Because... they are? I don't know, I'm not a man. But here's an even more important question: why do you care? I mean really, you don't need a man. You're a tough and self-sufficient, right? So let them be jerks, you're too good to sacrifice and settle for something that's not worthy of you! Plus, a lot of women find that once they decide that, they suddenly aren't surrounded by jerks anymore. There are a few shy, nice, guys in almost everyone's life who just blend into the background why we're paying attention to the ones who work to get noticed (work meaning they act like jerks, comprende?). So quit hanging around jerky guys! They won't change, they're not worth it, quit thinking they might be!

If part of you still wants to be single all summer (and let's face it, we all like being single in the summer, it rules!) I'd stick with that. Stay friends with him, but don't be in a hurry to make him your boyfriend, I think you'd have more fun without that. And he'll find you a lot more irresistable when he knows you're independent. Be tough and don't give in, okay? It is not time for you to have a boyfriend, no matter how your emotions are playing with you.

I don't know. It happens and it's sad, but sometimes all you can do is be happy you escaped the intellectual void these poor women are trapped in. Then, if you want, try to show them the way! Leave books and magazines laying around, maybe they'll just take the bait. When they yell at you for not wearing dresses, ask if they honestly think dresses are comfortable and practical. They can't say yes! Fish out aspects of their lives they aren't happy with and use them as examples of how your life will be better because you are a feminist. Stand your ground! It's hard to change people, sometimes impossible, but if you serves as a positive example they'll love you for it.

Get a puppy.

I'm trying to cut back, actually. They're dumb! But I have written a tutorial for people like you, and you can find it here: http://spacefem.com/tutorials.

I wouldn't worry too much about it just now. You're two years away from being 18 and two years is a long time... I'm 22 and pretty stable but even I won't say for sure where I'll be two years from now. A lot can change.

Also, don't pick a college based on who lives by it, you'll regret it forever. I know it feels like this is the person you're supposed to be with forever, but after your first year of college you'll be a totally different person. It happens to almost everybody, and there's really no way to predict what you'll like. Pick a college that offers the curriculum you're looking for. If it's by her, then great, if not, you'll both have to deal... this is your life you're talking about, and education is not something to take lightly.

I think you should examine your reasons for hating her. If you're going to send her away there's no polite way to do it, so you might as well figure out a way to do it in a way that she'll benefit from. And who knows, maybe she'll change? Just turn around and say, "You know what? We don't like you. You talk about yourself all the time or you smell or you're loud or you're desperate for friends or you demand attention in painfully annoying ways." There has to be a reason, yes?

It's always best to be honest. I'm not sure she'll leave you alone, but there's really not a great way to accomplish this so look at her as more of a project. Make her into the friend you'd like to have. If she gets sick of that, then she'll start leaving you alone quickly.

At 15, your Mom will tend to think what she will about your status, probably whatever she wants to believe. I'd ignore her. Are you old enough to decide? Maybe. I know people who are 30 and still don't know which gender they prefer, it's really a totally different thing for everyone. Just let your Mom live in her world of denial, it'll make your life easier and she'll sleep better at night, even if she still thinks you're 8.

Well, you've got to stop somehow! Women who can't leave the house without makeup are... uhg. depressing.

Stop wearing one product at a time. Start with foundation, seriously, it'll be really hard but it's not like heroine withdrawl here, you'll survive. Then stop wearing blush. If you have to wear less eyeliner or whatever to make this work, then more power to it. Finally you'll be down to nothing but lipstick, and soon not even that... trust me, you'll make it!

I seriously wonder the same thing, I remember thinking in high school that girls' IQs had actually dropped since the sixth grade or whatever because they were so concerned with petty dumb boy crap. Being friends with guys is really underrated, you know? I get e-mails from girls and I think they've never even thought to just be friends with a guy, as soon as he looks at one of them they're judging his boyfriend potential. I think most people sort of outgrow that in college, but until then normal thinking females like you and me just have to sort of look and wonder.

No. Hell no! What is it with society that we tell all these young women (at 23 you're not exactly getting up there in the years, you know?) that they won't fit in without a man? That's such bullshit. If I were you I'd be totally happy just being friends with guys. Be your tough independent self and quit letting society tell you what the next step in your life should be.

I don't think your friend should worry too much, most guys (well, most guys who aren't worthless) won't be turned off by a girl with a geeky side at all. It's downright cool, yes? I'm kind of curious about why she's so insecure about it, myself. Sounds like she needs to change her perception of geeks... geeks are smart, and smart gets you far in this world. If you can't believe that, you should change.

I'd tell her to show him her geeky side with actions, not words. Sometimes people have a hard time believing words because so many people want to act geeky but they aren't. What does she do? Take apart computers in her spare time? Fix cars? Read biology textbooks? When he asks what she did last weekend she should be honest and not hide it. I don't think he'll take it as hard as she anticipates.

If she really can't be herself then this relationship isn't worth anything in the first place and you should try to split them up.

It's not as bad as it sounds. Millions of people survive grades 7-12 and live to tell about it, sometimes even with fond memories. Make sure your friends are watching out and being smart, that's one big key to things. A lot of people surround themselves with selfish drama queens because they're pretty, and that's a dumb way to choose your friends. Listen to your logical side. If things don't make sense, seperate yourself from them, think of the future and what matters and what doesn't. And don't worry too much about what people think, kids that are your age can sometimes pick on really stupid stuff that doesn't matter, you can be above all that. Just be tough and independent.

When it comes down to it, the same things matter at age 13 that will matter forever in life. Be nice to people. Don't gossip too much. Take care of yourself and stay healthy. Embrace education, it's always important. The only difference is that when you're an adult, you feel like more people are with you in your goal to do these things, and when you're in middle school you feel like no one is... not your friends or your parents or anybody. That's how we learn to be tough. You'll survive, just the fact that you're scared means you're smarter than a lot of other people.

There's no magic way to just "deal" with loss, it takes time and you can't avoid it. Don't try to push it out of your head, let yourself think of her whenever you feel like it.

I have no idea. I'd never make a site that would send five cookies. I don't think I would, anyway.

You can't really just pick one, you have to just start going to all of them. Don't stop until you find the right one. I just looked in the phone book and found churches close to where I lived and called them to ask about service times. When I attended a service, I got to see what programs they offered for what groups (if you're a youth and there's no youth group, it's probably the wrong church), how many people attended, if the people even talked to me, core beliefs all that stuff. You have to go with what feels right, and that'll probably involve a few months of trial and error.

Cookies are the best way to track a user across pages, and most users don't even notice them. When a user visits this page, for instance, I try to set a cookie with a unique session ID, so if they log in they won't have to log in again on every page. If they don't accept cookies I have to add the session ID to the end of every URL, making for some pretty messy URLs.

He can't refuse to break up, that's like refusing to be hit by a car. It happens no matter how hard you stand against it. If I were you I'd just be like, "We're DONE" and then stop all relationship-like behavior afterwards. Don't talk to him for like a week. Maybe don't even offer to be friends with him, just be like, "Sorry, even that's too much, I'm doing my own thing now." Lock your doors and windows, spend the afternoon at the really far away shopping mall... eventually he'll have to get the hint. Or a restraining order. Let's hope for hint.

There's nothing more shocking than finding out that a seemingly secure, happy, eligible young man is in fact nothing more than a computer geek who dressed up that night. Let me start this answer by saying that it's not bad to date a computer geek, some of them can be tolerable and even charming, but you have to be very careful so you don't get sucked in yourself. Many glamourous social butterflies have been drawn to geek culture for the usual reasons (money, men, bandwidth) and before they can say "GPL" they're reduced to skinny pale system administrators who go around saying the number 42 is the meaning of life and they'd take you out if only they had their own Wookie.

But first, your question, is your boyfriend a computer nerd? This should be very easy, I'd start by throwing out a few mundane statements and seeing how he responds, things like "So, I was reading slashdot the other day..." (do his eyes light up as he asks you what you thought of the new Linux software this week? then he's a geek.) or "I thought Unix was a pastry" (does he turn red and go into a thirty minute OS lecture? then he's a geek.) or my personal favorite, "Want to go tanning sometime?" (does he implode? then he's a geek.) In conclusion, the signs of geekdom are easy to spot, it's just dealing with the condition once you know it exists that's a problem. You can be smart and beautiful at the same time, it's just that after three weeks with one of these guys you might not care.

First, you should call her. One thing I've found with online friends is that over the phone, they become much more real, and you learn a million times more about them. They become more than the person on the other side of the computer when you hear their voice and have a real life conversation. Going straight from online chat to dinner and a movie sounds insane.

In addition, what were you expecting from her? If you just wanted to be friends, you should make that clear. If you expected her to meet you, shake your hand, then throw her arms around you and be your girlfriend for the next six months, then you were way overthinking the whole deal. If she's met someone and doesn't have time to meet you, then that's probably what she's afraid of. Either rethink your expectations or do a better job of communicating the fact that meeting you doesn't have to mean anything gigantic. I know that would scare me off.

I've been in the advice column over five years now so I think I've pretty much heard it all... the love, the hate, the random insanity. I don't take it too seriously, so I'm not always giving the best advice, but my column is fun to read!

I am a 23 year old electrical engineer, a feminist, a Christian. I don't know everything but I can sure pretend to.

Disclaimer: Now that I'm on advicenators I'm getting even more questions every day. It's fast and easy for me to answer them, yes, so at least I'm answering something now, but if your question contains the words "there's this guy that I like..." chances are I won't get around to it. I'm only answering interesting questions that I haven't answered before. Register at the site and ask everyone for advice if you must have an answer, because if people read my column and boring love advice was all they found, they'd never come back.

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