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gave my boyfriend a blowjob and now he's acting distant
so I started a new school and became really close to this guy we later found out we both like each other but I feel like I have to do all the work, organising dates etc... we are now boyfriend and girlfriend and it was going really well but we have only been together for about 3 weeks. the other day we went for dinner and a movie and in the cinema he started touching my leg and gradually stroking up towards my core. we have had a few dirty conversations about what we want to do to each other so I didn't find it weird. I ended up touching his cock and trying to get him off but the movie finished so we decided to go to a park which I found really creepy and it was cold. so I tried to give him a handjob but it was difficult and we were running out of time as our parents were wondering where we were. I offered to suck him and he laid down and came in my mouth a few minutes later which I loved cause he tasted really good. he walked me to my bus stop and we kissed goodbye. since then at school he's been a little distant and weird and not wanting to show any PDA even hugging. has he gone off me?
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It sounds like you may be a little more sexually experienced than he is. While he didn't turn down the your offer to suck him off it may have been his first time getting a BJ and now he is wondering about your sexual history especially since you are new at school.
It is strange I grant you that. But you may have caught him with his pants down literally and figuratively. Try talking to him and finding out where he is at. Communication is what is needed here. IF he is put off because he thinks you are more sexually experienced than he is and maybe you are there is not much you can do about it. I can only suggest that with the next time play harder to get and wait until he gives you some pleasure before you pleasure him. This does not mean to have intercourse as you are too young for that.
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Does sound a little confusing mate. Really, sharing some intimate moments like this (were you stimulate and pleasure one another) are intended to STRENGTHEN the bond between you, eh? You seem full of positives about the experience, and that's a great sign. You're meant to enjoy it and you did. You want to enjoy it again. He seems to have taken something less definite and positive away from the encounter? OK, you've told us how good it made you feel...have you let HIM know? Straight after the excitement of an encounter like this there willl tend to be a bit of a lull, a 'coming back down to earth' moment if you like. Did you perhaps part on that note? Leaving him a bit unsure of how you felt about it, how he should be feeling too? How about making it your mission to let him know in no uncertain terms that you're more than cool about what happened. It was great. He was great. And when are we gonna do it again?? Communication is so often the golden key. Reassurance kills our self-doubt and insecurities. Go on then. Get talking! X
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Sounds like you're both young, and young people don't always handle sexual experiences the best. It'll most likely pass. Don't worry about it. If he seems distant for too long, talk to him.
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The only way you can find out what's going on in his mind since you're not a mind reader (make sure you tell him that) is to ask him. Let him know what you are sensing and feeling. Generally, women's intuition is pretty much right on...but in our teens, its still developing and you might be sensing things wrong.
Guys in teens are more interested in playing around sexually, trying to experience sex and find a sex partner. It's normal to want to explore but gals get hurt cus they want love and commitment with it but the guys don't at this age, at least most don't, and they are more into the lust of sex, not the sex that evolves out of love for each other. It could be that he had short term goals of just experiencing a blow job for the first time and he never thought beyond it. So now that he reached his goal, he doesn't have any others for more of the same or a true relationship with the girl who gave it to him.
It's hard to understand the warning signs when we're young cus we're still so new at this/relationships, but you're telling me that you have to do all the work in keeping up contact means that its likely he's not as interested in you as you are in him. Also, you say its been 3 weeks you've been together...and in a way that's almost too short a time to tell what the plus's are here or what the problems might be. I will share a piece off a dating advice post I saved in hopes you may find it helpful.
Why some relationships aren't working in a nut shell:
Some women give their love and devotion to a guy who doesn't deserve it, who is wrong for her
while others no matter how plain and simple the signs are of his love and devotion, they don't see it or trust it because of lack of self confidence. (again, 3 weeks is too soon to be able to tell this but good to know for future)
1 A woman's insecurity and neediness will kill a man's love ( This goes also for initial interest)
Do you love me, do you love me? No matter what he says or does, she never believes him, even if he's never done anything to earn her distrust.She also can't leave him alone and is constantly contacting him 24/7 because she has no life of her own or is trying to make him, her life.
2 It's impossible to love others and be loved by others unless you love yourself first.
Don't look to a man for all your self esteem and self worth. Have it already before relationship..(This one is particularly hard for teens because the majority lack self esteem, always worried about fitting in and being accepted by others .
3. Men do not show love the same way women do. For them it's how they feel when she is around and how she fulfills the dreams of the woman he's wanted and how possessive he feels if another man was paying too much attention to her. Some women translate love into his obsession for her and devotion while men translate her love for him as being appreciated and respected. (So ask yourself, are you giving him respect and telling him what you appreciate about him? Respecting his wishes and any boundaries is important as well as his feelings and emotions, not asking more than the guy is ready or willing to give. The only way you can know is he is ready for something in the relationship is to ask. If the answer is no or not ready, then back off and leave him be.)
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