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JunieBazinet
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I'm just an average person. I love to help people out :) it makes me feel better about myself. I've been in a lot of situations so I can most likely relate to a lot of your problems. I know what it feels like to not have anyone to talk to about your problems, which is why i'm an advicenator. I'm ready to help people and be there for everyone who needs advice or just a companion to speak out to. I'm always here if you need me, don't hesitate to drop a question or even just a vent/rant note about a problem to my advice column inbox. I respond to all of them regardless of the topic. I'm upfront and abrupt about my answers and never sugarcoat. Take my advice or not, but i'm just doing my job :)Played volleyball for over 10 years, also a coach. I love to try new things. Currently I'm trying the new sport of tennis and learning about my passion of photography.
advice
Iam a 22 female and sometimes I find my self eating when Iam not hungry. I eat when iam bored and depressed why do I do this is this an eating disorder or am I just a glutton?
Here's a good idea. Take a permanent marker and write on your hand STOP! then when you're tempted to reach for food and eat, you will read this STOP and it will remind you to stop.
instead of eating food when you're bored, think of other things to do. It sounds like to me that you're a "hands-on" type of person. I'm the same way! I have a bad habit of biting my nails. I do it when i'm bored. My doctor told me its because my hands always need to be moving and busy. He said the best way to get rid of the habit is to keep my hands busy so that I'm not tempted to bite my nails. So you should try that. You eat when you're bored. Try doing things to keep yourself moving and busy. Like knitting, coloring, playing with your hair, giving yourself hand massages, holding onto a stress ball and just playing with that, texting etc. Anything that will keep you busy.
You can also write yourself a little pep talk on a piece of paper and then hang it wherever your food is. For example- Don't eat unless you're hungry! Maintain the same weight and feel better about myself! I will feel so much better if I achieve this goal! Then whenever you're tempted to eat when you're bored, you'll read this and you will be able to walk away.
1 more thing.. reward yourself whenever you give it up. For example, If you're bored and decide to eat, go to the cabinet but get the strength to say no, walk away and do something else.. reward yourself after that! you acheived your goal and now its time to reward yourself. But don't let this reward be food.. let it be something else like splurging while you go shopping. Buying yourself something more expensive than usual. Or watching your favorite movie, or calling in sick to school or work and just staying home all day. any kind of reward you'd like (minus food)
good luck!
I work hard,I do what i have to do and its done right if i dont know how to do something i will learn.
good for you.
how do you want us to help though...?
Ok I was just wondering how do you get a guy to notice and look at you like when you pass them in the hallway? like to make them notice you and wanna talk. Cuz there is there are some really cute guys at my school but I only see them in the hallway so yeah! please help!!(: Thanks!!
"accidentally" bump into him and look at him, smile, then say "oops i'm sorry!" touch his arm if you want ;)
or you can pretend to drop something like a pencil and see if he makes a move to pick it up.
Or pretend you need to ask him something important like what the homework was or if he knows your friend. Use an excuse to talk to him :)
is there any other sicknesses with similar symptoms to mono? my doctor is convinced i dont have it but i have experienced many of the symptoms, such as one extremely swollen gland, loss of appitite, achiness, and i had a fever for a day. the fever just broke and now i have an itchy rash. i got tested for mono but the results arent back yet. just wondering if i have a shot at it NOT being mono
I had mono. One really obvious symptom is that you feel VERY tired and exhausted ALL THE TIME. I play a sport and I remember during the first 10 minutes of practice I would already get extremely fatigued and tired. All I wanted to do was sleep. Sometimes I slept at least 13 hours a night because I was so tired.
So I recently started hanging out with a new group of people because I started dating David, a really sweet boy I met a few months ago. I love his friends because they are all super crazy and fun and they know how to party and they are a very close knit group that actually like doing things together (which I always wanted). So basically dating David opened up this whole new lifestyle for me with constant activity and fun, and it's a dream come true. He's also very sweet and we love each other.
The problem?
In this group of friends there is one girl, Mia, who basically is in charge. She is dating Miguel, this really chill guy in the group and they are very very cute together, like the "it" couple. Everyone, myself included, loves them. However, this girl is basically the leader of the group in that whatever she wants to do, everyone follows. She is confident, very attractive and very cool. I'm not one to look for or need attention and I'm often cool with doing whatever everyone else wants to do, so this would not be a problem, except for, I cant help but feel weird about how much everyone (David included) talks about/fawns over her. It's not that I'm jealous, because I really admire her as well, but I get uncomfortable sometimes when I spend time with David and he talks about Mia and how she is...a lot. Plus I go to a different school on a different schedule than they do and so I cannot always hang out with them and David does because obviously they are his friends but one time he even blew off coming to see me because she wanted to go to a party (he went with her and her boyfriend and another friend).
I don't want all of this to sound petty, but I cant help feel that they all have high favoritism towards her, and it makes me feel anxious although I don't want it to and I try not to let it. I just don't know how I can feel better about this because I hate the fact that it makes me feel this way.
Also, it's not that I would EVER suspect David cheating or anything, this isn't the issue at all. Hes very sweet and he loves me and the thing about this whole ordeal is that I fit in very well with all of his friends but I don't get to see them that often so I'm not that close with all of them yet. I hope that once summer comes and I have free time I become closer to them, it just bothers me that I feel anxious about this girl when I shouldn't. I don't know how to make it stop. Advice?
Talk to your boyfriend about it in private. Just casually say something like "One day we should do something I want to do instead of always doing something Mia wants" then just confess to your boyfriend about how you're feeling. Tell him exactly what you told us.
Then, if you get enough courage, talk to Mia about it. In private of course. you don't have to be a bitch about it or anything. Make a suggestion and say something like "Saturday we should do this etc. etc. etc." If she comes up with her own plans, try saying "last week we did something you suggested, this week we should do something I suggest"
Again, try not to sound annoying or anything. Also, try taking notes about what kinds of plans she makes. Like if her plans are usually parties and shopping, then you should make your own plan that includes the things she likes. Maybe she doesn't take your suggestions into consideration because she doesn't like those plans?
Here's another big tip I have for you.. stand up for yourself! I know you like this new group of friends, but don't let them stamp all over you. Stand up for yourself and show them that they can't boss you around. For example, If they all decide to go to a party but you suggest going to a movie instead. And they all agree with Mia to go to this party, you should loudly just say "I really don't want to go to the party, I'm going to the movie instead. Join me if you'd like to" and then do what you want. Let them follow you.
The most likely reason why Mia is the leader of this group is because the rest are following her. She probably didn't "force" them to do anything.. they probably just followed her. So next time, you go your own separate path and see who follows you. If they don't follow you, then you can either just follow mia and deal with it.. or you can find another group that will respect YOUR decisions too.
good luck and inbox me if you need more help!
I'm really not sure whether I should try smoking pot again. I will absolutely, never, ever become a "pot head" but I'm not completely against doing it once in a while. I'm just a bit torn because my first experience with pot wasn't the best
My first experience with alcohol was fine. I was nervous at first being the sort of uptight, kind of anxious person I am, but it did nothing to me but made me giddy and kind of hyper. No crazy, unexpected feelings. Now, I probably drink, like once a week with friends. I went up to visit my older brother in college one weekend and he told me he wanted me to try smoking pot. I was very, very excited because I'd always wanted to feel what it's like to be high. My brother and his friends who have kind of become potheads showed me the bag of weed and told what "great stuff" it was and how high we would get. Anxiously, I went with my brother into the woods so we could smoke. I took 3 or 4 pretty big hits, we went back inside, and I felt a little lightheaded but nothing else.
Afterwards we went to a party at my brother's friends house and a lot of people were there, all of whom I didn't know. I had a few sips of alcohol but that was it. I was getting really anxious to smoke again. I was GOING to get high that night. We finally went to the back and smoked again. I had 3 HUGE hits. One was so big I almost threw up coughing.
A couple minutes later we went back in and I felt kind of sick, dizzy, and really out of it. Literally as I was telling my brother that I didn't feel good, I was hit with this crazy feeling of not being conscious for a second and not being inside my own body, and everything looked distorted for a second. I started crying hysterically and I was shaking and just felt so uncomfortable. I felt like I was going unconscious every other second.
We left immediately and I cooled down a little. We got back and it was just my brother and me in his room and we ate and listened to music and I laughed hysterically at everything and felt a lot better. I still felt like I was in outer space though, especially in the few minutes my brother's friend came into the room, in which I started feeling very uncomfortable again. So, the second half of my experience being stoned was quite pleasant but still a little freaky.
A few questions: Do you think I smoked too much and was overly high for my first time? Did the fact that this weed was such "good stuff" partly cause my little episode? Did my anxiety attack come from being in a foreign place with strangers? If I smoke again will I feel more comfortable since I know what to expect? Next time should I just try to ingest the smoke with out smoking a joint? or weed brownies? What are ways of preventing freaking out? Are there levels of high or are you just high? Is it normal to feel as out of it as I did just being moderately high?
I NEED closure with this. I will probably smoke again just because of that but I'd love to hear your thoughts. THANK YOU
If you want my honest opinion... don't smoke weed. don't smoke.. period. not even cigarettes. I'm a teenage girl and let me tell you this.. Its SO UNATTRACTIVE!!! i'm sorry if this isn't what you want to hear, but I find it extremely disgusting.. :/
But if you want to do it, fine go ahead. When I think about it.. It won't get you anywhere in life.. it doesn't benefit you.. so why do it then???
Your description pretty much says you felt uncomfortable and had anxiety attacks.. why would you want to feel like that again?? If I was in your shoes, I'd seriously wouldn't even think about doing it again. If it was that bad of an experience, I wouldn't want to experience that again. Dude, it doesn't get you anywhere in life. It doesn't help you at all.. its illegal.. did you ever think about that? what happens if you get caught? do you really want to risk that? what will all of your friends think about you? what about your family? won't you be ashamed..?
Think twice about this.. no 3 times. I wouldn't risk my health just for something so stupid like this.. I'm into sober fun. I feel better about myself that way. Instead of "getting high" and "drunk" in order to have fun..
Have you seen those commercials that say "above the influence?" yeah.. take a look at those commercials.. when someone takes hits or gets drunk, you're not yourself. You're changing your attitude and the way you perceive things differently. So in reality, you're not having any fun because its not the real you. When you're sober and not high, thats the real you. Wouldn't you want to go out and have fun and KNOW that YOU'RE having fun.. not some high dude inside of you. You won't even remember what you were doing. Do you really want to have fun that way??
Oh and 1 more thing.. put yourself in someone elses shoes.. like your family or a close friend. What do you think they would say about this? what do you think they would say about YOU? I'm pretty sure they would be disappointed in you. They raised you better than that. But of course, I don't know your family very well. But my family grew me up to be a smart girl. And I KNOW that getting drunk and high is not smart. Its not who I am, Its not who I want to be. Think about this.. seriously..
You will get much more respect and appreciation from people if you don't get involved with the wrong things like getting drunk for fun or getting high for fun.
Dear lovealways 1221,
I am 18 and a girl. It says to put that...anyways, i have been dating my boyfriend for almost a year, we are happy together but for the past 2 months he has been away at Basic Training for the Army. He still has two months to go and its been killing me, i feel empty and alone without him. Then this past week a friend of mine from the Marines came back from basic (i was going to join the Marines, thats how we met) the most he ever said to me was hi but i messaged him on Facebook to see how things were going and we ended up hanging out, for the past few days we have been either together or texting nonstop, the worst part is not only does he have a girlfriend, but he keeps telling me he wished he has said more than hi to me, and that he is really going to miss me when he leaves, and all this stuff about how he wants to be with me and it sucks we cant be together. Hes not the player type, i think he is just as confused as i am, plus he is in infantry so he is leaving really soon to be deployed, i know its horrible but im going to miss him and i cant stop thinking that what if when i see my Soldier in two months all i can think about is this Marine!? What do i do? Do i chose the Soldier i know will be there and possibly settle, or do i try my feelings with the Marine?
Sign Military Confused!
Ok here's what I think.. my answer i'm about to provide you with is based on a past experience.
Here's what happened to me.
My ex and I were dating for 7 months and things weren't going that well. He wanted a break. So we took a few weeks off and those 2 weeks were hell for me. I missed him so much. Couldn't stop crying and I felt terrible. He said he still had feelings for me but just needed a break to think about himself. I had a feeling that we would get back together but at the same time I missed him so unbelieveably much. It was like a part of me was missing. Anyways, so we took like 2 or 3 weeks break. I went to the beach to relax and I met a guy there. We talked and after a few days we couldn't stop talking. I suddenly realized that I was happy again. Then my ex called me and said he wanted to get back together. Which one to choose? (sound familiar?) I thought about it for a while. Here's what my mistake was.. I lead both of them on. it was a big disaster. I ended up not taking either of them
So to answer your question.. I don't know what you should do. Its really your choice. Its what YOU want. I have no idea what you want.. only you know that. You need to take some time apart from guys, like I did. Focus on yourself and listen to your heart. You have to make this decision. If you still don't know what to do, I wouldn't pick either of them and see which one of them comes to you first.
Don't find love. Let love find you. Thats why its called falling in love. You don't force yourself to fall.. you just fall..
Please help me get rid of my pimples in a cheap way! I have very sensitive skin and I already use skin astringent and st.ives but the pimples wont go away! They mostly come up around my nose and it is SOOOOO embarressing! What should I do to make them leave and stay away???
you need better hygiene. use a face wash that is specifically used for acne, like Clean and Clear Deep Action acne wash. Then use a moisturizer for your face that is also used for acne- like Aveeno Clear Complexion. Make sure you don't make your face dirty by applying make-up on, or touching your face. If you do have to touch your face, make sure your hands are clean. Wash them! Drink lots of water too. It helps keep your skin and body healthy. Have a good diet, too much fatty foods and junk food will make you lazy and tired, which means you won't be committed to get clear skin. At night, wash your face again and apply the moisturizer (do this 2 times a day) and then use a spot cream like Clean and Clear Acne spot treatment. Just dab a little of the ointment on the pimple and it is supposed to "dry" out the pimple and get rid of it over night. keep your sheets clean because bacteria can get on them.
another good thing which has helped me so much is heat and steam. Try finding a steam room. Theres usually some in gyms or fitness centers like Lifetime Athletic Center. Or you could just take a hot shower and let the bathroom steam up. The steam helps open your pores and then you wash your face in the steam and it really gets your face clean. If you have 1 big pimple, take a Q-tip or the edge of a towel and run it under HOT water. Then take it and hold it on the pimple. Its gonna hurt because basically you're burning your skin since the water is so hot, but what this does is kills the bacteria inside the pimple. High heat kills the bacteria. Steam rooms are so good for you. Not only for your face, but for your body and your health. Trust me. It won't work if you go just once though.. you have to go in like every other day or even every day. You'll see results in about a week.
Oh and you mentioned you're getting pimples around your nose? Try using nose strips. try Biore nose strips. You wet your nose, then put the strip on and then wait 10 minutes. the strip gets really stiff and dry and you peel it off, which will peel off the bacteria and dirt with it. It really cleans your nose since its so hard to reach the small corners.
Oh and 1 more thing- exfoliate! Do this like 1 time a week. There's a lot of products out there but my favorite is the Apricot Scrub. There's little seeds and sand in the wash and basically it just takes off the excess dead and dry skin. It leaves your skin so soft and smooth because the dead skin is taken off :)
i am 13 and i just started cutting myself on my wrist i mean they arent deep but there still cuts idk what to do bc it feels so good but i really want to stop i look at the cuts and i do it again i use bobby pins what should i do i told my mom and dad anad there getting me help but i dont think thats going to help ill still do it what should i do ?
take a marker or even sharpie (permanent marker) and write a positive word on your wrists. here are some ideas
STAY STRONG
LOVE
I LOVE MYSELF
BE HAPPY
FREEDOM
BE YOURSELF
PEACE
HAPPINESS
JOY
SMILE!
STAY POSITIVE
when you write positive things on your wrists, next time you'll get the urge to cut, you'll see these words and it will remind you to stop and to be happy. Chose a word or phrase that means a lot to you.
I love being aten out but my boyfriend wont do it cuz i cant come in his face is there any techniques too cuz i would love to be aten out again I need advice!!
tell him he's immature for whining.. seriously if he's upset because you can't cum, then he's way too immature. go for the mature guys.. they won't get mad at stupid and silly things like this..
Me and one of my best friends from my softball team have been fighting so much recently! She is who i told everything to and now i have noone to talk to. She is the one that needs to apologize but shes ignoring me. What should i do? and dont say for me to talk to her about it cause i have.
my best advice: ignore her and let her come to you.
I had a big fight with my friend and i know it might sound selfish but she's the whole reason the fight started. I was so stubborn and didn't want to say i'm sorry first, because she started it. I tried talking to her but she didn't want to hear it. so I just got fed up with her and the problem and ignored her for a good 3 or 4 weeks.
At first i felt lonely.. nobody to talk to.. but after 2 weeks I felt good :) i felt independent. I felt happy. She wasn't around to boss me. or make me feel worse about myself. or to push me down and cause problems.. it felt good. then eventually I started talking to other friends and got close with them.
its been 3 months and now she is begging to forgive me. she wants to be my friend again and says shes sorry. I could forgive her and let her be my friend, but what would I learn from that?? I decided not to be her friend because I've been happy without her around to boss me and make me feel bad. I'm so glad I ignored her and left her alone. Not only do I feel better about myself, but I get the pleasure to laugh at her face when she's begging me back. hahaha.
but anyways, i suggest you just stop talking to her and see where it goes from that. some friendships just end right then an there.. some will take a break.. and some friendships might get back together if they are mean't to be.
ok so today me and my bf almost had sex but it hurt me alot! and he wasnt even in.
he said it was ok and stopped and that he would never hurt me... then just cuddled me :)
anyways he also gave me this stunning necklace today..
i want to say i love you i just want to say it in a really cute way.. any suggestions?
do something romantic and sweet for him, like bake him cookies or his favorite meal. eat in a dim light with some candles and dress up cute. curl your hair and wear a dress. look into his eyes and just gaze at them. wait until he looks at you. then sigh. and say "i'm in love with you" and hold his hand and kiss him for a very long time. don't let go. just cuddle with him and smile a lot.
what is sex?
are you kidding?
14/f
I have a once great 'best friend' whom I was very close to, but lately she's been a bitch and baby, honestly, and flipping on my other friend and me over nothing. I can't take it anymore. Should I stay her friend?
I don't think you should stay friends with her. It seems like she feels better about herself when she puts others down. You don't want to surround yourself with people like that. They will just make you feel worse and can cause potential drama. Trust me thats happened to me before and it sucks. I say just leave her to rot on her own. If she's smart, she'll realize that you're a great friend and lost something important and she might come back to you. Until then, just leave her and her problems. You don't need any of that :) you're 14! be young and have fun! don't let other people bring you down! she's not a real friend if she acts this way. you can find someone worthy of you :)
well im a 11 year old girl, 12 next month, i want to know if im a slut? i finger my self, flirt with lots of boys, and i love it when boys touch my butt or touch me up and i watch porn.
am i a slut?
i also talk to older men online and send them pics. and i REALLY want to have sex!
...yeah... thats disgusting..
I usually wear flats quite a bit, but they seem to wear out so quickly! I wear them with bare feet, thin socks, and pantyhose, but it always seems that the insides get a lot of marks from my feet and look beat up. Does this happen to other girls and do you have any methods of making this not happen as much? They also make my feet really smelly depending on what I wear on my feet too lol
there's sole inserts made my dr. scholls. use those. they help keep the shape of the shoe. as for not making them look beat up.. well thats just on you. You should take care of your shoes better. The minute you start to see your shoes getting dirty, its your responsibility to clean them and take care of them. If you don't clean them, then they will look beat up. So thats just your fault.
As for smelly feet, its because the shoes are dirty.. clean your shoes and clean your feet.. then they wont smell.
Also it could be because your shoes are too tight. Make sure you get some shoes that allow air flow. I know it seems weird to get air flow because then the bad smell will flow out and people will be able to smell them more.. but thats false. If you have more air flow in your shoes, then your feet don't sweat as much. And when your feet don't sweat, they won't smell. You can also put baby powder in your shoes. It absorbs the sweat and keeps them feeling clean and fresh. Or febreeze them.
im goind out with this really CUTE guy but wen we talk his and my friends always come around and it bothers us and he and i get mad at our friends and if it keeps happening our relation ship might end and i dont want that to happen i'll be sad forever :,[ please help!!!!
if they are trying to ruin your relationship with this guy... well their are either
A. jealous that you have such an awesome guy :) so embrace it. even if they say mean things, just laugh it off and know that he's YOURS not theirs. Laugh at them and know that they can say the worst things, but no matter what happens, they will always be jealous because you have him.
B. not real friends. This one happens to me the most. I have so many friends who I thought were real friends but they turned out to be fake friends. They were not loyal to me at all. They didn't care about how i felt. They just used me and tried to make me feel worse about myself. So if this sounds like your friends.. your best bet is to get rid of them. I know it sucks but honestly you can find way better friends who will appreciate you and your man.
I recently started my period and Im a swimmer. But I cant find the right hole to put the tampon in, every time I try it doesnt work. And Ive wasted about twenty tampons!!!!!!!! HELP ME!!!!!! Where do I put it?!?! Holly, from North Carolina
use a mirror to help you. first just observe for a while. dont even touch a tampon yet. just take a mirror and look around. use your fingers to feel around down there. There's something called your Labia. Those are also called "lips" they are used to protect the vagina. when you have sex or use tampons, you need to use your fingers to separate those 2 lips. once you open them, you'll be able to see the vagina more clearly. now you have to understand how your vagina is angled. It doesn't go straight up and down. Its angled towards your middle of your back.
also, you might be using the wrong kind of tampons. since you're a beginner, get playtex. they come in regular and slender. Use the slender ones first since they are used for beginners.
ok so put the mirror on the floor, spread your legs and use 2 fingers to spread the lips. then take the other hand (holding the tampon) and put the tip on the vagina. angle it towards your middle back and carefully slide it in. Also, this really helped me when I started. Instead of pushing it in right away. try to twist it back and forth while you push it in. This helps it glide easier. keep on pushing until the big part of the tampon is all the way in (so your fingers are touching your body. your fingers should hold the grip of the tampon) then after that.. the hardest part is over! you just push the stick into the tampon, that will release the tampon inside of you and then you pull out the rest of it from your vagina and TA DA! its over!
so yeah, the hardest part is just getting the first part in. Theres a diagram in the tampon box, which should help. If not, youtube it or google it. There's lots of diagrams, videos, and information about tampons out there.
hope i helped and good luck!
What should I look for the makes me look my best??
..... some more information about you would help....
I was swimming at an indoor pool last week on vacation. My friend thought it would be funny to push me in but she didnt do it right and I hit the edge and broke my back and now I am in a wheel chair and cant walk for a while til after a few years (if that) of therapy. So im stuck with two things...number one, I am so scared and mad because i am super athletic and now i cant even walk!! number two, my friend cries all the time and wont leave her home cause she feels so terrible and bad about what she has done. I was SOO mad at her for a while because if it wasnt for her, i wouldnt be this way. However, i have to forgive her but she is so afraid to see me. She wont answer my calls or let me see her in person because she will break down if she sees me in the chair! I want to tell her its ok and i know she didnt mean to and still hang out ans stuff but were not speaking right now and shes my best friend. Ive even tried to talk to her parents but she told them not to talk to me either. Were best friends and i need her more now than ever so what should i do?
awh! first off, i'm so sorry!! :(
you should give your friend some time. You said it happened last week? try giving her another few weeks to absorb it all in and to cool off. After a few weeks, try talking to her again. Leave a voicemail, a letter in the mail, a letter in her school locker etc. Simply say whats on your heart. Tell her that you were mad at her at first, but now realize it was an accident. Accidents happen.. its a part of life. Next time, she will know better. She learned her lesson. Let her know that you aren't mad at her anymore. Tell her that she's your best friend, and that you need her now more than ever. Let her know you forgive her.
also, what you can try doing is this. During the next few weeks (while you're giving her a break to cool off) you should make a journal. each day write down whats on your mind (dont forget to add the date for each entry) For example- today I went to therapy and learned some new things. I really wish my friend was here to support me. she understands me so well and without her, I don't feel as strong. She means a lot to me and even though she caused this, i want her here with me to support me and help me get better.
then when you 2 start talking again, show her this journal. it will show her your true emotions and how you were feeling those days. it will show her how much you need her and how much she means to you.
good luck and i hope you feel better!