I'm a woman in Texas. I'm married and have a school-aged child. I have a medical background. I'm quite liberal, socially. I love helping people with medical, parenting, and social questions. Don't ask me about tech stuff or finances, because I need advice on those things myself!
Gender: Female
Location: Texas
Age: 34
Member Since: December 17, 2006
Answers: 795
Last Update: September 2, 2007
Visitors: 49983
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Xenolan
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Ok so i have this boyfriend and we get into aguements alot. He tells me that im stupid and retarted. sometimes he even calles me a stupid bitch, dumb ass bitch, or jus plain bitch. he says that im tha problem and that im always getting him mad. Im only 15 and my friends and familly say leave him but some say dnt if ur happy. Im tired of heareing that hole "theres more fish in tha sea" cuz thers really not im in love with him not anyone else. I dont know wat to do anymore im in love with him and want to spend tha rest of my life with him but not like this..
Please someone help me wat do i do????
-shawttii (link)
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What he's showing you is NOT love. No matter how you feel about him, he is not giving you love. I don't think you should break up with him because there are other fish in the sea. Yes, there are, and yes, you may eventually be happy with one later, but for right now, you should feel free to be yourself and you should feel happy about it. What he is saying to you IS abuse and it could escalate into physical abuse.
I don't think you're destined to spend the rest of your life with him. If you are, then he's going to have to go through some major changes in order to keep you because you need to get out of this situation. You should absolutely not put up with this.
You are in my thoughts.
Sabine
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yea, it could b atopic though. so im scared... everyone keeps askin me if i feel sick or have morning sickness, and i dont... idk if thats bad? but the doctor calling me tommorro (link)
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Well, it *could* be ectopic or it could be you just don't get nauseated easily. You could be having a really good pregnancy. A lot of women don't get morning sickness. It has to do with the hormone balance in your body. I hope it's not ectopic because that usually means you need surgery to remove part of your fallopian tube and it can cause infertility problems down the road.
I think you'll find that even if the pregnancy is not ectopic and everything is fine, the process of pregnancy is fraught with 'what ifs' and worries that you're not doing everything right. Then the child comes out and it's just a continuation of the same.
You and your child are in my thoughts.
Sabine
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i found out by going to the gyno, they let me kno, and they put me on folic acid. im only a fe weeks or so. but ive been eatin like crazy and my boobs hurt sooo baddddddd. ill feel a lil bit nautious sometimes, but nothin bad, and im not tired much. (link)
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Great that things are going so well! I've only been through one pregnancy, and I didn't have a typical experience, but I really wish I could have another baby. I hope you enjoy the pregnancy.
Just as an aside, if you're not happy and enjoying the pregnancy, you could talk to me about that, too. I just want to leave that open as well.
Take care.
Sabine
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I'm 17/f
Ok, this is kinda gross... but for the past two days I've been having this weird, brown discharge. It wasn't much at first but last night I put on a pad and it almost looks like I'm having my period. And that's what I thought at first - it kind of looked like the brown, not-quite-bloody discharge I get RIGHT before my period starts (like, within an hour or two). But so far, I haven't started my period and I'm still getting this brown discharge.
I don't have any other symtoms. It doesn't hurt or itch or burn or anything like that. I looked all over the place (including webmd) but couldn't find anything that matched my symptom.
So does anyone know what it could be? This has never happened to me and I don't know what's going on. Could it possibly be my period? Is it related to sexual contact? I'm a virgin, but last week my boyfriend and I did a lot of sexual stuff I've never done before, so could something like that have caused it?
I know I should go to a gynocologist but I'm way scared and I just wanted to ask here before I do that, just in case someone knows something about it and it's not serious.
Thanks in advance! (link)
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Just on the off chance, do you use tampons? Is it possible you left the last one inside and the string is inside as well? That happens sometimes.
Other than that, it's probably nothing, but speak with your Mom/MD if it continues beyond a few days.
Sabine
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whats normal within the first month or so of pregnancy, whats too early or too late? just wondering... (link)
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What do you mean "what's normal"? Do you mean what should I feel? What should I do? What do you mean "what's too early or too late?"
It's normal in the first few months of pregnancy for you to start to feel more tired, ranging from a little tired to profoundly tired. It's normal for you to have uterine cramps as your cervix sort of seals off to keep the microscopic pregnancy from being expelled. Also, your cervix turns blue from a relative lack of blood flow while new vessels are being created by the embryo/fetus. You may experience a total lack of bleeding or you may experience spotting. You may become nauseated for no apparent reason. Not just in the morning. You may be very hungry. You may have a pimple breakout. If this is your first pregnancy, you can usually expect to keep your weight about the same for several months and will likely start showing the baby bump at about 4 months. You may start feeling movement around 14-20 weeks gestation. Your breasts will likely be very sore for 3-4 weeks after conception as your hormones adjust. Likewise, your emotions may be all over the place.
You will likely have a positive urine pregnancy test around 2 weeks after conception. You will need to see a doctor for confirmation by about 6 weeks. You should start a prenatal vitamin right away. You may get a diet and exercise program from your doctor.
You may wish to start announcing now, but many women wait until after the 3rd month because most miscarriages happen early in the pregnancy. You may wish to wait on telling your boss until it's absolutely necessary in order to avoid discrimination if you work.
If I haven't answered your questions, please put a message in my inbox. Other than that, two books I highly recommend and which can be obtained from the library or WalMart are _What to Expect When You're Expecting_ and _The Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy_.
Best wishes and congratulations!
Sabine
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What is the difference between wisdom and knowledge? We've been debating about those in Philosophy class and no explanation seems right for our professor.
And are there any sights wherein I can find other possible explanations? (link)
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Another difference I see in addition to the previous answers is that there are all kinds of things you may have knowledge of, such as random facts, but someone who knows random facts isn't necessarily wise. Someone, for example, could know the dates and places and outcomes of all of the major battles in the Civil War, but knowing that does not give one the wisdom to understand the causation and repercussions of the civil war. Wisdom is being able to draw meaningful conclusions about things with or without the facts. Wisdom also implies searching out answers and looking beyond the facts at hand to see what happens historically. It also implies the ability to search one's own knowledge, experience, and feelings to come up with an answer. That's my 2 cents' worth.
Sabine
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You really shouldn't hate to contradict people when they are wrong. I mean, not only are you giving the question asker the correct answer, but you are also giving the person who gave the incorrect advice correct information, so that same incorect answer doesn't get given again, especilly since this type of question is asked so often. Thanks. (link)
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You're probably right. :) I just don't want to upset anyone, start an argument, or cause the questioner to rate the mistaken advisor lower.
Thanks for the advice.
Sabine
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my actual computer is broken right now, so im using my moms. and she wont let me download anything on the computer. for my guitar lesson, i need to somehow listen to landslide by fleetwood mac because thats the song have to learn this week. but the problem is, my mom doesnt have any music software on her computer, so i cant download the song. ive checked on myspace and purevolume, but the song isnt on there. is there anywhere i can listen to the song without downloading it or buying anything?
thanks so much! (link)
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Just a tip - they probably played it differently, but you can also check for the Dixie Chicks version of the same song.
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my period started the 26th of june. now i had sex on the 5th of july. this isnt during my most fertile time is it? my cycle ranges from 27-32 days. the condom broke. i am worried that i may be pregnant. i am also on the pill. but i started the 1st of july. i was wondering the possibility of being pregnant. and also if i should get the morning after pill just in case.
and also do you know if i can take the morning after pill while on the birth control pill. (link)
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I hate to directly contradict another advisor, but you are most fertile approximately 14 days (or half way through your menstrual cycle) after the first day of your period. It's not true that you are at your most fertile right before your period. That means that in the current cycle, you are likely most fertile around July 10-11th. That doesn't mean your chances of getting pregnant are too low for you to bother with. It's still a good idea to get Plan B or to call your doctor to see if there's anything you can do. Most likely, you didn't conceive, but anytime sperm enters the vagina, there's a chance.
It's great that you were using a condom and protecting yourself with the pill. A backup method never hurts. Of course, the pill won't be at full effectiveness yet. I'd advise you to call your doctor.
Sabine
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hi, im 14 just turned it im tamil and basically when you have your period you have a ceremony its really big in a hall and you wear a bra well this show off girl that i know is having hers on the 15 july i havent had mine yet she shows off about it and it will be embarassing for me to be there as she just turned 13 and i havent had mine im upset please help thanks!
(link)
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Sweetie, I don't really know what to say except what I've already said. You will get your period when your time comes.
Every person develops differently. Some of us walk at 10 months of age. Some of us don't walk until 16 months of age. All of that is a range or normal. I know how stressful it is not to have developed while a girl who is a year younger than you has already.
Just remember this: her ability to menstruate is not a sign that she is better than you. It does not take intelligence, skill, a good personality, or even hard work in order to menstruate. It only takes your body's ability to produce hormones. Women in comas have periods. The ability to bleed is a milestone, yes, but it is not an accomplishment.
You must simply trust that your body will do it when it is able. Until then, no amount of worrying will help. If you think this girl will embarass you at her party, you should either choose not to attend, or attend, but understand that the ability to bleed is not something she earned. It's just a bodily function. It will happen for you and you will have your party.
Best wishes,
Sabine
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In the middle of August I'm going to the beach, and I realized that during that week I'll be getting my period, lucky me. I'm on birth control pills that have three weeks of birth control and then one week of sugar pills. I heard that to skip your period for the month you can start taking the next pack of regular pills when you're supposed to start the sugar pills. Is this true, and does it really work?
If it is, I'll make an appointment with my doctor and everything, I just want to know if it can actually work. [And yeah I realize it might be unhealthy but I doubt one skipped period will kill me haha.] Well thank you for answering. (link)
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It's good that you're going to consult your doctor, but unless you need to go in, this is probably something s/he can tell you about over the phone.
Many women take the hormone-containing pills back-to-back and don't bother with the sugar pills. You can probably do this. You should understand that the risks are that it may slightly increase your risk for a blood clot (even over taking it with the sugar pills) so don't smoke, and it may slightly increase your risk of bone loss. Other than that, it's pretty safe. There are birth control pills where women have their periods only every three months and some women are choosing not to have periods at all by taking the pills continuously.
In fact, it's not really the hormones that will cause P.M.S., it's the change in the balance of hormones. When the balance between the estrogen and progesterone changes, we get P.M.S.. That's why docs prescribe birth control pills in order to regulate and control P.M.S.. Not all pills do this, however. It depends on whether yours is the 'mini' pill with more progesterone, etc.
Anyway, doctors are used to this question. They often have brides skip the sugar pills if their periods would come during the honeymoon, etc. It's not unusual.
Just call your doctor and I'm sure you'll get the answer you need.
Sabine
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I felt the inside of my uterus for the first time, and now i feel bumps. They are big and swollen. Is this genitial herpes? or just a normal thing? can u get g.h from sex or anything else? Thanks (link)
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Okay, I can pretty much guarantee you didn't feel the inside of your uterus. You would have to have recently had your cervix dilated by either a baby or a doctor, pretty much, in order to do that.
You probably felt the inside of your vagina. It's normal for the inside walls of the vagina to feel smooth except for some bumps near the entrance (it feels rough, kind of wrinkled). There are many things that can cause bumps, including genital herpes (though most people have lesions on the labia as well). Yes, you can get genital herpes from sex. Also from receiving oral sex from someone with a mouth infection of herpes. You can get it from any contact with any body part infected with the herpes virus. If a man has herpes and touches his penis before touching your vagina, you can get herpes.
The only way to find out what these bumps are and whether they're something to be concerned about is to see a doctor.
Sabine
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why do people like to have unprotected sex when they're not trying to get pregnant?? does it feel better...or give you more pleasure doing it without a condom??? (link)
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People sometimes have unprotected sex because they're too lazy, but I think more often it's because of one of the following factors:
1) Alcohol/substances - can mess with your judgment
2) Lack of planning - they didn't bring a condom or weren't on the pill because they didn't know tonight would be "the night"
3) desire to avoid being thought of as slutty - they don't want to carry contraception in case their intended partner got the idea that they had sex often (in a new relationship)
4) denial or being naive - feeling that nothing will happen to them or believing correctly or incorrectly that their partner is disease-free
5) misconceptions - some people think a person cannot get pregnant with her first intercourse experience (not true)
6) religious restrictions on contraception
7) passion - in the heat of things they're too embarassed or don't want to interrupt the passion to get birth control
Yes, the feeling of sexual intercourse is more pleasant without a condom (no different with a diaphragm, sponge, IUD, birth control pill, etc.), and I think that's one reason men want to have sex without condoms. Most women don't mind them - it's just the men who seem to complain that sensation is diminished.
Hope I helped.
Sabine
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hi, i have just turned 14 and my period hasnt arrived yet i used to masturbate with pens and dirty objects will this affect it and my friends all have started theirs and talk about when it is and how they have to wear this many pads and stuff i don't want anyone to know my period hasnt started im really scared and upset please help me thank you so much. Will i ever start it?
xxx (link)
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My period arrived just after I turned 14. I felt the same way you did. Girls these days are starting earlier. The average used to be 12. I think girls as young as 9 are getting their periods now.
I can't say you're better off without it because I remember that feeling of being different and worrying whether I was normal. At one point, I felt inside my vagina and thought my cervix was a penis. I thought I was intersex for a while! I don't know what to say because "don't worry" doesn't work. I believe you are very likely completely normal and your period will come when it's your time. I believe your time will be soon. Medical guidelines say that you should see your doctor for evaluation if you haven't started menstruating by the age of 16. I wish I could say something to make it better, but all I can say is that I was once where you are now and it all turned out fine for me. I'm not intersex. I have a child. All that stuff works fine. I think you will eventually find that things work out for you as well.
THEN you can happily write in for advice about how to use tampons and asking why your period is irregular or complaining about cramps, acne, and PMS. :) Looking forward to it.
Hang in there.
Sabine
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ok i asked this question::
ok im not sick or anything.
but for about a while (many months) now ive noticed my toncils and back of my throat are coverd in bumps everywhere!! but there not white. there red.
sometimes they get erriated, but rather than that i dont feel them.
at first i didnt know this was normal or not.
so haha i checked all my freinds to see if they have them and they dont!
does anyone else ever had/have this?? please help cause im a healthphoibic and im freaking out that im going to dye! =/
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this one girl said i have bad tonsils and that i might have to get them remmoved!!
please i need your help on this cause i cant handel hospitals,surgry,or any of my bodyprarts being removed.
do you think i should get it checked out?
thanks sooo much! xox (link)
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Okay. You have a body part that looks different from others' but doesn't hurt or make you sick. It doesn't change your appearance.
You're not going to die. You probably don't even have anything wrong with your tonsils. If you're worried about it, you should see a doctor. The doctor would likely just say everything's fine - why would they do surgery on something that doesn't even make you sick? If the doctor did say there was something wrong, you could then take care of it (probably just antibiotics if anything) or you could ignore his/her advice.
I didn't answer this question at first because I get chemotherapy and I have surgical procedures about every 3 weeks. I have 8 different specialists. If I freaked out over red bumps that don't hurt, I'd just be freaking out all the time. I have to be tough. I have no choice. I have a hard time dealing with people who can't handle simple medical issues without getting hysterical.
These are not a big deal. I'm sure you have other things to think about and put your attention into. It's silly to jump to conclusions about needing surgery (advice from a teenager who never went to medical school, even if she is a very nice person and a sweet friend). It's even sillier to think you're going to die. I don't wish to insult you or hurt your feelings, but you're *way* overreacting.
If you want to be reassured, go to a doctor. If you want to avoid doctors, then you'll have to find a way to deal with not knowing what those things are. But I can tell you, I worked in the medical field for quite some time and there is not a single fatal disease I know of that has as its main symptom red bumps on the throat.
I hope you can figure out how to make yourself feel better. :)
Sabine
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last night, sabine, from around 11 PM to 3 AM, my friend and i [not in a chatroom, in two separate IM windows] were talking to my sort of crush. he was just someone that i thought was hot, but slightly had feelings for.
i would make silly comments after my friend would copy & paste something he said, like, "omg he's so hot" or " (link)
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Yikes! At fourteen, everything's confusing, isn't it? The only solution to the confusion that I know of is to tell the truth.
I would tell my crush in person, or if I couldn't do it that way on IM, that I really was the person who liked him, but when he guessed, I got nervous, panicked, and denied it. I would say that I was afraid to put my feelings out there. I would apologize for lying.
But now you should be totally honest with him that you do like him. No playing games. That does not lead to good relationships.
Best of luck.
Sabine
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Hey,
I am Canadian and I might want to go to university in America. I was wondering if I still have to take the SATs?
Thanks (link)
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The SATs are required for most of the better schools. Some schools require either SATs or the ACT. Some schools will accept a test called the PSAT. There are some schools, like community colleges, which don't require any sort of standardized testing. I went to the University of Colorado at Boulder, which is a state school, and I never took the SATs, though I did get a pretty good score on the ACTs. Even if the SAT is not required, it doesn't hurt to submit scores for it, especially if you did well. It can only help to prove that you are college material.
Best of luck.
Sabine
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I'm 22 years old. When I was 19, I got married and my husband and I decided to have a baby. Well, I had a miscarriage. I was devestated, but I decided to try again. Well my husband and I split up for various reasons, and I was engaged to another guy. Well, I got pregnant again, and later had another miscarriage. I started to feel extremely scared, so I went to my doctor and asked him what was wrong. He told me that it was just a flaw and that I could conceive a baby. So I tried again. About 5 months ago I became pregnant with twins. Well, I just lost one of the twins, and I'm ready to sue the doctor. I guess what I'm asking is, can I sue him, and will I ever be able to conceive my own child? And what should I do about this baby? (link)
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It's a possibility you could sue, but your chances of success depend on the laws in the state in which you reside.
So you're 5 months pregnant with twins and one of them is dead inside you??? It seems your doctor should have some sort of plan and should at this point be transferring your care to a high-risk OB/GYN, also known as a perinatologist. I am not sure what exactly your situation is, what the treatment will be, etc., but it depends on the cause of the death of the fetus. I hope that the surviving one is healthy and can make it to term.
There are many things that can cause a woman to have serial miscarriages. Your doctor can do tests, including bloodwork, to find out what keeps going wrong. Chances are that one in two women who get pregnant will have a miscarriage or stillbirth sometime in her life. Sometimes it's late-term, and sometimes it's before the missed period, but pregnancy is a complex process and if everything does not go perfectly well, there can be dire consequences.
The first thing I would do, if I were you, is to find a high-risk OB and try to find out what's going wrong before you lose this child as well. After you figure out what's happening, you may be able to prevent another miscarriage or make a decision about whether you should conceive more children. You can then think about whether it's appropriate to sue your MD when you know more.
Best wishes, and you have my sympathies on the loss of your child.
Sabine
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I was wanting to go to sixflags over texas.
In Arlington Texas and I was wondering if anyone knew the normal price of a sixflag's ticket, without any discounts.
Thankyou.
:D (link)
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That was easily Googled. It's $47 for an adult, $34.99 for children under 4 feet tall.
Add'l info: I Googled Six Flags Texas, went to their page, clicked on something that said 'buy tickets,' scrolled past their special pricing, and found where it said 'ticket price at the gate.' You should be able to find it this way if you ever need to again. :) HAVE FUN!
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I am having some bleeding and its way too early for my period but i am having heavy bleeding and no clotting. I had sex like a week ago and the guy did use protection but it could have broke or something. I heard that if you are pregnant you cant use a tampon but I am using one and its kind of comfortable. But I just need some advice on what may be happening and I dont have the money right now to buy a pregnancy test. I am only 17 I really need some advice..please help me thank you (link)
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That's completely not true that pregnant women can't bleed. Not true. Many women bleed with the change of hormones and with the implantation of the embryo into the uterus. Many women bleed when the pregnancy is not healthy for some reason and they are about to miscarry. Is it possible that you have been pregnant for a few weeks? Was last week your first time having sex?
I agree that the only thing to do is go see someone at a clinic or at Planned Parenthood.
You're probably not pregnant (if you're pregnant, you can use a tampon, but you shouldn't have to), but it would be best to have someone take a look to find out where the blood is coming from if it doesn't seem like a normal period. By the way, pregnancy tests are something like 2 for $10 at Target. Can your boyfriend contribute?
Please take care of yourself. It's probably nothing, but heavy bleeding between periods is sometimes a bad sign. I hope you go and find nothing but reassurance.
Sabine
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