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I'm Max.Want an honest answer to the burning questions that keep you up all night?
You've come to the right advice column.
advice
So theres this guy I really like. He has a girlfriend though, but i cant just give up on him. We're friends but not really good ones. I like him a lot and he doesnt like me back. What should I do? What should I do to get him to like me? And by the way, he already knows I like him.
What should you do?
Absolutely nothing.
There isn't anything you can do to force this boy to like you.
First off, he's already got a girlfriend.
That alone should be enough to deter you.
And second, he doesn't like you.
If you don't like someone, do you think they could magically convince you to like them? Of course not!
I recommend you stop deluding yourself, because you're only going to end up getting hurt.
And you CAN give up on him, by the way.
The more you tell yourself you can't, the harder this is going to be.
In school as well as in my community I feel as though I'm surrounded by idiots. I'm not trying to be cocky but I feel as though I intellectually surpass almost everyone around me. The others in school are all immature and driven entirely by petty emotions and even many of the adults I know base their actions on childish thoughts. When I step back to look at the world all I see are problems caused by immature and emotionally driven people. Even my friends have become nearly unbearable lately and I'm actually quite popular in school. I have many friends, or at least people who consider themselves to be my friends.
I've always felt like an outsider despite my friends and family but recently I feel as though I'm becoming more and more depressed and generally miserable.
Thanks for taking the time to read this and potentially even answer.
I feel you.
Unfortunately, anyone and everyone can have kids these days. There's no regulation.
Having children isn't a human right.
It's a privilege.
If you knew there was a good chance all your children would be born blind, would you take that risk selfishly?
I sure hope not.
However, other people do this all the time.
They don't stop and think about how this child will be born.
Will it be stupid? Probably. But that doesn't matter, does it?
Everybody wants to have babies.
It may seem like everyone around you is shallow and stupid, and that's because it's true.
I'm sorry that life's like that, and I know it hurts to be different.
It's unfortunate how little value intelligence has in today's society. If it were up to me, people would all be sterilized at birth, then later undergo a genetic test and an IQ test and apply for permission to reproduce.
But it's not up to me.
And it's not up to you.
For now, people like us just have to grin and bear it.
We can't just sulk all day, wondering why people are so stupid.
We can start changing, though.
I'm transgender. I'm not having kids because I don't want them to be transgender either. I don't want them to go through the pain I did. It would be selfish of me to put that kind of burden on a child knowingly.
Same goes for stupid people.
As for your anxiety, I've found yoga really helps if you do a little every day for a while.
so i really liked this guy. we hung out and hooked up a couple times but i even though i tried to deny it i really did want more with him. so we were "talking" for a few weeks and then he just stopped texting me and stuff and then a week later i found out he was hooking up with one of my friends. i can't really be mad at her tho because i didn't tell her we were "talking", so she didn't know. should i mention it to her? and if so, how? helppp please:/
Don't mention anything to anyone.
This guy doesn't want anything serious, with you or your friend.
Stop wasting your energy on him and move on.
So generally speaking if a guy: stares at me, points his feet (sometimes just one foot) in my direction, touches his hair, smooths his shirt, mirrors my body movements (i.e. if i put my hands under my desk, he will to), and waves hello to me when he sees me, would it be safe to say that he likes me?
OR
could he just stare because I stare at him and are all of those signs just my imagination? We hardly ever talk in person. And I've known him for nearly a year and he has never attempted to ask me "out." I'm not questioning my own sanity, but I have been wrong about a guy liking me in past. Granted, he didn't really display any of these signs, but I just had a "feeling" that he liked me and was wrong.
I want to admit to this guy that I like him because I have liked him for quite some time, but I don't want to make both our lives awkward in the case that he doesn't also like me. So percentage-wise what are the chances that he likes me? Thanks.
No one can tell you what the chances are that he likes you based on what you've described here.
You need to stop overthinking things and get out of your head.
Don't just THINK about asking him out.
DO it.
That's the only way to know for sure.
How do I get my mom to buy me a dog?
Instead of telling your mom you are responsible enough for a pet, show her. Don't whine or cry when you can't have a dog. That will only make your mom realize you're not ready for one.
Start doing dishes, cleaning your room, etc. without someone telling you to do it. Don't bring up the dog subject again for a week. When you do bring it up, ask nicely and don't get discouraged if she says no.
me and girlfriend broke up today. September 24, is our one year anniversary..We broke up because when we first got together, whe kissed two guys in the same day and i stayed with her. I love her now and know that she wouldnt have gone anywhere, but she was on a field trip today, and sat next to one of the guys she made out with. I blew up, and today was the day i was quiting smoking. She broke up with me because she is tired of getting yelled at, what can i do..I am male, 19 years old and she is 16
You can't get her back, buddy.
Once it's over, it's over.
It hurts right now, but it'll hurt less and less every day, but you've gotta just accept that she doesn't want to be your girlfriend.
I'm a senior and i'm going to be graduating this year. I'm thinking about attending the university of Cincinnati but i have some concerns because its such a huge city. has anyone ever been there? i just want to know if its bad. i've been to the campus and it was awesome and seems like a great school.
also should i just take the chance and go if i like the campus? i'm very indecisive, i live like 5 hours away from the university so it's kinda overwhelming to think about!
thank you!
Cincinnati is beautiful. There's lots of green foliage and beautiful older buildings.
Some relatives of mine bought a house up there and they just love living in Cincinnati.
There's a lot to do there. You can go to the Zoo, which is pretty great (however, I wouldn't recommend the aquarium--too expensive and only 5 minutes to walk through it). Other than that, it's a relatively safe and fun city to live in.
If you like the campus, by all means go. You'll be spending most of your time on that campus, anyway.
I'm really shy, always have been! don't really have that many friends at school, I mean, I have friends, but i'm not popular.. Everyday I get asked by atleast 3 people why I am so quiet? why do people ask that? it's obviously because I am shy. Why does it bother people so much, I mean I am not doing anything to them! I feel like everyday people are judging me, talking about me, etc. I want to know how to overcome shyness I want to have fun in highschool, because right now I dread going everyday! I know in order to overcome it you have to learn to talk to people but it's not that easy, I never know what to say! I don't like expressing my feelings to people. Also, when people ask me why I am so quiet what can I say back to them? because, I never know how to answer their questions..
I used to get this question all the time. Just ask them back, "Why do you have to be so loud?"
People don't like what they don't understand. Most people aren't very self-aware, and get scared when they see someone intelligent enough to entertain themselves within their own mind. Most people feel uncomfortable with themselves, so much so that they hate being alone in silence with their own thoughts. Lots of people are actually afraid to be quiet, afraid to look within themselves. Actually, when you're pretty quiet, what you say has a much bigger impact than when you're constantly chattering.
However, don't think that because you're not as chatty as other people that you can't have friends.
To relax, take deep breaths and concentrate on your breathing.
This breathing relaxes people immensely, and others will be drawn to you when you're relaxed.
Also, smiling attracts people.
Do you want to hang around with someone always moping around, quiet or not?
No! Of course not!
Smile at people wherever you go, and they'll see that you're happy and confident (even if you're really not).
When you're talking to people, there's a game you can play to keep the conversation going.
Pick one word from what the other person says and expand on that, without actually telling them you're playing this game. Just do it in your head. For example:
You: "Do you play any sports?"
Them: "Well, I'm really into swimming."
You: "Swimming? I love to go swimming! Where do you swim?"
Them: "I have a pool in my backyard, actually."
You: "Really? That's awesome! You know, I used to have a pool at my old house, before I moved."
Them: "Where did you live before?"
Etc.
Good luck.
16/f
Today after my 4th lesson I was taking a nap on my desk and listening to music on my phone,then a guy who is always very rude to me hit my desk and I jumped from surprise and the next thing I knew he took out a lighter,lit it in front of my face and burned me a bit,now I have this awful blister on my right cheek -.- my class teacher will talk to him on Monday,I told her what happened,as well as to school psychologist...but what intrigues me is why is he doing such stuff? first he insults me for no reason then he burns my face...What is his problem? I never insulted him or did anything to him,I don't talk to him or look at him...to me it's like he doesn't exist.That is,until he does something like this.I never react to what he does but this was completely insane.
Maybe he's not only targeting you.
He could be harrassing other people, too.
This boy might have some psychological issues or some issues at home that might drive him to taking out his frustrations on others.
Sit as far away from him as you can.
You were right to let the teacher know what was going on.
so i have a pen pal, and he is so interesting and i don't know, i admire him, his thoughts, the way he see's things, i want to just look through his eyes, i always tried to see things the way he see's it, beautiful, take nothing for granted, haha i don't know! so there's a problem, he lives all the way in germany! this probably isn't love, but i haven't felt this way since the last person i loved..and it actually was love in vain, i loved him, but he didn't want me! and for years i never got over him, until i talked to this guy! writing letters to each other, talking about so many things, i just want to be there, i know meeting a person and knowing them is different from the letters, it can just all be an illusion, its aggravating! i have no clue what to do with these emotions, i just have no control! i wonder why i fall in love someone who is really not possible to be with..ughhh!!! i just don't know what to do. i guess i just need some words of wisdom! lol
You don't love him.
You love specific things about his personality.
Love is much different than what you're feeling.
Girls tend to fall in "love" with personalities, with behaviors.
Guys fall in "love" with looks.
Words can be very powerful. For all you know, he could be an awful excuse for a human being, but a brilliant writer. You don't really know who he is. You wouldn't even if you met him in person.
It's impossible to know what another person is feeling deep down.
Posted Friday September 10 2010, 8:24 pm
okk soo im 17/f
ok sooo me and my ex hung out today... and my feelings started coming bak for him... what do i do ? do i "talk" to him again or do i stay with my boyfriend? i love them both ! bt me and my ex have a past together yu no and i already know he likes me the way he did before.... i honestly dnt no what to do i need advice bad like its crazy... nd i jus found out that my boyfriends not coming to my skool anymore which really suckss ='[ so what do i do?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? the thing that i dont want to happen is that me and my ex do go bak out and then he ends up breaking my heart again
If he's your ex, things obviously didn't work out the first time.
Depending on what was wrong with the relationship, make your decision.
An ex? A past?
Or a new boyfriend? And a future?
I can't choose for you.
15/m
I'm a freshmen this year at a new school. There is this girl in my English class i noticed today. This was the second day of school, and after lunch i noticed her while i was walking. I don't know her name or anything about her and i wanna get to know her, i wanna try being friends with her and see where that takes me. I have some friends that are girls i text them alot but in person i'm shy i've hung out with girls a couple times but i'm not really talkative with girls... im shy. So i was wondering if you guys have any ideas what i can do to help me out with this new girl and future girls and people.
Any help would be good!
Thanks! :)
Try to gain a little more self-confidence.
Girls like confident, secure guys, not shy boys.
That's going to be hard for you at your age, but that doesn't mean you should give up hope.
Get some exercise and fresh air. Exercising or playing sports can make you feel and look your best. Try it.
When you're talking to a girl, don't be over the top.
Girls don't like to be showered with excessive compliments, sincere or not. Even if she has beautiful eyes, you don't need to remind her every three seconds.
If you must compliment a girl, keep things light. Don't use words like beautiful, or sexy. Save that for when you've been together for a while. You can say she's cute, or adorable. You can even use the word pretty.
However, don't do the opposite and talk to her from a friend perspective. That will get you stuck in the friend zone.
Keep things light and funny. Get a sense of humor, if you don't already have one. Girls LOVE funny guys.
Seriously.
It's scientifically proven.
Good luck, and don't wait too long to say hi or she'll just get creeped out.
If you don't even know what to say, talk about English class. Ask her if you had homework for that class (even if you know you do). If there's a test coming up, offer to help her study. If you're absent, ask for her phone number to text her and see what you missed in class. Be creative.
We were learning in school about Native American Indians and what they believed before we took over the land and everything. I know from childhood they used to show Indians doing rain dances for their crops. My teacher was answering a question and said they really did do raindances to bring on the rain from the rain god or something. Maybe this is stupid and maybe it's not but do rain dances really cause it to rain? I don't get it.
No, you can't make it rain by dancing.
And neither could the Native Americans.
It's like prayer, or meditation. Sure, rain exists. But you can't make it magically appear, just like you can't pray for a new car and expect it to come out of thin air.
I had sex with my boyfriend and got pregnant, confirmed by 7 tests two months ago (yeah LOL i didnt wanna believe it). I have morning sickness sometimes but not too bad I don't think. Anyway I know Im going to start showing some time and get a big belly and dont want my parents to know I'm pregnant. I was thinking to tell them like right before I give birth and then they can't really be that mad because the baby will be coming so quickly then. How can I hide that I'm pregnant? I want to hide that I'm pregnant from my parents so I can't figure it out. They don't even know I had sex. Should I wear big sweatshirts and oversized hoodies? A girl at my school said it would work. I was also thinking of like trying to gain a bunch of weight so they think I'm just getting fat? help
You can't hide that you're pregnant.
Realize that inside of you is another human being.
That human being needs to be taken care of properly. It needs things like prenatal vitamins, things you can't take in secret.
If you wait until you're about to give birth to let your parents know you're pregnant, you're doing that baby a disservice.
It would be incredibly selfish of you to neglect that baby's health just so you don't get in trouble with your parents.
Did you stop and think about what you're going to do once the baby is born? Whether it will be healthy or not? What about the life that baby is going to have to live?
The least you can do is tell your parents, and then get all the necessary prenatal care.
If you give head to a guy at a party while your boyfriend is not there does that mean you cheated on your boyfriend? Yeah, the guy was really hot but it's not like we had sex or anything. I didn't even let him finger me! My boyfriend is really pissed and won't talk to me now but I really can't see his reasoning or point of view. I've done this a few times before but I haven't told him about it and regret telling him this time. Do you think giving a blow job is REALLY cheating? I mean, come on...it's like...kissing...sort of...I don't see a problem.
Oral sex is still sex.
Doing anything sexual with someone that is not your boyfriend or girlfriend is considered cheating, unless it was agreed upon beforehand that you and your partner would have an open relationship.
If a guy invites you to his party and the two of you aren't good friends, more like barely acquaintances, would you assume that he likes you if the guest list is only 20 people?
Don't assume he's attracted to you.
Do you think he likes the other people he invited?
Every single one of them?
No.
Of course not.
Don't interpret every nice gesture everyone does for you. You'll just end up deluding yourself.
Okay to start things off I am an 18 year old female.
Sorry this is long but i just don't know what to do.
So i cant really explain my emotions through text but here it goes. I dated this guy for 8 months. he took my virginity. we spent everysingle day together, we even spent nights together. i pretty much lived at his house. we became SUPER SUPER close and comfortable with eachother like best friends. we would take showers together. i would go pee while he brushed his teeth. i loved how close we were. i loved this boy with everything. all of my heart. and then the day before yesterday through text he tells me he just doesnt feel that spark anymore and broke up with me.
idk what to do with myself. i still love him so much. i feel so horrible to know i love him with everything and he doesnt want me back.
i had so much planned for us. i was looking forward to spending our first christmas together and halloween. we had actually told each other we were gonna be together forever and talked about in the future getting married and having kids. he told me i was the girl he wanted to marry.
i have never found someone to be as cute in my eyes as he was. i loved everything about his personality.
everyone says i will get over him but i just dont see how. i mean sure i see other cute guys but nobody compares.
im am so terrified i will not get over him and i will be unhappy forever.
i understand im young and you all probably believe that i dont understand what love is but i do i promise you i do.
so i guess what im asking is how can i get over this? has anyone ever thought a break up was the end of the world, but got over it and now is in a happy relationship where they love the guy more?
i feel so horrible and not good enough. i just want to curl up into a ball and rot away.
You lost your virginity to him.
Of course you're going to feel very attached to him.
That's not to say you'll never get over him.
You can't speed up your recovery.
All you can do is suck it up and get on with your life.
Get outside and get some fresh air. Busy yourself with your friends or with schoolwork, even a sport you like to play or a hobby.
Don't dwell on this boy. That will only make things worse for yourself.
I have really bad stomach aches when I'm on my period, and I mean like agony, keeling over kind of thing. I have tried taking paracetamol and that does nothing. Ibroprofen works, but Its stong and I'm afraid I take too many and will overdose. I also sometimes take them when i'm tired or stressed to deal with tension headaches. I can't deal with the stomach agony anymore anyone got any ideas how to help me???
Follow the dosing instructions on the bottle of Ibuprofen and you won't overdose.
Exercising helps some girls, but exacerbates the pain in others. It's worth a try.
The pain is caused by contractions of the uterus. Applying a heating pad can lessen the pain.
What do you if some of your best friends ask you out? And there is more then one friend too.
Accept if the feeling's mutual.
If not, be honest.
16/f
hi. so for an assignment we have to make a sentnce with the word minute as an adjective
meaning very small. can someone help? i do not copy work, i just need ideas. thanks.
I am minutely talented in composing sentences.