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Can you grieve for someone you didn't know?
So I'm following this women on social media her daughter is a cancer surviver. Her daughter was the third or fourth baby ever born with this really rare cancer. She's the only baby ever to survive this rare cancer. She is now 2 years old. Only 1% of people get it. Her mom is a big advocate for pediatric cancer. She just posted a pic of this 16 year old boy who just died of the same cancer her child had. Now ever sense she posted this picture I can't stop looking at it. I feel so bad for this boy and his family and friends. In the picture he has such a big smile on his face. I can't stop crying about it. I feel so sad all the time now. It's as if I lost someone close to me. I've never met him or heard of him until now. I found a Facebook page that his family made. It is for his family and friends to keep them all updated through his journey. Everyone has been so proud of how strong and positive he's been. They also like seeing pictures of him smiling and laughing. But now I'm so depressed I don't understand it. How is it possible that I'm grieving for someone I don't know?
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If I understand, you are feeling that what you are experiencing goes beyond what you feel normal human empathy would be.
Unknown to your conscious mind, perhaps on a subconscious level, something about the boy, his looks, the name or something else clicked with your subconscious and since our emotions are connected to our subconscious, therefore you are grieving. There may be no connection to anyone you've ever lost in this lifetime. I don't mean to offend if you don't believe the same, but in cases like this, I have found reasonable explanation to be found in the belief on reincarnation. If you believe your soul has lived lives before, then this child may remind your soul of someone you lost in a previous life. I know, sounds far fetched. But I had a similar experience. I met a woman at the home of friends having a potluck, never having met before and we clicked as friends immediately. But the end of evening when time to go home, I found myself feeling frantic that I might never see her again, as if she were a long lost relative I just bumped into and had to fight tears at the thought so I asked to trade phone numbers, all the while wondering as you are, why I was feeling like this, she hadn't shared any sad stories for me to feel empathy about. By next time we met, I'd had some dreams and shared with her, to find she was someone gifted with psychic abilities and was able to confirm we both have known each other many times in previous lives, always choosing to be born in the same time frame so we can meet. We are now good friends and consider each other as a sister. I have never experienced anything like that before or since but I feel at peace with my acceptance of this explanation.
Blessings to you.
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Do you want a full answer? Yes, as humans we can emapthise with all aspects of the human conditions in others. We can share in someones happiness, pleasure and indeed grief. We naturally 'identify' with the feelings of others, since they are one and the same feelings as our own. Let's look for a minute at the concept of 'tragedy' in literature, live performing arts and more recently (in comparison) film and TV. It might seem odd that there is any call for 'sad stories' or that we can possibly gain anything positive from reading/viewing them. The classic motive is one of 'catharsis'. This means the experience 'changes us' in other words. It puts us through agony and/or fear vicariously, in order to make us understand it better. We are given the relief of experiencing it WITHOUT HAVING TO EXPERIENCE IT PERSONALLY. Your story is NOT of course a piece of 'tragic fiction'. Neither will you feel the sheer gut-wrenching misery of experiencing this guys pain yourself (real for him) and neither will you feel the acute loss you would have felt had he been a close personal friend of family member. It will not be quite 'that bad'. You are in a sort of empathetic 'half-way house'. More real than fiction, less devastating than personal loss. It shows you are a deep feeling person with a strong sense of empathy. That you 'care' deeply. That's a good thing in many ways. It's an admirable character trait to have. Essentially, your are looking into yourself and asking the question "How would I feel if I were his sister/mum/girlfriend/best mate? How must THEY feel? What would this unfortunate guy have felt himself? Powerful stuff, eh? And it is not given to all to be able to project themselves in this way. How many unkind and hurtful acts would be left undone if the perpretator was able to see the effect the act would have from the victims perspective and chosen a kinder path? You have this character. It's a good thing, don't you agree? XX
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