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London, UK

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Age:

18

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June 3, 2005

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September 26, 2009

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I'm a 19 yr old mainly agnostic ex philosophy student with rather strong views about a lot of things. I'm very liberal, love the diversity I live in in London and hate that America hasn't separated church from state.
I'm engaged to the love of my life, but agree it is a little bizarre to get engaged at 18.
I'm confident, quite literally crazy, caring and crippled. My manual wheelchair is called Sebastian and he gets scared when he goes too fast, my electric is called Jermaine (after the Flight of the Conchords character) and he really does not like ice.
I can read Braille and I know basic sign language because I believe everyone should be given equal chances. I dislike it that money doesn't have Braille on it.
I'll do my best to help out with your situations, I've been in and seen many a family conflict, I've had my fair share or love life crises, I've had about every illness known to man (could tell you a lot of amusing stories about psychiatric wards) and I'm "The Queen of Hair Dye" so hopefully I'll have some idea about advice. If it looks like I don't give lots of advice, it's because I only advise on things I know about. I also detest poor spelling and grammar so although having dyslexia makes me a bit hypocritical about this.

advice

i hurt my wrist and they couldnt tell if i dislocated it and got it back in place or something or just messed up the joint but they put a cast on it and i was wondering if i could put a sling on it to like take the weight off it..the cast is kinda pulling on the wrist.
thanks

Yes you probably can, although be warey of pulling at your shoulders too much. If you start to get shoulder pain while wearing the sling, take it off, try repositioning but if it is reccurent, go to the doctor and ask if they can give you a support specifically for this problem.
Hope it heals soon!

I have severe joint and muscle pain all over my body, what is this?
No other symptoms of a cold or anything else.

If its recent and only been a few days I would say its most likely just a virus or something and it will go away. If it has been longer than that, think about the ammount of excersize you have been doing or conversely, if you have been sitting/laying around doing nothing this can make your joints hurt.

If it has been going on for a while and steadily getting worse I would go to the doctor as this could indicate an underlying problem, but if you are young its fairly unlikely so don't worry about it too much.

I have chronic joint pain due to a genetic condition and the things I find really helpful for my joint pain are:
Anti-inflamatory medications (ie ibuprofen, although DO NOT take this for more than a week without speaking to your doctor about the causes of the pain)
Deep Heat rub, its really soothing.
However what I find most useful is to have a hot/warm bath and soak for a while. The heat is very good for reducing inflamation and makes you feel so much better.

If this pain lasts for more than a week and a half I would say go to the doctor about it just to let them know whats going on if nothing else, its probably just a virus but they might want to check you out for something else.

Take care, if you need anything else I'm an expert on joint pain so send me a message xx

You know those games like.. johhny johhn johhny johhny whoop johhny whoop.
There is one that goes.
I have the hat, I pass the hat to April, April spins the hat on her finger then passes the hat to Ben, who has the hat? and you can say whatever you want, but there is always a specific person who has the hat.
Does anyone know the rules to know who will have the hat.

You have the hat.
The rules as I have found them are as follows:
Everyone sits in a circle, and name a person to begin with. This person you have named, tells a story about a hat.
e.g. I have a hat, but the wind blows it off my head. A frog catches it and swims to the bottom of the lake where he gives it to a fish.
Then the storyteller asks "Who has the hat?"
Most people will say "THE FISH" but the real answer is the first person who speaks.
e.g. someone coughs, so they are the person with the hat.

I'm assuming there are regonal rules, theres a game like that that I play were its the first person to speak who has the hat or whatever,
but I hope that helps!

I live in London 2 by the way!! Eneyway I was dating this guy for a year and we got on so well and he said he really loves me and wants to be with me forever about a month ago he dumps me he said me being mixed raced confuses things to much for him he is white and he said he cant get to serious with me but he still loves me! I dont understand what he means unless I am weird nd I still love him so much and am lost.

I understand that you love him still, but don't understand how he can say he loves you then be so racist. I know how horrid it is when you have to leave someone you love but you should have more courage and self respect than to stay or bother with someone, however much you love them, that has views on race like that. To me, race has nothing to do with anything anymore, apart from residual culture etc. It sounds like a lame excuse to me and you deserve better than that. If he wants to know whats going on, tell him that those race comments are completely inaproppriate and that you are worth better than him.
Need anything else let me know xx

So I have been diagnosed with a thyroid problem. I had to quit cheering, and I have been taking my medicane. They told me it shrunk a little. But having this worries me to death!! I balled my eyes out the first day they told me, because I had to quit and the things they told me about it.
But im just worried out of my mind that it will get worse, they told me I could have a heart attack.
Also they said " my body thinks its running a 24 hr marathon." Thats how fast my heart is beating.. and how it tells me to eat eat, eat. Don't sleep. Ect. I gained alot of weight! I also get all emotional about it when its brought up! I feel so lame, but I dont know what to do..
:(
Im not sure what the question is, but does anyone have any.. past with it? Or any tips about it?

Thanks! xox

PS. No sites please, unless its like very helpful :p

I've never had a tyroid problem as a primary symptom but I have had similar effects from side effects of the medication for the condition I do have.
It sounds like you weren't expecting any kind of illness, like you had been fairly healthy untill this, and even not, its still a shock to know it isn't going to ever dissapear.
I was 18 when I was diagnosed with a genetic condition after having serious medical problems for over a year, spent over a year on morphine and other drugs basically to keep me alive. I too am very susseptible to heart attacks and had to stop doing things I loved most.
What I can say about having a condition is that I was very very shocked and emotional about it at the beginning, perfectly reasonably like you, you shouldnt feel lame or stupid about it at all, it is a big thing and no-one is going to expect you to take it on the chin! However, over time, the shock wears off. I'm not happy with my body doing this but it becomes a fact of life. You'll find other ways to do things or to become involved in the things you like doing. For example, instead of cheering you could do choreography of it instead?
The thing with thyroid problems is that they know whats happening, they know why its happening and there is a huge ammount they can do to stop it happening. Medicine takes time to work and its great they've seen an improvement already. However there are always other options, they could remove it and give you thyroid suppliments. A friend of mine had the same condition as you and had her thyroid out at 11, she lives a completely normal life now, just takes her meds everyday and shes fine. Im not saying that to rub it in your face, just to say that it can get better, and if it gets worse there is so much they can do about it. Also if you do happen to have a heart attack, if they know you are at risk, theres a lot less of a chance of anything bad happening long term with your heart, the drugs they can give you can minimise the damage significantly. My uncle was at risk, had a heart attack at 42, and 10 weeks on is doing really well and back to his stressful job and loving it.
I know how hard it is when you're being told you can't do things you want to, but you do find ways to make it better, you need to give yourself time, let yourself be ill and let your body give itself time to recover, or get used to it at least and do not feel stupid for getting upset. Its the most natural and most healthy thing to do!
If you want to speak anymore, don't hesitate to send me a message.
Take care xx

ok so im having difficulty finding my bra size. My measurments are (in inches, measured using a tape measure):

Frame Size (under breasts) = 28
Around Chest (around breasts) = 32 or 33

According to my measurments, some websites say im a b, some say im a c, some say d. so im really confused. ive been wearing a 34 b for years, and havnt measured till now. Can anyone help? Thanks!
(im 15 years old, btw, if it helps)

I would say go to a bra shop and get measured. Remember that the back part should be tighter than you think, I would say try a 32c if the cup size is fine on the 34b, as the back measurements should be 4 or 5 inches more than the frame size.
Always fit the bra on the loosest hook, so that over time when the elastic weakens it can be tightened. Remember that the breasts are meant to be supported by the chest, not hung on the shoulders.
Hope you find a comfortable one!

What is this song. Its sung by an Irish sounding girl. Here are some of the lyrics..."Intelligent input darling why dont you just have another beer than". If anyone knows the name of this song that would be great. Thanks!

Yep its Foundations by Kate Nash, from the album Made of Bricks.
She's not irish by the way, she's from north london. Lives near me.

So i have this short purple dress and i have two questions.

1. How should i do my eyes? They are brown and i have brown/blonde hair.

2. I want my legs too look amazing without pantyhose so. Winterball is on Saturday, so what should i do? i also have these like red bumps on my legs that never go away. So how do i make them go away.

1: I would do a purple sweep with dark grey in the corners, this will make your eyes look really big. If you dont want to go as a dark as a dark grey, do a light purple sweep with dark purple in the corners. Black eyeliner and mascara if you have any black accessories, if not, dark brown.

2: Exoliate them, see if that does any good, if not my trick is to buy a cheap foundation and cover my legs in that, covers up the blotchy ness a dream.
Hope that helps and winterball goes well!

ok i have two questions here:

one: i have a bladder infection. it hurts soooo badly. not only in my stomach, but also "down there" every time i go to pee. -.-'' WHEN WILL THIS END?!?!! i went to the doctor today and they gave me these pills but so far, i only feel better for a short time and then start feeling like shit again. so yeah. someone know when this will go away? please tell me. im dying.

second: my boyfriends mom asked him if we have been having sex because she says you can get bladder infections if you have sex too much. and he and i had sex 2 times the other day, and then once the next day. we're pretty sexually active. i dont think 3 times in two days is too much, but if i DID get my bladder infection from that, how can i prevent this from happening again? and dont tell me to not have sex, because we use protection every time. so just tell me how i could not get a bladder infection, but still have sex with my boyfriend?

thanks so much. if you only know the answer to one, go ahead and answer. you dont have to know both to answer. :)

If that other person thinks they've been working in the medical field for 15 years and doesn't know bladder infections can be caused or encouraged by sex then I'm very glad I haven't encountered them when I've been ill.

Some people are more susseptable to bladder infections and the vigarous movement during sex can move around bacteria which can get into the urethra, causing the infection.

I've had some awful bladder infections spreading to kidneys and ended up in hospital etc and i know how much agony it is and things that I have found helpful while the antibiotics are taking their time to kick in is drinking a lot of cranberry juice (try to get the ones with least sugar so you don't mess up your teeth!). This has some antibacterial properties in it and calms the burning sensation. You can also get over the counter cystitis remedies which basically consist of a lot of salt which neutralises the acid in your pee which is causing it to burn.

Hot/warm baths are also very soothing, i know it sounds a bit icky but you can pee in the bath, it soothes the burning as you're peeing and the hot water soothes the pain in your stomach and back. Just remember to rinse off afterwards.

As for preventing future bladder infections, keep good hygene down there and try to go to the toilet after sex to wash away any bacteria that might be trying to spread into your bladder. Use lube and make sure he is keeping good hygene too.

Hope you feel better soon and remember, if you start getting pain at the sides of your lower back, you should go back to the doctor to check it hasn't spread to your kidneys.

America did separate church and state. It's kind of part of the first amendment...

You know, freedom of religion, and all that...

Yeah but really though? A lot of your laws and views held by politicians (admittedly i am talking about the republicans) about homosexuality, abortion etc are are entirely ruled by christian ideas, rather than a philosophical or general ethical ideas.

I understand that a major percentage of americans are Christian, but surely their beliefs shouldn't govern the rights of others.

I so envy you for living in London. Beautiful city. I would love to live there someday. :)

A lot of it isn't really that beautiful, although some of it is very impressive.
Very expensive to live in though.

I do not want this earth anymore, i want to go, i do not belong here, I do not like pain, so i have to do it painless.

I just wanted to say that the person who was telling you to snap out of it is obviously a cunt and you should ignore what they are saying.

You cannot be expected to 'snap out' of depressed feelings and suicidal urges. I have spent the last month in a psychiatric ward for these exact things and I know how horrible it is. I also know, through frequent attempted suicides that it does not work. It invariably leaves you worse off and feeling like an idiot for trying. There is no way to force yourself to die pain free. Even lethal injections aren't pain free.

What I'm saying is that while I really do understand how you feel not wanting to be alive anymore because of how horrible it is, suicide is not an escape from this. Sadly, the only way out is much longer and more tiring. It's to get treated for depression. Go to a doctor, tell them how you are feeling, tell them the urges, tell them why you dont want to live. If nothing else, if they agree with you, they could help you die but i doubt they will. They will give you meds, or therapy that will make you not have these feelings and to feel good about yourself. It may not seem what you want or need at the moment but suicide is not either.

Please, go to the doctor, I do understand how hard it is but its the only way to improve your situation.

Ok so I recently got accepted to go to Japan (My life long goal) and I got everything I wanted for x-mas and my birthday, pluss more.
I also have a loving family, and great friends, and I must say that even though my life can seem like it sucks sometimes its actually pretty good.

But the thing is, I don't feel happy about it. I feel... Empty. Its really weird like I feel hollow and guilty and this weird weight on my heart.
Its like... Now that I have everything I want, I feel like there is nothing else for me to... I dunno, get or live.
Its such a weird feeling. Especially that sometimes when I lay in bed at night I feel so guilty and empty (especially guilty) that I cant fall asleep or think about anything else.

I always thought I was the only person who felt like this, until I met someone online who felt the exact same as me.
So we are wondering if this is a mental illness that we've never heard of or if its a normal thing, a serious thing or a rare thing that we'll get over?
Please help :/

It sounds like you may have depression, which is a type of mental illness, but is usually not described as such until it is very severe. 1 in 5 people or so are diagnosed with depression at some point in their life, and many people experience it to some extent in their teens due to hormonal and physical changes to brain structure during this stage.

Depression can be controlled by anti depressent medication or talking therapies such as Cognative behavioural therapy and psycotherapy, some can take a long time to pass and some will pass within weeks. I would strongly suggest that if you are having symptoms to the point it disrupts your life, (this could be through not interacting in a way which you would like to with people, sleep difficulties, try google for other symptoms) and if you have any thoughts of self harm or suicide that you go to your doctor and explain your feelings to them. They will decide the best course of action which could be therapies I have spoken about or they may decide just to moniter you, however being able to put a name to why you are feeling like you are may help.

So in short, it isn't unusual to have episodes like this but it doesnt make it any less distressing. Go to your doctor if it has been going on for more than 3 to 4 weeks.

I hope it improves for you, i know how horrible depression is.

I cant really get my hands on any KY jelly, so what are some other lubes I can use to give a hand job?

Vaseline works quite well but baby oil is the best really, i prefer it to ky jelly even.

Anybody know any songs about missing a past relationship?

Lily Allen -Littlest things
Its a good song.

(16/f) I have an uneven skin tone, and my face just doesn't glow. Does anyone have any ideas on products/makeup tips i can use to help this? Thank you.

The best product to make you GLOW is from boots(thats in the uk, if you are american im not sure theres an equivilent) in their essentials range called "radience balm" which has light reflecting particals in it which make you look glowwy rather than shiny or matt(and as a bonus, its only about £2). Also get a face highlighter, these are shimmery things that are in flesh tone or slightly pinker and apply over cheekbones and under eyebrows. You'll have that airbrushed/natural beauty glow look in no time!

I don't know whats wrong with me. I have a great relationship, with a wonderful guy, a rare guy who is sweet, loving and considerate. So why am i worring so much? I constantly think about him dumping me, or him getting bored, or me getting bored, missing out on other guys. But you see i know that im only a sophmore, and have plenty of time to have fun and date, and i know im probably just takeing everthing to serious like i tend to do. I worry about our future, if he's loosing interest, if im falling out of love. I care alot about him, and i dont want to screw this up, we have been dateing for 7 months, i just cant stop worring and thinking of the worst thing possible. Idk what to do.

:D I'm exactly like this with my fiance.

The best advice I can give you is that if you enjoy being with him, thats the only thing that matters. This is not the end of the world. You have time. Take it one day at a time, if you don't want to see him one day, don't. Take it as it goes and remember that being with people is meant to be fun. Let it be what it is.

I plan to ask my doctor at my next appointment, but in the meantime, does anyone know if having sex in a hottub can be dangerous in any way? I assume the chemicals would be harmful, and that there would also be risk of urinary tract infection. Can anyone refute or support those? Any personal experiences?

Actually, I doubt the chemicals would be harmful at all, they are designed to come in contact with skin, even fragile genital skin so it shouldn't damage it. As for the urinry tract infection thing, its actually a lot less likely you'll get a urinry infection if you have sex in water, the water (and chemicals in a hot tub) would wash away the bacteria which makes the infection. The reduced friction due to the water will also reduce the spredding of the bacteria meaning it would be very unlikely you would get a urinry tract infection.

I don't see any reason why having sex in a hot tub would be dangerous at all.

I am a full time student through a community college but since I registered late, it's independent work I do at home. So I'm at home like all the time, my boyfriend works full time (we live together). I can't find a job. My friends and his are all away at school so at night are seriously bored to tears and get very very irritated with each other and frustrated that there's nothing to do. I seriously get so upset that we are such losers...we're only 20 and we live like 70 year olds! The days are just so long and monotonous because I'm stuck at home doing school work (and because I can't drive) and the nights are depressing and boring and awful. The spark is like gone from our relationship, seriously, because we are so pathetic and bored and there's nothing to do together at night. What can I do? I seriously can't go on like this, it's awful...

I've read both the other two answers and I don't honestly think they're any good.
I know what you're going through, due to illness ive spent a lot of time at home with my fiancee and often feel lonely, bored, pissed off with him, and its generally shitty.

If you are working from home, have a specific area of a room you work in, and start and end at desiganted times, so start at 10, have a break at half 11 or something. This'll make it feel less like your home is being invaded by work.

As for the boyfriend, try to do things out of the ordinary. Suprise him even if you don't feel like it, it'll remind you of how it used to be and you should soon be back to how you were. Also try spending a few days away from him, go visit one of your friends, that way you'll appreciate him more when you come home.

Try to meet up with old friends, people you haven't seen in a while, if you want to get out of the house, join an evening class or club of somesort. Don't be afraid to introduce yourself to people. This'll mean you get out of the house more and get some social interaction.

I hope that helps, its worked for me! If you want anything else, just drop me a line
Take care!

Hiya i have blonde highlights on a dark blonde base and i really want liek baby blonde hair/white blonde

Was just wondering that if i bleach my hair will it leave my hair multitonal because of the highlights or will it jus all round turn the bleached colour?

thankyouuuuu xx

It does depend on the type of bleach you use, how strong it is, but theoretically this should be the case.
I've been bleaching and dying my hair for years and have found that if i start with a darker colour, it will be darker after bleaching than if i used a light colour.

If you want multi tonal hair, use a light blonde hair dye which should leave the light bits light and the darker bits darker than the light bits.

If you want all over bleach blonde, use something like B Blonde by jerome russel for Dark Hair. If you want it all light yet multi tonal you could bleach then use a highlighting product?

Hope I helped!

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