Member Since: August 7, 2012
Answers: 1038
Last Update: August 2, 2021
Visitors: 29761
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Hi,
I'm usually pretty good at giving advice, but this I can't help myself with. I'm 13 and I just got transferred to a new place. I've been here for two months now. As many people here are teens they love to act all grown up and I'm not comfortable with the kind of things they do and the language they use, so I'm not friends with anyone, I tried to adjust and get used to them but without a friend I just can't manage. I'm kind of shy but I can make friends easily, but no one is like me (a little kiddish and crazy) everyone loves to act all grown up. I'm having a tough time making friends, please give me some advice on how I can adjust or I'll end up a lonely girl who talks to herself (link)
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Talking a bit 'big' at thirteen is fairly common. Adult subjects and language all of a sudden. I don't think there's much wrong with joining in the chat a bit if you can adjust, to fit in with the crowd. But the 'things they do' you have to keep your own limits and values about. Definitely. You don't want to be led into stuff you're not comfortable with, not ever. Plus, if they've got you down as a 'new face' they'll probably test you out, try and convince you to do stuff they're doing. Or should I say, probably what they're NOT doing. They'll be ready to set you up, it's the way people are. Like we said. Use your own judgement, always. There'll be people around who don't act and talk so extreme. Some will be 'putting on the style' a bit when the ring-leaders of the group are around, but quite different when they're not. And keep in mind, that they're not doing everything they're discussing in many cases. They're talking the talk, but not walking the walk, as they say. That's not a bad way to play it in many cases. Talk yourself up a bit by all means. Just don't get led into anything you aren't happy about. It's pretty tough making new friends when you're dropped into a new environment, lots of existing assocoiations, groups and dynamics are all in place and running. And you have to kind of break into them, find and claim your place. I'm sure you will. Be open and friendly. Don't let shyness make you hang back. It so often looks to the others that YOU are rejecting THEM. Honestly! It's like "She thinks she's too good for us." So get in there and get chatting. If you end up romancing a bit, and talking 'big' sometimes....don't worry. But DO remember to use all your discrimination, good judgement, personal values etc when it comes to actions. Crazy and kiddish can be pretty cool actually, if you play it right. Make THAT your image mate! Bit left-field, an original thinker. Not one of the herd!
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I'm tired of loving. Simple as that. I wish I was dead.. All I ever do is cause problems... I just want my life to be over. I don't want to take my own life though. I wish for someone to do it for me... Can someone help me? Please... Living is pointless for me. I can't escape the pain.... And now.... I'm completely... Irrevocably numb. (link)
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Assisted suicide is technically murder in most countries. And you cannot authorise someone to kill you and exonerate them of all responsibility. They'll go to prison. Even if there's a signed note from you asking them to do it. It makes no difference. And how could they live with what they had done even if they got away with it? I know I could neither do it, nor live with myself if I ever did. You need to find another path out of the place you're in right now. Suicide is no answer. Hang on in there. You won't always feel the way you do right now. The darkness will pass. Taking a life, including your own life is a serious business. Like we said at the start, that's why we can't expect anyone to do it. That's why YOU shouldn't do it. It's not a 'way out'. It's the end of any further possibility or opportunity for change. It blocks off any proper way out of your problems. How many people beg for some sort of good/easy way to die? There is no good way, easy way, right time or right place to die.
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a Lizard is scaring me. How to get rid of lizard? This baby lizard comes out during midnight when I'm on my chair in front of my desktop. I see it like every night. It's still a baby lizard. I'm really afraid if lizards. I have lizard phobia. I can't get rid of it coz when I throw something on it it'll just crawl to another place. Please help me. I've been depressed every night for several weeks after this lizard. I'm afraid It'll get into my face. I don't know if it can crawl to bed. It causes me paranoia because everytime I wake up during sleep I would think of the lizard that it would come to me. I even had several tactile hallucinations about lizard after it had once accidentally crawl to my foot. I don't know how to get rid of it. I tried to catch it and put into a plastic bag as my boyfriend instructed me but I almost had a heart attack coz it jumped onto my hair and then vanished. I'm leaving alone and I don't have any current neigbours near my flat to ask help. Please what should I do. It really bothers me so much. (link)
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How about an open topped cardboard box (like a shoe box minus the lid)? Quickly put it over the lizard when you see it on a flat surface (the floor, top of desk, window-ledge etc). Have a flat piece of cardboard handy. Slide it under the box (it will scoop-up the lizard as it slides between the surface and the box) and when it's completely under the box carefully pick the box and the card up together. Take it outside, some distance from the house. Then just drop the card and box (with the lizard inside) and run back to your house. Go and collect the box and card a minute or two later. The lizard will be long gone. Apart from the moment just before you drop the upturned box down over the lizard you won't even see the critter.
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Why does the Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitor SSRIs which is an antidepressant could possibly cause suicide? I've been diagnosed with depression and I've been taking seropram(SSRIs) for the past 6 months. I haven't asked my doctor about it yet I've read a black warning that it says the possible suicide attempt. I'm 17 and I don't know why it does cause suicide attempts when it is an antidepressant. I'm afraid I might think of it. I'm confused. Please do help me and let me understand. thank you. (link)
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There have been documented cases linking use of this type of medication with worsening depression and some suicides (which does strike as odd for and anti-depressant, true). Brand marketed as Seroxat by GSK in UK was a notorious case, mainly because some GP's reports of suicides following prescription were ignored/suppressed by GSK. It has to be listed as a possible side-effect since enquiry, and rightly so. The cases were not that many in number, but even one suicide as a direct result of the medication itself would be too much. Basically, if you feel more depressed taking them, and definitely if you have suicidal thoughts see your doctor straight away and tell him/her. You won't be dismissed or doubted, it is a known possible effect. Hence it's on the drug leaflet/box.
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My boyfriend of 3 months and I both decided to lose our virginity..were only teenagers but dont think that matters since we love each other. The only problem is that when we tried...it wouldn't go in..it was very embarrassing for me and I don't know why it didn't work..i wasn't nervous or anything and neither was he so I don't know why it didn't work out and would like some advice so that this doesn't happen next time..thanks (link)
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It's not always a great success first time I'm afraid. You are certainly not the only couple to experience this, by a very long way. Even though you say you weren't nervous, I'm pretty sure you both were. Maybe not on the surface level, but subconscious anxiety is very strong in effect. There are a couple of likely reasons why it 'wouldn't go in'. Firstly, your body might have reacted to the anxiety by involuntary muscle tensing. Fear, anxiety, stress (call it what you will) does make our muscles tense-up and tighten. Naturally, you have some stong muscles 'down there' and if they tense-up (just when you don't want to be tight and tense!) it will be very difficult for a guy to penetrate you. The anxiety in guys very often prevents them from keeping a full-on erection. Don't know if this was the case? If so, don't worry. It's not a physical problem for the guy, it goes away when the anxiety eases! It was maybe a bit of both I'd guess? After a few failed attempts, well...your anxiety levels go through the roof. You both get extra wound-up because it's 'not happenning' and this pretty much kills off any chance of sex this time. I'd suggest you try again. Lots of kissing and cuddling and foreplay until you are nice and relaxed, and feeling nicely wet. Have condoms ready and be satisfied that you know exactly how to use them properly to remove any 'pregnancy' worries. Laying on your back, with your legs apart and knees raised slightly is a comfortable and easy position for him to penetrate you. When you both feel ready (not a minute before) breathe nice and slowly and deeply, foucus on relaxing your body as much as possible and let him get in position over you. If it 'doesn't work' go back to a more foreplay and try again after a few minutes. If after three or four attempts it still isn't happenning it's probably best to give it up and maybe relieve each other by hand? And try again later. It can be pretty stressful having sex first time, and like we said, a lot of the fears are working away below the surface, where they can really put a brake on your performance. It's nothing to be embarrassed about really, though I appreciate you probably are still cringing at the thought of it? Put the failed attempt behind you. I promise you it's not unusual, and you'll be enjoying sex very soon.
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We're both boys, age 14. Both of us are straight
We act like we're not bestfriends. Everytime we take a bus, I sleep on his shoulder. Everytime we sleep together we hug each other tightly. We also habittualy say I love you, but most of all, we kiss. I've no idea why we do it. I'm not disturbed by this at all, its fine with me, but it just sounds pretty wrong? When I do it, I feel like the trust between us increases and it feels really good. We both like it and we both understand that it's not a boyfriend kiss.
Do you think it's weird?
And Im really sure we're straight, not bi, but if we're going to end up together, I wont mind, he's fun to be with (link)
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I'd say it's a bit more common for straight females to kiss, and cuddle-up in bed or stuff watching a movie, or asleep or something. Us guys are not usually quite so 'touchy-feely' with our male friends. The odd hug is about as far as most of us are comfortable with, and that's a bit too far for some of us!! If you're both comfortable with showing your affection in a more physically intimate way then I can't see any problem. You seem to have a great attitude to the situation from your last line. So don't analyse things too much, just see what happens. Might point out that a lot of guys of 14 or so are sort of aggressively heterosexual and totally homophobic. Girls can be equally single-minded on the subject. Girls kiss guys, sometimes othe girls. But guys don't kiss each other! Don't rely on them understanding the set-up as well as you two do either. You might chose carefully who you share the info with for a while yet unless you can handle a bit of teasing, or maybe more malicious comments. It's very difficult to change sexual stereotyping in a teenaged peer group. Almost impossible, perhaps? Anyway, it's nobody elses business really is it?
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My friend, James, died a week ago and I had to keep my emotions in because it was best to not let my mother know. She'd ask too many questions and I couldn't handle that. He was like a brother to me and I don't know what I'm going to do without him. I cut my arm and my thigh again and it helped for a little while but the pain came back. I'm wondering if I should do it again. (link)
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No you shouldn't do it again. It only appears to 'help'. It's what's called a 'coping mechanism'. And not a very good one. Something you use to cope with the pain you're feeling. When you cut yourself you're feeling in control of your emotions, you are eliciting a response (basically pushing a button and getting an instant and very noticeable reaction). That's why it feels 'good'. You're affirming your ability to control your life and your feelings. It's not just you, it's a common motive behind self-harming. The actual pain and fear of your loss, you cannot control. The cutting is a substitute, something you can control. As you've noticed, the relief is all too short-lived, and you need to do it again. To re-affirm the perceived feeling of control. Next time will be short-lived too. Probably the 'fix' will be even shorter. Then shorter still, the next time. You'll end up a mass of cuts and scars, and the REAL problem still won't be resolved. Which is the feelings you have about the loss of your friend. The feelings will all still be there. It's these feelings you have to 'process' directly, not try to blot them out by cutting yourself. This is why 'bereavement conseliing' exists. We ALL find it hard to process losses like this and come to terms with them in our own way. Not everyone who loses a close friend or family member needs formal counselling. But everyone needs to process it and come to terms with it in some way. That's what you must try to do. Talk to other people involved about it for a start. You'll not be the only one missing James. Share your feelings. Let them talk about theirs. Keeping such strong emotions 'to yourself' is building-up a massive amount of pressure. You need to address this. But please stop cutting yourself. Believe me, the temporary relief you feel when you do it is a dead-end. It solves nothing, and it won't after one hundred more cuts either. My condolences for your loss. Be strong. Would James (if he were still here) like to think of you in this turmoil? Upset, and harming yourself? I doubt it.
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Is it just me or is something really sad about that? Yeah, they have the connections to make it big in the modeling industry, regardless of their looks and talent, and could probably afford to retire on their parents' income at 18, but these people never had any dreams to contribute to society in a positive way? Getting paid to promote a product they don't even use is seen as more fulfilling than becoming a veterinarian or teacher, and actually helping people? I don't understand the logic behind it, unless maybe being raised among all that money clouds their minds of what really is special in life. (link)
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Can't say there's anything 'sad' about choosing to become a model really. It's a career. If you're a good model it's no less creditable than being a good teacher or a vet. There's artistry and craft and technique in being a good photographic model too, make no mistake. And it takes a lot of effort. Nobody is going to pay for your portfolio when you start. Once you get the work you have to look good and be professional. On a personal level it's very edifying to be chosen and paid to promote a product. Sometimes the pictures/footage themselves ARE the product. At the highest level, if Gucci or Prada or the like want you to model their latest collection at a fashion show you could say it was an honour...these people represent the ultra high-end of the fashion industry. I can see what you mean in a way. There are careers which are more apparently 'worthy' and carry a lot of kudos in society. Especially if they are seen as something for the general good of that society, like education and health industry. But if a wealthy young person chooses not to go down that path then it's their choice. In terms of job satisfaction, fulfilment and contribution, better to be a good model model than a bad vet, eh? Modelling work tends to be relatively short-lived too in many cases. Product promotion and visual images are also a big part of our day-to-day lives. Vogue is not going to be filled with photos of teachers teaching. I reckon there's room for vets, teachers, heart surgeons AND models, don't you?
ps. It's a celebrity-culture we've got. If one becomes a very well-known model they could lend their 'name' to promoting/supporting causes like banning fur-trapping for clothing, awarness of the importance breast cancer checking and world humanitarian organisations. There have been, and are real examples of this. That's pretty 'special' I reckon?
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I will be 24 next month, famale. I work a lot so in my free time I find myself bidding on auctions in ebay. Normally I bid on things $1.50 or less but depending sometimes I will bid $5 or so. Any one have suggestions on things that I can search for to auction on?? :) Up for suggestions. (link)
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Hi mate. I've got to actually question your motive for bidding here. The only way I can see this ending is by you having a house full of things you don't particularly need or want, which you purchased for the sole reason that they cost $1-50 to $5-00. The whole auction/bidding/winning environment can be very compelling, exciting even. And thus, more than a little addictive. Be a little careful. I've known people become ebay 'shopaholics'. Basically, if you don't need it, it ain't a bargain however cheaply you get it. It's quite easy to say that if you can easily afford whatever the habit is costing you, what's the problem? Maybe no problem. But what's it actually gaining you? Except a house full of stuff you don't ever use or look at? A collection might be a harmless idea if you're really keen on the ebay experience. I'd make it something small, like decorative sewing thimbles or something. They won't take over the house. How about LOOKING and congratulating yourself every time you RESIST bidding for something you don't really want. Make a note of what you've saved by NOT bidding. End of the month, add it up and treat yourself to something you really want. One of the designers (forgotten his name) said "Have nothing in your home you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful." Not a bad idea for a clutter-free and visually pleasing lifestyle, eh?
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Why is there a systematic refusal by certain Christian circles to take any account of what the Qur'an had to say on the subject in hand? (link)
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You can sum it up by the fact that religious belief systems are by nature mutually exclusive. If there is a supreme being and creator there can only be one, or your own belief system becomes invalidated. Or at best seriously compromised. If the Qur'an is the only & true divine body of work, then the Old & New Testaments of the Bible must necessarily be wrong and merely the writings of mortal men. And vice versa. There may be motifs, doctrine or concepts which are, prima facie similar. Or they may converge to the same idea. For example, all religious belief systems incorporate some form of eternal life after physical death, which may be earned or granted when we die. Sometimes through reincarnation. I'd imagine that any which claimed physical, age-independent immortality would be discredited very quickly. Namely when it's oldest living committed adherent snuffed it. Evil, and sin are punished...but only after death. Again, any which promised good things for the just and punishment for the wicked in THIS life would collapse in the light of a the first happy, healthy and wealthy villain. Of which you'll find many!
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I recently just switched my two adult male cats (one is 1 year 1 month old, the other about 1 year 7 months) over from a dry food to a wet food diet. Previously they had a bowl of dry food that was out all day (so a free feeding diet). Now, I'm feeding them Purina Friskies 100% Complete & Balanced Nutrition for Adult Cats & Kittens and the cans are 5.5 oz each.
I read online from several reliable sources that they should get around 8oz of canned food a day as they both have a large build (as in they have large bone structures not that they're fat).
Right now I put out one can in the morning and one night, so 5.5oz twice a day or 11oz in total which is more than the recommended feeding amount. I also give them around 5-10 dental kibbles a day as suggested on the package.
However they still act like they're absolutely starving and cry around the cans of food and try to find/and get into the treats. What am I doing wrong? (link)
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Might be something in the taste or smell of the canned food that's making them crave the food? Might be the dry food filled their stomachs more and stopped them sending 'I am hungry' messages? Cats are notoriously picky eaters, maybe they need a while to simply 'get used' to the new feeding schedule/policy? I'd tend to stick with the suggested servings a while and not give them a plate of wet food every time they show-off and try to persuade you to feed them. If they're holding their weight they're OK. Too much high-nutrition wet food will quickly make them pile on the weight which you'll notice, and isn't that great for them. My experience of cats is that they are more active in warm summer and spring months. Maybe the diet change coincided with the period when they're burning a bit more energy? The little packs of cat 'treats' can deflect their attention when they pester for food you don't really want to give them. A bit of 'fussing'/stroking and a couple of treats from your hand can 'put them off' demanding a plate full of food. Cats are funny bits of aren't they? Got their little ways and routines. Guess you know that, having a couple? Dogs are much more predictable! I'd definitely 'stick them out' for at least a while and keep up the suggested servings. They maybe are just used to dipping in to the always-available dry food at will all day, and just need to learn the new set-up. Best wishes.
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Both me and my girlfriend are clean, and ww had sex but the condom broke. Can I get aids? (link)
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You can only contract HIV (the virus which develops into aids) by having anal sex (or vaginal sex) with a person who is HIV Positive. If you are not, and your girlfriend is not either, then neither of you can possibly have passed it to one another, since neither of you have the virus. Anal sex has a very high risk factor when it comes to passing the virus (which is why it is/has always been often associated particulalry with homosexual males). But ONLY if one of you IS ALREADY HIV POSITIVE!! It does not just simply 'happen' through enjoying anal sex with a partner, male or female. I promise you. Even if you did not use a condom at all, you can't catch or transmit something neither of you have got. OK?
ps Having a lot of different sexual partners doesn't actually 'cause' aids either. It just increases the probability of having sex with someone who is carrying the virus.
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1. Unprotected sexual intercourse with somebody who is HIV positive or has a sexually transmitted infection. Anal or vaginal intercourse.
2. Sharing needles with a anyone who is HIV positive.
3. Transfusion of blood from an HIV positive donor (very rare now in industrialised/highly civilised countries as blood is screened, but there were quite a few tragic instances in the early days).
Sexual contact with an infected person is the way sexually transmitted infections are passed (as one might gather from the name). Blood, semen and vaginal fluids are hosts to HIV and any exchange of these (live) fluids can transmit the virus. The virus does not live in urine, faeces or saliva. And is not airbourne/water droplet contagious (as the flu virus is, for example). Thrush/fungal infections are fungal (as one might assume) and the spores are very resillient. They can be picked up by handling the genitals quite a while after handling something with active spores on it. It isn't strictly speaking an exclusively transmitted infection by any means, but it's often included in the group. Having sex will pass it, but it's not the only way to pick it up. And despite myths, men CAN suffer from it (penile thrush aka balinitis. Red, itchy and uncomfortable head of the penis are the signs). Blood, semen or vaginal fluids which have 'dried up' present no risk of HIV at all even if they have come from an HIV+ person. They have to be live. The virus cannot 'lay dormant' in any way and become reactivated.
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I love my boyfriend a lot.. But he has anger problems . And when he gets mad he slaps me or pushes me hard or punches my arm. And he always threatens to leave. How can I get this all to stop? He also calls me names all the time. But he said he loves me. Is it true? (link)
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Most women in physically abusive relationships face the same problem. He hits you, then he's sorry, says he loves you. Then he hits you again. Threats to leave are part of the picture. To undermine your confidence. If you intend to stay in the company of this guy you need to seek counselling together and address this anger-management problem of his. It won't get better. It won't go away on it's own. The tone of your question strongly suggests it's already become a repeating pattern? It's not difficult to say 'I love you' really, is it? But how do you reconcile this with him verbally and physically abusing you? You really need to address this before your self-esteem reaches such a low that you'll simply see yourself as the victim and tolerate his abuse. Is it worth the time and effort (with no guararntee that it will work, or he won't revert to it further down the line) of the counselling route? Your best bet is to walk away. You can do better than this. Having 'anger problems' is not an excuse for what he's doing. If a friend came to you with the same story, and asked YOU what to do....what would you tell them?? You maybe think your case is 'different'? It's not.
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OK I made a ovulation calendar before me and my fiance are trying to have a baby and it said I would be ovulating on the 19th of april but I only felt wetness but the date after that there was a lot of white stuff it looked white and creamy.......what does that mean? Would I still be able to get pregnant? Please help!!
(link)
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Ovulation test kits are pretty widely available and are more accurate and reliable than calendar methods, temperature methods etc etc. You can identify your most fertile days. Good help for those who are planning pregnancy and want to maximise the probability. All you need is supplied. No prior knowledge or experience required, just do what it says on the box.
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im 24 single female he's a 35 single male with an 8 year old daughter. Anyway we've worked together for almost s year and pretty much became best friends. We've never dated although I always thought there was some chemistry there because we flirt all the time. We go out to lunch together daily and he always makes a point to come to my desk and just talk until he gets in trouble and goes back to his desk. I know we're just friends because he talks about picking up girls at bars all the time and my confidence is way too low to even bother trying to make it anything more than friendship.I had a boyfriend up until 4 months ago but even while dating him I loved flirting with my coworker. So last week he takes a temporary leave due to his other job taking up a lot of his time. And I was completely crushed. They've already found someone to replace him and I already hate the new guy. I feel depressed going to work and not seeing him there. The days last way too long and I dread having to go. I was offered a new job a few months ago and didn't take it because I didn't wanna leave the place I'm at but I'm realizing it wasn't cause I love my current job but it's because he was there and made me love it and now that he's gone I just wanna quit and find a different place. Is that weird? There's something wrong with that right? (link)
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You're not the first to enjoy (and stay in) a job more because you liked a fellow employee than the job itself. And you won't be the last either. Now he's not there, you don't much like the place at all, or what you do. First off, you really need to get him a message in some way to see if the relationship can exist outside of the job. You say your confidence is low, and it couldn't have gone further. Are you sure this is the case? You can't really be 100 percent certain until you try. There'll be no awkward moments at work like there would have been if you'd made the move and had it rejected while you were both there. If you don't make some move you won't see him again. So what have you got to lose? Don't dwell on it, don't think about doing this....just DO IT. The romantic interest and all the fun of flirting has gone from the job. That doesn't mean it's a bad job. If the pay and terms are good for what you do, and there's a clear promotion pathway (and opportunities to get on the path) then you might as well stay. He won't be at the job you leave yours in favour of either, will he? It will be a 'change of scene' and no more, and that will soon wear off I'm afraid. And of course, you'll take all your memories with you. On a more positive note, if better opportunities ARE out there, and come up, you won't stay for the wrong reason next time. Start putting some cv's out if you think the job really isn't for you and it's got no real prospects. You can do that. The firms you approach won't tell your current company you're approaching them. At least, not until the offer is firm, and they want a reference from your old boss. By then, you won't worry if they do...you're out of there and off to new pastures! Hope you have good fortune with your already badly missed co-worker and something might grow here that's bigger and better than this job, or any other. Tell him just how you feel. ASAP. X
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I know this may sound crazy, but I made up this person up in my head and I want to be her. I really can't be her because it is impossible. I love to think about her going on adventures and stuff,but I want to be this person so bad that I get depressed when I think about her. I try to stop but at random times if I am bored or just any time actually, I find myself thinking about her. Please help, am I going crazy, or is this just normal? Btw I am 13. (link)
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Hi there. Your answers already seem very sound. You're not crazy by any means. Whether it's a particular person you want to be like, or that you want to be like an exciting 'alter-ego' you've created in your own mind it's bascially the same thing. It's an 'aspirational role model'. Sounds a bit heavy? It's not. You are 'aspiring' to be more like this ideal person. So aspire! If she's wealthy it's your incentive to secure a well-paid career. Does she have a beautiful home? Think "I will have a home like that too one day". If she's beautiful, she'll encourage you to make the very best best of YOUR looks. If she's confident, be more confident yourself. If she dresses beautifully, you make every effort with YOUR image and choice of outfits. And so on. It's natural to feel a bit 'down' when you hold yourself up to her and find you're still quite a bit short of the mark. That's part of the incentive power too. And don't think that because there are things you haven't realised or secured for yourself YET, that they are 'impossible'. Dreams are not the same as ambitions. If you're going to hit a target you've got to HAVE a target. You've got to see the target.
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It happened for the first time in my life today, and I go to Wal-Mart probably more than any other store. I feel offended. Wal-Mart is not like Costco, where workers always check receipts, so I feel like I was discriminated. I was taken aback, I thought the greeter was just going to say "good-bye" like they normally do, but then he asked me to show my receipt for literally $7 worth of items, in bags. I did self-checkout and then walked to the other side of the store, because it was heavily raining and I wanted to be closer to my car. I've done that a lot, actually, and never envisioned that could potentially come across as suspicious. But then the guy says I could have just somehow snuck in items and eluded all of the other Wal-Mart employees that would have seen me from the self-check out area all the way to the other side of the store. If that ever happens to me again, in any store in where receipt showing is not routine, I'll say to only show my receipt to them at the line for returns, and then vow to never again visit their location. Is this a fair response? I was wearing gym clothes, but I didn't look sloppy. I don't see why I would be singled out without any probable cause, but the assumption by the worker that I inherently would think to steal $7 worth of items, based on thin air. I work and have a clean criminal record. Unless that employee asks every single person who walks out that door to show their receipt, how is it not discrimination? Do I have any grounds to complain to a manager? I'd like to know that specific chain's policy. It's one way or the other. Either it makes sense they should ask all people to show their receipts, or they should ask nobody, unless there is actual probable cause other than some kind of random stereotype pulled out of that greeter's ass. (link)
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I wouldn't be too offended or take it as a personal affront to your dignity if I were you. I'd assume that if the greeter asked to see a receipt then they were not steping outside their authority, so making a formal complaint will probably not achieve anything either. And I doubt you'd have any grounds to claim discrimination. All stores have to deal with theft from the shelves (termed 'shoplifting' in the UK) and it costs them a fair bit of money. If a routine stock-check at a particular branch showed a higher than usual number of losses the manager might well tell all the staff to be extra vigilant, keep an eye open. Maybe a directive to check every 10th or 20th shopper for proof of purchase was put out? You might have been 'the one' however you were dressed, and whatever the value of goods you were carrying. If the bigger losses were goods which are mostly bought be shoppers from teens to mid-twenties then they might be told to concentrate the checks in this age-group in partucular? I can see you ARE offended, but try not to take it as a personal insult. Not everyone is as honest as yourself. Anyone can walk into a store. The fairly recent popularity of 'self-checkout'. It's quick and means the store has to pay less cashiers which cuts their fixed-costs. It also relies more on the complete honesty of the shopper as there is more scope and opportunity to be dishonest than having all point-of-sale cashiers. Remember that in shoplifting incidents the store is the 'victim'. Personal victimisation does make us wary, less trusting, more suspicious of everyone. It's the same for the store management. Although it certainly felt 'personal' I sincerely doubt YOU were singled-out as a potential thief here. Grabbing people at random and checking receipts is embarrassing for the innocent party. But it is meant to be a high-visibilty act, to deter people who might be thinking of doing it. If the would-be thief wanders around for a while and observes the greeter never seeming to check ANYONE they'll tend to fancy their chances. A vigilant checker makes them think twice.
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Hi everyone! 13/f
So I am a soccer player who does approximately 4-5 hours of intense running. I have started to go throw my growth spurt and going shopper for larger sizes when I relized I have way larger thighs than most girls. I have very little fat in that area and a ton of muscle which is good in way, but girls where I live don't have big thighs. I can't stop running and do other exercises to tone my muscles BC I am on a team, but I don't want to look bigger than all my friends, especially since I'll be wearing shorts soon. Plz don't say that I shouldn't try to change my body and that puberty will fix everything. The truth is that if you don't look a certain way, people look at you differently and great you differently. I can't change that. What can I do to fix my issue? Thank you. (link)
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Like adviceman49 said, no-ones fobbing you off with age/puberty stuff. The development of muscle will determine shape, and your legs are particularly susceptible and noticeable. The muscular development is key to your condition and fitness for your soccer...it's all about general stamina...and strong legs! I guess there's a need to 'conform' to a particular ideal in our teens. But really, are slender and fragile looking legs the all and all of the matter? Have you noticed the way high-heels change the shape of legs just putting them on? Calf muscle tightens, so do those big thigh muscles. Your bottom pulls in, tummy flattens and the thigh takes on a long and graceful arc. Maybe that's why 'heels' are a by-word for glamour, and have stuck around over decades while a million fashions have come and gone? There's nothing so attractive as a young woman with good muscle tone and shape to her legs. Believe me. Not 'fat legs'...nor 'skinny legs' (like matchsticks!)but a properly sexy physique that looks in good shape....because you ARE in good shape. You don't wanna be looking at your legs in shorts and boots on the pitch. You're there to play and win. You've actually got a great asset in your favour. Muscle-tone means 'fit' and fit is ALWAYS attractive. Course, if they get a nice golden tan from training in the sun as well....even better! They'll be greeting you with envy mate. Relax! NOBODY looks at an athletic physique (in a male or a female) and thinks "That's horrible...I'm glad I don't look that buff!" do they???
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I started my period on the 17th of March and it ended on the 19Th. (3 DAYS LONG) (started and ended over night) picked up my husband I am now separated from on the 23Rd of March (4 days after my period) had sex. From the 26th of march to today, everyday I have been sleeping with my bf. Both men fished inside,
I have a normal 28-30 day cycle.
AND I am now pregnant. is there a possibility it's my husband's? Or is it most definitely my bFs. Both men are aware of the situation and supportive (link)
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I'd think there would be a higher probability of your boyfriend being the father but would suggest that testing is the only way you'll get a definite answer either way in this case. The timescale involved must leave an elemnt of uncertainty about things, and 'rules of thumb' might be misleading. As obviously fertilisation of an available ova is a single (and subsequently exclusive) event rather than a question of majority or frequency of opportunity. Sorry I can't be of any more help.
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