khadiya's advice column

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Q: i already asked a question saying that my hair was straight and i wanted to know how to make it wavy.

this is one way someone sent me:
mix warm water and salt together and spray it in your hair when its damp

does it work? or is it bad for your hair?

Im gonna have to say no to this. I have never heard this and I live around saltwater, it makes yous scalp burn a little!!
I mean i know there is other stuff in the water but i wouldnt even take my chances!!

Q: 18/F
Well, telling the whole story could potentially take a while, so I'll do my best to summarize. There's this guy--let's call him Bob--and he and I have been really good friends basically since we met. I always kind of had a crush on him, but he always had a girlfriend. Then his gf turned out to be a lying bitch, and they broke up, and wonder of wonders, he asked me out. Of course, I said yes. We dated for five months total, and we had a really great relationship. We never really argued, we got along great, I loved him more than anything. He was even talking about us potentially getting married one day.

Well, he had this really close female friend--we'll call her Mary. After we'd been dating for about three months, he realized he had feelings for her, and broke up with me. It only lasted for about two days and then he came back to me, saying he'd made a huge mistake, didn't want to lose me, etc. I took him back, and he promised me it wasn't going to happen again.

Of course, it did. He broke up with me, and he's been going out with Mary ever since. Now, I don't know what to do. He's my best friend, and I don't want to change that. But I still can't help but have feelings for him. I guess you could say he was my "first love," and I'm having issues getting over the whole thing. I still get jealous just about every time I see Mary, or anyone mentions her, or anything. It's been months, and I know I should be over it by now--and it doesn't hurt as bad as it used to, but I just can't seem to stop being bothered entirely.

What should I do? Any advice would be vastly appreciated. Thanks. =)

You should try to occupy your mind with other things.
You are going to have to face the fact that he is with her and move on.
Start dating...thats a good way to start the process of getting over him.

Q: This question is for those 18+... Sorry, but if you've never been in post-secondary, you can't really understand fully the situation I'm in.

I'm in my second year of university, and things have been going well so far. I had to redo my first year because last time didn't go so well, but I've changed programs, and my grades improved a lot... last term I had a 90% average!

The problem is that this term I'm having a lot of problems. My grades are slipping a lot. All of a sudden my classes seem harder. I'm losing interest. I keep getting sick, and I've been really stressed out with all of the catching up that I have to do.

This weekend, my math prof called my parents' house to talk to me and make sure I was okay (I don't live there anymore) and he ended up talking to my parents. Now they think I've just been staying at home and being lazy, and that I'm going to fail again.

I'm starting to feel really hopeless about things, and I really don't see a point to it anymore. Today I talked to my boyfriend about ending my life if things don't work out with school, and he ended up in tears.

I've been diagnosed with depression and seasonal affective disorder in the past, with possible bi-polar disorder. I'm not medicated, because I was on anti-depressants, but hated the way they made me emotionally flatline.

Any words of inspiration, or advice that can help? I'm starting to slip, and I don't want to go too deep.

Best thing for you to do is get back on the medicine but tell them you want to try a different one.
Your parents, have you talked to them and told them what was going on?
You ending your life wont solve anything. Show every one you can do it.
Dont be scared to ask for help or get help online.

Q: in april i am going to florida and i want to look a lot skinnier. im not fat but im not very skinny. i have a membership to a gym that i usually go to but im gunna try going 5 times a week and im also on a diet. im also trying to get abs by april but im not sure if thats possible. what do i have to do to make me look a lot skinnier and possible get abs by the end of april? also what are some excersies that you would remomend?

thank you so much

Crunches! Crunches! Crunches!! Oh and lets not forget sit ups. That works your abs.

Q: Why would someone decide to go to a technical college instead of a community college or university?

A tech college teaches you technical skills. like

Aeronautical Engineering Technology
Agribusiness Management Technology
Applied Technology
Architectural and Building Engineering Technology
Architectural Engineering Technology
Automotive Technology
Business Technology and Management
Civil and Environmental Engineering
Computer Engineering Technology
Construction Practice and Management
Dairy Farm Management Technology
Dental Hygiene
Diesel Power Technology

stuff like this. Yea you might beable to learn this in a community college or university but these schools focus more on it.

Q: ok here is the deal. my mom talks on the phone all the time to this guy from her job. she even goes to his house sometimes. every since she met this guy she has been acting differently. she dresses different, talks different and just acts different!!! one day she even bought a porn movie ( something that she has never done before). she is married to my step father who i hate but that doesnt matter because cheating is cheating. so i need help. is this really cheating and if it is what should i do? also she is 42 and has a total of 4 kids. two of them belong to my step father.

You should keep your mouth shut. Its not your business.

I know that sounds rude but he has to find out on his own if she really is cheating. Hanging out with this guy isnt consider cheating, unless you are sneaking around doing it. Like your stepfather doesnt know about this man, but obviously he does if you know.

If its bothering you that much confront your mom. Straight out ask her about it. And when you put her the spot she might feel bad and stop.

Q: My ex boyfriend from seventh grade is i think still mad at me. we broke up really badly because someone got on my screen name and was telling him stuff for months. he thinks i was lying to him the whole time. its been 3 years now i hate to say it but everytime i see him in class i just feel all these feelings rush back. we didn't do anything like sex. but i don't think he likes me... he doesn't i.m. me or anything. but i think he's been pranking me lately. what should i do?

Take the first step and talk to him. even if you just say what you been up to? And if he doesnt respond, or responds in a negative way then you will know if he likes you even if just a friend.

Q: thanks, but do you know what to do when this message comes up? i keep getting this and clicking close or ignore doesn't change anything.

http://img88.imageshack.us/img88/7044/eughfp3.png

im not absolutely sure what to do, but try uninstalling and installing it again.

Q:

I don't want to have to goto the doctor or tell my mom, because she`ll think I`m just complaining and we don't have the money to goto the doctor, but every now and then for the past week and a half, i've had a sharp pain, like stabbing needles, about an inch or two below my left breast. And when i start to get that pain, randomly, it hurts to breath in and it lasts for a few minutes. Can anyone tell me why or what's going on? Please.

i dont know... Do you smoke? Be around smoke? Anything like that? bronchitis maybe?? who knows!

Q: Ok i was cleaning my room and I moved all my furniture and my TV was unplugged for more then a hour so it reset the memory and stuff.. well usually when that happens when i plug it in and turn it on it resets and loads all my channels again. Well this time It loaded but I can't change the channel from 2. Its not like all the other channels are staticky it looks like it changes the channel but its still on 2.
How do i fix it without getting a new Tv???

You should look upi your type of tv on google and ask the site what to do. We are maintenence(sp) ppl you know.

Q: she wrote about me in tunnels saying alll this mean stufff through the whole tunnel and she got everybody mad at me and she made me get in trouble talked about me im sooo mad now what should i do i cant just keep on telling on her and ignoring it can you help me

I think that deep down she is jealous. When you find out stuff she did, bring it up before she can, so it will look like it doesnt matter to you. When someone says something laugh it off. and if she ever confront you, point out her flaws. No one is perfect.

Q: is your penis size in your genes like girls are with there boobs. like if your family has a history of "big" penis's, will it be hereditary?

I dont exactly think so. that might be a part of it but circumsizing at birth is a part of it too!

Q: okay so im very worried. a couple of days ago my boyfriend and i were very "active." despite the fact that i don't know if im still a virgin or not im worried about some light spotting i just had today. this is what happened: a couple of nights ago my boyfriend stuck his penis half-way through, and i felt pain and everything. anyway i read that pre-cum can still get a girl pregnant. this is what im really worried about because we didn't use a condom! omg im so scared! what is the light spotting? am i still a virgin? what do i do?

The light spotting my be from the sex. From your skin stretching a little. can say if you are still a virgin. All i can tell you is buy a test and take it. Sneak it in and out the house. Make sure you just buy the kind that you pee on the stick and thats it. It easier to deal with.

Q: my friend has a tshirt from a&f that says 'always in the drivers seat' I know that it's a sex innuendo but what does it mean?

It means that your always in control. You control what is going on while having sex. What you say goes.

Q: Do you need to take physics in high school (with lab) otherwise id take it in the summer without lab just to learn some basic physics?? is there even a point i have enough science credits

also do i need to take advanced math things?

im a junior

the normal right now would be adv. algebra II and accerlated students are taking ap calc bc or ab or precalcus acc.

if i am taking precalculus honors is that bad or regular precalc bad

and if i take calc hns instead of ap math is that bad?

wow. depends on the school.
but im sure you dont have to take physics.
Everything you are doing is advanced so no matter what you do, your choice wont be a bad one. BUT if you are taking precal, go ahead and to cal. Here is a good idea--talk to your school consulor this is what they are here for.

Q: if i pluck my moustache, would it grow back longer, or darker?

i cant wax it.

and no bleaching.

do u girls, pluck urs?

help.

i was always told if you remove it, it comes back stronger. Meaning yes. its gonna be thicker and longer. Dont know about the darker.

NO i never plucked mines because i didnt really have this problem. sorry!!!!

Q: I keep crying cause of this and it's making feel so stupid. My father has always yelled/cussed at everyone about the stupidest things, which already upset me. But now, my mom is starting to start yelling at me about the dumbest things. I cried for about two hours cause of it the other day. Do I even have a reason to be crying? My mom used to be the only person I could talk to whenever my Dad upset me by yelling at me, but now I can't even talk to HER about it cause she just does the same thing. Is there something I can do to either take my mind off of it or get them to stop or SOMETHING?

My dad does the same thing, but what you have to understand is just because its stupid to you, doesnt mean its stupid to them. You are probably young and they think they are doing what is best. just try to ignore it.
When he starts to yell, sing a song in your head and jus say yes sir no sir or whatever. Act like your listening but focus on something else.

AND its good that you cry it out and dont keep it bottled up inside.

Q: OK,There is this guy, and he is dating my Ex-best friend.Ever since they have been dating, he has been calling me, and i have called him.And i do lke him, and i flirt with him, but i dont do it intentionaly,because i know not to hurt other gurls involving their hearts, but he flirts back!He tells me everything i tell him and i understand him, and he always has advice for me, so i guess we are "best friends".But he knows i like him.Hes always talking about how he wants to came over, and how he want me to make him cookies(i no random)and between me and his gf there is always drama.So the other day we had been talking and i had to get off the phone.5 minutes later my friend called me and said you need to talk t him he called me and told me he was upset, but not about what.So i call him and ask if he alright, he say sure, i say r you just tired of the drama?he say yeah i guess, so we talk, and i say i g2g because i have to take a shower, and go to bed.He says please dont hang up i said why, he said i wanna tlk to you.So i say i have to go hes like whatever, and he sunded depressed,then we hung up.Then he called my friend, and she was like are you gunna be ok?He said yeah as soon as i see katlyn,(which is me)She said oh.Then the next day he went to a game with me,and somehoow his gf showed up.then i walked away from him,and went and sat alone, i cried and cried because i felt stupid for letting myself like him,last night i told his friend to tell him i couldnt talk to him anymore, or see him as long as he was wit her(i tld him not tell em that part)And that ill always care for him.And at this point im laying in my bed Crying my eyes out.Then kevin(the guy) says im stupid for being mad.So i said well if im that stupid, i guess u wont have a problem letting me go.Then i hung up, and he has called me 2 times since yestrday(when this happened)but i refuse to talk to him.And i hate myself for it, but i now its what i had to do.I dont now if you can giv me advice on this or not, but i feel better now being able to tell some one.Oh and im only 13, hes 14, but im almost 14, and he amost15.(Thought you would like to know)

This is very long and drawn out.
all i can say is if he likes you and you like him then you should tell him he need to make a choice and stop leading this other girl on if he doesnt like her anymore.

Q: ok i'm in 8th grade.. and i dont smoke,drink or do any drugs whatsoever. so me and my friends are talking about when people in my school start drinking which is 8th and up. they said that they wouldnt mind starting now or in 9th.

anyway i was with one of my friends and she said she would do it and everyone else does. she says its not wrong and its not right, just another form of partying. personally i dont feel like i would drink at a young age, and i dont want to give in to peer pressure. i feel pressured to start soon,what should i do?? help is appreciated.

Just dont do it. As simple as that. Tell them that you prefer to wait. Drinking is not all that. trust me. Its worth the wait.

Q: alright, so ive had my period for half a year now and 2 months ago i tried putting a tampon in. it went in, but now i cant do it anymore. it hurts alot, and i guess its by popping my cherry.

are there any ways or tips for putting a tampon in?
thanks, your help is appreciated.

Im told you are supposed to squat a little while doing it. And i dont mean sitting on the toilet. Try reading the tampon instructions on the paper.

bio

Its A brand new year!! And I havent really been giving advice lately so now IM BACK!! If you have something to ask dont hesitate to ask. DONT BE SHY!! I've been there! Or I know someone who has!

I am a black albino female whose been through alot!!! I have a lot advice to give. Im a very knowledgeable person, and i look at things from many different views. Im very blunt, so if you dont want to hear it straight dont ask me!! any thing else you wanna know get at me!

LET ME REINTRODUCE MYSELF REAL FAST, REAL QUICK!
iM A BLUNT PERSON, IF YOU ASK A GROWN UP QUESTION, IMA GIVE A GROWN UP ANSWER. RECENTLY A GIRL ASKED HOW TO GIVE A BLOWJOB AND I WAS VERY BLUNT AND UPFRONT WITH HER. I GOT SHUNNED FOR MY ACTIONS SO, BASICALLY. IM GOING TO TRY TO AVOID ANSWERING QUESTIONS LIKE THIS. BECAUSE ALL THOUGH THESE KIDS ASKING THESE QUESTIONS ARE YOUNG, THEY OBVIOUSLY BEEN DOING SOMETHING THEY AINT GOT NO BUSINESS DOING BECAUSE THE WOULDNT BE ASKING THOSE TYPES OF QUESTIONS.