Member Since: August 7, 2012
Answers: 1038
Last Update: August 2, 2021
Visitors: 29833
|
| |
Hello, there. I am a freshman in high school. I am still quite young, but my religious beliefs have been bothering me lately. I have had severe anxiety my whole life; I'd always pray to God, hoping he would help my anxiety decrease, so I would be at ease. However, that has never happened. As time went on, I've lost my faith in God.
To be completely honest, I have not read a bible (It is severely confusing to me), nor been to church. I know very little about christianity, yet I label myself as one. Or I used to...
Anyway, I feel like there is always going to be a small part of me that will believe in God. But I don't know if it's because I'm scared not to (Due to my anxiety). I WANT to 100% believe in God, and I feel like I do, but I have my doubts. Sometimes I just feel like someone could've wrote the bible or something. I want to be fully convinced. I'm scared of the devil though and I'm scared he'll kill me in my sleep or something... (link)
| |
Many have been torn between believing and not believing down the ages. I think it was Pascale (but not sure...look it up maybe?) who said everyone would be wise to state "I belive in God". If there IS NOT a God and no eternal life or no soul then the statement has not lost you anything at all and was of no significance whatsoever. But if there IS a God then the statement has gained you EVERYTHING. A very human nature inspired 'Western Philosophy' take on spirtituality I reckon? Intellectually and logically faultless? I can't see any rational argument with it myself.
|
Female, 18.
I'm under the suspiscion that I might be suffering from depression - or something close to it. I have already been diagnosed about three years ago with hypothyroidsm, so perhaps this adds to the factor. I haven't been taking care of myself - more than usual - I procrastinate too much and then I have tiny breakdowns where I cry alone about how stupid and worthless I mean. Because I know in fact that I am the one doing things wrong, yet can't bring myself to fix things. I have extreme low self-esteem issues and I think I have many phobias that need taking care of - I can't stand being locked up, I hate large crowds because I feel uncomfortable, I fear loads of responsability, I have stage-fright even just to speak at times and I have a completely irrational fear of reptiles, amphibians and throwing up/vomit in general. I feel like I'm letting myself go and instead of pushing forward I'm being dragged back by my low spirits. I have been loathing going into Facebook simply because I see my friends being so happy and since I don't find anything happening to be happy, I get angry at them. Its horrible on my part. I'm a nice girl, but sometimes its hard to be so and I come to moments like these where I just don't want to do/be/think anything and just... dissappear. To magically have all my problems erased somehow... which only gets people angry at me or something and makes me feel worse. I just realized that my thoughts are being perhaps a bit toooo negative and I might actually need help here. (link)
| |
Thyroid conditions can certainly mirror many of the symptoms we associate with depression and acute anxiety. Feeling 'out of control' and that we are 'losing it' are very common. These are often what prompt unknowing sufferers to visit the doctor, where the condition is identified. Once under control via treatment and medication the symptoms are also controlled or eliminted. I suggest your first action is to get the thyroid conditon reviewed and go from there. It's one of those conditions that is purely physiological but many of the symptoms have strongy psychological/emotional effects. Hopefully this willl sort things out. Try to stay as calm as possible until you know, don't try to guess ahead and jump the gun (as you might say) and self-diagnose depression just yet. Personally I have known people actually relieved to find that it was a thyroid condition causing such turbulent sensations and feelings, having felt that they were in the grip of such a severe psychiatric 'breakdown' that they would need to spend the rest of their life in care. So I appreciate you might be experiencing some powerful feelings. Make an appointment soon and get things moving in the right direction.
|
|
I live in nyc and I was wondering if you thought it was ok to adopt a puppy if you live in a huge city like this? (link)
| |
Biggest city where I live (UK) is London. There are plenty of parks, big and small. Plenty of people living in London own happy and contented dogs. Wherever you live a pet dog is (or SHOULD BE) a significant commitment. How happy or contented the dog is will depend much more on this than location. Most dogs in regular homes in rural locations still live in a relatively confined environment, ie home. They are not free to roam the landscape day and night, and since they bond with their owners and appreciate THEIR home too, they probably wouldn't care to anyway. A city park for regular walks is really as much 'landscape' as any dog would know what to do with, I should think? Essentially a dog is a domestic animal, and not a wild animal. There's a big difference. The dog will easily become used to its level of domesticity. The exception may be a flat-dweller with no garden at all. It will be predominently 'indoors'. It will tend not to grow a heavier 'winter-coat' for example. And so on. One might have to carefully consider a breed. From a purely practical point of view a breed which grows large will be quite a physical presence within the confines of a building ALL the time. So it would probably be a good idea to limit your choice to smaller breeds. If you have a garden at all, and are happy to take him/her out to parks etc. too, your choice is much broader. As we've discussed, the dog will not really be aware of the size of it's garden compared to the gardens in other properties or neighbourhoods and locations. Crossing roads with traffic on the way to a park, for instance will also become a normal routine, not a scary prospect. And so on.
|
|
I am feeling somewhat depressed and down. I have been told that drinking a beer or two can help you feel better and more relaxed . Is this true? (link)
| |
Hi there. Sure, booze won't do a damn thing for diagnosed clinical depression or a significant psychiatric condition. Secondly, well we do face major real-world problems and the bottle isn't your friend here. You need real world solutions. Ok, getting hammered blots it out for a while, but when you sober-up it's all still there. This is a very bad path to start down. Soon it'll be your only way of coping with life, and in fact you're not coping at all. You're in a bad place indeed. Maybe you're not in either situation? Feeling glum and mopey and a bit low is another matter. Maybe the cards seem stacked against you lately? At work? Romance? Things in general just not going your way? In this case getting together with your mates and cracking open a few beers could be just what you need. Alcohol is good at breaking down barriers and inhibitions. Shooting the breeze, relaxing and sharing a few laughs with your buddies, and the beers might well see you talking freely about stuff you might not feel comfortable with stone-cold sober. Might get a few things off your chest? Might clear the air and you might well find the outlook seems much brighter too afterwards? Thought it would be fair to mention someting alcohol CAN do. Sitting alone and crawling into a bottle hoping to solve your problems is a big mistake, but that isn't the all and all of drinking. A merry time with good friends doesn't usually do your mood much harm though, eh? Be honest about what YOU hope to gain from a beer or two. If it's a jolly time to pick your spirits up...cheers...and open a tinny for me mate!
|
|
I'm a hairstylist. My boss has been doing hair for 20 years but opened her own salon in March. I've been working in this salon for a little over 5 weeks and I love everything about it but one thing. Her husband will go pick up their 6 and 8 year old kids from school and bring them to the salon. I love kids and I love them, but they DO NOT listen. They fight and whine andante riot me while I'm working on somebody. I think if it was me getting my hair done, I would want it done in a relaxing environment. I'm new to this, and I don't want to overstep my boundaries or hurt feelings but it's getting old quick. Help me!!! (link)
| |
I think you should approach it from the customer experience angle. That it tends to make them edgy and noticeably tense and compromises communication somewhat, which is very important between client and stylist, as she will know. Point out that you can keep it together and still do the job to an acceptable level. This should help depersonalise the issue and avoid a head-to-head confrontation. She willl presumably value her client-base and company reputation as all businesses essentially exist to make a profit in the final analysis. If she implies that it is your job to keep the kids in order then don't be afraid to tell her that you simply cannot do it. You are a stylist and never claimed to be an accomplished child-minder. Put it politely but firmly. I would say that hairstyling is a business where the total customer-experince of the whole salon visit is a very significant factor in securing returning trade in my opinion. And you feel this hard-to-quantify element might be at risk?
|
Please tell me how to get an abortion in my ninth month of pregnancy?
(link)
| |
I'm afraid this is too late to be safe, ethical or legal. If raising the child (which it is by month 9) is simply not possible you must look at adoption. Bear in mind no even semi-reputable agency would entertain the idea of termination at this stage and I would advise you not to seek anybody who will. Assuming there are no medical complications during labour and birth you will soon have a child. It may seem daunting for some reason(s) of your own but really you may well be surprised at your ability to cope and the things you are capable of when it's a case of 'having to'. Keep your mind open and be ready to accept and love the new arrival. It's something really special. He or she will be needing you and relying on you. My best wishes.
|
|
My whole life, I've had a terrible habit. I bite off the skin in my mouth; Kind of where my lips are, but on the inside of my mouth. I do this everyday and I want to stop it... I do it when I'm anxious, nervous, or just thinking. Whenever new skin grows, I peel it off with my teeth. My mouth eventually bleeds, but stops after awhile. This is a habit I just can't seem to break. Chewing gum works, but only for awhile. What can I do? (link)
| |
You're absolutely spot-on, nerves/anxiety is the trigger for this habit. Concentrating intently often causes people to grip their bottom lip between their front teeth too, if you notice. I'm afraid as we get older nerves, stress and anxiety tend to replace the largely carefree with occasional emotional outbursts (aka tantrums)of childhood. It's common to all of us at times. We need to find some acceptable and effective, and preferably non-harming way of 'managing' stress and anxiety. A way to handle it when it 'boils over' and keeping the levels as low as possible at all times. That's the long-term plan. Note that drinking too much alcohol, coffee and smoking cigarettes are not acceptable replacements. The odd coffee, an occasional drink to unwind...that's ok...cigarettes avoid at all costs, they're powerfully addictive and will wreck your general health over time even if you don't become afflicted with a specific smoking-related illness. Right' short term let's look at cracking the behaviour pattern. By the sound of it it's already a subconscious habit, meaning you don't consciously plan to chwe your mouth and you've done it before you realise you're doing it right? Here's a little ruse that might help bring it back up to a conscious habit. Slip an elastic band (a loose-fitting one, kind of like a bangle in fit so it drops easily onto where your hand begins) on your left wrist. When you encounter a stressful situation and start to feel the anxiety build-up, pull the band with the thumb and forefinger of your right hand and let it 'ping' sharply onto your left wrist. This is your alarm-call. Reminding you of what we have been talking about and calling out "Hey...don't start biting myself!!" And whenever you feel an involuntary, reflex first 'nip', ping that band again! I ain't suggesting you're going to have an elastic band on your wrist for the rest of your life mate. Start investigating some long-term stress-management techniques, on the internet maybe? Or a book on the subject, there are many good ones. It's just a way of getting that habit out of the subconscious where we can tackle it. And keep a rough memory of how many times you ping that band. Pinging it is a conscious act, and will provide true a measure of how often you're getting stressed. It might surprise you just how often! Good luck. And feel free to drop me a line when you're evaluating some good stress-management techniques too if you like?
|
|
Why do people cover mirrors at wakes (link)
| |
There are more superstitions about mirrors than you can poke a stick at. Turning them around to face the wall or covering during thunderstorms is another. And of course breaking one is an ill omen...but burying the broken shards in the ground offsets the bad luck somewhat! They are comparatively 'modern' and the first mirrors were owned only by the very wealthy due to their rarity and high cost to make. We take them for granted, but think about what a scary item the first mirrors would have been to people who were still very superstitious. Apart from fuzzy images in bright metal or glass or even fuzzier ones in water NOBODY had ever seen their own reflection! The mirror was almost certainly an engine of the devil, and no doubt held our soul in the mysterious reflection. Along with untold secrets about anyone who dared to gaze into one. And naturally, the cunning mirror remembered everything it ever reflected! Spooky, or what? I've always been vaguely fascinated by folklore. Anything regarding mirrors can be attributed to the 'shock of the new'. Something unfathomable to the majority of the first people to encounter it. Sort of 'alien technology'. If you sit in front of a mirror holding a candle in a dark room you might see your spirit behind you, over your shoulder. Don't turn around...but you can ask it one question, about anything and it must answer true and in full. Isn't that one lovely?? The covering of a mirror at a wake may also be tied in to an old custom among the noble houses whereby the death of a family member would see the ornate gilt frames of paintings and mirrors get a temporary coat of black paint, as a sign of mourning.
|
19/f
Recently I went clubbing and I got alot of attention from guys who asked me to dance. However I turned them down because I have a boyfriend.
This happens quite alot, and I'm beginning to enjoy attention from other guys since my boyfriend told me outright that sex is on the bottom of his list with our relationship.
Now my boyfriend is lovely for emotional reasons but physically theres a problem. I barely fancy him, and if we show physical displays of affection (kiss, cuddles) I'm ALWAYS the one to initiate it.
As for sex-he doesn't really like it! And he's not very good at it either...
I don't know what to do because I like my boyfriend, and I know a relationship isn't just physical but I feel deprived! Almost like my boyfriend doesn't see me in that way anymore.
We've been together for a year and i don't know what to do! (link)
| |
I'm afraid the bottom line is probably that at 19 you are unlikely to settle for a relationship based solely on emotional security and companionship for any length of time. It's natural that you therefore feel drawn to 'other guys' who signal, and represent the probability of a more physical relationship. I should say you need to make it known that you find his level of sexual attraction and activity unacceptable and make every attempt to work it out. You do not have to perfectly matched in sex-drive to have a great relationship but it should be reasonably similar, and acceptable to both parties. A year into the relationship you should really both be still strongly attracted physically to one another and keen on showing it through sex. If you cannot resolve matters then it is almost certainly best to part sooner rather than later. Of course, if his reluctance is based on him feeling that he is indeed "not very good at it" then there is every reason to be hopeful of a 'fix' for the relationship. You can work at that! Remember that it is largely a myth that ANY guy can be an expert at sex, per se. That he can please ANY woman. It's about him becoming an expert at pleasing YOU individually. And a guy can become a master at pleasing his particular partner through communication. I'll just say that guidance and encouragement from you will work best re. his performance. Avoid criticism, especially negative and de-constructive criticism, which will lower his confidence. Meaning praise the bits he gets right and develop/build on them, and invite new things you'll enjoy. Rather than criticising the bits he gets wrong (wrong for you that is, it makes no difference if a previous girlfriend enjoyed them). He should start getting the picture soon! Hope you might find some ideas in my reply, or something to work with? X
|
|
Hello Advicenators: Is it okay to use hot tap water from the kitchen sink to cook with in recipes? From boiling potatoes to mash or for soup etc. Thanks, Dzadzy (link)
|
Just looking at your post and reply. As answered, no, tap water from a heater is not boiling and unless you keep putting heat in from the gas rings or electric hobs it will of course rapidly cool even further. If you mean can you use the hot water tap to fill the pots etc in cooking (as a sort of a 'head start' over using stone-cold water from the cold tap) it's possible but not advisable. Pull a glass of hot water and put it in the chiller till it's cold. Then pour a glass of cold water from the cold tap. They don't taste the same do they? The hot water that has been in your domestic heater and cooled down tastes 'funny' and not as pleasant for some reason. You don't want to taint the food so use cold water every time. Guess it must be 'going through the heater' that makes it taste dodgy, because all the water comes into the house through the same single pipe, from one water-main originally. Save the hot tap for washing the dishes and always pull from the cold tap for drinking, making tea or coffee and cooking has to be the rule, I should say.
ps. No idea why this should be. Maybe a plumber or water company engineer could shed some light??
|
F/18. You see I'm sharing an apartment with my best friend from six years (middle and high school) and its only been three months and a few weeks but I feel... strange. Its like I'm slowly getting to know her for real. At the beginning of the semester she dyed the tips of her hair blonde (I mean like yellow-yellow and not just tips, practically the whole half of her hair). She's the type of girl who's always wanting to do things right and is proper when needed to be. The thought recently occurred to me... that maybe... she's been trying to... I don't even know how to put it. It seems like she often tries to impress with her shorts and her dyed hair and her supposedly innocent acts where guys have flirted with her but she didn't notice. Sometimes I feel kind of bad and self-conscious when I'm around her and we're accompanied by people, because compared to me:
I'm thin and flat-chested, she has more body;
I'm shy and don't talk much or have a flirty/witty attitude of any sort, she talks much more than me and has a reachable personality;
She is way smarter than me.
She is younger than me by a few months yet she drives and I haven't gotten my driver's licence yet (I actually haven't had time to get something other than my Learner's Permit)
She has also done a few things I'm not very fond of. She takes a lot of the space on the cabinets in the kitchen and the fridge (we're two and the place is not that small so there should be enough space for both... yet there isn't); she's ditched me on various occassions for different things and different excuses; she's always interested in many guys and is quick to get all the attention.
I guess I just want to be mre upright and have more personality but I'm torn in two here: Who's really wrong? Me? Because of my image complex and posible feelings of jealousy towards her life and how she is able to do things I can't.
Or her? Because of the occasions in which she has not supported me/been there for me/ ditched me/comments on how I'm a 'twig' or 'boney' with a playful laugh that actually bothers the smithers out of me(yes I do not know if that Word even exists but in my mind it does)/shot down my dreams (she always has a "fact" or an "opinion" about my ideas or my style of dressing or... you get the idea).
I already said to myself that next semester I would start a new me and try to be more outspoken, confident, etc. I actually feel bad about
(link)
| |
Hi! Detailed post, well written with lots of specific issues. Let's look for a theme which might embrace them all? Are you creating a narrative here where you judge yourself and your happiness against who you feel you should be and the things you feel should make you happy....but are falling short? Well, what we THINK makes us happy is often in contrast to what actually does. Identify the things which comprise YOUR happiness. Focus on them, pursue them with all your capacity and secure them. Then the details of your friends life and attitudes will not seem so important to you. And you will envy nobody. X
|
|
if im horny and a girl what do i do about it? (link)
| |
If you're a sngle girl and don't want to go for purely recreational/casual sex without commitment (which is not usually a great idea and doesn't make a girl, or guy feel that special really) then you can relieve the tension and horny feelings by masturbating. Perfectly normal, harmless and can be lots of fun and very satisfying. Why not set aside some quiet 'me-time' when you're feeling horny and just explore what makes you feel good? Let your mind conjure-up some favourite fantasies and just indulge in them. If you like watching sexy movies (aka 'porn' really) there's no harm i doing so. Lot's of girls get-off better via imaginiation and ideas than visual images...but it's your choice, there's no right or wrong. Try varying what you do. How long you pleasure yourself for. Where. Different rhythms and pressure. And so on. You can use the time to explore your responses. Find out what feeels great, what's sort of 'ok', what definitely doesn't do anythng for you, etc. And explore orgasms/climax too. It's sure to feel great and you'll learn lots about yourself in the process. And it'll repay itself as and when you are in a relationship too. Lots of women complain that their partners don't really know how to please and satisfy them...sometimes they haven't learned what makes them feel great themselves! So take the opportunity now, don't waste those horny feelings. Go with them! How's that for an enjoyable and productive way to use that sexual tension? Have fun! X
|
|
I'm 16/f. I have a guy who I'm just gunna call my boyfriend because we are pretty much dating without the official title. So he smokes weed and I am the least bit judge mental about it but I'm genuinely worried about him. Like I want to try weed with him too one day but I just need to see what the hype is about. He has been doing it for several years. I have my own additions so I understand but he said that he was quitting and that was a long time ago when he said he was having his last smoke before quitting. I understand but he said he's in full control. Like I want to help him and be supportive but he just does more of it. How do I help him quit? It's better than smoking cigars or cigarettes like he used to but I still wanna help. (link)
| |
The short but rather blunt answer is that you cannot quit for him or prevent him doing it in any workable, practical way. It has to be his choice. You elected to date and still choose to date a guy you know smokes weed. Surely loving someone means loving who and what they are, NOT loving the person you would have them be or believe you can make them into? If he has no inclination or desire to quit you must accept that 'my boyfriend smokes weed' and get on with it, or decide that it is not acceptable to you and look elsewhere. Making him choose (quit or smoke without me) is very direct and will force a result. But you have to be in a frame of mind where you can handle either outcome before you issue an ultimatum of this order. I appreciate you feel it is in his best interest to quit but it simply doesn't work like that. While smoking weed satisfies some need, aspiration or desire in him he will continue to do it. If or when it no longer does it will hold no attraction for him. As you point out nicotine is worse since it supports a strong physical addiction and craving which often needs more than the desire to quit alone. Weed is a lifestyle choice and lacks the ability to build the nicotine dependency a 20 or more per day cigarette smoker will be subject to.
|
Lately i have been getting a reallly weird pain in my stomach area. It is on my lower right side and it is not that painful but it still hurts a bit. Also, the pain comes and goes. I usually get it every 5 or 7 minutes. I am really scared because my first thought was that i have those worms in the liver. However, i have a quite good diet. I don't really exercise but my diet is quite healthy. However, i drink a lot of coke and i have heard some horrible stories about coke piercing your stomach and stuff. Please if you have an idea of what it is or how to stop it tell me!!
(link)
|
Quite agree with your reply, you need to let a doctor have a look. They can learn loads simply by feeling the area with their hands and asking about other symtoms that might not seem related. You'll get some answers straight away. I might help a little by saying the liver is an odd organ in that it has no sense of feeling. It can be badly damaged indeed and we don't feel a thing. Meaning pain in the area signifies NOTHING about the state of your liver, so don't assume yours is damaged or diseased and get scared. It may enlarge and press on parts that do have sensory cells and you WILL feel a pain. But again, that does not mean it's damaged and you have anything seriously wrong. The doc will sort things out.
Ps. Coca-cola have sold millions of bottles a day since the 1930's. If it harmed health in the way some internet stories suggest we'd have known long ago and it would have an official health warning on the pack like cigarettes.
|
|
I just had sex with my boyfriend today on my second day of my period , is there any chance of me geeting pregnant because he only stuck it in a few times and wasnt near squirting not even close to getting there but he stopped because i told him to take it out because i didnt feel comfortable? Please answer my question.... :( im scared (link)
| |
Based on what you have said I would think it unlikely that you will be pregant. Not impossible, but highly unlikely. But it's unlikely because he did not penetrate you for any length of time and did not 'squirt' (ejaculate, or cum...whatever term you prefer) and NOT purely because it was during your period. It's best to assume there is NO completely safe time to have unprotected sex (condom) or other means of birth control. So sort something out quick. Relying on 'safe days' or 'safe periods' is ok for a couple who feel a baby would be OK if it happens, sometime quite soon...or OK too if it doesn't just yet. If pregnancy is something you are dreading, or fearing or is a real no-go area right now then forget it and use some solid and reliable means of birth-control every time, all the time. Pre-cum (leaking out, a clear fluid, before squirting fully) can contain some live sperm and is always a low-order risk if you are unlucky. An even bigger risk is him becoming highly excited and spurting fully and unexpectedly (not expected by either of you!) while he is inside you. Which is definitely a bad idea.
|
|
So I'm following this women on social media her daughter is a cancer surviver. Her daughter was the third or fourth baby ever born with this really rare cancer. She's the only baby ever to survive this rare cancer. She is now 2 years old. Only 1% of people get it. Her mom is a big advocate for pediatric cancer. She just posted a pic of this 16 year old boy who just died of the same cancer her child had. Now ever sense she posted this picture I can't stop looking at it. I feel so bad for this boy and his family and friends. In the picture he has such a big smile on his face. I can't stop crying about it. I feel so sad all the time now. It's as if I lost someone close to me. I've never met him or heard of him until now. I found a Facebook page that his family made. It is for his family and friends to keep them all updated through his journey. Everyone has been so proud of how strong and positive he's been. They also like seeing pictures of him smiling and laughing. But now I'm so depressed I don't understand it. How is it possible that I'm grieving for someone I don't know? (link)
| |
Do you want a full answer? Yes, as humans we can emapthise with all aspects of the human conditions in others. We can share in someones happiness, pleasure and indeed grief. We naturally 'identify' with the feelings of others, since they are one and the same feelings as our own. Let's look for a minute at the concept of 'tragedy' in literature, live performing arts and more recently (in comparison) film and TV. It might seem odd that there is any call for 'sad stories' or that we can possibly gain anything positive from reading/viewing them. The classic motive is one of 'catharsis'. This means the experience 'changes us' in other words. It puts us through agony and/or fear vicariously, in order to make us understand it better. We are given the relief of experiencing it WITHOUT HAVING TO EXPERIENCE IT PERSONALLY. Your story is NOT of course a piece of 'tragic fiction'. Neither will you feel the sheer gut-wrenching misery of experiencing this guys pain yourself (real for him) and neither will you feel the acute loss you would have felt had he been a close personal friend of family member. It will not be quite 'that bad'. You are in a sort of empathetic 'half-way house'. More real than fiction, less devastating than personal loss. It shows you are a deep feeling person with a strong sense of empathy. That you 'care' deeply. That's a good thing in many ways. It's an admirable character trait to have. Essentially, your are looking into yourself and asking the question "How would I feel if I were his sister/mum/girlfriend/best mate? How must THEY feel? What would this unfortunate guy have felt himself? Powerful stuff, eh? And it is not given to all to be able to project themselves in this way. How many unkind and hurtful acts would be left undone if the perpretator was able to see the effect the act would have from the victims perspective and chosen a kinder path? You have this character. It's a good thing, don't you agree? XX
|
|
can i get gonorrhea from scratching myself with dirty fingers (link)
| |
Not from fingers which are simply 'dirty' in a non-specific way, no. It's a bacterial sti and you must come into contact with someone who has the active infection themselves to contract it yourself. Makes sense to make sure your hands are clean (washed with plain old soap and water, not sanitised or scrubbed in bleach!) before handling your genitals intimately and/or for a longer period. Ok?
|
|
so I started a new school and became really close to this guy we later found out we both like each other but I feel like I have to do all the work, organising dates etc... we are now boyfriend and girlfriend and it was going really well but we have only been together for about 3 weeks. the other day we went for dinner and a movie and in the cinema he started touching my leg and gradually stroking up towards my core. we have had a few dirty conversations about what we want to do to each other so I didn't find it weird. I ended up touching his cock and trying to get him off but the movie finished so we decided to go to a park which I found really creepy and it was cold. so I tried to give him a handjob but it was difficult and we were running out of time as our parents were wondering where we were. I offered to suck him and he laid down and came in my mouth a few minutes later which I loved cause he tasted really good. he walked me to my bus stop and we kissed goodbye. since then at school he's been a little distant and weird and not wanting to show any PDA even hugging. has he gone off me? (link)
| |
Does sound a little confusing mate. Really, sharing some intimate moments like this (were you stimulate and pleasure one another) are intended to STRENGTHEN the bond between you, eh? You seem full of positives about the experience, and that's a great sign. You're meant to enjoy it and you did. You want to enjoy it again. He seems to have taken something less definite and positive away from the encounter? OK, you've told us how good it made you feel...have you let HIM know? Straight after the excitement of an encounter like this there willl tend to be a bit of a lull, a 'coming back down to earth' moment if you like. Did you perhaps part on that note? Leaving him a bit unsure of how you felt about it, how he should be feeling too? How about making it your mission to let him know in no uncertain terms that you're more than cool about what happened. It was great. He was great. And when are we gonna do it again?? Communication is so often the golden key. Reassurance kills our self-doubt and insecurities. Go on then. Get talking! X
|
|
Hey , um I'm 18 years old , next year im supposed to be in college and i don't know which major ill be in , When i 5 i started using computers and i loved computers.As i grew up , i became a Graphic designer through home experience (Photoshop,Maya,max,flash 8,unity3D), its my passion.Where i from , only 4 or 3 private(VERY EXPENSIVE!) universities offer computer graphics major.When i turned 14 i began to like computer science and coding , though I'm not good at it as much as computer graphics.A lot of colleges here offer Computer science , i like it and all but its pretty difficult plus i never tried programming before.So what should i go for Computer science or computer graphics ?? Thank you (link)
| |
I may shed a little light, hopefully. I'm a Photoshop user. And for my honours project at University (not related to my photographic activities) I used 3ds max to create photo-real and animated 'virtual prototypes' to demonstrate and evaluate new products. That was the subject of my project, high-end computer animation in rapid product development. Had a brush with Maya, but preferred max. As you are no doubt aware, coding doesn't feature in using these programs. It's all graphical user interface stuff. So is Photoshop. I got really quite handy with max (and AutoCAD to produce the original 3D engineering drawings). I still can't code for toffee, but the programmers at my university couldn't do anything like what I could with 3ds max. If you're into design, you love it and are good at it then spending years learning to write code will probably not spark your enthusiasm. I got well into 3D modelling and rendering. I'd spend hours tweaking models and scenes. I got a first too. How about having a look at some psychometric profiling? If the results are tending to suggest creative/artistic career paths, and marking you as visually stimulated etc then I should say coding is not the path. A university degree takes a lot of time and effort and if you're heart's not in what you're doing and (frankly) it bores you a bit...it will be a long hard path. If you love what you're doing you'll love the challenges too and want to show off what you got. Good luck...and choose wisely.
|
|
I swear I see God when I have sex with my current partner - he's the first man to ever make me cum. The problem is he doesn't seem to get off....ever. We've been together twice, the sex has gone on for hours and still no climax for him. I have suggested we bring another woman in (hoping that would help) he says he doesn't care either way, Im not really inclined to force the issue and I don't want to pressure him about it but I feel like maybe I don't please him....what should I do? (link)
| |
It is rare for a man not to climax during sex, it's far more common for a guy to ejaculate too soon to ensure his partner is satisfied. It is realistic to say that in most cases 15 minutes of actively coupling is a long session for many couples. 'Hours' before a guy climaxing is not usually in the picture (though some women would no doubt feel delighted with the scenario) and in your case he seems not to 'get there' at all? Obviously if a guy loses or partly loses his erection it can prove impossible for him to climax, but this is NOT the case here I assume? As this makes it impossible to continue having sex at all in the usual manner. I certainly would NOT try inviting another woman to join in, perhaps hoping that this will get him so excited he climaxes? He doesn't seem particulalry 'into' the idea anyway. That's fine. It can be something of a big male fantasy to have sex with two women, but it's fair to say that extremely few relationships actually engage in such activity. I mean, are you going to have another woman with you every time you have sex? I can see that him not climaxing might make you feel you are letting him down? But has he ever suggested such a thing himself? So what's 'going wrong'? Could it be that he feels so intent on pleasuring YOU that he effectively surrenders his own climax? I don't think that perhaps suggesting that you want to make him feel as good as he makes you feel would be presuring him. Have you tried this approach? Suggesting he can 'let go' and enjoy himself, and that you'd LOVE him to? Or possibly, when you feel he is approaching climax you turn-up the heat a little? I'm not suggesting you are lacking in any respect usually of course. More a case of deliberatly amplifying things a bit? Some sexy moves, sounds and words...I'm sure you know what I mean? Put on a bit of a show. It can be quite liberating for both partners. It's for him, you are not (do not need to!) fake your own climax to please him. In terms of technique if you are in a position where you could use your thumb and forefinger to encircle and squeeze the base of his penis (which will also tend to hold his foreskin back and fully expose the head of his penis) this is likely to increase any guys urgency and enhance his sensation, hopefully leading to a satisfying climax? Possibly a position where you are in control of the action might be worth a try? I think the key is to find some way of encouraging him to let go enough to enjoy his climax. A guys climax is fundamentally similar to a womans in some ways. Both have to 'let go' to their own desires at the crucial moment. Hope you might find something in my reply you can work with?
|
|