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March 14, 2004Answers:
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What's up? Well, I'm sure like each and every other advice columnist is that, we all enjoy giving advice . I like to keep things real and you'll find out how real when you ask me a question . I absolutely love helping people . Hollah at me sometimes !!! Oh, and yahoo me . Goodness sakes knows that I could do with the mail.
advice
I need help dumping my b/f of 1 week..I mean he is cool but I don't feel a *spark* when I'm around him or even talking to him! He is one of my friends and I'd like to keep it that way.. but I dont really wanna date him anymore.. can you help me please??
-Molly
Put it in this form :
You're a nice guy and you're really a excellent friend and boyfriend, but I don't this will work .
Then use things/lines such as "it isn't you,it's me" or "I have inner issues that I need to deal with and I need to deal with them alone." Give reasonable reasons and you may have to back them up with reasonable and good examples . Try to be true , and I'd stick with the first line if I were you . Tell him that it's just not going to work out because you really don't think that it's enough spark/passion . End it with, "it just wasn't meant to be" line . Hope I was some help and good luck . ALSO HAVE A MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR .
I really like this girl that I met in september. she's really flirty with me - and not with ALL guys (maybe just a few...whatever). And she went through this phase where she was a total bitch to me but she would have this cute little grin on her face assuming i didnt notice. like almost 3 weeks ago she was like - i wanna be friends and not a bitch and then she would talk to me and come up to me a lot again and flirt. I want to ask her out eventually, but i wanna know what the deal is - even if were "just friends"
k thanks
Well, if you really want to find out the real deal , you have to talk to her about what issues you want to ask her about . You should talk to her and you should ask her why she is the way she is, but you probably mught want to rephrase this question . Then you should ask her out . Know that just because a person acts a certain way that it doesn't determine who they really are and what they'll actually do when truly coming from the heart . So talk to her . Sometimes girls just flirt, and if she does reject you, then know that it's no big deal at all . You'll live. Talk to her if you really want to find out the real deal .
I really like this boy and he says that he really likes me, however he has a girlfriend and doesn't want to hurt her by dumping her. He is always with me and he tells me that he cares and wants to be with me, but I don't want to get hurt. It hurts me enough to know that he has a girlfriend, I have never loved like this before. Everytime he kisses me I seem to melt. I want him so badly, but what about his gf. he is afraid and so am I?
No . You are putting his concern above yours . You are falling for this guy and he says he loves you and he says that he really wants to be with you . He must really love the other girl he's with because he won't break up with her just to be with you and he says he loves you . If he really and truly cares, then he wouldn't put you through this . No matter how much he doesn't want to hurt her, if he truly wanted to be with you then he would . Sorry if I sound like a total bitch, but I think you may be too in love with this guy and he's causing you to lose your wits about you . Yes he may care about you, but you really need to talk to him . Imagine if his girlfreind found you two making out , or heard it from one of her friends that you two were secretly together behind her back . It'd be treacherous and she'd freak . He has to be honest with her if he truly doesn't want to hurt her . Talk to him about this . If he doesn't take action maybe you should move on because things won't change . Maybe he thinks he can have you both . Well, whatever it is talk to him about it . Forgive me if I was a bit too rash bit I do really care . Oh, and HAVE A MERRY AND HAPPY CHRISTMAS AND ALONG WITH THAT A HAPPY AND VERY DEAR NEW YEAR .
I have lost so many important and special people in my life that now I don't know who to trust anymore. I am getting really close to someone (everyone I get close to is an adult) and I am afraid of getting hurt by her like everyone else I get close to. I have told her this and she says that shes not like the other people, but how do I know. This is a person that I wish were my mother because she is just so incredible and my mom doesnt care about me. What do I do?
You can't let this trust issue get in the middle of your life because if it does, it'll really affect you hard and it will be an everlasting phase . Think of it as the past . Every step you take becomes your past . So every person that you have trust issues with, let you have trust issues with them . Not with the people who want to be in your life ,and towards the people that really love you and care about you . Every person you have issues with let them be past issues and forgive them . For they will get theirs and you truly shall get yours . So don't let trust issues define who you are and who you'll/may come to be . Don't let your fear of this issue stop people from coming in your life because this issue could chase them away . So, I hope I was some help and I wish you a MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR .
okay so heres the thing.....i am really depressed, and i know it and so i cut myself....but not my wrists or anything just my legs and my ankles.......and i think about death alot, but not ohters just myself....what do you think i shuld do
Start to think of things that you want to achieve in life because it may help you get over this depression you have . Start acknowledging what you're truly depressed about and try to face those facts and move on . Don't dwell on those things and don't let them get you down. Focus on hobbies,things that interest you, or just read a book . Remember, you have a life and that you have true potential . So don't waste it . I feel that you put your responsibility towards your needs and that's alright sometimes . Until we start neglecting our true feelings which cause depression , so don't do this to yourself . Do what you have to do, as long as it's right . Well, I hope I was some help and I WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR .
My boyfriend wants to go farther than i want to go and ya but i rele like him and hes soo cute and the only reason he wants to is because his brother makes fun of him and yay so should i have sex with him
You need to talk to him and you really need to tell him how you feel . Tell him that you deeply and truly care for him and that he means so much to you . Maybe you could be clever and add something flattering towards his good looks . Then after telling him this, you need to tell him that sex isn't to be taken too likely . Tell him that you're not ready and that he has to respect that because you respect his decisions . If you have to, make up and example when you've done this. Then tell him that you won't have sex with him just because his brother makes fun of him being a virgin because it's your body and ,like I said, sex isn't to be taken likely . Try talking to him rashionally and maybe he'll understand . If he doesn't, then it's up to you from then on . Hope I was some help and have a MERRRY CHRISTMAS AND A VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR !
his name is ryan and i have a little thing for him. he has a huge thing for me & he's really truly a nice guy & smart. but i'm scared that if i finally do say yes to him... (he's been asking me out for a while now) that it wont be as great as my last relationship.i'm scared that me & him won't have much to talk about and then i'm just gonna have a hard time breaking up with him..and i dont wanna end up in a mess like that all over again!...and plus i still have a thing for my ex who obviously still has a thing for me...but i dont think me & him will be hooking up anytime soon since he has a girlfirend & he thinks i dont care about him anymore...
You need to tell him that you want to be with him . Don't let past relationships determine your future relationships, and don't worry about how hard it'll be to break up with someone . You'll do that only when it's in need of a break up . You're pondering too hard and that's okay . I think that you two will do great . All you have to do is believe and except that whatever happens just happens . And that it's meant to be . Well have a nice day.
well me and steve are "together" i guess and he has been grounded for a few weeks so we are hangin out on friday , we really like eachother and i heard he might ask me out next time we hangout so i dont know... i want something fun to do we were going to go out with our friends who are together, i but i dont know if we`re all going together but we probably will. we were going to go to the movies then go to his house but he doesnt really want to go to his house. any ideasss? thankss oh yea we are all 15 and 16 (just if anyone wanted to know)
Well try to find out what things he likes to do and then on the evening of you're date, do both things . Yeah it'll be good to getting to know what his hobbies and likes are . Yes , you'll have to compromise some , but he'll do the same as well . Do something that you'll know you'll have fun doing . I know it's not a good reply, but I try . I hope I was some help and have a nice day .
my boyfriend is always pressuring me to have sex. i'm not a virgin, which i told him, but i dont think i am ready to have sex with him. i mean we have been going out for 4 months, but i really dont think i am ready for that kind of commitment. the last and first guy i had sex with was my first love we had known each other since we were 3. me and him are still friends and my boyfriend always gets jealous of me talkin to him. he also cussed me out various times in person and on the phone. i really dont know what to do about this and i KNOW i cant ask my mom cuz she would go and cuss him out. 17/f/ga
If he's pressuring you to have sex and you don't want to, tell him that it's your body and that you can do whatever you want to do . Tell him he has no right to curse you and that he has no right to tell you when you should lay down with him . Who does he think he is ? Oh and my advice is that if he curses you just because he's jealous and just because he wants to have sex with you, then move on . He's not worth it . He doesn't understand you from what it seemed like you typed . Your worth seems damn good, and your worth as a girl must be damn great to put up with him . Because I wouldn't . You need to talk to him and tell him how you feel .If you don't like his reply , you know what you can do . Well , I hope I was some help . By .
i have one friend that seems to be mad at me and my other friend and we have asked her if she is mad at us and she says no. My friend and i dont know what to do. We really want to be friends with her but i just dont know what to do
You all need to talk to her . You all need to air out whatever frustrates you with her because that's the only way you're going to mend this friendship . If it doesn't work , then you'll kknow that it truly wasn't meant to be . Conversing woth each other is a major deal with have a friendship and don't repress your feelis when it comes to an issue . It only makes matters worse . So, I hope I was some help and have a nice day .By.
How do i move on? i broke up with my boyfriend because i was pissssed off at him cuz i found out shit about him that he didnt tell me himself. He was trying to get back with me but i didnt want to even though i still have feelings for him. Now we dont talk and i want him back!!! but i cant, so how do i move on? what are things that i can do to heal my broken heart?
Well, there's really not a way to move on quickly if the fling wasn't really intense and passionate in a good way . It comes with time and time you'll have . You mature with time and time will show you that you two just aren't meant to be although you could except those differences which show you that you two weren't meant to be . But why do that ? It'll be sort of like sacrificing your beliefs . SO I know it's not a brilliant answer , but I do hope that I was some help .Have a nice day .
i have my ex and i havent talked to him in 4 years i breakup was hard and sudden but i dont want to be his enemy forever i want us to be at least friends and i dont know if i should talk to him or just leave him alone and i think this girl has a HUGE crush on him and i dont want to get in it and mess it up i really need some advice i dont know what to do
Yes you all need real closure because you at least want to be mature about this relationship (meaning you only want to be his friend). So talk to him and try your all to tell him that you only want to be friends and that it isn't a way to get back into his life . If he doesn't except it then you'll have to move on .You can't make him be your friend ,and atleast you'll know that you did make an attempt to be his friends . I think you can live with that and I think that you'll do fine . So, I hope I was some help and have a nice day . Good luck .
My friend has this bf that I hooked her up with.Me and him are cool ever sence they met and I liked him I still do but not as much.Well the other day she ad a dream about us to mking out and going behind her back.I would never do that but does that dream mean something.
Yes, the dream means trust issue's . It's even her not trusting you around him, or she's not trusting him around you . You need to talk to her and you need to tell her that you're friends and that you'd never do anything to intentionally hurt her . You need to let her know that it's going to be your choice to do anything with her boyfriend and so far that, that hasn't been your plan . So talk to her and assure her . I hope I was some help and have a nice day .
okay ... i had a crush on this guy , and would always flirt and stuff , but after he started liking me , i stopped liking him .It's kinda like now i completely dislike him , i hate his confused look , i hate the way he tries to make me laugh ... i just don't like him !! Why is this happening to me ?
I don't know but some girls are like that. When we like a guy and then we dislike them because they start liking us back . That's so normal and there's nothing to be ashamed of . It's so natural.You're probably just trying or getting to know what kind/type you want in a guy . Oh and try not to freak out about it because it'll only make matters worse . Just stay cool . This will not only happen to you once in your life .Hope I was some help, and have a nice day .
i was with my bf.. and i farted he hasnt really talking to me sense. whats he thinkin bout?
You really need to talk to him and if he really can't except the fact that you farted,meaning that you're only human, then I'm afraid he can't except who you really are . You two got relationship issues that you need to discuss . Maybe it's something else . Talk and be there for each other . Thanx and I hope I was some help .
OK, there are 2 parts to this. There is this guy at my school that I really like and I know he likes me back!! But I don't know how to tell him!! I had a crush on him since last year and people say I should ask him out. But you see, I have NEVER been on a date and I'm 13 years old!! Everytime I think about him I feel like I want to kiss him so badly. He just got a haircut and now he looks even cuter, that it's driving me crazy!! OK, the 2nd part is that ever since these 2 girls found out that we liked each other they have been teasing like "So, how's your boyfriend?" He has been acting weird like we used to flirt a lot and he would always smile at me and do nice things to me now he doesn't do that anymore!! Do you think he dosn't like me no more!!?? PLEASE TELL ME!! Sorry it's so long!!
Don't listen to what those childish girls are saying. I know exactly what you're going through and you have to tell him how you feel . Don't wait because I did he same thing and if I could do it all over agai I would . I know it's not true true love(or maybe it is) I don't know . All I know is that you'll spend the rest of your years thiking about his girlfriend(when he gets one) and begin thinking how that could've been you. You have him now go for it . You want him and he wants you . You see what you want and go for it .Sorry for the length and don't worry of your length because I understand the situation better . Thanx and have a merry day .
theres a girl that i like but she has a boyfriend, is there anything i can do or do i just have to wait?
What you have to do is tell her. I'm not guaranteeing that she'll except it well, but if you see what you want , you should go for it . It's not always going to be easy. If you know she's the type that'll laugh in your face move on . If you know she's the type that'll understand but will tell you that she has a boyfriend, then tell her anyway . If she is this type or not, let her know that you know that she has a boyfriend.Understanding and communication is very important . Oh and some advice: If you do decide to tell her the truth, don't try to take total control of the conversation . Remember , that it does take two to talk . Well, I hope I was help, and I'm terribly sorry for the length.
Okay....I've liked this guy for almost 3 months, we don't even go out and I had sex with him. I know that's bad but I let all the influence get to me. Well that same day, him and his friends was playin on my cell, and when me and my friend was walkin home, I was looking through my phone and his phone #'s were gone, so I my friend called his cell, and he gave us his "supposed" house number....well my friend called it the other day the number was wrong. I was sooo mad. Plus he told his friends what happened between us now they think they gonna get some from me and their not. It's like he used me for sex but he says he didn't. I like him for the better side of him cause I know it's there. But I'm a good person and most pplz say that he's not worth me, but it's always been hard for me to get a boyfriend. So I don't wether or not I should try to stick with him or not....
I know you want to believe in him but no. NO NO NO. He's probably making you seem as a pathetic whore, and I think YOU'RE NOT A PATHETIC WHORE, but you know some guys and their ego's . Don't let him do this to you . Get over him and move on . And for the next time, get to know your guys a lot better and longer . You can see that he isn't commited to you, or else he wouldn't have lied to you, and gave you the wrong # . He would want a relationship . And don't keep doing what you're doing . YOUR WORTH IS A BILLION TIMES GREATER THAN HIS AND NEVER FORGET THAT YOUR VIRTUE IS TRUE . Hope I was some help and peace .
This year i started a new school and made a really good friend. We do a sport together so we became pretty close fast. Well I am switing back to my old school cause i'm really unhappy at the one i am at now. Well i have to tell my new friend that i'm not goin to be goin to school with her anymore. What should i do cause i dont want to hurt her feelings but i need to tell her.
You need to tell her the truth and make her realize that you both can still have a long distance friendship . Email each other, talk on the phone, write letters, set dates to meet (unless it's really afar from where you moved.) . Let her know that you'll still be devoted to your friendship whenever you leave. and this'll show her some comfort . Hope I was some help and peace.
Okay, this is kinda compicated. So theres this guy i like. hes a year younger than me, hes 16 im 17, but i couldnt care less about that. last year, at homecoming, two of our mutual friends decided that he and i should go out. so they convinced him to ask me to homecoming. he really liked me. but i was still in the process of getting over this really complicated relationship/non-relationship which it has taken me until a few months ago to get over. i did have some feelings for this guy (the first guy) but i wasnt ready and i felt cornered cuz our two mutual friends were pushing for this so when he asked me,... i reacted pretty badly. as in not good. rejected him. not gently.now, hes hung up on these two different girls, one is an exchange student from new zealand. shes really nice, but ive talked to her about her and him, and she says itll never happen. the other girl is not allowed to date. so there's no problem except that he likes them. sometimes i get signals from him that make me think he likes me, and then hell make a comment about one of the other girls and im really not so sure. but i really like him. but im going to college in less than a year and we wont be in the same school or even the same city. well be in the same state though. im so confused. please help.
Tell him how you feel and what you were going through in the previous relationship with your ex boyfriend . Tell him how you felt about him then, and tell him how you feel about him now . I'm sure he'll understand . Also when you talk to him, tell him something similar to " I know you must think I have some nerve . Thinking that I can ask you out again after what I did and said to you when you asked me out." My brother told me to put that because he says he'll be thinking that you're conceited, so I'm sorry if offended you . Tell him how you feel before it's too late . Hope I was some help, and have a nice day .