AmericnJewl's advice column

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Q: where can i get good friendship quotes to put in like my aim info or something? any good web sites?

Try these:

http://www.quoteland.com
http://www.brainyquote.com
http://www.quotationspage.com
http://bartleby.com

Q: Ok this may sound really weird but lately ive been having this thick white discharge. Does any1 know what that can be and why im getting it? 16/f

It may be perfectly normal (discharge can be the mucus from inside your body cleaning your area), HOWEVER, you should possibly see a gynecologist as you may have a yeast or some other infection. Often time a bad scent may be another indicator of an infection. Talk to your mom or some other woman you trust about making an appointment to visit the doctor. You can also post your question to WebMD in this section: http://boards.webmd.com/topic.asp?topic_id=37

Q: my boyfriend has been a real jerk lately. we planned to go see the grudge last friday and he backed out because he had no money. i found out why he had no money for the movies was because he bought weed with the money he had. he told me he stopped smoking weed 2 weeks ago. also, we went to the mall and he just sat with his friends n whispered n laffed n ignored me. i was like "call me tonight" wen we left and he wasl ike okay i will i promise. and he didnt. he didnt call all day saturday either. and today hes surpose to come over to go trick or treatin with all of our friends. but i still havent heard a word from him. should i call him n see if hes still coming? or just forget bout it and go out with my gurls?

Do you really need to be with someone who sacrifices doing something with you to buy drugs? You don't deserve that, nobody does. I dated a guy in college for four years that continually vowed to quit smoking pot, and sometimes did, but never for very long. I broke up with him (that being one of many reasons) and it seemed to have jerked him into reality. Last I heard he was doing well professionally had gone straightedge, and that makes me really happy for him

It's clear that he's making you unhappy, confront him about that. Maybe, hopefully, you can bring him to the reality that drugs only make you lose things, never the other way around.

Q: I have not been going out with my boyfriend for very long.. We got 2 know each other and he asked me out and i said yes.. Than he was sent to boarding school in SC and but were both from NC.. He never really calls but sometimes he will and we talk about nothing i know he does drugs but the only one he says he does is weed... But all my friends and ppl tell me he does other stuff.. He came home like 3weekends ago and we really didnt talk or see each other cause he was " Fucked Up" and is annoying to be around cause he does not talk really.. I know his guy friends that he with do drugs.. But i really like him and he just soo sweet..and etc.. i have no idea what i should do.. should i break things off.. Or just deal with the fact that he does drugs and i cant do ne thing about it.. HELPME PLEASE
*Kristen*

Kristen,

It doesn't sound as though he's treating you very sweetly. He doesn't call very often or write you at all. He was in town but instead of seeing you or spending some time with you he decided to use drugs instead, he picked the drugs over you.

I would consider getting out of that relationship because drugs only lead to further problems. It often can make people say and do things that hurt others. Think about it, you can surely do better...

Q: I moved to Colorado, and i lived in cali, and i dont like colorado what should i do? . . .my parents are bungholes and i think im kinda stuck wit em, whats da best way to meat new peoples when u move?

I totally know what you mean. My family moved from San Francisco to Northern Virginia between my sophomore and junior year of high school! That completely sucked and I hated them AND Virginia. High school back in California was so much fun and I had so many friends. I had to come out here and be a stranger at a school where everyone knew each other and there were thousands of students (as opposed to the 130 at my old school). I was scared and nervous and sad. I made friends in my classes and through after-school clubs (I joined a public service club which was great because I got to know people through the projects that we did). You could also see if there is a community center nearby that you could attend classes where you can meet other kids. If you are religious you could go to meetings for kids your age at a church as well.

Be friendly and open with people and you should be making friends in no time. You'll soon get used to Colorado, I'm sure. Good luck!

Q: I have a great accomplishment. I am a big poetry writer and so I gathered all of my best from my teen years and present when I was 20, 3 years ago. I put together and published an 80 page book of poetry called, "Running Through the Blue." It includes my own artwork, too. This project took 2 years to complete. I paid $800 for 25 copies that took me a year to save for. Now, I know I should have done things differently when I got my copies becasue friends and family scoffed them all up for $10 a copy. I made only $120, but not all at once of course, so that money was intertwined into my life's needs and it is spent. I should have marketed my book and now I only have 2 copies left (3 if you count my own). Does anyone have any suggestions what I can do with these 2 books left, like maybe get them into the "right hands" somehow? I know my poetry is really good and I know my friends and family all appreciated it but I think those books are just filling shelf space maybe to look at and say, "cool, I'm proud of her." Yeah, okay, but I worked so hard for this, I would like it to go recognized in a deeper place, like with someone that could help me become something. Does anyone have any ideas? I already know what it is I should have done, but what can I do now that what's done is done? I can't just buy more copies, I'm a stay at home mom now, I never have money, I don't work again for another 2 years or so. Please help me find my way in the right direction!! Thank you.

You don't need to have a finished product to take to a publisher, it would be way too expensive for you to try to get it professionally published that way. By my experience publishers often have specific formatting and method of submission that they would like you to follow.

You can also go through http://www.cafepress.com and other internet self-publishing resources to recreate more books.

ALSO, check out these two articles from SoYouWanna.com:
http://www.soyouwanna.com/site/syws/publishbook/publishbook.html and http://www.soyouwanna.com/site/syws/publishpoem/publishpoem.html
About's Poetry section also may have helpful publishing resources: http://poetry.about.com

Q: I am currently a first year university student. I have a problem with a talkative person that always comes to sit next to me during lectures. It is extremely annoying to have someone talk during a lecture, especially to you. It is also annoying to have people in the lecture give you dirty looks for 'disrupting' everything when you haven't said a word at all. That is besides the point. I am wondering what possible things can I do to keep this person from talking or sitting next to or near me? I have tried to be nice, and I have tried to be rude and forward - neither works. I have explicitly told this person that they need to shut up so I can listen and they responded, "Ok but just listen to this..." It is beyond the point of frustration. Even when I move, that person always shows up to where ever I am and manages to find me. I cannot come late because a) I am already in that lecture hall from a class directly before and b) because this person is always very very late to the point of getting into a seat right as the lecture is starting. I am not entirely comfortable with asking a random person to please 'sit in this seat next to me, please oh please.'

Whatever can I do?!

You don't need to be entirely rude, but you HAVE to put your foot down. I was in the same situation my freshman year of college (back in '98). The EXACT same situation. She was very disruptive to me so I had to keep telling her that I'm trying to concentrate and that I needed to pay attention. But she kept doing it, so I said "Look, I really don't mind you sitting next to me but I need to pay attention in this class, but you are constantly distracting me. I need you to stop talking to me during class. If you want to chat, come before class starts, but don't talk to me during class." She seemed hurt but she still came to class and was quiet...for about a month. She started up again! So I went to the teacher and explained the situation. I asked her to please say something to the girl when she sees her talking to me. After a couple of classes of the teacher saying "Mary, please stop talking while I'm lecturing" she finally stopped...

Q: I am a 23 year old mother to an 11 month old son and I am still breastfeeding him. I am slowly introducing him to cow milk but he won't be ready for that full time for a month or 2 or 3, who knows. I love breastfeeding but am just about ready to be done with it even though I will miss being a size 36 C. The only thing I won't miss is going back to an A or B bra. I love the closeness and the bond my son and I share from it, but now it's like he's older so it's more annoying now because he is so clingy to my chest area not just to eat but for comfort. He eats 2-3 meals a day of baby jar foods and he loves little finger foods and he drinks juice but will not drink anything but that and breastmilk. He eats really well, but when he wants to be breastfed he gets so fussy and demanding and he puts on this really moody act wherever I am. I am sick of having to whip out my boob when I am with friends or family now. Not just because of how they look at me like, "you're still breastfeeding him?" but also because I am now annoyed by it, I want my freedom back. The problem is that my boyfriend works 2 jobs, he is on his feet from 6 a.m. until 1 a.m. 4 1/2 days a week and it is really important that he gets his sleep at night. Now we only have a 1 bedroom apartment so I need to keep my son quiet at night, so how do I do that? I breastfeed him all night long. It is hard to put him in his crib and keep him sleeping. I am still waking up with him at all hours of the night like he's a newborn!! Although I love to cuddle with him and wouldn't mind sleeping with him a little here and there I am sick of sleeping with him ALL of the time. I want to stretch out again and sleep for 8 hours at a time, not a 1/2 hour to 4 hours only. We are not getting a 2 bedroom apartment until April 1st, and believe me when that time comes things are so gonna change. But what do I do in the meantime? I can't afford formula, nor does my son like it. I heard something about mixing evaporated milk with organic milk until he is ready for full time cow milk. Does anyone have any suggestions? I want my son to become independent from his mommy's breast now. I'm afraid it is only going to get harder to keep him from wanting it the longer he stays attached. Urgent help, advice and suggestions are wanted A.S.A.P!! Thank you.

I would advise you to contact your pediatrician or family clinic about how to help your son adjust to regular foods. There should have been someone that talked to you about breastfeeding (either at the hospital or when/if you took classes), see if you can contact that person about this issue.

If that isn't an option or you don't feel comfortable doing that, hit the library or the bookstore for books about breastfeeding. I know there's a bit in "The Baby Book: Everything You Need to Know About Your Baby from Birth to Age Two."

Q: Is it ok for a guy to stay out late partying if his girl is sitting at home waiting for him?

I guess it depends. If the guy tells the girl that he'll be going out and won't be coming home until very late and it's an agreed upon thing, then she really has no ground to be mad. But, if he doesn't let her know that he's out and doesn't call to let her know that he's going to be out very late, that's totally inconsiderate.

My ex-boyfriend would plan to hang out with friends then come and pick me up for a date. Well, on more than one occasion he would do that and show up 3 or 4 hours later than he said he would. NOT okay! (That's why he's an ex!)

On the other hand my current beau (my fiance) is in school full time and has an office job so he often will spend Friday nights at home studying. I let him know that I'm going to be going out with my girlfriends (since Sat. night is "our" night) and I'll call him around 11 or 12 to let him know that I'm still out but okay.

It's just a matter of consideration and showing the other person that, even though you're out with other people, you're still being considerate and caring.

Q: thanks to all who answered my first question, except Gooky of course (oh sorry,I meant Mooky). Beleieve me if I had any idea what it was, a huge load would be lifted off my mind.I failed to mention that it was a reply to a message he had sent(actually I had hoped to get a simple explanation without having to go into more detail.)Weve been together for 11years but are on the rocks at the present-something major is going on but he refuses to tell me what. I dont know if hes seeing someone else or if theres way more to it than that. Its not out of the question
that he's -well- im not going to go any further but please if anyone can tell me how to decipher these messages(there are a couple more)maybe it will shed some light on things and i can deal with it and get on with my life

It really is just spam, seriously. It seems that you're looking for an answer where there is none. Sometimes spam has Re: in the subject line because they want to trick you into opening the email thinking it is from someone you know. It's not a secret code, it's just a spam email.

If there's a problem in your relationship, perhaps you should ask to speak with him about it calmly. Make sure he knows that it's very important for both of you to figure out what is going on.

P.S. I even get emails in russian (which can also look like code). For instance, this is a spam email that I got today:

Еmail реклама качественно, недорого
721-62-54

Ђ

See? Looks like code, but is really just spam.

Q: im kind of insecure about my private area. i have washed with plain soap n water, ive douched, used feminine wash..what else is there to do?

It seems that you are insecure regarding odor. Douching is not a safe way to clean that area, in fact, most doctors/health care providers would reccomend against it. It will disrupt your natural chemical balance and make you succeptible to bacterial infections.

The vagina actually cleans itself naturally with your fluids but the best way for you to clean it yourself is with water and UNSCENTED soap. Other products may be harmful to you as well.

If you have a very strong odor or any kind of unusual secretions/discharge see a doctor as soon as possible since it may be an indication of an underlying health issue.

Q: I tried to grow an herb garden but nothing grew except one thing: the basil. it smells really good and I have a ton of it! but I don't know what basil is used for or what to do with it. anyone have some advice?

I love basil! Yes, it's a great addition to pasta sauce. Try making pesto with it (http://www.allrecipes.com--look up pesto). You can spread pesto on plain pasta (no spaghetti sauce) or you can spread it on crostini (small slices of french bread, toasted).

Q: could any of you tell me what the different colored ribbons mean?
thanks.
ill rate.

pink - breast cancer awareness
blue or black- online free speech
red - hiv/aids awareness
red - mothers against drunk driving
yellow - suicide prevention
yellow or red/white/blue - military support, POW/MIA
white - men against men's violence against women
white - pro-life
green - responsibility in free speech
purple - pancreatic cancer
grey - September 11 memorial
grey or silver - diabetes
brown - anti-politically correct
mint green - awarness of abuse
orange - families with loved ones in prison
baby pink and baby blue (together) - stop partial birth abortions
dollar bill ribbon - support capitalism
silver - support children with disabilities

Q: Hi Guys..Ok I know this is going to sound ignorant comming from a 22 year old but I really dont know. I am signing up for a gym membership, But I have never been worked out in a gym before. I am tring to tone my belly, sides, and legs, and loose a couple pounds. should I use certain machines how long on each. should I get in a certain rutine. If any of you go to a gym let me know what works for you and what you might think will work me. Thanks a lot guys

I've tried working out a gyms--both with weights and on cardio machines. I completely lost interest. It's a pain to adjust the weights (especially if you don't know how much is too much or too little) and an hour on the stairclimber is boring, no matter what. If you're trying to lose weight, consider changing your diet. If you're at the gym and you're doing strength training, you might find that you're putting on more pounds...of muscle.

I joined Curves because I found it to be perfect for me (not necessarily perfect for everyone). I'm 24, 5'4" and 120lbs. I'm not there to lose weight necessarily, but to get fit and healthy by increasing my activity level. If you want to know more about curves let me know!

If you end up joining a "regular" gym, make sure they have qualified trainers that will work with you to develop a program you can do.

Q: i am in 9th grade. which college is best. penn state, michigan state, florida state,california state,or st. vincent? i rate all well.

That's really great that you're starting to think about colleges already. Instead of worrying which college is best (and there's no real way of saying which is or isn't), concentrate on your schoolwork. You'll need very good grades to get into any of those schools and a lot can happen between now and your senior year of high school. Your sophomore or junior year you should consider visiting some of those schools if you can (some schools offer online tours of their campus). Talk to your parents now about how your education will be paid for and also consider scholarship opportunities.

Check out these websites for more information:
http://www.collegeispossible.org
http://www.collegeparents.org
http://collegeapps.about.com
http://www.usnews.com/usnews/edu/eduhome.htm