My Dad was in an argument with my Mom like always today and he said, "YOU WONT LET ME TALK TO MY KIDS! YOU WONT LET ME HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH THEM! WELL IN 2009, I'M MOVING! THE BASE (like a military base) IS BEING SHUT DOWN AND MOVING TO ILLINOIS AND I AM MOVING THERE WHEN THAT HAPPENS! WE ARE NOT HAVING TWO HOUSES AND I AM NOT STAYING MARRIED TO YOU! I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU THINK I LOVE YOU! I HATE YOU, YOU ASSHOLE!" Yes, and lucky me...I got to listen to it like always. To make this clear, my mom has never done anything to offend him and only tries to help him. I learned that all of my conversations with him turn into him yelling at me for something, so I try to stay clear of him and not bother him...my mother has nothing to do with it. My mom asked me today if I would rather him stay here till I get out of High School. I told her yes, but I honestly don't. I mean, I want to stay in my neighborhood and all, but I can't take anymore of his yelling, screaming, and when he threatens my mom and stuff. I feel like half of this is my fault. Half of the time he is yelling and cussing at me and my family for all of these little things. I've cried myself to sleep plenty of times because of the things he's said to me. Am I wrong to not want to be around my father?
bLue_in_tHe_faCe answered Sunday February 25 2007, 8:13 pm: No your not wrong. I don't blame you. Its not your fault either. I've heard it a thousand times that kids think it is there fault that parents fight or devorice, but its not. Go ahead and get away from your father if he acts like that. No one would want to be around a person who treats other people with such a bad attitude. The best to do would to be to help out your mom and other family members (if have any else) threw this hard time. Hope this helped [ bLue_in_tHe_faCe's advice column | Ask bLue_in_tHe_faCe A Question ]
Sabine answered Sunday February 25 2007, 8:12 pm: No. Why would you want to be around someone who's abusive and has an explosive temper? You can love him and still not want to be around him. Maybe you don't even love him. That's okay.
Be honest with your mom, though. She may be trying to keep you with your father thinking it is in YOUR best interests. Let her know that you love him, but you'd rather not live with him right now. I suggest, though, that you don't burn bridges. Let him know that he's still your father, you still love him, and when things are better (like he's ready to speak to you and your mom without being abusive) you'll be ready to listen.
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