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I was on this site before recording my first single. I will stay a member of this site. I am asking that each of you support me by visiting my webpage. I have posted music that I have written and recorded. Check out Wildside featuring Father Jah, and I want, created in memory of 2Pac.
http://www.reverbnation.com/Venomtheonly1

I am open, honest, truthful yet also insightful and understanding. I am a Strong woman with morals, belief, and character. I value life, myself and life of everything, everyone and all. I am mature, caring, giving, straight up and real!

I am not harsh, rude, or disrespectful but I am going to tell you the truth because you are asking for that. If you want a lie or support that you know is invalid because you question it yourself, please don't get mad at me for the truth because that is what sets us ALL free!! Peace, Venom



advice

So I had a boyfriend, that i was extremely good friends wtih when i met him last august, well we talked alot and i always went to bed with a smile on my face after our conversations. He asked me out in the beggining of november and i couldnt have been more happier, it was the time i was happiest. he dumped me mid march because hes moving soon and didnt know if he wanted a girlfriend still. so he was known as the goofy player type. and i thought i had changed him from that, but the day after he broke up with me, he went back to his playerish self and was all over girls. now when he broke up wtih me over the phone, he told me he still wanted to be friends. now i see him at dances and gatherings like that, and its so awkward because he is all over everyone, and it hurts. the day after he broke up with me when i saw him, it was an awkward hi and hug, and my friends werent being that nice to him so i felt really bad. but i talked to him at it and he even got a bit teary eyed, but i didnt know if he actually cared or not. parts of me think he did and parts of me think he just wanted to make me feel better. well the day after that, i called him to make sure he was okay and he said yeah and that the question was if i was okay, and i said im alright, and im like i guess, i just felt really bad about how people were acting. well now its a month later, we had a dance, he was with this one girl and his one guy friend knew how i was feeling and told him later that night, so then my ex apologized and said he heard i had looked dissappointed and said he shouldn't have done that and asked if i was okay, and i told him he can do what he wants because i have no control over that, and i just dont move on as fast as others, especially because this is my first relationship. i saw him saturday, we hugged and said hi then when we were leaving he said bye and lifted me up, but i dont know. he was even trying to flirt, dance, and kiss my friends? im like oh thanks. i miss the friendship we had, and i feel like whenever we talk its awkward, or i have NO CLUE what to say. and i just want the friendship to be how it used to be more than ever. I feel like i have no time because hes moving in june or july. i feel like the more i cared the more i made it worse and the more pain i caused myeslf. people tell me i deserve better, but they don't know what i saw in him when i went out with him, it was when i was the happiest, if anyone could tell me what i should do, or how i should feel, it'd be really apreciated, i apologize for the length of this! lol

First let me say, I am sorry that you are feeling pain and that you are hurting. I am sorry that he has no respect for your feelings being that he INTENTIONALLY gets up on people in front on you. Don't lower your values or morals by playing the "get back at him game". Be more mature than that.

Secondly, I commend you for acknowledging your pain, instead of keeping it on the inside - "Pressure burst pipes". Remember this, please: Before anyone can heal it requires 3 things: acknowledgement, acceptance, and admitting how you are feeling. Once this has been accomplished, it takes time to deal with self & will power to move forward. I always recommend reading, writing, singing, enjoying different types of music & new activities in an effort of occupying your mind & time so that you can heal faster and put attention elsewhere to empower and better yourself. Love is joy,pain,tears,sunshine,and rain. This isn't the last relationship that you will have and it's not the last time you will feel hurt.

It is good not to move on as fast as he has and to take time and look at what it is that YOU want out of your next relationship. Don't compare this one to the next one. In time the hurt will go away and you will be happy again - as it goes away, find happiness in YOU and don't expect the person you are dating to be soley responsible of making you happy. That's a really high demand & expectation to place on someone. It's also not fair. It's on them to help keep you happy once you are happy in self first.

Demand yourself to make yourself happy and do what it takes to put a smile on your face everyday. Smile because the sun is shining. Smile because you feel a little better each day. Smile because you have bright future ahead of you!

Also, you said something that concerns me: it's the part about you changing him... never try to change anyone and know that people DO NOT change unless they want to change. Support, encourage and help with change when asked but don't go into a relationship or even a friendship with the mind set that you have the ability to change someone.

How should you feel? There's no rule to determine how you should feel. Feelings are something that you control. It's yours and how you should feel is how you want to feel. I do understand how you feel b/c I have been there too. I hurt, cried and took my break up really hard.

I became stronger and with every tear dropped. I wiped them and made it a point to learn from those experiences. Notice I say experiences - which means it's happened more than once. "smile" so with each one it gets a little easier and you will be prepared to deal with it - until the day comes that you meet your husband, dearheart. & Even then there will still be some tears and hurt, it's a part of life, but by then you will be giving someone else advice on how to move on and find themselves. Keep your head up young lady and be strong.

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okay hey guys so i just wanted someone else’s opinion on this.

last year I went out with my ex boyfriend for about a year and then last September he all of the sudden broke up with me telling me he had no more feelings they changed. We had a great relationship and nothing was going wrong at all and he always told me no matter what he was always going to love me. Ever since the whole break up I haven’t spoken to him unless I had to because of school or something related to school.

I have music class with my ex and he’s always looking at me or talking really loud so I can hear things about his band and always making out with his girlfriend of the week in front of me and he’s always playing the songs he wrote for me in music class. Keep in mind I don’t ever talk to him and I sit and mind my own business in the back of the room.

I really don’t understand it. Every other girlfriend and boyfriend break up and either they talk or they don’t. this has been about 9 or 10 months now that we haven’t been together and I feel like it just doesn’t end I feel like there’s still something there.

Thanks so much I just wanted to know someone’s opinion on this whole thing

I think that he is playing childish games with you, trying to make you jealous. He is in need of attention. But get this, the attention needed is not only from you, it is from women which is why he changes girlfriends so frequently! He isn't happy with any of them and so he continues bouncing from chic to chic trying to find what he had with you. Silly isn't it?

Continue your studies & music as you are doing. Continue ignoring him, as you have been doing and you will be fine. I promise! I am not sure of what you feel is still there, but I wouldn't concentrate on it; however, I would concentrate on WHY it's still there rather than what it is that's still there.

He is confused and lost! He has contradicted himself - If he told you that he will always love you, then how is it that all of a sudden his feelings changed? He was confused when he said that. He was confused when he broke up with you and he is still confused now. Do you, and let him continue doing him - watch and see who goes farther and who ends up happy without confusion at all. Good Luck!

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my ex boyfriend and i were friend for like 2 yrs before and we became close. he treated girls kinda badly and could be a jerk but when hes alone hes great. we have liked each other on and off the whole time but i had a bf and he dated a couple girls. finally after being 'together' for a while he asked me out. i had just transfered schools so he and i didnt see each other at school only at church or when we hung out. he treated me great and was so nice and sweet and always had time for me. he became my very best friend and i depended on him. he knew i was moving but as it got closer he started pulling away. this was the complete opposite of what i wanted to do. i wanted to spend all the time i could with him so i was clinging on. he had less and less time for me and i was upset and crying all the time. he said he missed me and stuff but didnt show it. finally we broke up and now we arent even friends. this is because hes avoiding me because he doesnt want to have to deal with the emotions of me moving.

he doesnt have many friends because he is a jerk with a lot of people but nice at church/one on one. i have found out that he flirted with a bunch of girls at school and stuff cause i wasn't there which makes me so hurt. i thought he was special. he and i had this bond and he was different from the other guys i had dated. he was the first guy i have loved up to the point that i can love a boy because i know I am young but i did care about him a lot. he said he truly cared for me and i think he did but i think hes too immature right now. he feels very self conscious and is treated badly at home so he needs to feel like he can get a girl to make himself feel better.

i know i should be over him but i miss having someone always there for me. i told him everything about me and he knew me as well as i knew myself. and i feel so bad and feel like i should be there for him because his home life is really screwed up. i guess i dont miss HIM but i miss having SOMEONE there for me who cared and everything. also i feel SO hurt and betrayed for him distancing from me and flirted with those girls. he hid things from me and lied. but a part of me wants to hold on because i want a person there for me. i know i need to be independant but i dont know how to get over this feeling of needing him. part of me feels so pathetic and is so angry torwards him but the other part holds on and worries about him. he wont talk to me either and avoids me so i just dont know what to do anymore. this has been going on for about a month. i NEED to get over this but i just cant figure out how. i want to feel independant and like i dont need a guy. i also want to let go of my hurt and pain and sadness and anger and frusteration and i think sitting down and talking would work but he wont talk to me. i have tried many times. and i have written down my feelings but it doesnt change anything. PLEASE HELP

Read, Read and Read! "smile" I have gone through this and it was really hard. I told someone this before - I went through this up and down/in and out relationship thing for over 17 years and let me tell you, the roles reverse. You feel as if you need him, but the truth is that he will grow to need you. He will become dependent on you as a result of you being there for him since his home life isn't all that great.

It sounds like you have fear of being alone and taking some time out for yourself, which is an indicator that you are becoming reliant on a person for happiness just to feel complete. Upon doing this it results in loss happiness and security of who are you are, your interests, and your goals for yourself.

He sounds like a Dr. Jekel, Mr. Hyde type of person to me. He most likely is a jerk but because you love him you don't see it. (Blinded Love). I know for a fact that you have seen him be a jerk at times and you have seen him be opposite. This has to be some type of alert for you that he isn't emotionally stable. Don't allow yourself to become this way. It sounds like you already are. Read your question slowly, and pay close attention to the mixed emotions you are displaying.

The most important thing is that you look into some books called How to Let Go, Why women love men who don't love them, and look into some books that show you how to love yourself. I am encouraging you to BE independant instead of only FEELING independant. Sure, we all need and want love but you will NEVER experience TRUE love until you love yourself! You sound like a great loveable, caring, kind person who is beautiful inside and out, remember that no matter what and know that there is someone for everyone. Focus on yourself, your happiness and you will find Mr. Right. Girl you will look back on this mess and laugh about it saying, remember when instead of saying, I can't forget... I am sending you some GIRL POWER SISTER!

Good Luck!!!

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The last time my boyfriend and I had sex was about 3 weeks ago, and my period is now 5 days late. We did use a condom, but I've always been regular before. I also felt very naseous for about an hour yesterday and about an hour this afternoon. I'm waiting a few more days before I get a pregnancy test.

Should I tell my boyfriend that I suspect I may be pregnant before I take the pregnancy test? Or should I take it first to confirm/deny my suspicions so I don't worry him?

Tell him and he should be there when the purchase is done and the test is taken.

You both had sex together and all responsibilities resulting from that act should also be done together, up to and including purchasing and taking that test. He needs to know that your period is late. The worry should have been there before you BOTH participated in the activity itself, but since the worry is there - that too should be shared, addressed, discussed and handled maturly as the decision to have sex was done. Good Luck!!

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My 12 year old sister has been making moves on me for like 2 or 3 months now. She'll take any chance to rub her body against me, she has big breasts and they get in the way if we have any physical activities but she specifically likes to do weird stuff like smother my face with them if we wrestle or whatever.

I try to avoid her mostly but she comes to me like to play around or wrestle and if I don't play with her she will just get on top and ignore the fact that I'm ignoring her.

I'm 18 and I have a girlfriend so this feels wrong on so many different levels. I've told her to cut it out but she doesn't seem to be getting the message.

First, talk to your parents about your concerns and request a family meeting with EVERYONE including your sister's presence. Tell her how this makes you feel, how it looks and how innocence could compltely be mistaken for filthiness.

Her actions could be as a result of what's seen on television,the internet or wittnessed from her friends and their siblings. It could also be more serious that taken based on different things that she may have been introduced to unbeknowing to you or your family.

Being that you are 18, I would think you are on your way to college or to plan for life's journey. If not, I encourage you to do so. Be cautious, careful yet aware of all surroundings especially with females - regardless of age. This sort of thing goes on forever in life - including in the workplace (innocence mistaken for exact opposite). Also, your sister needs to be taught how to act as a young lady. If these actions aren't corrected NOW, it could really lead to something much more damaging to her life as she grows older and matures.

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I have been on vacation for 2 weeks with my 1yr old daughter. This is my first vacation away from my two step-kids, 8&9 and my husband. Its been 2 weeks and I dont seem to miss them at all. I know that sounds horrible but they are horrible kids. They talk back, never listen, mean to their half-sister, physically hurt each other and my 1yr old, the list goes on and on. I have been a part-time step mother to them for 4yrs. What is wrong with the way i feel? Should I tell my husband the way I feel?

You and Your husband are a unit, a team! There is no reason that you should keep anything from him pertaining to how you are feeling or thinking. It isn't fair to him or to yourself. Yes, you should talk to him about the problem. (It is a problem) - whenever bringing problems, always have a solution- not to take over the solution method,but to offer it as a suggestion. It could be a great conversation subject as well as allowing you and your husband to set goals, rules and plans for your children. It is both of your obligations to provide proper rules, behavior structure,planned activities, and a safe environment for your children. If you find concern in speaking with your husband due to possible response/reaction then there seems to be another concern or problem at hand that may cause you to do some internal soul searching. If the children don't have any structure or control now, they will grow into teenagers who are bullies, without control or structure and later into adults without control and structure with a potential violent streak that could become abusive.

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I feel kinda weird, but
i stuck the end of a hair brush up my ......
and it kinda felt okay.
but isn't it kind of weird for me to be doing that?
and isnt it weird for it to feel good?

Two things:

1. I had a friend who did something very similar to this to herself - her reason for doing this wasn't for satisfaction or pleasure it was done because of depression. She was trying to hurt herself.

2. If this is being done for pleasure experience do go to one of the pleasure stores and obtain the toy for this particular area as muscles & nerves are sensitive in this area. Do some research on this sort of stimulation or excitement for a better understanding of the process, the purpose of it, risk(s) associated and for physical explanations. If you are doing this for mental reasons , depression or anger instead of pleasurable reasons, talk to someone about this if you feel any pressure or question pertaining to your state of mind and seek help. If this is for your own pleasure, go for it but do it correctly as intended. To each it's own and nobody can judge you for what you like personably. This is your own private personal preference, enjoy it, feel good and be happy as well as safe! & yes, it's normal to try new things. I applaud you for the maturity and courage of trying new expereinces, most people are only thinkers and not doers.

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im 15/f and lately i've been feeling distant from my parents. we're never on the same page about anything. and i made a little mistake when school let out and now they dont trust me at all. and my sisters and i are always fighting. and they both wanna copy everything i do. one of them is a brat and future slut and the other is completely behind on EVERYTHING in life. shes almost 13 and she refuses to shave, wear deodorant, and wear bras. and they are always bugging me and never leave me alone. and i just wish they'd leave me alone.

i know they love me, but i dont think i love them the way i used to. i mean i dont HATE them, but i dont love them. i know this is really bad and i cant talk to my rents about it. my friends understand where im getting at but if i try to explain to my parents they'll just get upset and hurt and i dont wanna hurt them.

i used to be really close with my dad. i used to be able to tell him everything. but now that im older and getting into a lot more stuff like smoking/drinking/heated situations and stuff? YOU CANT TELL YOUR DAD THAT. i just dont know what to do anymore! i wouldnt mind if my parents just sent me to england to live for eternity because i wouldnt miss my family at all.

Wow..."smile" I am 34 years old. I did the same thing when I was 15 too and I felt the same way, the only difference was that I was an only child and my dad was a preacher. I am going to say this to you.. Listen to your parents, they do love you and want what is best for you. I grew apart from my parents and felt distant too but the truth is that they do know what is best for you. You are 15, your sister is 13. Set goals for yourself to be a role model for your sister and peers. Proms, college, life and future are more important than drinking, smoking, and other things you are experiencing in your life.

I too experienced these things in life and this is what it led to: I got pregnant at 17. I went to my Sr. Prom pregnant. I graduated from highschool Pregnant - even though I was a straight A student. It was embarrassing and humilating. I continued doing the same thing without listening or setting goals, and got pregnant again at 19! I became a gang member. I moved to Atlanta - I started stripping and hanging around the WRONG crowd while my parents raised my children. I had no $, no job, no future - NOTHING! I was lost and should have been dead because of the lifestyle I lived. I learned from it. I graduated from college with 3 degrees, I became a professional, I got married, I have a great job, a great relationship with my children and my parents and I lived to talk to people who are going through the same thing I went through. I know it's hard to listen at your age because we think we know everything at 15, without understanding that there is so much more to be learned, experienced and felt. Please get some hobbies, read, write, listen to different types of music, open your life and mind to new expereinces. If you are doing things that you are doing because of peer pressure - evaulate the people you hang with. I look at the people who I used to affiliate with and they are still in the same situation they were in when we were younger! They are still on welfare assistance, still having children with no fathers to help, getting drunk and complaining about how miserable their life is. Be a role model, enjoy your teenage years, you never get those back.

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so i just recently sent in a question about my bf that broke up with me and said sorry i found a new girl... well we broke up and i texted him and he freaked and said he never wanted to talk to me then tonight he got drunk texted me adn then called me and said he just said all the mean stuff to me because he thinks i have changed and wants me to be the same again and he wanted to show me how he felt when i broke up with him for my ex ... even tho we got back together after that he was still hurt. it was a long time ago kinda. and he said that he loved me. im really confused on how to take this .. wat about the girl he likes aparently and why is it all of a sudden after all the things he said that he says he loves me. then i sent him a text to see if he got home safe from the party cuz he was afraid of wrecking and he never answered. wat does this mean and is he just playing a game

I went through something like this and to be honest with you, I had been going through it for 17 years. In and out, up and down, back, front it's a roller coaster - If you don't stop the cycle now, it will go on for a long time. It is obvious to me that you still love and have feelings for him. The fact that he was drunk says alot too. I think he is going through some things in his life and turning to the bottle for comfort, reason and/or answer. He seems very confused which is causing you confusion in yourself.

If you are going to be confused, be confused due to your thought not because of someone else's actions, words, or decisions. Find yourself and take time out for you without his involvement.

The tit fot tat game is childish and once started if not ended it goes on and on and someone always will have some point to prove instead of proving what counts the most - Love, trust, respect, appreciation, dedication, happinesss and certainty not confusion. Yes, the whole thing is a game - game does recognize game - but as we all grow older so do the games!That's when the games are all played out!

Love yourself, Find yourself. ALLOW yourself time to heal becasue you too have been hurt and still are hurting now.

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Out of the goodness of my heart of loaned a "friend" a large amount of money over the course of several months. With the option that they pay me back by working it off or cash. A little cash has been paid and some of the work has been done. But, now that it's spring, this person is going out partying all the time and not making an effort. I am unemployed and need the money.....thinking about getting a lien put on their house because now they are in a big hurry to move to FLA. What should I do? Can't afford court fees.

I would first contact the person who owes you the money in an effort to attempt a verbal agreement of repayment differing from their labor or working it off for cash. Working it off doesn't pay your bills. Attempt to make a verbal agreement of a specified monthly or weekly payment amount. Record the conversation.

Go on line get a promissory note (you will need a legal document specifying paymentarrangement/agreement). Be sure to indicate your intention of taking to small claims court and their responsibility of paying court costs associated with court, should it come to that point. Have it notarized. Should payment default and not be kept as agreed- take the person to small claims court, obtain a judgement w/ or w/out their presence as you promised you would in the promissory note agreement.

Most importantly LEARN from the experience and DO NOT loan out $ especially to freinds and/or family. Money is indeed the root of all evil. You can honestly chalk the $ up as a lost because they most likely have no intent of repaying you. They knew that when they borrowed it. I would follow through with legal action out of love. As you have learned not to loan money anymore. They too will learn not to borrow money anymore. Good Luck!!

Venom_97

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