Hey everyone. :) I'm Lindsey, and I'm currently 17 years old. I mostly like to give advice involving sexual health and sexual education, partially because I find it interesting, and also because so many teens aren't as informed as they should be. Please keep in mind that I have no medical training and don't consider myself an authority on any of the subjects which I offer advice on. I do try to provide facts but talking to your doctor is ALWAYS a better alternative to asking someone online.
E-mail: kirkdip1234@hotmail.com
Gender: Female
Location: Canada
Age: 18
MSN: kirkdip1234@hotmail.com
Member Since: April 17, 2008
Answers: 73
Last Update: April 2, 2013
Visitors: 4950
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hi there,
okay well..iv'e had this guy friend. "bestfriend" for about two years now, and he's great. He's actually more then great he's the best! he makes me laugh like no one else, im comfortable around him, and we just get eachother. we've never been more then "bestfriends" even though it always ran through my mind & some people would request it. i don't think nor do i believe there's anyone else out there that can make me happier then him. PROBLEMS.. hah number ONE he says he "hates me" i guess it goes with his mean humor i know he doesnt mean it. and he says it a lot. i know he's joking, we used to fight a lot about this "joking" that would upset me because it would go to far.. anyways i feel like when he says he hates me its like his code, like he's covering up for i love you because were "bestfriends"..problem TW0! were going to different highschools next yr because i moved and im afraid im gonna lose the one person who makes me feel best.. i dont know what to do, he's not one to let go ..even though im not sure how he feels. sorry if this was confusing, i just need help ASAP :( thanks! (link)
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Hey hon.
I normally don't give relationship/romance advice, but I have been in a similar situation so I'll try to help.
First of all, I agree about the whole 'I hate you thing'. I'm sure he's just playing and it's entirely possible that he uses that phrase to mask deeper feelings. At the very least, he cares about you enough to be your best friend, which is a lot!
Secondly, I really think that if you're going to pursue him for a relationship, now is the time. Even if he rejects you (which I think is unlikely - I'll get to that in a second), next year you will have the space you need to get over him, since you are going to different highschools. Adversely, if you don't tell him and he IS interested in you, you might grow apart and lose your chance.
Honestly, if you think he likes you, he probably does. I assume you know him very well, and a girls instincts are generally right about this sort of thing. I know it's a big risk and that there's a lot to lose, but I'm happy to say I took the same risk once and I've been with the boy involved for three years now. :) Things really can work out, and if you have faith they probably will.
Anyways I don't know how helpful it was, but it's just what sprung to mind. I'm typing to you at nearly 3 in the morning where I am, so my thoughts are a little fuzzy!
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Do guys have a specific sized nipple that they like? Like is big or small better. How do you make your nipples appear smaller? (link)
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All men are different, and thus all men like different body types.
I personally find that my nipples seem smaller when they are erect, but not significantly so. You can squeeze and play with them in order to make them erect, or if you're significantly aroused it may happen on its own. Other than that, I don't know any more noticable ways.
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when guys finger you do they go down and look at it? or just do it while aking out with you
and when theyre down and youve ejeculated or whatever on there finger do they get grossed out or just wipe it off (link)
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There's not one way of doing it. Each boy will have different technique and different reaction. But it's unlikely that a boy who is fingering you would be grossed out by your fluids - if he were, then why would he do it in the first place?
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im 16 years old.
and a female.
i have been with the same guy for about two years now. and yes, we are sexually active. i was just wonderin if i was supose to douche and how often. (link)
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Most doctors feel that douches actually do the opposite of what they are supposed to. The basic premise is that by pushing water up inside you it washes out any bacteria - but when the water moves up inside you the bacteria moves with it, thus defeating the purpose.
I would just suggest you got to your local grocery store and purchase a gentle vaginal wash such as Vagisil.
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Ok well I'm still a virgin
And I want to keep it that way untill I find someone I love
But I'm a girl and ya no we get..needy?
=]
So I use my razor to masturbate with
Its ridged and i can take the top off to be safe
But lately thats not so good anymore
Is there anything else I can use?
I'm 14
And I can't use anything over like 1 inch thick 'cause it starts to hurt and I'm afriad it'll break my virgin walls
I do this in the shower ONLY
HELP ME!
lol
I need advice for my next shower
=]
Please don't give me links and stuff saying don't do that;; your too young;; or lecture about the consequenses. I get it (link)
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Buy an eletric toothbrush and use it to stimulate your clitoris.
I know it sounds weird, but it really works. My tooth brush was my first sex toy and to this day I still default back to it on occasion, despite owning plenty of proper vibrators now. You might be a little sensitive at first, but it provides a really powerful orgasm.
Just make sure to use a SEPERATE tooth brush for brushing your teeth! Not just because it's icky, but because them remains of sugary foods that end up on your toothbrush could cause certain infections down there.
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17/Female :)
So im really worried about it hurting my first time. I just started using tampons and feel like im really tight and that my hymen is probablly really thick. Can anyone give me their personal stories about their first time and how it felt/if it hurt/if you bled.
Also what are some ways i can stretch/slowly break my hymen so it doesnt hurt. thanksssss (link)
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Hi there. :)
I've been having sex since I turned 14, and losing my virginity was extremely painful for me. For most women, it only stings the first or first few times, but for me it hurt almost unbearably for nearly a month after I started having sex. This is because my partner and I neglected to use what may be the most important tool for your first time and beyond: SEXUAL LUBRICANT. It's not very expensive, and you can get it from your local grocery store and even some convenience stores. You don't need to go to some seedy sex shop to obtain it. It doesn't even occur to most teenagers to use, but it is CRUCIAL, especially if you're a small girl or your partner is well endowed- both of which were true of me and my partner. Applying some to the opening and inner lips of your vagina, and coating his penis in a thin layer as well, will make it SO MUCH easier for him to enter you and so much less painful. I really can't emphasize this enough, I reccomend it to every person who asks about losing their virginity. I wish somebody had suggested it to me three years ago when I was in the same position.
Another simple trick, is simply make sure you're really turned on beforehand! Make time for plenty of foreplay, because the wetter and more excited you are the more accomdating your body will be. Your first time doesn't have to be an unpleasant experience, as long as you take it slow and make sure you both really want it.
For me, breaking my hymen was almost painless. We found it easier to use his fingers to break my hymen before moving to vaginal sex, but that's a personal choice. But if you're concerned, try doing it on your own at home through masturbation. That way you can take it as slow as you need to and if it hurts too much, you can stop for a while and then try again.
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Exactly how dangerous is it to skip a period while on birth control? I go to the beach in two weeks and I will also be on my period then. Is it okay to just go on to the next pack and skip my period? If so, do I have to make up my period and have two in one month? Will it definitely work? If it doesn't work, should I go back to the period pills? Or is all this skipping around too much? Sorry for so many questions, but thanks for the help! (link)
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It's pretty safe to put off your period by continuing to use birth control. Some people might still bleed a little bit, this is called 'spotting'. Some people, like me, don't bleed at all. It is common to experience a heavier period afterwards, though. And no, you will not have to 'make up' for your period. Just continue taking pills until you are scheduled to have another period.
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how do you have sex? i don't get it. wow this is embarrassing (link)
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..Well, that's a pretty general question. I'm going to assume you know the basics of human anatomy. Basic vaginal sex occurs when a man becomes aroused and blood rushes into his penis. This causes it to become 'hard', and grow larger than when he is not aroused. He inserts his penis into a womans vagina, and moves it up and down to create friction. This friction provides sexual pleasure which causes the man to ejaculate 'cum', a mixture of semen and other bodily fluids, into the woman. The semen is stored in his testicles. This can cause the woman to become pregnant if 'protection' is not used during the sexual act.
Protection can come in the form of condoms, a thin plastic casing which goes over the male penis and catches what he ejaculates. If used properly, condoms are 99 percent effective. Sometimes, however, the condom can break or tear and fail to catch all of the semen, putting the woman at risk for pregnancy.
The other purpose that condoms serve, is that they are the only proven method to prevent passing on some sexually transmitted infections. If you don't know what that is, some people can carry infections in their bodies that get passed on during sex. These can range from fairly harmless and curable to deadly and incurable, and not all of them can be controlled by condoms. They can also be calleds STD's (sexually transmitted diseases) or venereal diseases. If you'd like to know more about the different kinds and how you can be safe, wikipedia is always a great resource. Try this link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexually_transmitted_disease .
There are other ways a woman can protect herself from pregnancy, but which don't protect from STI'S. These come in the form of birth-control pills, vaginal rings, birth control injections, and a huge range of other methods all of which can be prescribed by a doctor. Most of them are also 99 percent effective.
Most responsible sexually active people get tested once a year by their doctor to make sure they aren't carrying any STI's and are healthy.
Anyways, those are just the basics of vaginal sex. There are a bunch of other different kinds of sex. I will list some, but understand that there are LIMITLESS ways that people engage in sex acts and I will not be able to talk about them all. I will however mention the most common ones.
Anal sex: This is when the penis is inserted into an anus, the opening in your bum which you normally defecate out of. This can be done either with a man and a woman, or with two men. Most people use a condom during this act because there is an increased risk of passing sexual infections during anal sex, although you cannot become pregnant from this kind.
Oral sex: This is when one person uses their mouth to stimulate the other person, by sucking and licking their genitals. When you do this to a man this can sometimes be called a 'blow job', 'sucking off', or other slang. The proper scientific term is fellatio. When you do this to a woman, this can be called 'eating out'. The scientific term is cunnalingus. Both acts are often referred to as "going down" on someone.
Oral sex can also involve licking or sucking on the anus.
Digital sex: This is when the hands are used during sex. This can include rubbing or petting a womans outer genitals, or using your fingers to imitate the movement of a penis inside her. For men it can be anything from pulling on the penis, stroking it, rubbing the head, playing with the testicles, and endless other possibilities. Digital sex can also involve finger the anus.
These are just a few descriptions of the many ways people have sex. Sex can involve a man and a woman, two women, two men, or more than two people. If it involves three people it is often called a 'threesome', and if it's more it can be called an 'orgy', group sex, or many other terms.
Like I mentioned before, there are limitless other ways to have sex and people are experimenting and finding new ones every day. It would be impossible to list all the different ways people find sexual pleasure, but these are some basic ideas about it.
If you are unclear about anything, please feel free to ask more questions!
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i have been having sex for three years now.
this is going to make me sound slutty but i'm really not.
i have been with 8 different guys, and not one of them has been able to give me an orgasm..
i don't know if its me or something medical but it really makes me mad that everyone talks about how good it is, and i have never really had one.
most of the time i just fake it.
i don't know what to do help! (link)
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There are a lot of women who don't normally orgasm from intercourse because it doesn't stimulate the clitoris. There's nothing medically wrong with you, it is quite normal among women. An easy solution would be learning on your own what feel good through masturbation and experimenting with different toys, and then translating what you learn into your sex life. No one can tell you what's going to feel good or what's going to do it for you, you just have to learn that on your own.
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i've recently had itching in my vagina and it stings when i go pee.. what are those the symptoms of? (link)
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It could be any number of STD's, but more than likely it's just a urinary tract infection. They're pretty common, most women get a least one in the course of their life. You need to speak to your doctor and get tested to be sure though.
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Okay, so I’ve kinda lied about my sexual experience. Not just to one person, but to everyone I know. When I was 14, some of my friends started losing their virginity. And I didn’t want to be the odd one out, so there was this guy that they knew I liked, and he was moving. So I told them (untruthfully) that I had sex with him the night before he left. They didn’t have his number or anything so I knew they wouldn’t ask him. Anyway, so all my friends thought I wasn’t a virgin anymore. And whenever people would ask me I’d always say I wasn’t, usually because I was with my friends.
Now I’m 17 and I’m still a virgin. I’ve just never had a boyfriend that I was serious enough with to have sex with him. Well now, I’m really serious with my boyfriend and I’m totally into him, and given the chance I would definitely have sex with him. We’ve come very close a couple times, but I was drunk so he wouldn’t go through with it. The problem is he thinks I’m not a virgin, but I am.
I’m afraid that I’m not gonna know what to do when the time comes that we actually do have sex. I mean, if he knew it was my first time, I wouldn’t be so worried, but he’s probably gonna expect that I know what I’m doing, and he’s not a virgin so he’s gonna know.
I don’t want him or anyone else to know that I lied about it, so I need to find a way to make it work so that he doesn’t know I’m a virgin. I know I might bleed and that’ll give it away, but if he says anything about that then I know I’ll just say something like he’s bigger than the last guy I had sex with. So anyway my questions are: (they may be dumb but bear with me)
1. What should I do with my hands while he’s actually thrusting? Like what’s gonna be the hottest for him?
2. Should I kiss him during?
3. Should I give him a blowjob first?
4. How do I subtly let him know that I want him to lead? (most important) Because if he’s leading, that’ll probably take the pressure off me a little bit.
5. I’ve heard that sometimes the guy doesn’t fit…how do I make sure that doesn’t happen to me?
Please don’t give me any of that lecture “if you’re not ready…” stuff. I’ve been ready for a long time I just haven’t had the right guy.
(link)
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Well first and foremost, you need to tell your partner that you are a virgin. Rest assured, he will know. Even if your hymen is broken, you will still be a lot tighter then a non-virgin would be. And even if it does manage to escape his attention, it's not a healthy relationship if you can't speak honestly with eachother. Seriously, it might seem like an innocent lie now, but if you continue to let it build it will just get worse and worse. And then when he finally does find out, or you end up admitting it, it will be much more serious than if you were to do it now. It is much better just to be honest and clear the air now so that it doesn't come back to haunt you later.
I know you didn't want a 'you're not ready' lecture, but I really feel very strongly about this. If you aren't ready to talk about sex with your partner, and be honest with him, you are not ready to be having sex at all. Period.
I really hope you give this some thought.
But, nonetheless, I'm going to answer your questions.
1) Wherever they feel comfortable. On his hips, on his back, on his chest, perhaps even on his bum if he's comfortable with it. There is no right or wrong way, when the time comes your hands will just find a place to rest. As for what's hottest for him, all men are different, and thus all men like to be touched differently. You'll have to learn what he likes on your own.
2) Again, this will just come naturally. Sometimes during sex there is a lot of kissing, and sometimes you're too focused on the task at hand to kiss. It's all just a matter of preference. He won't be weirded out either way.
3) This is another question that comes down to what you prefer, but I will add this: the more foreplay you have before your first time, the better. The longer you have to become aroused, the more natural fluids your body will release to make him fit more easily inside you. So if you're worried about him fitting, oral sex, stimulation with your hands, and lots of touching beforehand is always a good plan. The more you want it the more accomodating your body will be.
4) If you want him to take the lead, you may have to play the waiting game a bit. Let him make the first moves, so that he naturally feels as though he's in control. Aside from that, there's really no way to ensure that he'll be the dominant one in that situation. Normally if you seem shy or uncertain, (which, as hard as you try not to, you probably will), he will automatically take the lead.
5) To prepare yourself beforehand, you might want to try loosening yourself up a bit with your own fingers. And like I mentioned before, the more foreplay the better. Finally, the most important tool for your first time and beyond is often forgotten. USE LUBE. If you forget everything else I've said, please try to keep this one thing in mind. Sexual lubricant can be found at your local grocery store, and even some gas stations. You don't have to go to some seedy sex shop to obtain it and it isn't very expensive. Lube will serve the same purpose that your own natural body fluids do, and you can never use too much. It will make it that much easier for him to enter, and much less painful for you.
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how many days do you ovulate? is it only like about three? and if you have unprotected sex a couple days after your done ovulating, should you be fine? (link)
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No, you cannot get pregnant when you're not ovulating.
But it's very hard to tell when you're ovulating, so rhythm methods rarely work.
This is because when you're a young woman, it is common for you to 'spontaneously ovulate'. This means at any time your body can kick back into ovulation, regardless of what time of the month it is or where you are in your cycle. You are never 'fine' having unprotected sex.
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OKay so i know this is a stupid question but i just wanna ask to make sure
So i was giving a h/j today and the guy jacked himself off while i got undressed (it was dry.. he had not came yet)
well he started to finger me afterward but he did not go in the hole... just like around it and stuff
so is there any way i could be pregnant..like with precum or anything.... like what are the chances?
btw i have never had sex or anything if that helps=\ (link)
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I've actually been reading recently that some studies are showing that pre-cum actually has no semen in it, meaning you can't be impregnated by pre-cum.
But until these studies hit popular media and are backed up by the medical community publicly, I would still regard pre-cum with caution.
The chances are very, very low that you're pregnant, but whenever you engage in sexual activity of any kind, there's a little risk involved.
But since it would only be a small quantity (if any) semen, it's unlikely that you will be effected. Yes, it only takes one sperm cell, but of the millions of sperm that a man normally ejaculates, very few will actually make it through the body and to the egg.
I honestly think you'll be fine, but if you miss your period be sure to take a pregnancy test. A girl who posted before me said you could take a test a few days after the actual act, but that isn't unless you are expecting your period soon. There are a few tests that can detect pregnancy a few days before you miss your period, but even then you still have to wait until just before it for the test to be effective.
As for the debate regarding how long sperm lives, it does depend on the conditions, but by understanding is that it normally lives 3-5 hours after leaving the body. There are factors that can change this including how much sperm there is, and what the temperature and atmosphere that it enters are like. However the mobility of the sperm is impaired the second it hits air, so the longer it is exposed to air the less likely that it will travel all the way through your cervix and locate your egg.
Please keep in mind that I'm not a medical professional and that I could be misinformed on any of the previous points. I am just giving you my impression.
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i know you get orgasms from sex and masturbating..
but what exactly does it feel like and how long does it normally last? and what things can you do to yourself to get an orgasm? and any extra info is apresiated :) (link)
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It feels different for everyone I'm sure, and is probably a different sensation depending on your gender. Some people also say that there are different types of orgasms, specifically for women. These are namely clitoral orgasms versus g-spot orgasms. A clitoral orgasm occurs when a woman orgasms through application of pressure, rubbing, licking or otherwise stimulating the clitoris, which is located at the top of the womans labia. If your not sure where that is, you can find labelled diagrams by searching on Google images.
The second kind, g-spot orgasms, are a bit more contraversial. Some women believe that there is a certain area within the vagina with increased sensitivity called the 'g-spot', which is thought to be located several inches in on the 'roof' of the vagina. However, experts have done scans of the female vagina and there is no cluster of nerve endings that would indicate the g-spot actually exists.
However, women do experience extreme pleasure and can often orgasm using motions which are supposed to stimulate the 'g-spot'. The most popular is simply insterting your fingers (or your partners fingers) into your vagina and moving them in a 'come-hither' motion. This means inserting them straight into the vagina with your knuckles facing the 'back' (towards your anus) and, once inside, curling the ends of your fingers and rubbing the 'roof' area.
Sorry if that's not a very good description, it's a bit hard to explain! You didn't say whether you were male or female, so I'm not sure if all that description will be of any help at all to you.
Anyways, I can't speak for everyone, but for me, an orgasm feels like all of the muscles in my body tensing, followed by an enormous rush of pleasure starting in my vagina and reverberating throughout my body. For me, and I think for most people, this only lasts a few seconds.
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how long do you have to wait after starting the pill until you don't have to use another form of contraceptive (like condoms) anymore? or i guess i'm asking how long until the pill is fully effective? (link)
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I remember it as being two weeks, but I haven't used the pill for years. Either way, the instructional booklet that comes with every package of pills should have that information in it.
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if you give head, and you've been eattin out are you still are virgin?
also, im a 14/f and me and my boyfriend are having sex soon for the first time. im pretty excited, but is there anything i should know.
dont tell me im to young, ill be mad :/ (link)
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Most people believe that a girl loses her virginity when a penis penetrates her vagina. But this raises a lot of questions for me - for instance, what about lesbians, who choose to never be penetrated by a man? They may have been having sex for years and years but by that definition, still be a 'virgin'. Another question would be, are women who have only had sexual contact within the context of rape considered non-virgins? There are plenty of arguements about this sort of thing, so as far as I'm concerned, 'virginity' is a matter of personal opinion. You are no longer a virgin when you come to that conclusion on your own.
And in reference to your first time, there are plenty of things I would suggest. First of all, plan for and obtain your method of birth control long before the actual act. It's always good to be prepared. Secondly, use lube. Lots of it. You can obtain it at your local grocery store and even some convenience stores. It's not very expensive and it will save you a world of pain. But make sure to purchase a lube which is sugar-free, even if it's flavoured, or else you may risk getting a bacterial infection.
Before the actual act, make sure to include lots of foreplay. There is no need to rush. The more time the both of you have to explore and to become aroused, the better it will be. When you get turned on, your body releases natural lubricants which will also make the sex less painful.
Finally, make sure you have a private place and plenty of time to spend together afterwards. It's not unusual to feel sad after your first time, and that's okay. Having him there to bond with afterwards will be a great comfort.
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I was just wondering i just started my period when i was 17 right about to turn 18. and i just skipped my growth spurt. meaning as i did not get one. well i am on yaz birth control i was just wondering me being on yaz will it stop my growth spurt possibly stoping me from never even having one. (link)
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No, there's no reason that birth control would inhibit your growth.
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does sex lastt? (link)
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It depends completely on the man. Some men have the stamina to go for hours, and some last only a few minutes. There's really no normal longevity.
If you find your partner doesn't last as long as you'd like, condoms can help to desensitize the penis, which will help him last longer.
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if a guy cums in you while your in water can you still get pregnant.. i dont think so? but im just checking to make sure because my boyfriend nutted in me the other day and we werein water.. (link)
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..Yes, you can still get pregnant. The chances are slightly decreased but it is still very possible that you will become pregnant if you fail to use protection. REGARDLESS of where you are or what the circumstances may be.
Frankly, I'm getting really sick of questions like this, when it's after the fact and you've already put yourself at risk. Before you become sexually active, EDUCATE YOURSELF. The reason teenage pregnancy is so rampant is because so many teenagers choose to remain ignorant. Read books, ask your doctor questions, talk to friends and if possible, even discuss it with your parents. If you don't have the maturity and the knowledge to protect yourself, you shouldn't be having sex.
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well...when me and my bf are fooling around he doesnt seem aroused.most of my friends has bfs that are aroused when they fool around.i was just wondering what could turn him on from our perspective.i am willing to try new things.
fyi-yes we have done it & yes we used protection
15/f (link)
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To the person who suggested viagra: that is absurd. She's fifteen years old, and I would assume her boyfriend is young as well. He would not legally be able to obtain viagra and even if he is of age to do so, that is a simplistic solution to what may be a complicated situation. I suggest you put far more thought into your answers in the future.
But anyhow, the best advice I can give is to talk to your partner. Sitting down and discussing it rationally always has it's virtues, but if you're a little embarassed, try asking during foreplay. It can be very seductive to simply ask what he wants done to him, maintaining eye contact and pressing yourself against him all the while. :P
The other thing is, some men take longer to become aroused than others do. This can be due to nervousness, stress, physical factors, or simply a difference in the way they operate. Don't expect there to be any 'normal' way for a man to preform sexually, and just enjoy and accept the way he does. The more loving and understanding you are, the more comfortable he will be around you. And being comfortable may in and of itself improve the issue. :) Always praise and compliment him on what he does well, and make sure to convey that you are genuinely enjoying yourself. The better he feels about himself, the more into it he will be.
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