Member Since: August 7, 2012
Answers: 1038
Last Update: August 2, 2021
Visitors: 29778
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Is it possible to get pregnant when he comes in the condom but it isn't broken or anything? (link)
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Your partner is going to to come into the condom every time you have sex, that's how they work. If it isn't broken in any way then that's where his semen stays, so you won't become pregnant. Incorrect use reults in it either breaking, or slipping off. Then it's quite possible to become pregnant. It's essential that he puts the condom on before he penetrates you at all. And that it stays in place until he's 'finished off' and withdrawn his penis completely. It's very foolish to begin sex WITHOUT the condom, intending to stop and put it on just before he wants to 'come' as there is always the possibility that he will either ejaculate unexpectedly (which you'll know about), or release some semen before he actually finishes off (neither of you might be aware that this has even happened). In short, as long as ALL his semen ends up inside the condom and stays there, and none of it ends up inside YOU, you've used it properly.
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Hi, I have recently come across this website that basically has a bunch of young girls (all 17 or under) in pictures in their underwear or short shorts or pictures showing off their butts. None nude but some are just in bras and underwear. I was wondering is this website legal? I'm guessing since the young girls aren't fully nude its not considered child pornography? Could someone please help me understand if this is legal to be on the internet/why it is allowed? (link)
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Pictures of clothed (even skimpy clothed) girls under 18 do not constitute illegal child pornography and have every right to be on the internet. Most of them were probably posted on facebook or some similar social media site in the first place and were posed and shot with their knowledge and permission. If a seventeen year-old girl wants to post some pics of herself looking fashionable and sexy in her 'short shorts' that's perfectly legal. Good thing too, I reckon. I hope we're not so paranoid/mixed-up that we want to prevent girls wanting to be girls. It's exactly what they wear out and about, on the beach and so on. We're not about to have a short shorts police and bikini squad rounding them up and confiscating their selfies!! Porn is explicit pictures of the models displaying their genitalia, and/or indulging in sexual acts. Naturally, this is NOT OK for minors. Professional photographers (or more precisely publishers/the studio in most cases) need to keep documented Model Release Forms, proving that the models were in full consent and 18 years of age or over when the pictures were obtained if they are pornographic. The records can be checked, and are. Posing/dressing the model to look younger (typical young teen outfits, even school uniforms) is not illegal. If you come across pictures of what are CLEARLY underage persons (very young children, even) in sexually explicit poses you should report it. It's a pretty vile business. Someone's been exploited for the pictures to even exist. Porn studios and photographers (and the admirers of their work among the public at large, and there are plenty) don't like child porn either. An adult model posing/acting as a teen, cheerleader, college girl etc? That's fine. Even if it's sexually explicit. Girl of seventeen posting a snap of herself in her 'sexy shorts'? Nothing to worry about here either really, is there? Sexually explicit photos and videos of minors? Bad news. Banned from the mainstream, and righly so.
ps. Appreciate that different contries have different ages of sexual consent. It's 16 in the UK where I live for instance. This makes no difference to anything in our question. You cannot legally pose for (as the model) or procure (as the publisher/studio/photographer)still or moving sexually explicit images of anyone under 18. Anywhere. Under any circumstances. It's a sensible rule, I think? If the host site is in a country where the age of consent is 16, it's still illegal.
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I am a girl and I am 13 and I really have a crush on this boy named Corey but he's the popular one and I don't know if he likes me! Although he was dating my best friend so I don't know what to do should I tell him or no! I really don't know what to do so please help and I wanna date him and we always hang out and I don't know if I should tell him or no and it's ok if it gets serious so please just help me
(link)
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If he's not with your friend anymore you should be OK. Can't guarantee she won't have a brief bit of envy (if she was rather they were still together, and he ended things) but it's not usually a friendship-wrecking thing because she'll realise you are NOT keeping them apart. And he wouldn't be dating her even if you weren't around. Give it a shot mate. Might hit, might miss. But I gurantee you one thing. You miss 100 percent of the shots you don't take! Good luck.
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you know like when you are doing "things" with yourself and there is nobody with you? sorry for being stupid. :( (link)
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You're not being stupid. But you can enjoy whatever 'things' you want to on your own, as much as you like. There's zero chance of becoming pregnant. Neither will doing them with another girl. There's got to be a guy there. Get some info as and when you do start including a boyfriend in things though, won't you? And before you start.
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Hi, I'm 17, female. I have been with my boyfriend for over six months now and have been absolutely in love. He has been my best friend for two years and I couldn't ask for better. I recently went on and off Prozac for depression a couple of times, and this last time I started if, I was in New York on vacation. I started feeling really withdrawn from my boyfriend, whom I loved very much. I started feeling numb. I returned home and stopped the medicine because my crying spells got worse and I was feeling no emotions towards him almost. It upset me really bad and frustrated me as to why it was happening. I want to be in love with him. I want to believe this is all in my head or has something to do with the medicine. I have been off Prozac for almost a week now and I'm
Not feeling better yet. I just want some opinions. I go back and fourth on if I'm happy in my relationship and in love that by the end of the day I'm mentally exhausted. Please help, any advice is appreciated. (link)
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Afraid anxiety and depression medication will tend to make you feel desensitised to strong emotions. Bit numb. Detached. Tearful episodes not uncommon either, particularly if you're that way inclined. Mood swings and mental exhaustion are also common. Have a word with your doctor. If you have been on the meds for a while, at a medium to highish dose it's NOT usually a great idea to just stop. And stopping and starting randomly is not a great idea either. It's usually best practice to reduce them slowly, especially if you're experiencing big mood swings. Big symptom of anxiety condition itself is intensified fears and worries that something bad is waiting to happen. It's because you're always on a sort of 'red alert' condition. In the moments when you manage to 'step down' from this 'threat response mode' you will feel tired, and it feels like a massive 'slump' or 'low'. That's because you've got used to being keyed-up all the time. Anti-anxiety meds control some of the symptoms like sweating, heart beating faster or 'heavier' than usual, shakes, chest feeling 'tight', breathless...generally the stuff we call a 'panic attack'. If you're experiencing stuff like this it's time for a chat with the doctor. It's also extremely likely that anxiety will target something very meaningful and important to you. That's the relationship with your boyfriend, eh? Does he know about the depression? And what certainly seems to be anxiety too? If not, tell him right now. And explain that it might lead to some turbulent behaviour while you're working through things. He won't want to be seeing his girlfriend tearful at times, sometimes withdrawn, maybe sometimes 'wired' and jumpy, and NOT KNOW WHY. At least I wouldn't. I'd like to be in the loop so I could understand, help where I could and just be there for her. It takes a lot of the pressure and conflict out of a relationship if we all know where we stand. Talk through how you're feeling with him. Often. Keep the dialogue going. You'll get there.
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Are you supposed to stop going to music festivals, as a woman, once you hit age 30? Unless you're one of the musicians? I don't get it. Older women can't enjoy music just the same as younger women? There's something strange about people thinking it's desperate for Fergie to have fun with girls half her age, like Gigi Hadid and Kendall Jenner. Not that I'm putting anyone on a pedestal, I don't get what an age difference would have to do with friendship, you know. Or why people see something sad about the whole thing? Same with people's criticism of Madonna, for not suddenly becoming matronly, just because she's getting older. A 60 year old has as much right to show off herself as sexy as a 20 year old, and it's so messed up to me how so many people are opposed, like the world is controlled by their dick or vagina's ideas of beauty. (link)
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Probably about identity and engagement. Teenaged fans identify with, thus engage with younger performers. It's less likely for a seventeen year-old music fan to strongly identify with a much older performer, like Madonna. And you'll usually find that shows, and festivals with predominantly younger performers typically attract a younger audience, and vice versa. There are exceptions, many of them, at any show. But Madonna has her 'target audience'. Boybands have their target fans. Female performers who quite blatantly base their image and stage persona on 'youth' can't really be surprised if it does not last into middle-age can they? We can't have it both ways. Anything which is 'in fashion' must necessarily go 'out of fashion'. There can be only one 'leading/cutting edge'. If Madonna wants to dress and perform in a way more usually associated with a much younger woman, she has every right to do so. If people think that it is inappropriate, or somewhat ridiculous in appearance that is their right. What we do or say is our choice. How people react to it is, and will always be, THEIRS. Afraid nothing is going to change that. Are we likely to see the tendency for young girls to identify with and admire much older women? Are younger guys going to find them more attractive and easier to engage with than younger women? Can't see it, can you? Can an older performer convincingly put across the emotions, spirit and issues that are pertinent to teenagers either in their performance or the songs they write? This all works the other way round too, naturally. There will perhaps always be 'serious' singers and songwriters who transcend age and fashion. They are very few. Pop music (in all it's factions, don't say "I only like 'mega death-speed metal' that's different"...it's all 'popular music' in essence) is part of pop culture. It's transient. Here today, gone tomorrow, forgotten next week...as it were. How it should be and must be. How deeply do you want to look for your answer? The music business IS a business. Pop music doesn't just 'happen'. It's a product. Recordings, concert tickets and merchandising are commodities. They are designed and presented so that certain groups of people, grouped together by age and lifestyle etc (it's called a 'demographic') will engage with them, want them and buy them. If your IN the demographic you'll 'get it'. If you're outside the demographic you won't be much concerened or engaged with it. But if you're outside the demographic you're NOT part of the market, so what you think won't make any difference to the way it's presented and marketed.
So, a young girl wants to be like her young, sassy and sexy female media idol and embrace what she embraces. Young guys would like to appeal to the young star, they'd love to date (among other things!) her. And the young female fan might well think "I wish I had Madonna's fame, money and life-style." But do they ever think "God...I wish I was 60" ???
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I know that Prazosin is used for PTDS and assorted anxiety disorders. Are there any herbs or supplements that can offer similar benefits?
FYI - I currently take Prozac for OCD. (link)
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DEFINITELY check with your doctor before using any herbal or natural 'stress relief' preparations, pills etc. Some of them can co-exist with these type of medication, some cannot. While they might be mildly palliative, or even quite effective in relieving stress and anxiety symptoms in persons NOT on prescribed medication, they can have undesirable side-effects (and/or reduce the effectiveness of the meds) on those who ARE. You need to show the doctor which one(s) you have your eye on. And ask specifically, are they OK with what I'm on? If it's sort of 'borderline' or 'status unknown' for any particular one, don't take it. The prescribed stuff is they key player, and you don't want to compromise it's effectiveness.
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F/17 I have heard that after you loose your Virginity your hips get wider is that true? I also have 2 other questions after you have had intercourse I know you bleed and I want to know for how long and when does it start exactly? (link)
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Like Dragonflymagic said, there may be a little blood-loss when a girl has penetrative sex for the first time. It begins during sex but is generally only noticed when your boyfriend withdraws his penis afterwards. It will not (or at least should not) be heavy, profuse or prolonged 'bleeding'. Being 'wet' internally might make it look more than it actually is too. (Think about how a very minor bleed from a gum looks more because you it mixes with your saliva and 'stains' it red). The hips thing is nonsense. Yes, bearing a child and giving birth. Having sex, no. Another reason for the myth might be that a girls figure does get more 'womanly' as she matures. Hips and bust fill out showing a noticeable waist. Young girls (before puberty) are kind of straight and 'boyish' in shape. And of course, a girl is likely to dress in ways that accentuate her 'curves' at the same period. The myth is a case of putting the cart in front of the horse. The more womanly figure is a sign that the girl is maturing sexually, and will become sexually active when she chooses. Sexual activity is not causing the more womanly shape. OK?
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I used to work at a child care facility before it closed down in June 2011. When we closed, I took a lot of paperwork and file info with me. Just yesterday, I was cleaning out some of that old info and found an envelope marked "lunch money refund" for a particular family with $32 in it.
I'm not sure of whether or not I can even reach these people.
If I cannot contact them, what do you think would be the "right thing" to do with the cash?
(link)
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Doubt you have much chance of tracing the intended recipient nearly four years after closure of the establishment. Are you even sure it isn't a refund TO the establishment BY a client? I might write lunch money 'refund' on the envelope and pop it in a drawer under such circumstances and never get around to banking it? Small discrepancies like this in company accounts often go unnoticed until a month-end or longer, they get sorted eventually. But if the company closes they would possibly never be rectified. If you can't trace it I'd either keep it, or (as mentioned) give it to a charity. We have 'Charity Shops' in the UK and they very often have useful household stuff in very good (even boxed and unused) condition. How about keeping the cash and if you see something useful sometime you could buy it and tell them to keep the change, even if it's more than the price of the object. The charity get all the money, plus YOU get something useful. A good result for everyone!
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I served in the army for 10 years as a REME Armourer. By the time I left, I had become a class 1 Armourer, responsible for the inspection, repair, maintenance and servicing of all small arms and pistols, machine guns, mortars, Milan missile sytem, warrior turrets and 30mm rarden cannon.
I hoped to work as a gunsmith but was told, all my qualifications and experience was not recognised as a civilian gunsmith. I have searched on line for courses to take, to become qualified, but there are none in Uk. Is the information I was given true, my experience in the repair and maintenance of all these different weapons count for nothing? If so, where can I get the qualifications to be recognised? Why are military qualifications not recognised? I would like to see a civilian gunsmith repair a weapon whilst being shot at in a very hot country and then after the repair is complete, return to being a soldier (link)
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Does seem bizarre that the ability to work on hardware like this doesn't have some transferrable civillian qualifaction. Where you would, I imagine be mostly called upon to clean, modify and repair sporting guns (which haven't really changed in 100 years!). I reckon any any existing gunsmith, or big field-sports store (who might want an in-house gunsmith, maybe who worked as sales adviser/representative too) couldn't get you on the staff quick enough with that background. Have you tried just writing speculative letters to all and anyone who might be a possibility? Put your position clearly and concisely, asking to be considered for any vacancy if or when it arises. I know spec letters are a bit of a hit or miss approach but just one positive reply is all you need. I'd make it paper and ink letters. Unsolicited emails to 'the manager' or 'head of recruitment' of companies rarely get read. Can't think of much else I'm afraid. I think it's fair to say shooting is more popular than it was ten or 15 years ago, but it's still quite a minority thing. Even if there were courses, and millitary qualifications were transferrable you'd probably be lucky to find an employer on your doorstep as it were, and have to be prepared to travel. Can one work as a self-employed gunsmith and offer services? Or are there legal restrictions? Or does it involve really expensive machinery and tools? If it's legally possible, and practical to equip your own workshop and work from home, is there an option to pursue this path? My own experience (as owner, and of shotguns only, not gunsmith) was that one only had to show safe storage(an approved gun safe) to the Police fireamrs department officer to be able to keep guns at home. Can't remember the number any one person could have at any time, but surely that could be worked around by having them brought-in for pre-arranged work? Best of luck chap.
ps Maybe include sporting gun clubs in your mailing list for spec letters. And definitely approach them if you were to go single-handed. They've got lots of members and every member will have at least one gun. Could well be wanting their latest piece 'fitted'. Trap-men love having strange chokes fitted and mods to the stock-length and profile and stuff. Lots of work opportunities there!
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I want A Relationship But Every Guy I Meet I Sleep With Him Within The First Two Week's. Then He End's Up Losing interest Within A Couple Week's. I'm Young & want to Date Not Jus Have Sex After A Few Dates But Get To Know A Person & So On..I Think I'm A Who're But I would really like to change that. And Find The Inner Me An Not Jus Club Every Weekend & Party 24/7 . I'm 23 & A Females (link)
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You're certainly not a whore, don't worry about that. I'd say the issue is that if you provide pretty much instant gratification you're going to attract guys who want instant gratification. And not be surprised if once satisfied, the attraction quickly fades. The guy has made virtually NO investment in YOU as a person. What little he has invested has immediately reaped it's intended reward. This is a great recipe for 'something we can easily walk away from'. We attract not so much what we aspire to be, more what we appear to already be. If you both wanted casual 'no strings' encounters then you would both have your expectations fully met and there would be no conflict of expectation. Which is what it's all about really, isn't it? You're expecting 'more' from these encounters and feel bitterly dissappointed when it does not materialise? Your 'inner me' has to become your 'outer me' as well. In fact your 'entire me'. We have defined 'integrity' here I think? You can't fake it. You can't buy. Or sell it. If you can it's not integrity. The 'cost' of integrity is your whole self. Nothing less. You have identified what you DO NOT want, by practical experience. The desire to change is all we need to change. Without the desire to change we keep on doing what we're doing. So for you, 24/7 clubbing and partying has lost it's allure? So have it's devotees? Little point continuing to take your bucket to a well that has nothing in it for you any more, is there? You don't need authorisation or validation. Re-invent and redefine yourself. Lose interest in the sort of guys who lose interest in you FIRST!
Incidentally, both whore and punter DO get exactly what they expected from the liaison. So you are most definitely NOT one. Which is where we started, isn't it?
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I'm 15 and a female and my period is late by a couple of days and i have recently dry humped , I know I am not pregnant because you cant get pregnant by dry humping. I just wish to know if dry humping can affect my period cycle and if it doesn't affect the cycle then what is....please help I'm really worried (link)
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I'll second your reply. Irregular periods not uncommon comparatively early-on in the fertile years of a woman. And dry humping cannot influence your period cycle. This is just your body producing and presenting ova for fertilisation, and subsequently shedding them if they remain unfertilised. It's a good idea to think of the process taking a while to 'get into it's stride' as you might say, and become more regular. Unless there is anything particularly unusal about your period when it does happen. In which case a consultation with the doctor is in order.
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How do you give great blowjobs? To make him feel good . (link)
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Like most things, being good is all about practice. You get an idea of what really 'works' for your guy, what's 'OK' and what doesn't really do much for him. If he wants you to do it, and you want to do it, it will still feel great and be very pleasurable even first time. Just the fact that you're doing it will make him feel good.The finer points of technique come as you go along. You can't really do it 'wrong'. With a couple of exceptions. Cover your upper and lower fron teeth with your lips, definitely when you're starting. Don't want to accidentally give him an unexpected nip! And though it's called a 'blow job' the one thing you must NEVER do is close your lips around his penis and actually BLOW. It can cause proper physical damage to the guy. You'd be amazed how much pressure a normal pair of lungs can create. Like Ocalapphernella said, don't rush into the deep-throating thing. Yeah, I know guys are sort of really excited about girls who can do it. It's usually cos they watch too much porn mate! It takes a lot of trust, control and practice to get it right. Get it wrong and you'll just gag and choke, and very probably throw-up all over him. That's NOT very sexy, is it? Gross, and damned embarrassing more like!! Work on that later, if you feel inclined. Other than watch your teeth, don't actually blow and don't try and swallow his entire length like a porn actress (Not JUST yet, eh?) you'll be fine. The 'practicing/learning about you partner' thing is enjoyable in itself. Have fun!
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We adopted a Chihuahua/Terrier mix a month and a half ago. (She's 5 months now.) She weighs about 9.5 lbs. She has a double coat, the top coat kind of wiry.. The bottom coat smooth. She still has floppy ears, but they stand up occasionally.
She has pretty big paws, and semi long legs.
Standing up she's about to where my calf is (I'm 5' 7")
I'm thinking she's a Westie Terrier Chihuahua mix, but my mom says she's a Glenn of Imall..
But I don't know.. So what do you think? (link)
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With that bloodline she's certainly not going to become a long-legged monster pulling you along by the leash! I reckon the top of her head is unlikely to be your any higher than your knee. The West Highland Terriers are not big dogs, the Chihauhau is tiny. You know the 'stock' it's come from. A pup of unknown and very mixed origin could totally confound your expectations (unless you have very good eye and spot 'big dog' characteristics early)and grow and grow.
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Hi guys! So For a really long time (at least three years) I've been crazy worried about my weight. I'm female, 5'9, and weigh 136lbs. I almost never eat over 950 calories unless I'm out of town for the day, and I go to the gym and work off around 150-200 calories. On days I don't go to the gym, I eat around 700. Today I ate 644 calories. My mom thinks I may be giving myself low blood sugar, and my dad thinks Ive put myself into starvation mode, and I think it may be an eating disorder. The thing about this is, I have another condition that makes me pass out more often than normal, and when I eat too few calories I black out and sometimes pass out. What will happen if I continue eating like this? And is low calorie intake the same thing as under eating? I know calories is what you need to live, so does anyone have an answer? And by the way, I honestly don't think I can stop this eating habit, just in case some say eat food with higher calories. Thank you in advance! (link)
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Difficult to say, but eating disorders are more typically indicated by an irrational belief on the part the sufferer that they are 'really fat'. Even when they get to the point of significant malnutrition and are little more than 'skin and bone' they still believe they are fat, and still see a fat person in the mirror. You strike me more as becoming a little bit too health/weight obsessed. You've got some pretty exact and specific figures here comparing your calorie intake and useage. In essence, yes a low calorie intake is the same as undereating. But it's not the same as an eating disorder which is a (bad) sort of coping mechanism and has psychological and self-image entailments. While your calorie intake exceeds those you use you will not actually starve to death. But remember that the biological mechanisms of just 'living' (respiration, digestion of the food itself, brain activity and so on) are ALSO burning calories. A good example of the input/output balance might be a predatory animal (say one of the big cats, leopard etc). The energy it will stand to gain from eating it's prey has to exceed the energy it will use running it down, catching and killing it. If the cat gets it wrong too many times (the hunt is long and hard, and/or maybe he doesn't catch it at all) he's in trouble. Don't want YOU getting in trouble, do we?
Low blood sugar will tend to give you muscle cramping, feelings of extreme fatigue, difficulty concentrating. Followed by shaking. Eventually you'll pass out in extreme cases. You've got a tendency to blacking out. So you really DO need to keep an eye on getting enough energy into your body mate. Our bodies do have signals when we need more energy. Heart speeding up, bit of a sweat, a shake in your hand? Feel a bit light-headed or 'fuzzy'? You need to get some sugar into you quick. Hunger is simply a signal our body sends to our mind that we need more input. If you feel mad hungry after the gymn, or at random times....EAT SOMETHING! Our bodies 'first choice' for energy conversion is the sugars. (there are different types). Carbohydrtae converts to sugar. So taking in both will 'fuel' you. It's not actually that keen on burning fats, oddly enough. But it's the unburnt sugars/carbs that TURN to fat (to be stored away in/by your body). It's been a lot of 'background' stuff so far. In the practical sense, OK you want to be fit and healthy and be a nice 'shape'. That's great. But don't overdo things mate! And get all the dope. How about doing some research on the net about good weight for your age and height and stuff? Body Mass Index. Typical calorie intake. Excercise 'burn rates' , and what regime might be specific to the parts of your body you want to especially hone, tone-up and polish-up? Has your gym got personal trainers? Many have . If so discuss all this stuff with him/her. Mention the black-out condition though. I doubt it will rule-out exercie, but you might need to 'tweak' the work-out amount/duration or type. Or maybe taking some glucose tablets/drinks or something? Weight isn't the single factor remember. Muscle weighs more than fat. A well-toned, in-shape young woman looks FAR better (to other women, and us guys!) than one who is just 'skinny'. No-one 'sees' your actual weight. Hope there's SOMETHING in here that might be of help?
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I think that I might have anxiety but I don't know how to bring it up to my parents. They would never get me therapy and if I even brought up therapy my dad would mock me. But I don't know what to do because it's getting worse and I'm not sure if this makes any sort of sense but I always feel like there's a knot in my stomach because I'm always nervous and my palms are sweaty and my underarms are sweaty and I'm shaky and I've felt this way for almost 2 years now. There's only been one time in the past 2 years that I've actually felt calm. I had just finished an essay that was due the next day and it was 3 am and I thought that I was never going to get it done but then I did and it felt like there was a tight belt around my stomach that had been unbuckled and I could finally breath but that feeling was gone when I woke up the next morning. I'm only 14 so I can't go get therapy or any sort of help myself because anything I tell my school counselor goes straight to my parents. it's mostly just general nervousness that I struggle with but I have pretty severe social phobia as well and I rarely leave the house even to come to the store or anywhere. I only go to the library. I just don't know what to do. I want the metaphorical belt to be permanently unbuckled. (link)
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You HAVE! Absolute full-house of anxiety symptoms there. They feel so physical that it's easy to believe there's something very physically wrong. Two years is a long time to have suffered in silence mate! They muscular tightness is caused by tension (stiff neck and shoulders, feeling like somebody is sitting on your chest are also common). Likewise the shortness of breath, it's muscles involuntarily tightenning although it can feel like a heart or respiratory illness when it's really acute. The sweating and shaking (and you maybe feel your heart beating heavy, like you can 'hear' it in your ears, or beating faster) are because you're producing adrenaline and cortisone, (and other stuff). It's your body gearing-up for response to a threat, and your body does not 'know' the difference between an actual physical danger and anxiety (where the fear is what's called 'perceived'). Some have feelings of fear tha something bad is always about to happen, even full-on panic attacks). Doctors can help hear with medication known as beta-blockers. They block the 'signals' from your brain that keep kicking you into that 'threat response mode' all the time. Ultimately, to get rid of all these (horrible, I know!) symptoms you do need to find the cause of your anxiety. That's what counselling tackles. Sometimes it's about actually changing some aspect of your life that's responsible, or changing how you feel about it and react to it. Your doctor won't be prescribing beta-blockers as a very long term thing. Now, WHY are you so worried about your parents knowing you're suffering an anxiety disorder? It's NOTHING to be ashamed of. Anything can kick it off. Work stress, school stress, relationship stress, over-work, a trauma (car accidents or any sort of shock). Fear of your parents knowing/mocking/not approving, whatever is ADDING to your anxiety mate! I promise you, if I was your Dad I would HATE to think of you putting-up with these symptoms, spoiling the quality of your life and your enjoyment of things I'd want to see you out there enjoying. The symptoms can be really crippling can't they? Few things. Anxiety disorders are NOT depression (thought the symptoms can overlap a bit). They are usually easier to address and resolve. You're NOT 'losing it'. Your body's functions and responses WILL correct themselves when you resolve the causes....the symptoms will vanish. I think step one is that you DO have a chat with your parents about this, soon as possible. Arrange a time. When neither you, or they are busy doing 'other stuff'. Tell them just what you've written here. I'm repeating myself, I know but really, NO parent would like their children going through this. At 14 you're not exactly a little girl anymore. You are old enough to know yourself and be taken seriously. Put your side across in a serious, mature way. I can absolutely assure you that a doctor would diagnose anxiety. It's not a case of 'pulling yourself together' or being a bit 'moody' or 'worrying too much about stuff' or anything of the sort. Regarding beta-blockers, they're well known. Some people need them because they panic every time they take a driving test and fail because of nerves, for instance. Might be a doctor would prescribe a short course. They'll tend to 'loosen that belt' about straight away. Then you can begin to work on unbuckling it for good. Really, tell your parents. It's the first step, and the first step is always hard but it will pay off. You don't want another two years like the last, do you? There's no reason why you have to.
Maybe important ps! You might already know of some things that are at the root of your anxiety and insecurity? It can be something that happenned long ago, that you think you're OK with, and you've carried on 'as usual'. Then all of a sudden, your system has had enough, and bang, the anxiety, and all these 'fight or flight' responses overwhelm you. Think of anything? Why not write about them and post them RIGHT HERE? You might well find some enlightening answers, someone who's 'been there'. At any rate, it's good to talk. That's what counselling is all about. Think about it?
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I have been a straight A student up until now. Lately i have been getting off track and I'm not sure why. My grades are suffering. I am not sure what to do to get back on track and fix my grades. Any advice? (link)
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A's all the way is setting a pretty high bar. But there's nothing wrong with some good old driving ambition! Why might they be slipping a bit? Let's consider some alternatives. May be plain old 'distraction'. Other stuff competing for your attention? Bit of 'time-management' needed if so. Allocate time for study and coursework, time for other pursuits and be rigid with yourself if you find them overlapping. Second possibility. Are you understanding the lessons/lectures, but maybe being a bit less careful over revision and/or presentation of your assignments? Or is the lesson content getting a bit harder to grasp? Identify the cause and address it as appropriate. Third. When you're doing really well there's sometimes a tendency to form the impression that it's all a bit of an 'easy game' and assume the A's are going to come flying in whatever you do. Time for a re-assessment of the situation! Fourth. The content does (naturally) get 'harder' the further we go along our academic path, and we need to identify the point where we DO actually have to 'up our game' to get that cherished A. It's a case of underestimating the challenge. Think we're all guilty of that from time to time, eh? Good news is the further you go the spectrum of subjects gets much narrower. Fewer subjects, but in more and more depth. In a way that can help your focus no end. Sitting an exam on a Shakespeare play and a classic work for English Lit followed by an exam on Physics or Chemistry is a bit of a quantum leap for the intellect for any of us mate, I'll freely admit! Such feats are not demanded when you're studying just a few, then finally a single theme. Usually you've refined things to something you are actually interested in too...which is a big help. To sum things up, you can get back 'on track' once you've identified what's pushing you 'off track' and tackled it. I'll leave this one in your hands then shall I? Since you're an A-stream braniac! Just teasing calling you a 'braniac' there. I was a total perfectionist myself all through my academic years. You'll sort it. Just step back, regroup and get back in there. The A's will return.
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Okay so I'm 14/f and recently found out I was bisexual. All the people I have come out to have supported me and I'm thankful. I haven't had my first... gay kiss if thats what you want to call it but I can't find the right girl to have it with. I am really curious though! Any advice? (link)
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Bi or bi-curious at 14 isn't anything to worry about and I'm glad people around you have been cool about it. Finding the right partner to kiss and explore your feelings is quite tricky. Like Dragonflymagic points out, it's the same as a heterosexual kiss (with a boy in your case). If you're getting on, feeling close and the urge to enjoy a kiss together arises, it will arise...and it will happen. We kiss who we want to kiss, and be kissed by. Another bi-girl won't automatically want to kiss you just because you are bi. So don't assume this is the case. She'll have to like you plenty too. It's not going to be 'Hey...we're both bi...that's reason enough to start snogging each other, right?" Wrong! It's like the way a girl doesn't want to kiss any old boy just because he happens to be heterosexual and male. There's got to be a bigger connection than that. If things seem to be going along nicely with a friend, you might try dropping a few hints about kissing, and see how she responds. Curious doesn't always mean we're going to realise things. It means we're...welll...curious about the idea! If her response is clearly on the negative side of neutral, best not to push it any further I reckon? If she seems keen, it migh happen pretty damn quick! All the best mate.
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I woke up Saturday morning after a night of drinking with a friend and i blacked out. and when i woke up i was in my friend's daughter's bed and my friends 11 year old daughter was sleeping right next to me completely naked. and I was too. i knew that she had a crush on me because her dad said that he read it in her diary but i never knew it would go this far. and here is the ****** part about it I'm 25 year old guy so i don't even know what too do i was able too wake her up and we were able to get dressed before her dad woke up and other than me taking the virginity of my best friends daughter i didn't wear a condom so she may get pregnant and I'm that case i guess I'm completely ******. i feel like a complete asshole knowing that i did this with her. and then about a day later she asked me if i wanted to do it again. i don't really know what to say. i don't know if we should do it again. or just tell her that we cant ever again but she might tell her dad that this happened if i don't and if we do i know that we could get away with it because i do watch her sometimes for my friend when he has to work late at night. i don't know what to do should i break it off with and getting pissed at me and telling her dad or should i have some sort of strange relationship with her Because i dont want to hurt her feelings. (link)
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Hi there. Don't think there's much appropriate debate to be had in the question of whether you do it again or not, is there? No, you do NOT. And as a responsible adult you should make sure you don't end up in the position where the booze denies you the power of reason. To the point where it seems a good idea. I sincerely hope she is not pregnant, for all concerned. I can appreciate that the child did indeed seem to be compliant, even proactive in the event. I dare say a lot of kids of eleven would jump at the chance of racing about in my car. But I don't give them the keys and say 'Ok...have fun!' As adults, we're meant to have a better, more clearly defined sense of what is and what is not appropriate, are we not? And having sex with an eleven year old cannot possibly be appropriate. You have to tell her that it was a mistake, and that it cannot happen again. Regarding the hanging threat of her telling her dad...she'll have to make her own mind up about that and you'll have to face the consequences if she does. You can't really continue a 'relationship' in order to not hurt her feelings and buy her silence can you? How long for? A year? She'll still only be 12! Can't see her dad being any more impressed, can you? And it'll no longer be a single drunken mistake that you regret. No longer something that happened, you know shouldn't have happened and you are deeply sorry for. It will have become a deliberate and presumably regular event. You might JUST defend the former to him. You've got NO chance of mitigating the latter. Must add that if there is ANY motive of continuing to have sex with her for your OWN gratification then with all respect, you really have to ask yourself some serious questions about the path you're embarking on. And possibly seek some form of counselling or help. It's really NOT acceptable is it?
ps. She has a known crush on you. You were very drunk. Are you absolutely SURE you had penetrative sex? Is it possible she undressed and got into bed beside you all night without your knowledge at all and she's playing it? 11 year old girls are too young to be having sex, but they're definitely not too young to be amazingly savvy and manipulative when they see an opportunity to get their own way about something. Ask any father of one!!
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How can I tell if my fiance has lost interest in me? How can I show him that I am sexy? How can I get him to love me again? Is everything my fault? I am a 32 year old woman engaged to an older black man (link)
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Do you think he's lost interest in YOU specifically or in having a relationship at all? Think you need to determine that first. You're not mentioning 'another woman' so it might be either? I shouldn't think it could be your fault unless you have done something to drive him away...which again there's no mention of. So I'm assuming it's about him? If he's 'off' relationships altogether, why? Fear of committment? Health problems? Family pressure? Has he a previous family, might a child or even the ex. partner ( they can have unrealistic expectations regarding the duties/life of their ex.) be making things awkward or difficult. For instance, a much-loved child can wield an awful lot of emotional force on his/her father when it comes to his 'new' partner. Does he feel he can give you the home, life and support you need...or is he not really secure in his own arrangements? If he's theoretically 'OK' for a relationship and he seems a bit cool towards YOU there could be various reasons. You mentioned him being 'older'? As you mention 'love' and 'sexy' it seems to imply him finding you physically desirable? Is your sex drive and expectations maybe just higher than his? Possibly he may have some problems 'performing' (it does happen, but it can easily, and very successfully be addressed nowadays). So is it a problem of how well and how often he seems to want to pleasure you? Or has he gone off the whole idea? Is he showing any signs of breaking-off the relationship. That's a key area to identify. If you talk about 'next years holiday' or 'planning something next Christmas' does he seem vague and reluctant to discuss it? I seem to be asking YOU all the questions, don't I? Your question is rather open-ended. So, is there any stuff in what I've said to help thus far? Could you gather some more info on what/who/where your fear seems to arise from? Which of the above can we discard? Which might be relevant? If you want, inbox me and we might try to find a specific answer, once we 'narrow the field' a bit and get a way towards a specific question? See what you think, and feel free to drop a line if you reckon it might help. Best wishes.
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