I'm a woman in Texas. I'm married and have a school-aged child. I have a medical background. I'm quite liberal, socially. I love helping people with medical, parenting, and social questions. Don't ask me about tech stuff or finances, because I need advice on those things myself!
Gender: Female Location: Texas Age: 34 Member Since: December 17, 2006 Answers: 795 Last Update: September 2, 2007 Visitors: 50068
Main Categories: Health General Sex Questions Parenting View All
Favorite Columnists Xenolan
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Ok I've been on the Depo shot for a while now and just recently my boyfriend came in me. So what's the chance that I could get pregnant . (link)
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According to literature, you're 97-99.7% protected as long as you have always received the injection on time.
Of course, though, it does not protect against sexually-transmitted diseases.
Sabine
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what does it mean for something to be more than the sum of its parts how is taht poisble (link)
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Well, take for exmple the human body. There are the legs, the arms, the torso, the neck, the head, and all of the internal organs. Separately, those things don't do extraordinary work. The two legs don't walk, etc. But when they are all interconnected with the brain, the human as a whole is more than the sum or the parts. We have personalities, senses of humor, etc. in addition to being moving beings with digestive systems, etc. We are more than the sum of our parts.
Sabine
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The tips of my vaginal lips are turning brown, and for a couple weeks now I have been unable to make myself wet with direct stimulation. I've never had sex before, but I have used things to simulate it. I'm worried that something is wrong with me and I can't quite tell. A while ago I decided it would be a good idea to stick a brush handle up there and it had ridges. Unfortunately it hurt a lot (duh) and ever sense I have either had strange colored secretion, or no secretion at all. I'm not even sure if this is related, but my period comes at weird intervals now. I really hope you can help me out. (link)
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First, don't worry. A lot of people have stuck weirder things in their vaginas than hairbrush handles. Some people have stuck bananas and cucumbers up there.
The change in color could be normal and due to hormone fluctuations, which correlate with your irregular periods. It could possibly be due to infection, though I doubt it. I don't know how old you are or what your menstrual history is, so I'm not sure, but since you said you're a virgin, I would tend to think you're in your teens.
I would suggest that you see a doctor, just to make sure there's nothing wrong. If you have to justify it to an adult, I'd say you should tell them you're having weird discharge and just want to speak with the doctor. If you can't see a doctor, then I just wouldn't worry TOO much about it unless you start getting spotty bleeding and/or abdominal pain or start running a fever or getting smelly discharge.
Then I would suggest that you get a "massager" vibrator. There are the kind that are really for sore muscles on your back or whatever. They nicely stiumlate the clitoris, which is where most women prefer to be stimulated. Then there are the vibrator-specific kind that go inside. They give a feeling of 'fullness' that a clitoral vibrator can't. They are more sanitary because they can be washed. Just be discrete, dear.
Good luck.
Sabine
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My cat accidentally spilled chocolate milk on some parts of my mattress. Using carpet stain remover, I got most of it out, but now it's like orange or a tan look. Is there anything I can try to get it back to white again (or maybe at least to off-white). Don't tell me it's permanent just yet because I would like to try some suggestions. Also, it's new and my parents would kill me if they found out. PLEASE HELP!!!
thanks! (link)
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I'd be careful about following the previous advice. If bleach water soaks into your mattress, your parents will likely smell it, first of all. And if you don't get it completely dry, it could soak through and bleach your sheets when you lie down. Do your parents have a carpet shampooer/cleaner? Some of those have furniture attachments. That's the best idea I can give you. Bad kitty. ;(
Sabine
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Ok so you know the comarcial for T-Mobile's "my fav five" where the guy has the ringtone that goes "secret lovers, thats who we are"? Does anyone know who wrote that song. AND please don't say go to google because i already tried. Thanks alot! (link)
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If you already tried Google, then you should have found this:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Secret_Lovers
It's by Atlantic Starr and the Wikipedia article mentions the T-Mobile commercial.
:) Sabine
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a few days ago i got a stain on my jeans from my period. what i did was i put tide to go on it, scrubbed it with soap and water and rinsed it out. i put it in the laundry room for my mom to wash it and she did. the thing is, its still there! i cant wear them anymore and they were one of my better jeans. is there anything i can do to get it out or are they no longer wearable? (link)
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There are some cleaners you can try. I think the one I know is called "Mary Ellen's For Those Days." It wouldn't hurt to try that and maybe oxyclean. I know that when I worked in a hospital, we always tried to use plain old hydrogen peroxide and cold water to remove blood stains. It usually works. If the clothes have gone through the dryer, though, you're going to have a hard time getting the stain out no matter what.
Good luck.
Sabine
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how can you figure out your
body mass index
and how much of your body is made out of fat
im 5'5
female
15 yrs old
and i weight 100 lbs
thankx (link)
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Technically, the advisor below is right. 16.6 is normal BMI for your age. However, lose 2 pounds and you're in the bottom 5th percentile and technically underweight. You are on the cusp of underweight. There are two ways to tell body fat percentage. (Don't believe the old fat calipers - we all store fat differently and they're not reliable.) The first is weighing under water. The second is through use of a special instrument that sends a mild electrical current through your body. Muscle gives more resistance to current. (It doesn't hurt). Some health clubs will have these tools.
Here's the BMI calculator. Don't use an adult one.
http://pediatrics.about.com/cs/growthcharts2/l/bl_ibw_calc.htm?
gender=NaN&age=NaN&months=NaN&feet=NaN&inches=NaN&inches_
percent=NaN£s_100=NaN£s_10=NaN£s=NaN£s_percent
=NaN&page=1
(Sorry, you'll have to past the link back together because if I leave it long, it'll distort the text on my column.)
Good luck finding the answers to these questions.
Sabine
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I am looking for a fair hourly rate to pay a babysitter. Can anyone help? (link)
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Oh. I've been through this. The rate varies by geographic region and population, based upon the number of opportunities available to the teens. The first thing I did to find out was I spoke with other moms in my MOMS club and church playgroup. Then I spoke with teens in the church as well. Turns out that in Houston area, you're expected to pay $5 per hour, plus provide any meals (pizza, fast food, etc.) and transportation. If the sitter has his/her own transportation, then it's more. If you're going out all day, for example, and the sitter has to deal with naps, diaper changes, and feeding the child, then it's likely more as well. If you expect the sitter to clean up after your child, then it's more. The teens here tend to do the $5+/hour rate no matter how many children they're watching up to 4 or so. However, your house will be a mess proportionate to the number of children being watched. I would also expect to pay more for sitters who have undergone training, such as CPR certified sitters and those who went through the YMCA's babysitting certification course.
I don't know whether this helps, but several churches nearby us have the Parents' Night Out option. So does the YMCA and a few inflatable Bounce places.
Sabine
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so apparently some guy at the GNC told my boyfriend that you absolutely cannot lose muscle..that you can only have deflated muscle and lose mass to the muscle
i think that is bullshit but what do you think? (link)
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That guy is playing a game of semantics - manipulating words. You cannot lose A muscle except by having it taken out. However, your muscles themselves can lose bulk or cell populations and become smaller and weaker. Muscles are bundles of fibers and you can add or lose fibers through combinations of diet and exercise and disease processes.
Of course, we're talking skeletal muscle here, not smooth muscle or cardiac muscle, which you can't intentionally bulk up.
Sabine
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So my History teacher gave me a 0/200 becuase my neightbor copied off of my paper. She is one of my best friends, and I completely understand why the teacher gave us both 0s. What I don't get is that I let her copy because she was absent. We had to take notes on a video and she missed the video so I let her copy my notes. When we turned them in we both got complete 0s. I'm well aware that copying is wrong, and me being the one she copied from understands because if I did all the work while all she did was copy, I wouldn't ever let her copy. But the fact of the matter is that she was absent and I wanted to let her have the notes. (She's the teacher that doesn't allow make up ANYTHING.) I am going to talk to this teacher about maybe changing the grade, or asking for some extra credit to make up the score, but do you have advice on how to talk to her about this? (link)
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You should have a right to have your side of the story heard. I would suggest that you talk with a counselor and/or get both your and your friend's parents involved. You seem quite mature and ready to admit your mistakes, so I know you won't whine or make excuses. Just tell your side.
Sabine
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i think there's something wrong. its as if i have forgotten how to cry. nothing phases me anymore. i dont show any emotion just laugh at everything at school. at home all i want to be is alone. i dont eat unless im totally alone and i dont watch tv unless alone. after school i come home and 'hide out' as my mother calls it in my room. i think about the way ive made so many mistakes and how i wanna roll back time and how i deserve so much punishment and how i should be perfect and need to lose weight. anorexia right now. i need help just tell me whats wrong or what i can do u think.? inside im so dark and want to nearly kill myself sometimes but the outside of me shows nothing. i cannot CRY! (link)
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You likely had an imbalance in the seratonin levels in your brain commonly known as 'depression.' You should ask for medical help, since it is causing you so much misery and you are anorexic. Things that can help are talk/behvior modification therapy, selective seratonin reuptake inhibitors (antidepressants), diet, and exercise. See a doctor.
Sabine
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i think i might have an eating disorder. but not the kind where u throw up or avoid eating. actually i think i might have i think its called a compulsive overeating disorder. but im not sure and i dont wanna tell anyone about it. all the time every single day i have to eat constantly and when i dont i feel really weird. and im not even hungry i just NEED to eat. and well i also eat really fast. when i eat with my family im the first to finish (dinner in about 5 minutes or less) and then i go find more food to eat, and then keep getting snacks and stuff like that ALL day. i eat breakfat, nutrition, snack, lunch, before getting home, right after i get home, and then dinner, sometimes a second dinner, and then snacks until i go to sleep. and when im sad ill stuff my face especially when my parents arent home....and i really dont know why i need to eat so much. im really skinny too. im 108.5 lbs---5'3. this is underweight and yet i always have digestion problems and i cant sleep and i think its all because of the food. i dont really even know. so if anyone knows anything as far as symptoms of any eating disorders or something else that might help, then pleaze tell me. thanx....SAM 14/f (link)
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Okay, the fact that you're able to eat this much and not gain weight, the fact that you feel weird when you're not eating, the fact that you can't sleep, and the fact that you have digestive problems all lead me to this conclusion: you need to see a doctor regarding a possibly hyperactive thyroid gland! If you ask your doctor to check that and there's nothing physically wrong, then you can think about emotional/psychological issues. First, though, rule out a physical cause.
Good luck and I'd love to hear what happens if you follow my advice.
Sabine
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well i had a hole in my heart when i was born, but it got fixed and im alright now. but smetimes when my breast hurt i worry if it is the heart or the breast. Well my question what kind feelings do girls get while there breast develope? or breast can hurt when girls get period? its so confusing. is there like different kind of pain?
Thanks! (link)
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I assume that you get regular echocardiograms to make sure that your heart is okay? At least you get regular exams with a stethoscope to make sure you have no murmur, right?
Pain in the breast area that's above your ribcage usually feels like aching or tenderness and it's normal for developing breasts. Pain behind your breastbone or slightly on the left is something you should speak with a physician about. It could be related to your septal repair or it could be heartburn, something else, or nothing at all.
Sabine
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What the hell is a tea cozy? and Whats a Rave? I heard my friend talking about that but I didn't understand what she meant? (link)
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It's a little quilted cover, like something made out of potholder material, which you put over your tea kettle in order to hold the heat in and keep your tea warm longer.
Sabine
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my girlfriend has to take birthcontrol pills to get preiod. she hasn't taken them in awhile.can she get pregnet with unprotected sex. (link)
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Yes. She can get pregnant off of the pills, even if she does not get her period. Usually fertile women have their periods, but not all the time. Please use a backup method.
Sabine
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I need to memorize a poem for school !
It has to be at least 10 lines and
published by an actually author. I was hoping to use one of the guy's peoms that Noah reads in The Notebook. However anything else will do.
Does anyone have any easy , school apporpriate poems that I would memorize? Rember they have to be by a real author. THANKS!! (link)
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Shakespeare's sonnets are good - 14 lines each.
Here's a link: http://www.shakespeares-sonnets.com
I like 130 in particular.
There is Dylan Thomas's "Do Not Go Gentle into that Good Night."
There is "Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening" by Robert Frost ('and miles to go before I sleep.')
There are an abundance of good poems and poets out there.
I don't know what is read in the notebook. Sorry.
Sabine
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im a virgin and i have been fingered 2 times and ate out 2 times will the doctor be able to see that? (link)
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No. A doctor can't see what your sexual experience has been. S/he can only see whether your hymen is intact. A lot of us break our hymens through non-sexual activities, such as horseback riding, injuries (falling on things), using tampons, or other things, mostly in our childhood. The presence or absence of a hymen does not indicate whether or not you are a virgin.
Sabine
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its like on the side of my under wear line. and im a female and sexually active. And what exactly is a oozing syphillus lesion. Because it looks like a bump with something in it. (link)
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Okay. Thank you for the info. Please see the edited answer.
Sabine
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My Dad was in an argument with my Mom like always today and he said, "YOU WONT LET ME TALK TO MY KIDS! YOU WONT LET ME HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH THEM! WELL IN 2009, I'M MOVING! THE BASE (like a military base) IS BEING SHUT DOWN AND MOVING TO ILLINOIS AND I AM MOVING THERE WHEN THAT HAPPENS! WE ARE NOT HAVING TWO HOUSES AND I AM NOT STAYING MARRIED TO YOU! I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU THINK I LOVE YOU! I HATE YOU, YOU ASSHOLE!" Yes, and lucky me...I got to listen to it like always. To make this clear, my mom has never done anything to offend him and only tries to help him. I learned that all of my conversations with him turn into him yelling at me for something, so I try to stay clear of him and not bother him...my mother has nothing to do with it. My mom asked me today if I would rather him stay here till I get out of High School. I told her yes, but I honestly don't. I mean, I want to stay in my neighborhood and all, but I can't take anymore of his yelling, screaming, and when he threatens my mom and stuff. I feel like half of this is my fault. Half of the time he is yelling and cussing at me and my family for all of these little things. I've cried myself to sleep plenty of times because of the things he's said to me. Am I wrong to not want to be around my father? (link)
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No. Why would you want to be around someone who's abusive and has an explosive temper? You can love him and still not want to be around him. Maybe you don't even love him. That's okay.
Be honest with your mom, though. She may be trying to keep you with your father thinking it is in YOUR best interests. Let her know that you love him, but you'd rather not live with him right now. I suggest, though, that you don't burn bridges. Let him know that he's still your father, you still love him, and when things are better (like he's ready to speak to you and your mom without being abusive) you'll be ready to listen.
Sabine
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i have no idea what cata. this should be in so i just put it here i know this is pretty sick but i have some thing on my lower area. At first i thought it was an in grown hair because there was a big bump under it. But its not what else could it be im scared? (link)
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Depends, dear. WHERE on your lower area? And, er, are you male or female? Are you sexually active? It could be anything from a swollen lymph node to an oozing syphillus lesion. Much as I'd like to help, I can't tell anything without more info.
MORE INFO GIVEN: its like on the side of my under wear line. and im a female and sexually active. And what exactly is a oozing syphillus lesion. Because it looks like a bump with something in it.
REVISED RESPONSE: Okay, is it in your underwear line near your labia (the 'lips') or near where your pubic bone is, in the front, or near where your leg joins at your hip?
An oozing syphillus lesion is a sore from syphillus. It's a venerial disease which causes rashes and sores that sometimes ooze pus and stuff. I hope you don't have any venerial diseases. If you could possibly have one, please see a doctor or go to Planned Parenthood.
No matter what the rest of the answers are, it's most likely an ordinary pimple. Otherwise, it could be a boil or something else like that. If it's a pimple, you can sometimes pop them. If it's a boil or something like that, you could try neosporin or something and warm, wet towel compress a couple of times a day. I'd keep it covered with a bandaid, if hair doesn't cause a problem with that.
If it's not red, hot, or otherwise bad, if it's in the area on your abdomen where your leg meets your crotch and the bump is easy to move and kind of longish, it's probably a lymph node. That should be watched for growth and you should see a doctor if it's not gone within a week or so.
I hope you find some relief!
Sabine
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