo much

Take 5 plants. Put one in a dark closet. Put one in the sun light. Put one in a room with classical music playing. Put one in a room with rock music playing. Make the last one your variable like sunlight and music mixed together. Take polaroids of them everyday for 10 days. Hypothesize, record, the end. Really easy, no work involved. Hope I helped!

Peace

Q: My boyfriend keeps asking me 2 give him a hand job. I tell him maybe later, or make up another excuse. But the truth is I've never given one. My question is how do I give a hand job? And how would I know if he's enjoying it?

Okay, this is funny.

Firmly grab it, start at the base. With a firm (but not too tight) grip, move your hand up and down. Make sure you take the extra skin with you so that it hits the tip. Keep in mind that's his most sensitive part.. play with it a little with your thumb and forefinger and maybe do a few strokes from top to bottom. You'll know he's enjoying it either by the look on his face or his satisfying sounds. Lube is a definite plus (and I highly recommend it) so look into that. Just make sure you're not pulling too hard.. Also there's a flat part on the bottom of the tip, rub it a little with your thumb, it seems to be a very sensitive and pleasurable area.
If I haven't helped, watch porn.
good luck!

PeacE

Q: OK, my family is getting rid of AOL, which has my aol e-mail account. Through that account, I have my AIM screenname. I don't want to lose that screenname, because everyone knows it and it will be a hassle. How can I keep the AIM screenname even though I am deleting the corresponding e-mail account?

you can keep the program AIM if you're using a DSL or Cable hook up... but if you're using a modem you're going to need some sort of dial program to get the internet to run your AIM. I'm assuming you have AIM downloaded separately from AOL.. if not, do that.

Q: does any one know how to lose like 10 pounds in like a week...i have a party comming up and i want to look a little "less" in my dress...thanks..
(i rate 5s!)

Just stop eating. You lose pounds of water weight everyday. And after next week, eat well at first because your metabolism will be a little slow, but you'll get back in it. good luck!
peacE

Q: i'm 13/f and i weigh 115, but i really want to lose 15 lbs. I'm not sure if it's like unhealthy because ive never used them and don't know anyone who has. I know diet pills aren't healthy and don't work, but are diet patches the same way? and how would i be able to get them, cuse i can't just ask my parents to buy me diet patches, they deffinatly wouldn't do that. and i don't want to use them if it's not compleatly safe. help please? thanks -*jeanine

Ok I don't think you need to lose weight, but whatever. One diet pill does work, it's trim spa.. it's true. I lost a lot of weight on it- it doesn't make you shakey or weak like most do. It just cuts your appetite but gives you essential vitamins. Give it a try.

Peace

Q: Does anyone reccommend any energy drinks or power bars that give you energy in a healthy way? Cuz I know that some energy drinks can be bad for you or make you really jittery and shaky.. does anyone have any reccommendations?? Thanks!!

Drink Rock Star.. it well, rocks.

PeacE

Q: My best friend Olivia invited me and this girl Whitney, her 2 best friends, to go get a manicure with her for her birthday. The only problem is that we're going on the 23rd, and it's the 14th, so i want to stop biting my nails but i don't know how-------any suggestions???????
PLZ HELP ME!!!!!!!!!$$$babiid$$$$$$

They make this really shitty tasting liquid for people who such their thumbs and bite nails. Put it on your nails and when you go to bite it you'll get a nice little surprise.
It's in drugstores I believe.
peace

Q: this is not good at all. one of my best friends (lets call her Sarah but thats not her real name) i think is a compulsive liar. she lies about everything...or so we suspect. her cousin told me that a disease like that runs in her family. but she lies about everything. here are some of the things:
-she told me she got raped and went to court for it. one time she told me she went to court at 8:00p.m but court isnt open that late
-she told me she has a boyfriend but nobodys ever talked to him except on AIM (and she has 2 computers so it might just be her) and yeah, she gave us a picture of him but its weird because i found the exact smae picture on BuddyPic and the names didnt match up
-when i talk to her on AIM she always says i feel so sick im gonna go make myself throw up im anorexic
-she told me she had a signature of somebody famous that i really like and she said i could have it. then next day she came in with it and it looked NOTHING like the real signature and it looked like her handwriting

there are more things but im just too stressed out. i DO NOT want to talk to her about it because one of my other friends confronted her about the lying and she almost commited suicide. she's really scaring me. she lied about getting RAPED...or so we THINK cause its not 100% sure. i tried to talk to my best friend about all this cause he knows whats going on with Sarah, but he told me that he belives her about all this because nobody else will. its freaking me out...a lot. i love her so much and i dont want to lose her. but i cant believe anything she says! and im afraid that if one day something bad really does happen, im not gonna beleive her. what should i do? PLEASE HELP! i have more info if you need it...just ask for my email.

A girl I knew told me she was a test tube baby and that she was born in four different places at once. Some girls are just really lame. Tell her parents and get her help before she starts lying about Brittany Spears coming to sing at her birthday party. (Yes I heard that one too)

peace

Q: i was just wondering a couple days ago...becuase i gave my bf a handjob and he got a little bit of cum on my shirt..and i just was wondering how long it takes for the sperm to like die once the guy cums..becuase i was looking at my shirt with it on it and kinda got grossed out wondering if there was little sperm moving around alive on my shirt still..lol sorry i know this is stupid but does anyone know??

oxygen kills em, put your shirt in the wash cause it stains easily.

payce

Q: to start i have been geting sick every three weeks for two and i have been diagnosed so many times and i have been told its all inmy head and taken every drug under the sun . and now they think that i have lupis ( i think i spelled that wrong ) and i am going to children s in boston and if there is any who has this then is there any thing i can do to make me feel better longer cause every time i get sick i need to go on steriods and i dont want to go back on them .please help .

You sound like a hypochondriac

bio

I'm an 18 yr old female and I'm preparing to go to the University of North Texas next fall and I want to major in Fashion Marketing. I've had the same boyfriend since I was 16 so I can help with relationship/love/sex questions. I'm a drummer in an all girl band and I appreciate music so I can help you there also. I'm obsessed with fashion and unique styles so if you ever need a suggestion I'm there for ya. I've always been told that I'm pretty decent at giving advice and I'm curious as to what you need to know, so hit me up.