I guess you could say I love giving advice -
I'm an older sister, a tutor and a psych freak to boot! I always try to be honest and sincere. My school motto was "do unto others as you wish them to do unto you" and I really take that to heart. Any questions I'm capable of answering (love, relationships, general problems, cultural stuff about Thailand, bicultural issues, etc.), I will answer.
Gender: Female
Location: Bangkok, Thailand
Occupation: Graduate student
Age: 22
Member Since: July 11, 2005
Answers: 67
Last Update: June 6, 2008
Visitors: 8490
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Hi i am a 23 years old muslim girl from leicester. Nowadays i am recieving numorous witheld number calls and threatening text messages. I have had a relationship with a guy who i have no contact with. First when i recieved the text i thought they were send to wrong number. But it's everyday now that i recieve them. Each one has threatening message like "i will kidnap you" unless i do what he wants. Now he has warned me that he is going to send pictures of my relationship with the guy to my parents. I am very scared and confused and can't even sleep. I don't want my parents to know because my dad has recently had an heart operation and i can hurt them.
Please help me find a solution to this problem as i can't go to the police or tell family or friends.
Thankyou (link)
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I want to understand why you feel you can't go the police. I understand your apprehension about talking to your family, but why the police? They have trained professionals to deal with just this kind of situation. You're 23, and that's of legal adult age - you can ask them to keep it all very discreet. This sounds very frightening and until you know for *sure* that's nothing more than a prank, I would be very scared. Go to the authorities. Swallow your fear of your family and understand that you should fear for your life. All of this stress is also hurting you more than it should. Go to the police; show them the messages and explain the whole situation to them. Let them handle it and I assure you, you will feel much better. At the very least, you won't be suffering alone. I wish you luck and be safe.
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Okay....I really want to like write a movie script but I have NO IDEA what to write about. Anyone hav any ideas?? Thanks! I'll rate a 5 to anyone who gives me 3 or more ideas!! (link)
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Your life is swimming in great ideas for a movie!
Try some writing exercises (easily found online) and you'll be surprised how the ideas start flowing. Here are some to start you off:
1) Write a script about your life seen through the eyes of another person, or to make it interesting, the eyes of a pet or an inanimate object.
2) Write a movie that would fit this tagline: "The worst day of his/her life is about to be the best..."
3) People love routing for the underdog; why not write about the person who has everything? The challenging part is: what's their problem? Stay away from the staid cliches of "poor little rich girl" or the "misunderstood Adonis". Go for something original - the jock who's great at football but only wants to paint like Monet.
4) Write a script for a title that begins "The Life and Times of..."
5) Think of the worst movie you ever watched and try to analyze what made it bad. Rewrite it with new characters, a new improved plot and fix all those mistakes. Hey, new movies are pretty much rehashes of old movies anyway and everyone loves a remake!
Happy writing!
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i had unprotected sex about 3 days ago. he didn't cum inside me, so i know i'm not pregnant. but could i still have gotten any stds, even though there haven't been any signs so far? (link)
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If you had unprotected sex, even if he did not ejalucate into you, there are certain pre-ejaculatory liquids that come out during foreplay that do contain minor amounts of sperm. There is a chance that you might get pregnant (although lower than if he had ejaculated into you directly). STDs often do not manifest themselves right away - some have a long incubation period, maybe up to months. The best way is to get tested an anonymous clinic and stop sex until the results come in. And try to avoid unprotected sex if possible or if you think it will be hard, at least get tested and go on the pill or some other sort of contraception you can take before time.
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hi i am a brunette and i want to make my hair darker, does anybody have any natural hair dyes/darkeners? (link)
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Henna is a natural dye that darkens hair; ask a beauty professional about it. In Thailand, we use crushed butterfly pea flowers to darken hair - they're small purple flowers with papery petals. I'm not sure where you can find these or even if you can, but you might be able to find hair creams that use it. Ask a professional for advice.
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condom packages always say that they are like 99% effective if used correctly and stuff, but in school we learned that since condoms are latex like balloons, they have tiny holes in them that sperm can swim through. wtf. how effictive is that? (link)
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First of all, any birth control of the non-pill variety is NEVER 99% effective, even when used perfectly (which they almost never are). This includes condoms - whoever told you that condoms are 99% effective or somewhere along those lines was greatly exaggerating. Secondly, yes, condoms are latex, but the pores or microscopic holes in condoms are much too small for viruses, bacteria or sperm to pass through - making condoms one of the only forms of birth control that also prevents STDs, sexually transmitted diseases. (i don't think balloons are made of latex either, but don't quote me on that) so latex is a perfectly safe and logical choice for condoms; if you don't think so, look around the doctor's office on your next check-up - what material are his/her gloves made of? that's right - latex, because it's flexible, comfortable and keeps out a variety of disease-causing agents without costing too much. that being said, what makes condoms useless in almost all respects is misuse. never use an oil-based lubricant with condoms - the oil will punch holes in the condom that will make the pores large enough for sperm and STD agents such as HIV. never use an old condom or one kept in a hot, exposed place for a long period of time or one that's torn. a combination of spermicide and an condom increases a condom's power to guard against pregnancy, but not STDs. if unsure, consult this website http://www.avert.org/usecond.htm or a health professional. the best prevention of all is still good old abstinence. hope this has answered your question.
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ok so i hear if you take test and it comes out positive, there is still a chance it can be wrong and your really not pregnant. i also hear if it comes out negative..it can be inacurate as well and you really could be pregnant..therefore how is taking a pregnancy test a good indicator if your pregnant or not? are you supposed to take like 4 in a row and see whatever answer comes out the most?
little confused
thanks (link)
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Most pregnancy tests print a margin of error on the box or somewhere in the instructions. For instance, it might say something like, "97% accurate", meaning that 97 times out 100, if it's positive, you're pregnant. The margin of error is usually very small, and it's put there because so many things can affect the chemicals used to test for pregnancy - the test may be defective, you might have used it wrong etc. The home pregnancy test is not meant to be a definitive indicator of pregnancy; only a medical check-up is, but some people would like to get a small idea first whether they're expecting or not in the privacy and comfort of their own home. As for whether you should take 4 in a row or not, I say, why not? Although 2 would probably be okay, but statistically speaking, if you take four tests and they're all positive, it's very likely you're pregnant - much more likely than if you only take one. Think of it like the lottery - the more tickets you have, the more chance you have of winning. In this case, the more you take, the more you eliminate the chance that you have a false positive or a false negative. I hope that answers your question.
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my husband is an alcholic, he promises to stop drinking but i always seem to find bottles of beer hidden in different places how can i help him stop he seems to think he is not hurting anyone but i dont like the drunken behaviour in front of my kids even though they are grown up but now he has his first grandchild and yet he still wont stop, you see he stopped drinking for 22 years and for the last 5 he has been secretly drinking cause everytime i find his bottl es we argue can you advise me please. (link)
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You could consult a health professional for pills that once added to alcohol, make you horribly sick and may turn him off to it. You could get the pills, find his secret stash, add the pills to an opened, half-empty bottle or open one and close it back up (not sure if that will work)and when he drinks it, he'll get very sick. maybe that will make him realize how awful it really is. i wish you luck!
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Ok I have a really small plain room and it gets veeeery messy. the amount of space when its CLEAN to walk in is even smaller than a walk-in closet! And I can't move out any of the furniture because they're all nailed into the wall! What can I do to make it less messy and make it look nicer? It's so, well, PLAIN and I'm not even allowed to paint it. I like lava lamps and miniature desk water fountains and things like that if it helps!!!! thanx a lot, I will rate high for anyone who gives a reasonable answer (link)
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the key to living in a small room is: organization. Keep everything neatly in boxes or on shelves and things that you don't use often, store in clear plastic storage bins and stick it under your bed (if possible) or in your closet. Throw out anything you don't like or need - seriously consider all the things you have and ask yourself, "Does this deserve a place in here?" If the answer is no, toss it. You can look online for inexpensive crafts to make - I made a wishing well pen holder from an old soup can and popsicle sticks that was cheap, keeps my pens and things tidy and looks adorable. Filling your room with personalized things will make it look nice and as long as you limit yourself to small things or things that can be hung, there should be no problem. Happy decorating!
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I'm doing Community Service at my church helping out for Vaction Bible School and I'm the teacher of 4-year-olds. I need some ideas on what kid of things to do with them. There are 5 boys and ever so often a girl. (link)
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Little boys are usually very competitive, so try to make everything into a game of some sort. For instance, if you're doing crafts, have them make clean-up into a race - the fastest and neatest wins a prize. You could have a prize system based on Bible themes - who ever collects all the 10 commandments first wins a Bible or something along those lines. Simple kid games can be revamped with a religious theme - hide and seek can become "Find Moses in the reeds" or something of that sort. And if all else fails, teaching them hymns to sing and asking them to create their own prayers are great calming-down activities. Just display a healthy amount of enthusiasm and most kids will fall in line. Good luck!
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the following is something i found on another website..im asking this question becausee the same thing happened to me. in the answer, the person menitoned how the liklness goes down after more time passes..what about 10 minutes? and is this persons answer entirely correct? and guys, you dont jizz on your hands right? i mean why would you?
Me and my bf were messing around and he ejaculated. A bit after this, he was fingering me and I'm just wondering, is there any possible way sperm could be on his hands and enter my vagina in this way to cause me to get pregnant?
- warpedo, 15, female from
[bio's comment: Yep, especially if he got ejaculate on his hands and fingered you immediately afterwards. The risk goes down the more time there is between the two activities, but it's not entirely impossible to get pregnant that way.]
* * *
(link)
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It's quite possible. Sperm are very hardy and they can survive for a long while, especially in the female body. It's probably safer to be on birth control before engaging in any sexual activity, even ones with a very low chance of pregnancy. Better safe than sorry.
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ok so i have acne and i've tried some stuff but its not working.. its not that bad but still i'd like for it 2 b gone.. so wat do i do? (link)
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I'm guessing you're in your teen years? Acne is perfectly normal for teenagers because of the flux of hormones through the body and despite what you may hear, there's no one definitive cause. that being said, you can try to decrease your intake of fatty and sugary foods (these help feed the bacteria that cause acne) and keep your face clean - not too clean, because that will strip it of its natural oils, which is also harmful. don't touch your face with dirty hands and avoid those oil absorbing sheets, if you use them, they're actually a big culprit. choose a facial soap suitable for your skin type (consult a professional) and avoid using a mixture of many different products. the reaction between them and your skin may actually increase the acne. Finally, even if you do all this, you may STILL have acne - it just happens sometimes. If you're bothered, consult a health professional. Otherwise, just keep yourself clean and rest assured, it'll clear up in its own time.
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i start school soon & the doctor says i can use herbal stuff to help me get to sleep earlier than im us eto...have any of you used it and tel me if its worked? thanks (link)
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hmmm, i don't know about taking sleep aids of any kind - when i have trouble falling asleep, i go to sleep a little earlier and keep myself as relaxed as possible. trying to avoid any really stimulating activities right before bedtime (exercising, eating, watching an action movie) can also help, and sometimes, the good old count the sheep method is good too. sweet dreams.
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i have a mole under my arm like right where u shave and everytime i shave it bleeds what can i do i want it off but with out surgury (link)
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You might want to attach a bandaid on it before shaving, or some other sort of barrier that will keep the razor from touching it.
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okay my boyfriend n i are both virgins....but we do fool around n last night we did and he fingered me n went down on me and that night i noticed i was bleeding a lil which i didnt think much about because i figured he just kinda ripped me cuz i know thats normal well today it was like i had my period but i jus had it not last week but the week b4 that and my periods not like that im 17 yrs old i think i would know. n the botom of the tampon is the only part that gets bloody and the string and its a REALLY dark color blood. N i was wondering if a guy goes down on you n he kinda sucks on you when you orgasm...can that cause you to bleed? Or should i be concerned? (link)
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First of all, don't panic. Nine times out of ten, everything is perfectly fine. From what you've said, it sounds as though your boyfriend may have ruptured a few small blood vessels during your interaction. You should seek medical advice for this, because although the damage might be minor, the infections and problems that may follow it may not. If you're embarrassed, don't be. If you're old enough to be engaging in this sort of activity, you're old enough to start taking responsibility for your own help. Ask your boyfriend to take you to an anonymous clinic or go to a hospital you're sure no one will recognize you at. DON'T LEAVE IT ALONE. It worries me that you think that because you're 17, you would "know" about your period. No woman actually "knows" about her period, except maybe an Ob-gyn or other expert. our periods are very variable, and hinge on a number of factors, from food intake, mood, emotional state, anxiety or even medication. the only thing we can claim to "know" is about what time our periods should arrive (but even then, if highly anxious or underfed, we may skip a cycle). darker blood may be due to a number of factors (increased iron intake, perhaps), but if you ever see anything that is strange about your period, never hesitate to consult a health professional. you're lucky if it's nothing and at least you'll learn something. if *is* something, at least you will have caught it in time. better safe than sorry, that's my motto. try to stay attuned to your body; it will tell you when something's wrong. and on another note, be sure to keep some condoms handy whenever you and your boyfriend fool around. you never know when the mood will strike you to relieve yourselves of your virginity. I wish you luck.
Addendum: Honey, I have no idea what your comment means, but I'm going to reiterate and say "No woman knows her own period, NO ONE." We might think we do, but then we have a stressful week or eat too much meat or something, and it goes out of whack. I never said you would know your period, I said you should have a rough estimate of what your "normal" cycle is (i.e about what time it usually comes around), but really, it's just a matter of you happened to avoid any major lifestyle changes that month. Just because you are 17 does not mean you know all there is to know about your body; women who are much older than you haven't a clue sometimes. That's why there are doctors and other health professionals. Try to understand that and you'll be much safer and healthier.
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This sounds stupid but yeah..
Ok, so im a young teen, and my friends are more "matured" then me.I mean like they have boobs and i dont ; they have their period and i dont.I went for that check-up thing when your about 12-13 .. and they said i wouldnt start maturing till im a freshmen, well its not that long away im going into eigth grade .. but i feel like boys wont like me and i feel unconfortable in bathing suites around boys .. what should i do .. just deal with it? (link)
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I wouldn't just say "deal with it" because if someone had said that to me when i was 13, i would've told them to shove it. having said that, i was 13 once and i know what you mean - on the other side of the fence. i "matured" early and let me tell you, it's not easy on the other side either. i had my period at 11 and my breasts came in early too and they were large. i was uncomfortable in a swimsuit and around boys - for the opposite reason than you. i thought i was weird for blossoming so quickly. my advice is: everyone grows at a different rate and people like you for different things. if they like you because you have a "nice rack", i guarantee, you won't like that guy so much. and don't feel uncomfortable in your bathing suit - believe me when i say even some of the most beautiful women in the world have body hang-ups. be proud of what you *do* have and rest assured, you'll start to mature soon as well and you won't think it's such a big deal then. good luck!
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what exactly is a condom ,where do u put it, do girls where them, and what do they do? is there a certain age to buy them? (link)
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A condom is a specific type of birth control in the barrier method category. It looks like an elongated balloon and may or may not be lubricated. It is very thin and fits snugly over the male genitalia (the penis). It prevents sperm from entering the female partner and is the only form of birth control that protects against certain types of sexually transmitted diseases (only with perfect use and even then, not 100%). Girls do not wear condoms, although they have not introduced the female condom that is used much like a diaphragm and is inserted like a tampon. There is no certain age to buy them; use them when you are sexually active to prevent pregnancy and STDS, but remember, they are never 100% effective, even if you use them perfectly. Do not use lubricants on them without consulting a professional; some lubricants punch holes in the latex, making them useless. A combination of condoms and birth controls pills is the best bet to prevent pregnancy, but not STDS. Abstinence (not having sex) is the only perfect solution to preventing pregnancy and STDs.
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i think im bi polar does anyone kno the symptoms of that and liek on min im happi then out of no where im crying! is something wrong with me pleaseee helpp!!1 ill rate 5's for any advice (link)
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Bipolar disorder used to be known as "manic-depressive disorder"; this name is actually more informative. what happens is, the sufferer alternates between periods of extreme "mania" (an period of being extremely "up", running around as if on an adrenalin rush, a state of extreme euphoria) and periods of extreme depression (feelings of sadness and low worth, perhaps fatigue and thoughts of suicide). I believe that these symptoms must last over 6 months for you to be diagnosed as bipolar. If you suspect you may be bipolar, consult a mental health professional. You may need therapy or medication. I wish you luck.
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does anyone know a really good recipe for a dinner [preferably vegatarian, but if it's not that's OK] that could feed a family of 5 or 6? (link)
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For a Thai meal, we usually have one stir-fry dish, a soup dish, a fried dish and steamed dish, all eaten with rice. You could stir-fry some vegetables in a spicy garlic and chili powder sauce, boil some carrots and potatoes for a soup, fried some eggplants in breadcrumbs and steam cabbage stuffed with mushrooms that were previously mixed with shallots and soy sauce. Just add rice, and there you go - a nice vegetarian meal.
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This is a stupid little thing.. but oh wells.
As of now, I'm hungry. I need something to snack on! Any ideas of what I could make for a little midnight snack?
Haha. Thanks!! (link)
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I sometimes take a tomato, cut it in half, scoop out the innards, put some mozarella in the middle, microwave it for the cheese to melt and there we go. Potato chip sandwiches (yes, it's a normal sandwich with potato chips where the meat would be) are a nice variation on a theme. If all else fails, next time, pick up some instant noodles. Happy midnight snacking!
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I'm not sure what to give my 1 year old child for breakfast. He is allergic to eggs and I don't think those baby jar foods of mixed cereal and oatmeal fill him up that much. Anyone have any ideas?? (link)
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My mom used to blend coarsely rice that had been boiled beforehand in some homemade vegetable stock. Healthy and tasty and easy to eat.
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