about

Hi there! My name is Alyssa, and I'm a teen adviser who would like to help answer any questions that you may have about teen life and beyond.

If you need help with anything, please feel free to ask me, or visit my friend's website at www.freewebs.com/bt4t You'll receive lots of support there. Also, feel free to join the site. Visitors are always welcome.

Please note that I am not a professional adviser but I will do my best to answer any of your questions.

Thank you

-Alyssa-

advice

I really like this guy. He's my age and we're really good friends. Call it best friends if you want. We're both a little shy. I can't seem to say I like him and he can't either. Is there an easy way to tell him I like him without saying it to his face?

Note: Please don't tell me to just say it to his face. I don't have the guts.

It would be better to tell it to his face, but I know the feeling. Lol. Here are some tips,
Have a friend tell him you like him.
Pass a note, between classes.
e-mail.
Instant message.

My favorite is to have friends do it, but a peace of advice, have them do it when he is alone, cause weither he likes you back or not it could be embarising with his friends there. Lol

Hope this help,
AlyssaBT4T

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So untill around last christmas i had this boyfriend... lets call him B. ok well i knew that B liked me and i wasnt really sure how i felt about him, so i dumped him..now this summer, i really miss him.. and i dont know he dosnt seem like he wants to talk to me , everytime i im him hes always like hey.. and hes soo boring..
i want the old B bak..
soo how can i get him to like me again
and how do i tell him i like him ??

IM him and when he says "hey" ask him out.


Hope this helps,
AlyssaBT4T

Ok let me try this again, if its better can you change my rateing?

Next time you guys talk online or see each other, you ask him the questions, you keep the conversation going. Ask open-ended questions not yes or no questions. Like,
What did you do this summer?
Where did you go on Vacation?
Who did you see?
How many people do you miss?
Who is in your classes?
Like that, become freinds and get to know each other again. Then when the times comes you you two can talk without being boring,
tell him you made a mistake of breaking up with him, and you would like it if he gave you a second chance...

Hope this answer is better,
AlyssaBT4T

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my mom has been with this guy for about four years, they recently got married and my family moved in with him. Before they got married he was always nice to us by buying us things we need and taking care of or probelms financially. Now that we moved in with him its been a living hell. He treats my mother like shit and can never have a convesation without screaming at her. i can see that my mother is very upset and im trying to figure out how to confront this situation. Please give me some advice

I think you need to sit your mom down and talk to her and see what going on. Sorry I am not much help...

Hope this helps,
AlyssaBT4T

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this guy that i like went to mexico and is coming back tomorrow..
and before he left we were getting really close. and he kissed me
before he left. but hes not the hook up type or whatever. so i was
just wondering what you think.. do u think we will be the same when
he gets back? or no?? and he promised was gonna tell me this one
"secret" which my friend told him to ask me out. .and he promised he
would tell me when he got back...so i hope he does *knock on wood*
but idkk i just want to know what a lot of other people think??

I think he might want to ask you out. Good luck!

Hope this helps,
AlyssaBT4T

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My mom and I are visiting my Aunt as well as my cousins.Any way today after I had breakfast with just my mom and my aunt I went shopping on my own and then my aunt and my mom went back to my Aunts Apartment at her Assisted Living Place. About a half hour into my shopping my zipper to my purse broke. I went to a store and purchased a new purse (a bigger one to hold everything). This one does not have a zipper but a magnetic snap. Anyway I transferred all my stuff from my old purse into the new one, checked the old one to see if I missed anything and then threw the old one out at the mall when I saw I transferred everything into the new purse.When I came back to the apartment my mom saw my new purse and I told her what happened. When I told her I did not keep the old purse (that I threw it out after transferring everything from the old purse to the new purse) she asked me was I sure I took everything out of the old purse. I told her I did and she asked me three more times was I sure that I did take everything out of the old purse. I then told her that I needed to buy the new one and I asked her what she would have done and she said you know me I would have brought the old purse back to the apartment and checked the old purse a few more times. However, when she said the above to me what went through my mind is that she was implying I should have still used the old one.MY QUESTION: Am I thinking stupidly and how would you have interpreted what my mom said if she said it to you?

I think she is just impling that next time bring the old purse home just incase you did forget something.

Hope this helps,
AlyssaBT4T

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f/15

ok well there is this kid that i like a lot. he is the same age as me and is my cousins bestfriend. me and my cousin are really close. i went on vacation with them this year and this kid that i like went with his family too. i spent a lot of time with and we got to know each other better. i was good friends with him before this. but he goes to a different school which isnt much of the problem. but i like and i think he likes me. he said he did for a while but he feels weird because i'm his bestfriends cousin. i was a little nervous to ask him so i got my friend to ask she texted him and he said that he just couldnt date me because of that. me and him are both a little shy. but i dont know what to do i really like this kid and everyone says he still likes me too. my cousin told me when he knew i liked him that he doesnt care if i did it was my life and i could like who i want. this kid just doesnt know that though and i dont know how to tell him. i know this is kind of hard to understand the way i wrote it..but its confusing. Any Advice? thanks. =)

Try getting your cousin to tell the same thing to his friend. Sorry I don't have much advice on this.
Hope this helps,
AlyssaBT4T

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I'm starting a new relationship with a guy i really like how do I keep it exciting and try to keep it new like so we aren't tired of each other real fast?

To keep thing moving, always be a flirty with him, slip a love note in his books, touch his arm/shoulder and giggle, play with you hair, and kiss him randomly, like if he is talking then stops for some reason, just kiss him. Lol.

Hope this helps,
AlyssaBT4T

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the other night i had some friends over to watch movies. it was supposed to be just girls, but then my best friend asked if these two guys could come over too. normally i wouldn't have cared, but my boyfriend was out of town, and i knew he'd be mad if i had guys over when he wasn't there. so i told my friend that, but she really wanted them to come because she likes one of them. so i told her i didnt want to officially invite them, but if they just "happened" to drop by (wink wink), then what could i do? so of course they came over. i planned on telling my boyfriend that they just stopped by, looking for him (and that part is true... they really did assume he would be there). but so far i haven't been able to bring it up. and now for the problem. my friend actually told the guys that it was ok with me if they came over, so it sort of IS like i invited them. and soon my boyfriend and i will be seeing them at a party. im sure they'll bring up my little movie night, and i wont be able to act like "oh, it was such a surprise when you came over!", cuz they'd be like, what the heck? aggghhhhh! what should i do? i dont want my boyfriend to think he cant trust me! i wish i had just told my friend no!

ps. its not like i did anything wrong with these guys - they were flirting with my friend the whole time, and they know me and my bf are practically married lol - but my boyfriend and i sort of have an agreement that we wont hang out with other girls/guys unless we're both there.

You need to be able to tell your BF what happened, and get your friend involved, make sure she tells your guy that she was the one that wanted them to come over. If you have a good guy , then he'll believe you.

Hope this helps,
AlyssaBT4T

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13/f

i've been having dreams for about the past 4 days about this boy i really have a crush on. and they're all good dreams, like we hug & kiss and that kinda stuff. he's one year older than me, [i'm going into 8th and he's going into 9th] i met him at my summer camp, he works as a teen volunteer but we never talked there. i have his s/n and we talk occasionally, but not much. i have his myspace, but we don't talk at all. what's up with these dreams? why am i having them? does this mean somethings gonna happen between us? thanks.

Having dream about guys who you like is just a hormoone going crazy. It doesn't really mean anything. Sorry.

Hope this helps,
AlyssaBT4T

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another relationship Q:

I dont understand what I want. I feel like I want a boyfriend, but then when it actually comes to dating something happens! The first date is fine, but then after that for some reason i start being distant to them. I think im scared of dating guys . I want to! But then I can't be myself around the guys I actually really like as boyfriend material! And then guys that i can be myself with (guyfriends) most likely end up liking me.. Then I think the guys i do like end up not liking me. Then it starts all over again. Maybe I'm not confident enough to have a boyfriend now? Guys like girls that are confident dont they? I dont know. I might become anti-dating cause i cant figure out why i get nervous, or why i cant be myself around them. Someone help meee :-o

Ok if you feel like you are becoming distant from the gut you like, then think like you aren't BF and GF. Try thinking that your just his friend that slips flirty notes into his books. don't worry about becoming distant, just have fun.

Hope this helps,
AlyssaBT4T

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I have been dating my boyfriend for almost a year. Our 1 year is in October... anyway earlier in the relationship my boyfriend did some really messed up things that I almost broke up with him over. I still have thoughts about the things he did that really bothered me. None the less I forgave him for all the stuff that he did even though i feel like i let him off the hook way to easy. Recently I have been hanging out with this guy and he is really amazing. He knows how to treat a girl.. he's like the definition of a perfect boyfriend. Anyway he now knows that I like him and he likes me to. If i want to be with him I have to break up with my boyfriend. The problem is of course my boyfriend and I have been dating for a while and I still love him but it's like ever since I met this guy all I can do is think about him and how great he is. I want to break up with my boyfriend to be with him but at the same time a don't. I really don't want to hurt my boyfriend but it's like I want someone new like I'm sick of him. It's going to be so hard for my boyfriend because I know he loves me and cares about me a lot that's why I don't want to break up with him because I don't want to find out that I messed up our relationship and moved on to this new guy when it wont work. I know that i will get over it but I see him in school everyday so it's kind of hard. What do you think I should do?

Look at the pros and cons....

Your BF~
pros:
dateing for a while
still love him
loves and cares for you

Cons:
did messed up things

New Guy~
pros:
amazing
how to treat a girl
perfect BF
likes you

Cons:
might not work out

check out the pros and cons of each guy.

Hope this helps,
AlyssaBT4T

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My boyfriend of 3 months and i broke up a week ago today. I have had the worst week and the stupid thing is, its all over the reasoning as to why we broke up. You see, things had been weird with him the week leading up to the breakup and i asked him what was wrong and he told me the news... hes moving at the end of the year. ten hours away to be exact.

I messaged him telling him that I didnt want to wait around to have my heart broken at the end of the year and he agreed that it would be 'smart' of us to break it off sooner rather than later. He said letting me go was going to be hard but it was better this way.

The thing is... i know i love him. And that I really just want to be with him. We are still friends but have stopped the whole couples thing (no touching...no kissing etc) but everytime i see him i just want to fall back into his arms and be how we used to be.

He told me the only thing that would change would be that we wouldnt do couple things but we could still go over to each others houses and be good friends and that he would always love me.

I really dont know what i should do, do i gradually de-attach myself?

Is it wrong to feel like this, and should i try and mask my feelings of love from him?

Was it smart to break up now and save the heartbreak later? Should I tell him how i feel or would that just make him feel worse for moving when i know he doesnt want to?

Is it wrong to feel jealous when i see him talking and mucking around with other girls and is it wrong to still message him and talk to him at school AND have him over at my house like old times?

HELP!!!!

Personally, I don't think you should have broken up at all, him moving is just a way of seeing how strong your love for him really is. Tell him and get back together. You can always see each other over holiday brakes and the summer. Good luck.

Hope this helps,
AlyssaBT4T

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I have a relationship going with this guy who's great. we met mid-summer and ended up talking alot, and bottom line, we've got to know each other well. we kiss a lot, hold hands, we just all around act like a couple. when I'm with him the rest of the world seriously drowns out, and I'm ecstatic everyime I talk to him. (cliche, I know)
here comes the bad part- he has a girlfriend. now,I know I'm gonna get scolded for this probably, but I can't help it. he's the one making the moves on me, and I've had a crush on him since I met him. I know, in terms of good morals I should not do this, but he's driving me crazy, and he's the first guy I genuinely want to be with. He's insanely sweet... & I know realistically if he REALLY wanted to be with me he would break up with her (trust me, I'm not oblivious to the truth), but I honestly like where we're at right now. What should I do?

Try talking to him, about what you two are doing while he has a girlfriend. Tell him that the only way you two could be together is if he breaks up with his GF.

Hope this helps,
AlyssaBT4T

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Theres this guy i realllly like. None of my friends think he is good for me so i can't talk to them about it. i met him a few weeks ago and i think he has the best personality ever and hes super cute. Well he has girlfriend but he never mentions her in conversations i have with him. He came and saw me at work today and we sat out on the bench together then when i had to go back i stood up and hes like do i get a hug and i said of course he gave me a hug and squeezed me really tight.

I hate that he has a girlfriend he flirts with me and i like him alot. im trying to not let my feelings show alot but they problly are.

What do you guys think i should do? i don't want to stop talking to him, he's probly one of the coolest, down to earth guy i have ever met and i love being around him.

thanks.

Talk to him about his GF, and how even though he might not mean it, that he flirts with you, and it makes you uncomfortable.

Hope this helps,
AlyssaBT4T

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After parting ways from the movie today, my guy friend, Erik told me on msn tonight "next time we meet, i demand a hug! :D" what could this possibly mean?

I think he likes you.
Like if he were to say that he wanted a hug, then that could mean that he just wanted a hug.
But if he demands it, there is a pretty good chance he likes you.

Hope this helps,
AlyssaBT4T

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okay well,
for a while, ive been itching 'down there' and when i itch it, it gets red spots where the hair is. i dont know if its just because of my hair down there because i shave but i was reading something on yeast infections and now im freaking.

it says you get a whitish discharge, like cottage cheese. and i do get discharge, and its kinda white, but it dosent look like cottage cheese.

so im freaking out.
do i have a yeast infection or am i just being a normal 16/f?

please help.

I think its just because of you shaving down there. Try not shaving down there and see if the itching goes away.

Hope this helps,
AlyssaBT4T

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ok so last fall my boyfriend started liking this other girl. he told her he was gonna break up with me, and they kissed. the next morning he called me crying and told me it was a huge mistake, and he didnt want to lose me, and blah blah blah. so i gave him another chance.

so for while he didnt talk to that girl. but they had a class together and after a while they started sitting together and became "good friends." and then i started hearing about how he was always flirting with her and stuff. so of course i talked to him about it, many times, and finally i told him if he wanted to stay with me, he couldnt talk to her anymore. and he promised not to.

so then we were at this end of school party, and of course she was there, with her new boyfriend. and my boyfriend didnt actually TALK to her, but he was constantly around her and showing off like an idiot in front of her the whole time. so i told him it was obvious that he liked her, and i broke up with him. he spent the next few days crying and begging me to take him back, swearing he didnt like her.

well, as soon as that girl heard that id broken up with him, she dumped her boyfriend. so i told him, here's your chance, you can go out with her now, obviously she likes you. but he said he only wanted to go out with me. and then SHE wrote me a note, saying that i should go back out with him, that she doesnt like him and he doesnt like her, and that we're perfect together, and i shouldnt be mad at him, i should be mad at her cuz it was all her fault. (i didnt really get that last part, but whatever).

sooo... we got back together, and we've had an awesome summer and everything has been perfect. but now school is about to start. and i just know hes gonna have a ton of classes with her, and i cant stop worrying about it. arrrrggghhh! and i keep wondering if maybe he just stayed with me for the summer (cuz we live down the street from each other, whereas this girl lives far away and he'd never see her during the summer).

should i be worried? or am i just paranoid? im just dreading school starting because of this and i hate feeling this way. someone please tell me how to stop worrying or what i should do if you think i do have something to be worried about. (i hope that made sense!)

I think you are just being paranoid. Its obvious that he cares for you, I mean how may times do you see a guy cry over a girl?
If you are still feeling uncomfortable with him being around her then just watch them together.
Part of being in a realtionship is trusting each other, so try your best to trust him.

Hope this helps,
AlyssaBT4T

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okayy i really need advice asap. okay so theres this girl who now goes to my school this year & shes a sweetheart and were friends. Were not like super close but i love her to death. So theres this guy at my school that is just gorgeous & i really like him. We hung out and all that & i really connected with him. Well when i came home i found out that the girl that i'm friends with went out with him for about a year off and on. She was upset with me and cried so muchh. Like she told me she doesn't want to be friends with me anymore cause it hurts her too much and she thinks i don't care about her. i talked to her and all that but she decided not to be friends. When one of my friends get mad at me, like everyone does and i'm so scared of that. I know your gonna say well then their not real friends but idk, just bare with me lol. anyways - Well the guy i like says he really likes me & don't even like his ex girlfriend anymore but shes still head over heels for him. I offered to stop talking to him and shes like NOO i don't wanna make your life shitty, please just get to know him & leave me out of it. I really don't know what to do. When i hung out with him the other dayy, i didn't wanna leave. Hes so cute & sweet and ahh i just like him alott. So what do i do? The girl i was friends with said shed get overr it eventually but i don't want the whole world hateing me because of this. For one its not their business and two, i can't stop who i likee even when i didn't know they datedd. i'm so shooken up over this situation. My best friend is also friends with this girl and i'm so afraid she`ll turn on me after she said she really wouldn't. I'm so scared. And i feel so bad that i did this to the girl but i don't know what to do. should i stop talking to him? should i just let her get used to it, or get over it ? Just give me advice on what you would do if you were in my place. thnk you so much.

If I were in your place I would believe you BFF, that she won't turn on you.
Now about the guy, if she were your friend then she would just let you be, to date which ever guy you liked.

But if I were in your shoes,
i wouldn't go out with him, until your friend was way over him.

Sorry I can't help much, this is a tough question.

Hope this helps,
AlyssaBT4T

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does anyone know a song about a girl who loves this guy but they live far away from eachother?

Delila

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is vanessa hugnes going out with zac efron or is it ashley tisdale and zac?

Vanessa and Zac
Ashley with someone from Fall out boy

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