Hey :-) I'm Claire. This may be a new column, but I've been an advicenator for a while now (I got a new column for the new year) and am experienced at answering your questions! I love helping people and will try my very best to solve your problems. Feel free to ask me anything and make sure to let me know how everything turns out for you xxx :-P
Gender: Female
Location: Scotland
Occupation: Student/Odeon Team Member
Age: 16
Member Since: January 31, 2006
Answers: 52
Last Update: June 7, 2006
Visitors: 4146
Main Categories:
Love Life
Friendship
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ive had my period for a year now. is it normal that im getting it every 2 weeks? please help! im kind of scared < 3 (link)
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Okay this isn't normal, but don't be scared as it happens to a lot of girls. You need to go see your doctor/nurse and explain the problem. I know it is a bit embarrising but they will be able to sort you out it no time. In my case, I was given tablets to reduce the bloodflow. It's nothing to worry about. Please go as soon as you can, you'll start to feel better and have it less frequently in no time.
Don't be afraid
Sapphire Lily xxx
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13/f ok so ive been going out with this guy(lets call him bill) for 10 months now and i LOVE THE KID TO DEATH but i get REALLY jelous sometimes. like just today my friend hugged him and he hugged her and it just botherd me SO MUCH!!!! i know he loves me and would never hurt me but its just weird i guess. and we play "mind games" with eachother. for example he'll say a joke and ill pretend to take it personally and he'll be like "o im sorry i love you blah blah blah" or the other way around. and it just starts getting annoying. but its the only way we really flirt. i love him but i think im a bitch to him sometimes too!!! so i think he deserves ALOT more than me so i dont know if i should break up with him or not. i mean......on one side......i love him and need him on the other i want him to be happy. does anyone know how to help me i swear 5's all around!!! (link)
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Don't dump him because you think he deserves better than you, if he thought that he wouldn't be going out with you. He loves you too, believe me. But don't take my word for it, the only way for you to be completley secure in your relationship is to talk to him about it. Talk about everything your worried about and I'm sure he'l be able to reassure you that he wants to be with you and is happy with you.
The whole jealousy thing is hard. I have the same situation with my boyfriend right now and my best friend. It's difficult to judge whether to do anything, it may just end up upsetting people. The way that I think I'm going to go and you could to, is to get a friend to point out the closeness between them to my best friend. That way we don't seem like the paranoid girlfriend as its "their" opinion and it stops.
Good luck hunni, hope it works out okay
Sapphire Lily xxx
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hey, my boyfriend and i just started going out last sunday (of this week). he tells me he loves me and tells my friends that he does and that hes crazy about me.
im not crazy about him, lately ive been getting mixed feelings about him. i dont know what to do about it either.
i dont know why im not crazy about him. whats wrong with me? has this happened to you? what should i do? (link)
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Dont worry hunni, theres nothing wrong with you. Your just not as compatible as you thought you were. This happened to me. Before we went out I really fancied him, but as soon as we got together, it was like the thrill of the chase was gone and there was no excitement left. He really liked me but I found myself getting annoyed at his constant I love yous. I was like "Wait till you actually mean it". I ended up dumping him after only two weeks, a decision i regret now.
What I reccommend you do is give him a chance. Give him one more week, try to get closer to him and see if you can relight that spark that made you say yes when he asked you out. If you still feel as you do now by the end of the week, dump him. Its not fair on either of you to keep it going if your hearts not completely in it. It would be for the best, for both of you.
Good luck hunni, dont do something you'll regret
Sapphire Lily xxx
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I've been going out with my boyfriend for a little over two months and everything seemed great, but for the past week or so it just feels like I don't love him anymore. We mostly talk online and when we do I don't say much to him and I get aggervated a lot with him. When I do get to see him it's basically the same, I don't feel anything for him. I don't know how to tell him I wanna break up with him cause I think it would hurt him because he tells my best friend that he loves me so much and would hate it if we ever broke up.. so I'm not sure what to do. Any suggestions would be helpful. Thanks. (link)
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Perhaps you should try talking things through with him first and see if you can solve your problems before you resort to dumping him. Try to work out the reasons behind why you are so aggrevated and try to work through them with him. Perhaps subconciously it is because you dont see each other as much that you are getting annoyed, perhaps you wish you could see him more. Whatever it is, do try to sort it out as if you dump him, afterwards you may end up regretting it.
Hope everything turns out okay
Sapphire Lily xxx
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John has known ive liked him since about october, durin football season i wore his jersey to the games, we havent really hungout and stuff but i dont know theres something about him. he is now in my gym class the last semester and lately he has been acting weird, flirting alot. and i used to just throw myself out to him but now i want to sort of play hard to get while flirtin at the same time.. what can i do? i see him in school sometimes, hes in my 1st period spanish class and we dont really talk(hes on the other side) and hes in my gym class
thanksss (link)
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Perhaps he's acting weird because hes starting to fancy you. If so playing hard to get may confuse him if you've been flirty up until this point. He may think you've found someone else you like better and he may decide not to take it any further with you.
Anyways, you can ignore the above if you want and play hard to get. You should try and get his number, send him some flirty text messages. Also if you catch him looking at you, glance over at him with hooded eyes. Apparently its much more attractive than the cliched hair flick. Also try (and I know this sounds weird) tilting your head to the side when you talk to him so that you expose your neck. Apparently its some sort of flirty body language that he'll pick up subconciously. Plus if your sitting with him, move your legs/feet in small circles. Yet again, its supposed to be irresistable to guys. (read a book on body language lol)
Hope I helped. Hope you get your guy
Sapphire Lily xxx
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I read that if you eat breakfast everyday you will lose weight, is this true? If so, then how can I start eating breakfast without gaining weight because I have not been eating breakfast for a few years? This is so confusing! Please explain and help. Thank you so much. (link)
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not sure I know completely but I will try. Eating breakfast in the morning gives you energy, fills you up and usually breakfast is composed of healthy things like fresh orange juice. Ergo if you are filled in the morning with healthy breakfast, you will not have to snack on food later and therefore you don't put on as much weight. Losing weight after all is about eating a healthy diet, not starving yourself.
think thats how it works lol. you should probably consult a website that could tell you for certain though.
Sapphire Lily xxx
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hey i just had a question about my ex. well we went out for about 2 weeks and then i broke up with him because i didnt really want a boyfriend at that point in time anymore. then after i broke up with him i was like damn! why'd i do that. so a couple weeks later i heard he liked me again and then he asked me out again.i was so happy so i said yes. so we went out for about a month and then all of a sudden he said he didnt think we should go out anymore becuase we never do anything or go anywhere or talk. so we broke up. now... he talked to me yesturday and asked me if i was doing anything today. i said i dont know.. y? and he said because he wanted to hang out. and this was very random. so i was like i guess you can come over but you cant come inside. so i didnt actually think he'd come over but he did and he like pushed himself into my house when i told him not to and he wouldnt leave and he was being an ass and all that shit.. i was like if my parents find you here they'll kill me, (my parents werent home) so finally i agreed that i'd come outside with him and when he stepped outside i closed the door and locked him out. the point i'm trying to make is... why is he being like all flirty and stuff? if he broke up with me why is he acting like he still likes me? its his loss cuz he's the one who broke up with me.
i would appreciate advice.
i rate high.
thanks.
(link)
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Perhaps he has did the same as you and suddenly thought he'd made a big mistake by dumping you. Guys seem incapable of talking about problems in a relationship and when something comes up that they don't like, they end it as an easy way out. Perhaps he's realised this now was a stupid thing to do.
Whatever he thinks, you should talk to him about it. Even if he doesn't still fancy you, at least it will clear the air for you both. You never know, he may admit he still likes you and asks you out again! Just be careful that he doesn't mess you about again and whatever happens in the conversation, make sure he knows your mad at him for dumping you. He should treat you better than that.
Good luck hunni
Sapphire Lily xxx
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i have this friend and she is kind of an ass. i mean we get into fights and all but we get over them and forgive each other. but there are so many other people that she has hurt in the past. for example, one of my really good friends used to be extremely close with her. like they were inseprable. and then they got in HUGE fight (name calling, bad language, etc.) and they have never talked since. alot of people talk to me behind her back about how much they despise her and yet in front of her they act like her friend. There has only been a few instances where me and her have been mad at each other. i know she has talked behind my back before.. but i mean we're teenagers... i've talked behind her back too. it happens. just i'm not sure if i should still stay friends with her. when we're together i enjoy her company very much. just i know what she is capable of and i dont want to get hurt. what should i do? (link)
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I'm of the same viewpoint is you, forgetting the bad times because of the good times. However in this situation I would advise you to maybe ditch her, however enjoyable her company is. The problem being that she may eventually drive all your friends away and if you remain friends with her, she could drag you down with her.
Also, be truly honest with yourself, can you stand knowing that at this very moment she could be bitching about you like mad and then come in tomorrow and act like you've been friends forever, even though you may have done it too? Even worse is, can you stand listening to other people bitching about your friend all the time. because I know personally that would drive me mad and make me feel crazily guilty for not telling her.
In my opinion, I think you should just cut your ties and leave your friendship while you still associate it with happy times. Because if your friend is as bad as you have described it could get very ugly!
Hope this has helped. Good luck, I know its a difficult decision
Sapphire Lily xxx
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I am currently 17 years old.. 6 foot 3. But I have a awkard voice that makes me sound younger and smaller then I actually am.
Is there any way I can retrain my voice? By making it deeper and more normal.. right now I cannot stand listening to my voice when it is recorded. (link)
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You could try lowering your voice by breathing and therefore speaking from your diaphragm (bottom of ribs). When you breathe, think about sending the breath down to the bottom of your lungs and out to the sides. Then when you speak think of sending the sound there too.
Sounds crazy I know, but it does work! Practise just by breathing in through the nose for 3, hold for 3 and then out through the mouth for 3 until u get it. You should feel something balloning out to the sides at the bottom of your ribs. Also if you place your hands on your ribs, middle fingers touching, they should part slightly when u breathe in if your doing it right.
Its something actors do. Try it. Hope it helps
Sapphire Lily xxx
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theres this guy...I really like him...but im afraid to tell him. I want him to know so bad but I cant say it...Im afraid of being rejected...I need help! what should I do? Im very shy around guys though...justincase that helps...♥Danielle
btw im 13 (link)
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I know this is slightly different, but my friend was exactly the same about me. He took the risk though and now he's my boyfriend! Taking the risk does work and believe me its worth going through the fear of whether they'll say yes because if they do...I'm sure you know the feeling. You can never experience that happiness unless you just go for it! We all get rejected at some point in our lives, which is hard to deal with at the time but you will get over it I promise.
Otherwise, try to find out first if he likes you by getting one of your friends or his friends to find out for you.
Good luck hunni, really hope he says yes
Sapphire_Lily xxx
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Hey okay well i am wondering what are some things I could do to make my good features stand out and make me look prettier? I know a few things but what can I do with my face/hair/body, etc. I use makeup and I know how and all that. If it helps i am sorta pale, brown hair, and hazel eyes. Make-up tips i guess, etc. Just ways to "accent" my prettyness if you get what im saying. Sorry this is confusing but ill RATE! Thanks in advance! (link)
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Okay lol, i would choose your eyes to accent. Stick with dark brown eyeshadow, mascara and eyeliner. Then for your lips just use vaseline or something similar. Choosing one feature of your face looks better than trying to make them all stand out. As for your paleness, I would just use powder. I've found in personnal experience guys prefer paler girls to orange ones.
Bodywise, first of all wear something that you are completely comfortable in. Apparently theres nothing sexier than a girl thats confident and happy in her own skin. Secondly, dont go for the obvious showing off your boobs or your legs. Whats more sophisticated are your shoulders of ankles, which moves away from the stereotypical girl and make you stand out more.
Hair, try something completely new. I just recently got my hair highlighted for the first time and put in a side pattern. Its given me such a boost. Try it, honestly it'll make you feel good.
Hope I have helped
Sapphire Lily xxx
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I have a terrible friend who thinks shes cool and hates me and my friends. She always hangs out with us and then talks about us behind our backs to US! I got into a fight with her(because Im the only one who will stand up for myself) and I hate having people hate me so i appologized and she just forgave me like that! (She said "I forgive you, HUG!") It bothers me and now were back to her using me and my friends and she thinks shes popular. What should I do? (link)
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I know its hard, but if you dislike her this much (and you have every right to) you need to ditch her. Stay strong and don't give into her this time. If your friends hate her as much as you do, they will stand by you, maybe even join in you not talking to her and soon you'll be free of her. If you ever start worrying about her hating you, just remember all the people who love you and think your a fab person!
Alternatively, you could just try having a big heart to heart with her and get all your issues out there. Be completely honest and try to work it out.
However, in my opinion, I think it would be a waste of time. Hope this has helped hunni
Sapphire Lily xxx
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