Hey :-) I'm Claire. This may be a new column, but I've been an advicenator for a while now (I got a new column for the new year) and am experienced at answering your questions! I love helping people and will try my very best to solve your problems. Feel free to ask me anything and make sure to let me know how everything turns out for you xxx :-P
Gender: Female
Location: Scotland
Occupation: Student/Odeon Team Member
Age: 16
Member Since: January 31, 2006
Answers: 52
Last Update: June 7, 2006
Visitors: 4144
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Love Life
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lol, i know im goin overboard with the budgie questions, but im just curious. lo.. so i bought a wonderful new budgie y'day, yellow and green 1, which is a male. now im wandering if i have 3 males in the cage. now i know ive asked you before but the 1 im unsure about has rich blue at the top, and then more rich blue at the bottom-but only a bit-, and then in the middle it has a couple spots of brown, and pink. what sex is it? and remember i asked you about the vet, and if they can tell me the sex and how to clip the toenails, well will it be expensive or cheap? also, im wandering the age of the budgies, now people have said , chek the lines on the forehead, but my budgies only have lines where a persons hair would be. is that where i should check? and the woman at the pet shop said that the 1nz in the big cage are all 2-3months old. do you think they are lying, because, what do they do with the 1nz they dnt sell??? thanx:) (link)
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Hey, soz its taken so long for me to get back to you, have been having internet issues lol. I've decided that you should go to the vet, i think its came to the stage where you need an expert. You have so many questions and I think the only person who will properly be able to answer them for you will be your vet as they will be able to see them, instead of me just guessing :). As for the price, phone and check around. I don't imagine it will be too much as you are not asking for anything to be done, just advice.
Good luck, hope it doesn't cost too much. However if you dont want to do this, I'm still here for anything you want to know and I will try my very best to answer them for you :) and I do think that one is a male because the blue is a rich one and not a light blue as typical to young females.
That is where you should check for the lines, where a persons hair should be. That pet shop person is talking rubbish!! lol, the more lines there are, the younger the budgie. As they get older, these lines fade. It is difficult however to determine exact age. What she says may be true, usually pet shops will get a bulk of the same age at the one time. As for the older ones, I'm afraid I have no idea :)
Hope this has helped xxx
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my boyfriend of 8 months has such a thick head! i mean he wont do anything inless i grip at him.... he even says so his self...like my dad is a stricked parent i mean im his only girl so i can see his point but my dad likes to know when my boyfriend comes down because my boyfriend lives a hour away...well anyways my dad likes to know at least a week in advance when my boyfriend comes down to see me ...well he wont do it inless i yell at him...what do i do about it? just yell at him everytime i want something done? (link)
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To be honest, and I know you've been going out a while, I dont think this guy is worth your time. If he truly loved you he wouldnt mind doing anything for you and he'd be desperate to see you, there would be no need whatsoever for you to beg him to do something. I was able to tell time was up in my relationship when my boyfriend started making excuses or couldnt be bothered. I think you need to have a heart to heart with him and make sure he still wants to be in this relationship. If he says yes, then tell him that he needs to show you tons more respect and care from now on or he is chucked!!!
If he says no or doesnt seem that bothered by this threat, get rid of him. No matter how much you love him, there are plenty of guys out there who would treat you so much better than this and be desperate to spend every waking moment with you, treating you like a princess. Don't put up with this any longer if he is not willing to put a lot more effort into making it work.
Good luck hunni, sorry this wasnt happy advice
Sapphire Lily xxx
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well, i have been having bad luck lately, and i dont know why, because last year i could basically go after anybody that i had wanted to go after, and had achieved what i had been wanting almost every time. this year is way different, because i have had only one, and that is crazy.
I dunno why, but i have had quite a few turn downs lately!
Heather (link)
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Okay, this could be for a number of reasons. The more guys you date, the higher your status amongst them. Therefore, perhaps the guys are now starting to feel intimidated by you and feel they couldnt match up to the standards of the other guys you've dated or what you expect from guys in general, determined by what you've been able to get before.
Also, you may have created a reputation for yourself of being a player or (im really sorry to say it) a slut if you have went out with lots of people as your question kind of implys. This would put off other guys from dating you.
What I'd suggest you do is play it down for a while. Don't be as flirty and dont try to go after anyone in particular. Concentrate on yourself and having a laugh with your friends. Then in time guys will see what a great person you are and you'll have the male attention again, just try not to let it get to your head and end up in the same situation as before.
Hope this helped, good luck
Sapphire Lily xxx
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hi agen:) i was just wandring, if i should buy some other containers for the food. i got 4 container things, that u put on the cage, on the outside, and inside, the stand on these horizontal things, like mini perches which are attached to the containers. now they dont know what they are, and only eat from the seeds i put on the floor, is this becasue they dont know what it is, because ive only had them for a week, or is it because they dont want to use them? sould i buy some other containers for the food :) (link)
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Its just that they are not used to them. They will learn in time, only however if you stop giving them seeds on the floor. It is what they are used to and they will continue to do so if you dont stop. What I'd recommend is that you gradually decrease the amount of seed that you are putting on the floor and place a colourful new toy like a mini budgie beside one of the containers to attract them to it. Eventually they will start eating from there and then you'll be able to stop the seed on the floor completely.
I've learned that budgies are creatures of habit, you just have to break them out of it xxx
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okay this might be long but if it is sorry .. this one boy lets call him "guy a" has liked me on an off and at my party we did stuff and im not sure if he likes me any more hes always surronded by girls cus hes the hottest guy in school well another guy "guy b" likes me and he has a girlfriend well weve messed around alot and i really like guy a but i dont know how to talk to him and what should i do about guy b? (link)
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Do nothing with both of them. I sorry if this isnt something you want to hear, but guy a sounds like a player who is just going to end up hurting + using you and guy b has a girlfriend so unless you want to be labelled a slut + find yourself severely lacking in friends leave him be! Sorry but that is the way I see it.
You deserve a guy who will love, respect and treat you right. Please wait for him to come, because none of these guys fit the profile.
Sapphire Lily xxx
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My two best friends and I are very close and stuff like that. We're never apart or amost never apart. but recently Dime..one of my friends... is paying more attention and hanging out with Charlie more(a girl by the way so are dime and me) but Charlie spend more time with me. then when Charlie is away and it's just me and Dime she sticks to me...and she acts normal with me and diff with Charlie. what should I do? (link)
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Be careful, thats what you should do. Jealousy tears apart friendships, believe me I know. Perhaps if Charlie spends more time with you, Dime is jealous of this and is trying to push her way into your group. I'd suggest perhaps going out with Charlie and inviting her too. See how you get on with just the three of you.
If she is still weird, perhaps mention it to Charlie and see what she thinks of the situation. Confronting Dime directly would probably not help matters, she'd probably just deny it all. Get Charlie to speak to her about it if you can.
Other than that, good luck
Sapphire Lily xxx
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lol. thanx for the awesome advice:) and i really do think that the white bird is female. its kind of fatter, and has smaller eyes, and doesnt whistle as much if that helps in determining the sex. oh and if i take it to the vet, can he tell me the sex, age , and how to clip toe-nails? if so, how much will the service cost, or will it be free? thanx:) (link)
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Your welcome :) Yes, it does sound female, the males are generally more vocal. The vet should be able to tell you the sex, a rough age and definetely how to clip toe-nails. However this will cost you money, I'm unsure as to how much (sorry). I'm afraid we got ours from a specialist breeder who happened to be a friend as well so we got all our information from him.
Alternatively, you could go back to the pet shop to ask them, buy a book telling you about how to look after budgies which will show you in it or find someone close by that keeps budgies as well.
As for clipping the toe-nails, its easy once you've been shown how. I'd also recommend you get sanded coverings for the plastic perches you have in the cage. These help wear their claws down so you have to do it less often. Also, when clipping its toe-nails, keep one of its toys in front of it to preoccupy it, this will make the whole process much easier for both of you.
xxx
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thanx for the good advice. i dont know how old the budgy is, because i got it frm a pet shop. we picked the 1 we wanted, he went in with a black fabric bad, and caught it and put it in a box.
as for the wrinkles. i cnt reely see, becuase its still a bit nervous around me, so i cnt get to close without it jumping, but it does look like when u make points with a knife in clay, they might be wrinkles, but im not sure. and today i realised that she/he lifts its wings to antone it sees through the window, or for no reason as well as to the bird.
sorry if im overloading you with info, i just would like to know more about the new family members:) (link)
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Lol. I think you'll just have to wait and see about your other budgie. Wait until it trusts you more so that you can get a closer look as right now it would only be a guess.
If your budgie lifts its wings often and to anything, then that is it just stretching its wings. They do it just like we would shrug lol. It's they're substitute for not being able to fly as often as they would in the wild. Wait till they start flapping them wildly, they're feathers go EVERYWHERE!!!!
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I fell lost. Dont know how to start a new life alone. I do not have any skills not good at really anything. My heart is broken. What can I do too make it stop and find a direction? (link)
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A broken heart isn't something you can stop just like that, but it is something that goes away in time. In order to get over it, you need to face it and that is why I think you should think of all the GOOD times in your relationship, look at photos and write about it as a diary of sorts. Have a good cry about it if you haven't already. Then take a long bath, candles, mags, chocs n all! Try hard not to think of your relationship as you lie there.
Then as your drying your hair, think of the negative things about your relationship. Think about them in the way that this guy has been a total arsehole to you (even if its just the fact that he has dumped you!) and get angry. While getting yourself all dolled up, dance and sing to some really feel good songs. I recommend Kelly Clarkson, Since you've been gone (is working for me). Then go for a night out with your friends, go to clubs or a restaurant and flaunt to all those men out there why you are so great!
The day after, try to keep your good vibes. Think of all the things you enjoy and try to do as many of them as possible. Now would be the time to start something new, such as a martial art, which would not only give you something to concentrate on but would be a symbol of your new life. As for your skills, look to your friends to help you discover something that is for you. Friends are always more able to recognise our strong points than ourselves and can help you find a new path, if not that at least the support you need right now.
Its just an idea, but I hope I helped somewhat. I've just split with my boyfriend so I know to a small extent what your feeling. Good luck hunni
Sapphire Lily xxx
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thanx for the advice. but today i looked closer, and the cere is a blueish colour. it has spots of brown and a tich of pink in it. do you think it is still female? oh and the 1 that we are discussing, keeps showing "under its wings" to the male, and they keep following each other. what does it mean? thanks if you can answer the question. (link)
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It is difficult to say, it would be easier to tell if I knew how old your budgies are. When young, the male cere is a pinkish colour and the felmale cere a whitish-blue. As they grow older, the male turns to blue and the female to brown. Considering this, I suspect your other budgie may be male if its cere is blue and contains a tinge of pink. However there is one more test: look closely at the cere and see if there are any wrinkles in it. If there are, then your budgie is definetely female, if not its male.
As for the wing action, it definetely sounds like an action to attract a mate. They may be wanting to breed. If your budgie does turn out to be female and she is wanting to breed, the wrinkles will be especially prominent. If they turn out to be both male, it could just be an act of bonding.
Hope this helped
Sapphire Lily xxx
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ok well i just brought two budgies, and i think i know the sex of one, because the area outside of the beak is a rich blue. ive read websites and books and it tells me rich blue is male. the other budgie has a bluey brownish colour. is that male or female??? (link)
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Yes it is female, I have budgies myself and brownish colour is for females.
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Ok so im 15/f and my gets on my nerves alot. She is always flirting with my boyfriend. Her boyfriend moved about a month ago. But when her bf was here she was always yelling at me because i was so called flirting with her boyfriend. My other friends ask me if it seems like my friend is trying to "steal" my boyfriend. So i was wondering if there are any quotes that you guys could give me on just basically telling her to stop flirting and stuff and it gets me mad. So if there are any quotes please let me know. (link)
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This is happening to me at the moment and it is driving me nuts!!!! Ones I've tried are:
"Honey I love you, but if you dont get your hands off my boyfriend I'm going to hack them off"
"I know you like it rough, but get your own boyfriend for it"
Lame I know, but they worked for one of my friends. The other is harder to deter. At the end of the day, your just going to have to speak to her if she doesnt stop. It will be super tough but I think you should go for it. I am going to do this too. Just lay out the facts and tell them how much it hurts you what they are doing. Resort to threats only as a final option if all that comes before doesnt work
Very good luck hunni
Sapphire Lily xxx
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Okay, this is a really weird question but is there a pulse in your stomach? Because when I like hold my hand over it I can like feel something... like a heartbeat but there's not a heart in your stomach. If anyone knows what I'm talking about I will rate!! Thanks. (link)
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Well yeah, it could be your pulse or you just feeling your heart beat from above. However it could be your actual stomach, though I am not sure if you are supposed to feel that. When we digest our food, the stomach contracts and relaxes in order to mix the food with the digestive juices of the stomach. Could be that, as it would probably feel as if it was pulsating.
Lol, sorry, just figured I would give another suggestion
Sapphire Lily xxx
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hey i have a bit of a problem. When my mom met my boyfriend about two to three weeks ago, she told me after he left that she thinks he looks dirty( his clothes look dirty, his hair, ect). I looked at my boyfriend this morning and i see what she means. i love my boyfriend, dont get me wrong but he looks like he doesnt brush his teeth, his hair was a mess, he had stuff in his eyes and a stain on his shirt. (Just to let you know, we go to a private school which requires us to wear a uniform). At times, he smells too. I dont know how to tell him with out sounding mean or rude. Is there any way to say something about it?
another thing is, i notice how in class today, he sits right next to me in both the classes we have together, that about half of the time, he will talk to my friend that sits right next to him and he is always hugging other girls and calling them "sexy". this kinda gets me mad/jealous. I dont know how to tell him with out sounding like...annoying. Most of the times when we are hanging out in the morning, i will be talking to him and one of his friends will walk by and he will go and talk to them. What should i say to him about it? I hate getting ditched like that.
Thanks! (link)
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To be honest, hunni, I dont think this guy if worth it. Sure you can talk to him all you want about these problems, but at the end to the day if there are a number of things that are wrong he may not be worth the trouble even if you do love him. I mean, if he truly valued you, he would not ditch you at a moments notice or be outrageously flirty with other girls. Its just my opinion, but that is something that you should definetly not put up with. Chances are even if you did talk to him, he may just continue doing it or use it against you to bribe you into doing things that you may not want to do.
Im sorry to be the bringer of bad news but thats just how I feel about it. You deserve so much better! Good luck in whatever you decide to do
Sapphire Lily xxx
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I love this song. It makes me think about my crush and I start crying. But I really don't know the meaning of the lyrics. Will you help me?
Cause you had a bad day-
You're taking one down-
You sing a sad song just to turn it around-
You say you don't know-
You tell me don't lie-
You work at a smile and you go for a ride-
You had a bad day-
The camera don't lie-
You're coming back down and you really don't mind-
You had a bad day-
You had a bad day-
I added a dash (-) jsut put what it means right after the dash if u can :)
Thanks SOOO MUCH
(link)
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Cause you had a bad day- self explanatory, maybe it makes you think of times when your crush has ignored you/flirted with someone else/been nasty to you
You're taking one down- your not going to pretend to be happy, your want to mope about it
You sing a sad song just to turn it around- you know, the whole if you sing a sad song and have a good cry it always makes you feel better and ready to face the world again
You say you don't know- when people try to say they know how your feeling, you tell them that they don't because you think they could never have felt as low as you feel now (which isn't true, we all get the boy sadness :-)
You tell me don't lie- they try to cheer you up by saying that the pair of you will become a couple one day but you just can't see it
You work at a smile and you go for a ride- you try to cheer yourself up a bit
You had a bad day- your starting to see it for what it is, just a bad day, not the end of the world
The camera don't lie- you can't fake it or pretend it didn't happen
You're coming back down and you really don't mind-you were perhaps on a high before about the way you were with your crush and then the bad day happened, but now your returning to normal and you've had your day of sadness. That's okay with you because its given you a fresh perspective
You had a bad day-You did have a bad day
You had a bad day- But that's okay because that's all it was, a bad day and things will get better again
There you go, my interpretation of a good song. I always sing this when I'm low, but that's because it always makes me feel better, not want to cry. Perhaps you cry at it because you feel you and your crush aren't getting anywhere at the moment, are having a lot of bad days. You may have to do some soulsearching on that one yourself and work out why it makes you cry. Don't worry, it may just be a phase and it will pass.
Remember, this is supposed to be a song to cheer you up, so learn to smile and dance to it. It really does make you feel better on a rainy day. Hope I helped
Sapphire Lily xxx
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I've been really depressed the last couple of days because a guy that was a really close friend of mine who moved a couple of months ago has never contacted me. I tried phoning him on his cell the other day and was told it was disconnected. He never sends me emails, and when I send him emails they get returned. So I think he's changed his address and never told me.
I don't understand why he would do this to me. Before he left we gave each other a big hug. I gave him a friendship candle and he said he would always think of me everytime he looked at it. He also gave me his computer before he left.
Other people I have talked to said he is either having financial problems or met a new girl. But why wouldnt he have told me this instead of having me worry? Does anyone have any ideas why he hasnt contacted me? (link)
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It could be those reasons, however it could be that he's just been rushed off his feet and hasn't had the time to contact you yet. Perhaps he is waiting until he has settled in so that he can give you a complete report of how the move went.
However, if he is having financial problems, maybe he hasn't contacted you because he doesn't want to admit that he is failing in his new place. Or perhaps he misses you so much that its hard to call you because that just re-emphasizes the distance between you.
This is all just speculation of course and to be honest I really don't think you should worry about this, it's probably just a simple reason and he will phone you as soon as he can. I know it is difficult to stop yourself, but there is no point in worrying yourself silly over why he hasn't contacted you when you have no idea what's going on. Trust me, if you two are as close as you say you are, then he will contact you and I'm sure he'll be able to give you a very good reason for why he hasn't did it before.
Be strong
Sapphire Lily xxx
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im very lost,i lost my self!what are some ways to become original? some how i just dont feel like i am me... (link)
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I think its fitting that you put this as a friendship question because they are the people that can help you in this. Confide in one of your closest friends about this problem (it is so much better than worrying alone, trust me. If they are a true friend they will try to help you all you can) and together make up a list of your key traits and your likes/dislikes such as what to do in your spare time or . That way, you will be reminded of who you are at the moment. Then choose some of your likes and devote a weekend to them, just celebrating things that make you happy.
Then if you wish to be original, i say go mad. Get your hair dyed and cut a different way, go on a shopping trip buying things that you normally wouldnt go for, try something that you've never done before like a martial art. Just have fun and relearn that life is for living, don't get down about it, party it out of your system. Whenever I feel down, I have a mental dancing session for about 20 mins to help me feel better.
Smile, everyone feels like this at some point. It will pass I promise. Maybe looking towards the future may help as well, such as looking at university brochures, etc.
Good luck
Sapphire Lily xxx
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How do i switch all my ipod to my library in my new computer without deleteing any? and how do i add music 2 the ipod without deleting any music on the ipod???
PLEASE HELP ME (link)
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well, i dont know how the person below got that to work but when my friend did it, the new computer wiped her entire ipod. It may just have been something stupid she did, but I think just to be on the safe side you should consult the actual ipod people on this just in case you end up with a blank ipod cos that would be a right pain
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My mom is making me get braces soon and i think i have a choice of colors. What color would you pick and why?
Thanks (link)
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Well I have grey and they do actually look nice while not standing out and that way you know your braces will never clash with what your wearing(lol sounds so dum but they do!). However I got a dark blue a couple of months back and people kept telling me how funky they looked. So you know, if you dont want people to comment on them stick to grey but change is good sometimes and it feels good to stand out and be noticed with a brighter colour, like an extra accessory.
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I'm really troubled by the way a close friend of mine seems to be compromising her values for her boyfriend. She has always been really strongly against illegal drugs of any kind. And her boyfriend uses drugs. I think it's just pot, not anything harder (though I'm not sure), and he's not a serious addict or anything, but that's still enough to bother her a ton. Even worse is his attitude about it. She complained that him using drugs made her uncomfortable, and then the next time he was going to a party, he told her that he wanted her to come along only if she promised to "behave" (that's the exact word he used) and not complain at all. She's told him that this bothers her, but she also keeps making excuses for him, and won't stand up for herself.
I really want to discuss this with her, try to pump up her self-esteem and encourage her to stick up for herself and her values -- except for two problems. One is that she and I used to date, and she knows that I still like her, so I'm worried that she'll think I'm just trying to break up her relationship. The other is that I found out most of this stuff by snooping around. I only did that because I was worried about her, but it was still wrong, and I'm sure she'll still be mad if she finds out.
So even though she needs help, I don't think I can say anything -- I just have to let her figure it out herself, even if that means she'll get hurt. Am I right about that? Is there anything I could do (maybe something a lot more subtle than bringing up the topic directly)? (link)
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You have to do something and stop her from getting dragged into the world of drugs herself. Perhaps you should introduce her to me, lol, I'm very against drugs.
Your right, speaking to her yourself may just cause her to turn on you and that would be the worst thing as if you cannot stop her, at least you can be there to catch her when she 'falls'. What I would recommend is to speak to one of her close girlfriends and have them talk to her about it. That way she may pay attention more as it is someone who she would not suspect of wanting to break up her relationship. Have them remind her how much she is against drugs and maybe even stick in the fact that dating soemone who is for something you are so against is a bad thing.
Perhaps he isn't worth saving, but maybe have the girl remind her that a strong attitude against it may even bring her bf off it. I know this will sound like I'm bragging so I apologise, but last month I was not only able to prevent my bf and best friend from trying it, my attitude towards it and to people taking it has persuaded one of my other friends to come off it.
If you care for her as much as I think you do, you have to do something to help save her from this, no matter what the consequences are for you.
If all else fails, be there for her and help her whenever you can. Maybe eventually this will help her see the light and how a guy should treat a girl.
I hope things turn out okay, let me know what happens
Sapphire Lily xxxx
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