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i tried to have sex with my boyfriend but it didnt workHEKPPPP
My boyfriend of 3 months and I both decided to lose our virginity..were only teenagers but dont think that matters since we love each other. The only problem is that when we tried...it wouldn't go in..it was very embarrassing for me and I don't know why it didn't work..i wasn't nervous or anything and neither was he so I don't know why it didn't work out and would like some advice so that this doesn't happen next time..thanks
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I understand wanting to have advice to avoid this happening again as it wouldn't be just embarrassing but real frustrating if this special way to show you love some one isn't working. I will give a few reasons why it might not work and all are physical related issues.
The woman doesn't have enough lubrication or his precum isn't enough to lubricate so it will slide in. You would think he could just force it in. I am getting older so that men I've been with before my husband were all experiencing occasional problems with erectile dysfunction. Same for my hubby now sometimes, so I understand wanting to avoid this again.
So I can tell you that as a seasoned experieenced sexual person, there can be days where lubrication is the issue however we are eventually able to overcome but just applying more than we originally did. If for some reason you don't produce enough liquid to lubricate, you're not odd, many women have that issue, even if fully aroused.
Along with dryness, add in the male being hard enough to look erect but not hard enough to slide in. I know its something that young men are not supposed to have a problem with but I have a feeling young people are too embarassed to say anything if it occurs with them. I hear of males who more and more often have zero sex drive. My husbands daughter for example told him she was running into nothing but guys who had no interest in sex what so ever, every single one. And she had a high healthy sex drive. Add to that more people being born with more variations of gender identification than ever existed in the past and scientists finding in some animal species, the latest being fish, a great number born with both sets of genetalia. This is a toxic world and its having its effect on us slowly.
So it IS entirely possible the male has an issue. I dont know, I wasn't there to see how hard he got, you really need as hard as a rock or stick, one reason it may be called a woody.
I know of a couple men who confessed at mid twenties to thirty admitting they had a problem and went to Dr. got their hormones checked and it was way too low so the solution is taking testosterone pills for rest of their life. I am going over this in detail as it is a possible realistic issue even tho it may not apply to you two.
Another issue, one I only learned of recently but there's plenty info on the net is the female having what's called a septate hymen. This means that the extra circle of membrane that usually surrounds the circumferance of the vagina, is a tough strip of membrane going down the center which now creates two much smaller openings. Enoug for period fluids to go in, maybe a tight squeese to get tampons in but a penis...no way, not unless it caused lots of discomfort and pain and he succeeded in tearing that membrane which most young girls who've written who had the same issue, he cant get in, it was a septate hymen. Seeing a gynecologist will fix that, they do a simple procedure of snipping that membrane away after local anesthesia. If parents don't know, you're sexually active and this is the issue, it is too awkward to bring up but you can go to a free womans clinic for help or check with Planned Parenthood. They will see teens and anything having to do with their reproductive health will remain confidentila, not even parents will know...thats the law.
As odd the possibility, these are the reasons why it wouldn't work. So have a heart to heart talk and discuss the issues I brought up to see if any applies to you two. hE may be visually able to look and see if you have a septate hymen. See photos on the net of what it looks like to be able to identify. If its not a physical issue on your part or his, then it will be a matter of experience, even if not scared or nervous. Honey, trust me, that for those who remain sexually active all their life into old age, you will find theres the possibility to continue to experience new things with your lover, not the basic functions but new ways your bodies react to each other. So give it time otherwise and your bodies will tune into each other and soon you should have success. It means pleasing each other in other ways if it not working for him to enter you. If neither of you have talked, get over your embarrassment and talk about it. It is vital in having a good sexual relationship to have the most excellent communication, your partner is not a mind reader so each must say, more or can you change and go slower, faster, harder, or that was good but lets try this, and show what you want. I have a feeling that if you can talk, that may end up the biggest thing to help you both thru it all.
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It's not always a great success first time I'm afraid. You are certainly not the only couple to experience this, by a very long way. Even though you say you weren't nervous, I'm pretty sure you both were. Maybe not on the surface level, but subconscious anxiety is very strong in effect. There are a couple of likely reasons why it 'wouldn't go in'. Firstly, your body might have reacted to the anxiety by involuntary muscle tensing. Fear, anxiety, stress (call it what you will) does make our muscles tense-up and tighten. Naturally, you have some stong muscles 'down there' and if they tense-up (just when you don't want to be tight and tense!) it will be very difficult for a guy to penetrate you. The anxiety in guys very often prevents them from keeping a full-on erection. Don't know if this was the case? If so, don't worry. It's not a physical problem for the guy, it goes away when the anxiety eases! It was maybe a bit of both I'd guess? After a few failed attempts, well...your anxiety levels go through the roof. You both get extra wound-up because it's 'not happenning' and this pretty much kills off any chance of sex this time. I'd suggest you try again. Lots of kissing and cuddling and foreplay until you are nice and relaxed, and feeling nicely wet. Have condoms ready and be satisfied that you know exactly how to use them properly to remove any 'pregnancy' worries. Laying on your back, with your legs apart and knees raised slightly is a comfortable and easy position for him to penetrate you. When you both feel ready (not a minute before) breathe nice and slowly and deeply, foucus on relaxing your body as much as possible and let him get in position over you. If it 'doesn't work' go back to a more foreplay and try again after a few minutes. If after three or four attempts it still isn't happenning it's probably best to give it up and maybe relieve each other by hand? And try again later. It can be pretty stressful having sex first time, and like we said, a lot of the fears are working away below the surface, where they can really put a brake on your performance. It's nothing to be embarrassed about really, though I appreciate you probably are still cringing at the thought of it? Put the failed attempt behind you. I promise you it's not unusual, and you'll be enjoying sex very soon.
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