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help! caught in a lie!
the other night i had some friends over to watch movies. it was supposed to be just girls, but then my best friend asked if these two guys could come over too. normally i wouldn't have cared, but my boyfriend was out of town, and i knew he'd be mad if i had guys over when he wasn't there. so i told my friend that, but she really wanted them to come because she likes one of them. so i told her i didnt want to officially invite them, but if they just "happened" to drop by (wink wink), then what could i do? so of course they came over. i planned on telling my boyfriend that they just stopped by, looking for him (and that part is true... they really did assume he would be there). but so far i haven't been able to bring it up. and now for the problem. my friend actually told the guys that it was ok with me if they came over, so it sort of IS like i invited them. and soon my boyfriend and i will be seeing them at a party. im sure they'll bring up my little movie night, and i wont be able to act like "oh, it was such a surprise when you came over!", cuz they'd be like, what the heck? aggghhhhh! what should i do? i dont want my boyfriend to think he cant trust me! i wish i had just told my friend no!
ps. its not like i did anything wrong with these guys - they were flirting with my friend the whole time, and they know me and my bf are practically married lol - but my boyfriend and i sort of have an agreement that we wont hang out with other girls/guys unless we're both there.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
just start talking to you boyfriend about what you and your friend did that night(popcorn,nails,movie etc.). then just slip in the part where your friend asked if she could bring over this guy she liked and you told her it would be okay as long as they didn't stay to long.
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You need to be able to tell your BF what happened, and get your friend involved, make sure she tells your guy that she was the one that wanted them to come over. If you have a good guy , then he'll believe you.
Hope this helps,
AlyssaBT4T
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You haven't lied. It's just a misunderstanding. Why do you and your boyfriend have that agreement in the first place? You should be able to hang out with other guys regardless of if he's there or not, same goes for him with other girls. Since you're "practically married" you should trust each other enough to do that, right?
Talk to your boyfriend BEFORE the party. Tell him that you had a bunch of friends over to watch movies & a couple guys came along to hang out with everyone, not just you, and expected your boyfriend to be there but stayed & watched the movies anyways. If you stay calm it should go over fine. If your boyfriend freaks out because your guy friends came over your house, it's not your fault because you didn't do anything wrong. Maybe have your best friend reassure him that nothing happened at the party? Don't cross that bridge until you come to it, though. He may be totally fine with the whole situation. As long as you're 100% honest with him it should all work out. Good luck!
-LM
[15/f]
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Are you going to be able to sustain your arrangement with your boyfriend over the long-term? I'll tell you, it's impractical. Even if you don't think it's unreasonable to stay away from people of the opposite gender unless your boyfriend's there, it's just not something that I can see you or anyone doing in the long-term.
Asking that you don't see/talk to anyone of the opposite gender while you are not there is controlling behavior and may be a sign of more serious issues such as mental or physical abuse, so please be careful! Now, the way I'd handle it is to casually mention that they came along with your friend the other night and when you arrive at the party, just saying "I'm glad you dropped by with FRIEND Friday (or whatever)." You should never have to lie, excuse, or cover up whom you have been with to your boyfriend. If you are doing that, there are serious problems with your relationship.
And, you're obviously nervous, saying "caught in a lie" in the title of your post. Don't worry. Play it casual. Otherwise, BF will be suspicious of you for the wrong reason.
I hope it works out.
Sabine
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