Hi! I need advise. My friend keeps on lying for some reason and it is SO obvious sometimes. Like the other day I told her I got a new Tablet, she then told me she has one too(last time I asked she said she only has a phone). A week later she says her father bought for her a Tablet and that I am not the only one with a Tablet between out group of friends.
There was also a day she showed us pictures of her 'boyfriend' on her phone, the pictures were clearly taken from a magazine. All my friends knew but they didn't tell her they knew. I told her and she denied it.
She also sometimes tells us how her mother abuses her. Other days she tells us how 'sweet' her mother is. One day she hates her father the next day she really loves him.
There are also other times she lies and its not even necessary. She is no longer fun because she keeps on lying! What do I do? She should really stop coz I don't know what to believe anymore!! I am not even sure if she's okay mentally. Btw I am a girl.
I think we've all met someone like this, who constantly lies about things for attention. However, it's important that you know she isn't a bad person, she is clearly crying out for attention. People who lie about everything, even the littlest of things, usually want people to feel sorry for them so that they get attention, and even though it's frustrating and irritating, she just needs help. It's not the right way to ask for help, but everyone has different ways of dealing with things. In my opinion, it seems to be people who don't fit in very well - never had much attention from their family, never really had any friends, so they try a different way to make people like them by making them feel sorry for them. The fact that she says 'I have a tablet, too' when you say you have one, it sounds like she is trying to be friends with you and have something in common with you, maybe she's even trying to be like you. She obviously has low self-esteem and personal problems, and maybe a socialization issue.
I would say there are two options here (that I can think of, anyway):
1. Avoid her, cut her out of your life. If you feel like she is causing you stress then you shouldn't have to put up with it.
2. Confront her, tell her that you know she is lying and ask her why, tell her to be completely honest and tell her that you understand.
Please don't blame her or judge her for lying, a lot of people feel left out and lie to fit in or get attention from people because they feel alone. It's not okay to lie, I am not condoning what she has done/said, but she clearly needs help. However, I'm not saying you have to help her, it's not your problem, if you can't deal with helping her then you have every right to cut her out of your life, but whatever you do, try to understand what she is going through and how she is feeling. It sounds like she is very much alone right now and needs a friend - you could be the friend that helps her and makes her feel less alone. Good luck.
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I'm done with it. It's a terrible message for people suffering from this stuff.
Reality of depression: a mental disorder caused by bullying, abuse, etc where the victim can't feel happy, and is always sad. This person needs to get help and heal.
What it is showed as: an emo kid who is a very shy and misunderstood, a great trait where the amazing emo is deep and poetic. This person should continue on with it because it's romantic and beautiful.
Reality of self harm: something extremely serious, caused by something so intense and traumatizing the victim wants to end his own life. This person needs help (right fucking now)
What it is showed as: something an emo kid does, where he "paints a picture, the razor is a brush and the wrist a canvas. This person should kill themselves because they are " an angel who wants to go home"
Reality of anorexia: a very dangerous and serious mental disorder where one is obsessive about loosing weight, driven by insecurities. This person needs to see a food therapist. Right fucking now. It makes them look very ugly and disturbing.
What it is shown as: something an emo kid does (always coming back to emos) where they loose weight and act sad, driven by wanting to be pretty. This person needs to write "not thin enough" on their stomach and post it on tumblr. It makes them look sexy and mysterious.
Why?
I think that a lot of people say this as a way to deal with their mental problems, they make it sound like something they should be proud of so that they don't feel so insecure about having these problems. When people say ''he paints a picture, the razor is the brush and his wrist is a canvas'' because it makes self-harm sound less embarrassing to them, the same way people say that 'scars are beautiful', it's so that they see their scars not as imperfections but as a part of them.
You see, even though it seems extremely weird to you and a lot of others, everyone has different ways of dealing with mental illness, and some people just need to know that they are not alone and that being mentally ill doesn't make them 'strange' or 'ugly'. It's a way of dealing with things, a way of making things sound better than they are. That's the way I see it, anyway.
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Okay so I've had the biggest crush on this girl for almost a year. She is so cute and perfect. I haven't told her anything because first of all, I don't think she's into girls. She's 3 years younger than me and I know it would not work out. I guess I have just held on to the little hope that she might be into me too because there had been occasions where she would blush when we would talk. Or when she asked me if I had a boyfriend randomly. Or when she would try to hang with me as much as possible but then again, maybe it was all in my head that maybe a wonderful girl like her would like me back. Anyway, I need to get over her. I just don't know how. I don't go to the same school as her anymore but I still have her on social media. I'm constantly checking up on her (not In a creepy way, maybe a little, kidding.) I think it's time for me to move on. I'm just hurting myself over and over again. She probably has no idea that I have a huge crush on her. It's kind of pathetic, I know. So any advice on how to get over someone that I never even dated? Thank you.
Before you get over her, tell her how you feel, and make sure that you are not letting someone go that could be something more. You don't know unless you try, and you could be trying to get over someone who is waiting for you to tell them how you feel. For a while, just forget age and how the relationship wouldn't work, I strongly believe that as long as you like each other, the things getting in the way won't matter any more. If she responds telling you she likes you, too, then great! Have fun, treat her right, spend time with her, do whatever you can for her. If she replies saying she doesn't want to be with you, it will hurt, of course, but it will finally give you the closure you need. If you find out that she doesn't feel the same way, then you should remove her from everything, for a start. Whatever social networking websites you have her on, delete her on every single one, and explain to her that you need to move on. Constantly checking up on her on social media makes your feelings even stronger and even worse. Having nothing to do with her with lead you to finally find that you don't think about her as much, and then you'll find, eventually, that you are over her, and maybe you'll meet someone else! Sometimes, you don't need to get over someone, you need to find out if they feel the same. I hope everything goes well for you, and I hope this is a happy ending. Good luck!
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Ok so I was in math class with my teacher(female) who I had a crush on and when I looked at she was always looking at me but whenever she around me she smiles and I just try not to, but idk what to do because i know that it is wrong to like a teacher bug I think she likes me...😶 but I can't tell but if she does what should I do?
I don't believe you should act on this feeling. Your teacher is there for your education purposes. I'm going to assume that you're a teenager or around the teenage years, I apologize if I'm wrong - but when you're a teenager, your hormones are all over the place, and you feel things you wouldn't really feel. This is probably just a crush and nothing more. I think a lot of people have had a tiny crush on their teacher before, but I don't think it should be acted on.
Maybe she looks at you and smiles because she likes you as a student, I think it's rare that a teacher will have feelings for a student, they are there because it's their job, and she is probably smiling because like I said, she likes you, but also she is clearly very friendly, so maybe you're mistaking friendly for romance. Not to mention, that even if you did get in a relationship at all, she would lose her job and wouldn't be able to teach again. It's extremely risky, and all just for a crush? I don't think it's worth it, I think one day you will meet someone your own age who is lovely and you will look back and laugh about when you had a crush on your teacher. If I were you, I wouldn't do anything. If you feel she is being inappropriate with you, report it. Try and look at her as a teacher and nothing else.
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My girlfriend and I have had an intimate long distance relationship for nearly three months. We constantly drown each other in compliments, and I help her with her depression whenever I can. My problem is that I don't know if I'm bothering her. I'm constantly doubting myself, which I'm not sure if it bothers her cause she never tells me if she's mad at me. And when I'm courageous with her, I don't know if I take things too far. Other little things like messing up my words and saying the wrong things make me wonder if she even loves me anymore, or if she's slowly drifting away which I NEVER want to happen. I just want to know how I can be more "manly" for her, to keep her interested in the man in me. Thank you
The problem is, you're trying to change for her, you don't want to do that. If this girl is your 'soul mate', the person you're supposed to end up with, then she will love you for you, and she won't want you to change. You're assuming all this without even asking her first. She obviously fell in love with you, the you that she knows, so if you change she may have to fall in love with you all over again. Just talk to her, and ask her to be honest with you. It sounds like you're not very secure in this relationship, and it's a shame because it sounds like you have a good, healthy relationship. You said you drown eachother in compliments, would she do that if she wasn't in love with you anymore? No! You're overthinking, by the sound of it, you're trying to be better for her and what you need to know is that you're already good enough for her, you don't need to be better. Sometimes you'll say the wrong thing, who doesn't? She will have at least done that once before, too. Don't sit and assume things because that will mess you up, if you don't hear it from her that she's not in love with you anymore, then just assume everything is going smoothly - because until she says it, it's not true.
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I don't have a lot of friends andI know I should be grateful for the ones I do have but I feel alone. I don't have like a group of friends all my friends are from different groups. I used to have a group of friends but we're not really friends anymore but that's a story for another time. Anyways lets talk about the kinds of friends I have friend A is really judgemental and she's always called me ugly but with mixed signals I don't if she knows that I caught on but oh well but this is how she'd call me ugly in grade 8 she said that me and this guy would look cute together, the next day she said that same guy and this other girl would look cute together because they're both ugly. She just basically called me ugly without remembering what she said the day before. Grade 9 comes and she says "wow you're so lucky you're not popular cause I don't hear boys talk about you and say that you're super ugly" so she just called me ugly again. Grade 10 comes and she looks at me and says "wow I'm imagining how you'd look with makeup and longer hair you'd look really good" which indicates sheets 's still not happy with my appearance, grade 11 comes and my hair is finally longer and she says "see I told you, you'd look better with longer hair now all you need is makeup" indicating she's still not happy with how I look. Grade 12 just started and she's still bringing up I should wear makeup. I finally branched out in making new friends too so in grade 10 I became friends with friend B we clicked and hung out a lot in the summer until Halloween of grade 11 when she got a boyfriend and to this day she only talks to me about her boyfriend, doesn't invite me out anywhere unless her boyfriend comes, even when you tell her that you want a girls night he still finds a way to come. They're basically joined at the hip cause they're always together so of course I feel alone when I hangout with her cause now whenever I tell her my problems she relates it to her boyfriend, I'm friends with her boyfriend too but they're just annoying. Friend C only talks about her culture and makeup and whenever you bring something else up she says "stop its gonna make me depressed" in the summer she used to call me every single day and I'm not exaggerating whether I was out with family she would call, now she has a guy to talk to and now that's all she talks about, she's like friend B where if you bring something up she'll relate it to the guy. Friend D only talks about boys and again whenever you bring up something else she'll brush it off and talk about her problems but out of all these friends id probably have fun hanging out with friend D because this summer she was the only one that wanted to hangout with me. Friend A and I only talk in school, friend B was all about her boyfriend and I don't wanna hangout with friend C because she's too "classy" to take public transit. Her words not mine. I just want a friend where we can both talk about our problems equally, still be able to have inside jokes and we're not judgemental about each other, we wouldn't talk about the same thing 24/7 and we'd go places. With the friends I have now let me just tell you this now none of them really personally know anything about me I've known friend D the longest out of all of them and she didn't even know my family background till this year that's to tell you how self-centred my friends are but I could tell you so many facts about them. I've tried making more friends at my school but now that it's grade 12 cliques are already formed and I'm super shy I'm surprised I've made different friends but the ones I haven't mentioned are just acquaintances that don't want to be anything more than a school friend. What do I do what can I do to stop feeling lonely when I have friends? I have social media too but I also feel alone on there too cause no one interacts with me whenever I interact with them they just favourite my tweet and that's it. Please help and thank you if you've read up to this point and sorry if there are a lot of typos this was typed on my iPhone. I also tried joining clubs and so far everyone in the clubs are friends with each other already so they kind of automatically excluded me with out their knowledge
It's perfectly normal to feel alone even though you have friends, however the worst feeling isn't being alone, it's being around people who make you feel alone.
Let's start off with friend A: you don't need someone like that in your life, someone who is going to drag you down. Most friends would try and make you feel more confident, not less, and being around girls like that changes you. It's great that you feel confident enough not to wear makeup, most girls cover their face to look better, but you don't, and that's a good thing, so don't let her think it isn't! It means you have more confidence than a lot of people, and a lot more confidence than you think.
Friend B: a lot of people, when they get a boyfriend, become distant, sometimes they don't mean to and sometimes they don't even realize they are doing it, but they become so wrapped up in their happiness that they forget everyone else's. If you speak to her about how you feel and she still doesn't care, then she's not a good friend, but she probably doesn't even realize how she is making you feel, because you shouldn't have to put up with his presence every time you see her, but they are in a relationship, they are happy. You should talk to her about it, ask for a girl's night without her boyfriend, and if she still doesn't understand, well, she's not a good friend - but she probably doesn't know she's doing anything wrong.
All your friends seem like they're a bad influence on you. If you have friends and still feel alone, then you know you are surrounding yourself with the wrong people. I think most friendships come out of nowhere, like, when you're not looking, you just meet someone unexpectedly. You don't need people around you, maybe you should spend some time focusing on you - and only you. If you push yourself to meet people, you may find that it's not easy to make new friends, which may upset you even more, if you let it happen then it will be worth the wait when you find a great friend, but also you have more 'me' time, which is important, too.
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I have this friend... my best friend, actually. Karlyn is her name. From the moment I met her, I felt something more than just friendship. It vaguely resembled love, but I didn't know exactly, and didn't want to face it, so I suppressed the feeling, not knowing that Karlyn was dealing with the same thing: Karlyn loved me.
It wasn't until after I experienced a bad relationship with another girl that I realized how I felt about her in full: I was in love with her. I confessed to her shortly afterward, and she told me she felt the same and had for a long time. However, she had lied; while she had at one point felt the same, she'd gotten over me when I was in the other relationship. Now, she's interested in some other guy, and I don't wanna lose her. I love her so much and I want her to be mine so... how do I rekindle those feelings she used to have? How do I make her fall back in love with me...?
You can't make someone fall back in love with you, they either do or they don't. If it's meant to be, it will be, if it's not then it won't. Eventually, if her feelings for you really did mean something, she may find that she is still in love with you, but until then, you cannot make her fall back in love with you. It's so difficult being in love with your best friend because you have the fear of losing them, but it sounds like you have a really strong friendship, and if it is as strong as it seems then you won't lose it, because she obviously cares about you a great deal and it's clear that you care about her, too.
Unfortunately, there's not much to do in this situation - I guess you have to make a choice: fight for her, let her go, or remain friends. If it's too hard for you to be around her because of your feelings then I would suggest letting her go, but sometimes it's best just to have someone in your life even just as friends, because then you can still see and spend time with them. It all depends on how you feel about it, whether you think it would be worth fighting for her or not.
You said you don't want to lose her, so I'd say tell her how you feel, if she insists that she doesn't have feelings for you then stay friends, because that way, there is still a chance, because she could realize that she does actually have feelings for you. However, if you fight for her there is a chance that it could end badly and then you won't even be friends.
Let what's meant to happen, happen. Don't force fate, let it run it's course.
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