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Q: 16/f and he is 18

so my ex boyfriend recently broke up with the girl he went out with before and after me. during the time of dating her he asked all sorts of rude questions, but now that they are over all he wants to do is hang out with me. Keep in mind i havent seen this boy in abouts 5 months, its just strange. I completely lost all my feelings for him (at least i think) He was what i considered my first love ( lost my virginity to him) I want to see him again, but i have a feeling my emotions will resurface for him. Im not afraid of hooking up or anything its just the whole emotions aspect, plus my parents completely hate him now. Do you think i should even bother wasting my time on him, because i would love to maintain a friendship (although i highly doubt he wants that) What do you think?
I think you should keep pushing. I look at it like this, he's running back to you. And if you and him get together, and he crushes your emotions again, and starts dating another girl and they break up, Is he going to come running back once again??

You never know what you got until its gone. And your gone so now he misses you.

If you just want to be his friend, and he wants more, then you need to let him go.

Q: okay soo i have a couple questions.
i have this guy we have ben on and off since last summer we ended it last summer because college then this summer got more intimate and stuff but the thing is we are so rude to eachother. like we flake on eachother. on the other hand, he has been talking about sex lately. i wouldnt mind doing it. its just its my first time. and im afraid of getting pregnant because im not on birth control. last time i mentioned to my mom she said no.

Basically i feel like we use eachother cause we both havent moved on. What do you think?
What are some good ideas so i can presuade her to let me get it?
ohh and what are some good sex tips?
Use a condom. She isnt going to let you get birth control because she feels like your going to have sex which yo plan on.
Also its your firts time so use lube.

Q: i asked this question before, and no i don't want the same answers like no you cant becuause i know theres a way. but how can you make your breasts larger? someone answered and said eating butter, but how much, and when i went to look at the answer it was gone. so whoever answered with the butter thing, can you tell me again in more detail? and doesn't not wearing a bra to bed make them sag when you get older, or does it really help? thanks
yes. not wearing a bra makes your breast sag. lol. Thats about all i can help you with.

Q: theres this boy that i like and have been best friends with for over 4 years and i love everything about him except he always seems to try and get compliments out of me or something. he'll be all like "oh, i'm so ugly" when he knows he isnt and he knows i dont think he is either. he'll also try to say that hes pathetic when he has no reason to and tons of other things. because i like him, i guess i always respond with anything to try and make him feel better. am i feeding his ego? why does he do this?
He just needs reassurance. Some people are self conscious even though they may be pretty, among other things. They just want to hear that they look good so they will feel better. As far as you feeding his ego, yes you are, but its in a good way.

Q: ok so my boyfriend is 17, weve been together a little over a year. and like were promised to each other and the whole nine yards. well, usually hes the type to call me 5 times a day everyday. this wknd i barely heard from him at all. i havent seen him in a week either. we were supposed to hang saturday but he left me a msg sayin nvm that hes goin to his brothers to spend the night. but it turns out he didnt go. well he went sunday instead. and came back and was tellin me a lil about it. so it was him, his bro & his gf, and this other girl whos my age [16]. so they all hung out and whatever and they were watchin a movie and my bf was layin in the floor and this girl was on the couch but then she got down to lay in the floor w/ him till she went to bed. well last week i invited him to go to the beach with me next wednesday - saturday although i told him its not a SURE thing but a probably. well today he says hes goin to florida like next sunday-tuesday, because his bro & his gf are takin this other girl back home soo hes goin too and i guess theyre stayin at her house for three days? and he cant go w/ me because thats too many days off work. so i was on his myspace and see they were talkin and hes sayin how it sucks sooo bad that she has to leave but hes glad he gets to go with them to take her back [this was today, but before he told me hes was goin with them] and askin when she'll get to come back and stuff. and shes all in aggreement and everything. and just GRR. so im the jealous type which he knows but i try sooo hard not to let it show as i dont want to cause probs and end up breakin up and stuff. i guess im thinkin the worst in this case but i mean do i have a right to be upset here? bc i guess he noticed the tone in my voice that i got kinda upset when he said hes goin with them instead of me so hes all "dont be mad at me" and blah blah blah. ive already had a rlly hard wknd which he is aware of so this was just icing on the cake. i mean, idk, i just need some input....
He probably has a crush on this girl or thinks she is really cool. But here is the thing. She lives out of state, so it really isnt anything to worry about. At least he told you about the girl. It isnt like he tried to hide it. It would have been a problem if he didnt even mention this girl and you found out. So cool your nerves before you lose him because of your jealous ways.

Q: my mom is convinced that diet soda is fine to drink but i heard if you're on a diet or trying to loose weight then even diet soda is bad for you. is this true?
All sodais bad for you really.
I read a report today about an inconclusive study, that states diet soda can contribute to heart associated problems just like regular soda can. So I guess that answered your question.

Q: I want to know if i'm a mean girlfriend. Some people tell me I am. But my boyfriend says im not. The other people tell me im mean because I hit my boyfriend all the time. But im only playing around when I do it. Sometimes I will call him a bitch and other names like gay. But like I said im only playing around. I really want to know if Im mean. Because I don't want to lose him. So am I a mean girlfriend?
That kind of stuff will run a guy away. Even though your just playing, he will probably get fed up with it. What if he did the same to you? Hit you, and called you a bitch? Even if he was just playing?

Q: I can't wait to start high school! I'm a fashionable girl, but I want to vamp up and mature my style a bit for a new look. Any tips on whats in, cheap steals, or anything you just personally love? I usually put my own spin on things with funky shoes or belts, but my styles getting a bit old.

Please do not suggest Hollister, Abercrombie, or skinny jeans as a style.
Wearing layers is cool. Like a ubdershirt that hangs lower than the top shirt but is a different color. Its normally worn with a dark jean, or a stone washed jean. I like shirts that button down a little past the breast, Then a flare leg pant, with a belt with a big belt buckle. Boot cut jeans are always better than flare leg because the cover a tennis shoe better and look better.

Q: Theirs this guy nick i've been crushing on for a month he likes me so he asked me out and a said NO! i was shocked i said that!
Then my ex bf comes along and he was kind of the one that got away starts to hold me hand and in the inside i was like melting! hehe! and it was like i wasent controlling myself cuz i was like what do you think your doing we are not together...
then this guy comes along YUCK he's sooooo BLAH and he asks me out i usually am nice in rejection this tyme it was just a plane harsh fast rejection of the word NO! i felt s bad.. but is my heart or brain tellingme i shudent date or what is going on everyone's telling me i shoudl date!! like i've dated 3 guys and they've dated 45!! Those 3 were tragic is that why i'm scared to let myself out there because of experience?

-THANKS 18/F
You dont feel like going threw anymore bullshit basically. Dont let them rush you. Take your time, and when you like something, go for it. Because your always have to expirence bad to get to the good.

Q: my mom has finally decided to really work at losing weight. i'd go on a diet with her but im already under weight so im helping her by basically being her coach. she's 5'6" 210lbs and 51years old. so far she's eating smaller portions(she normally skips lunch), she cut out chips and cookies and junk food from her diet and she's been doing 50 crunches on one of those ab-lounges a day.it's only been three days so far but she seems really commited how much will this help her? what else can she do? we're going on vacation in a month and i made her buy a pair of pants that are 2 sizes small for her now. hopefully she'll drop 2 sizes in a month. do you think it's possible?
It probably is possible. How bout 50 cruches two times a day?

And more baked foods. Baking foods cut back on fat. A colorful salad along with the baked foods helps. Protien helps. And drinking water helps you feel more full. So that will make you cut back on eating. But try vitamin water so she is still getting the nutrients.

Also if you want to encourage her, Just eat healthy with her. And dont do the exercise.

Q: I seriously need help!
I am 13.
I recently moved across the country, from the towwn which I lived all my life.
At my old school there was this boy my age who really liked me... I was unsure at the time whether i liked him or not...so i sorta gave him the impression i disliked him...
I know he still liked me though because i would look up to see he was staring at me, and he purposly bumped into me in the halls.
But when i moved i cant stop thinking of him..
Should i conntact him?
yes. Contact him. You might cross paths again one day.

Q: Here are 2 pictures of me i wanted to get caramel streaks do you think it would suit me ?
And can you tell more hair coloured streaks that would look good thanks much!
you didnt post the pics. Do you have a myspace? Or any other site with a pic on it??


Q: is there any good websites that is all about blogging..and people can read the blogs and comment?
blogspot. So im told.
You can blog at myspace and people can read and comment, but they have to be on your friend's list. You can blog on livejournal.

Here's a great idea. Type in "blogging sites" in your search box and see what all sites pop up.

Q: i try masterbating but i cant find the hole where i put the sex toys in. where is the hole and what is a gspot?
Um wow. The hole is right of your rectum. And thats pretty much all I can say with out getting in trouble. A gspot is just a point that you peak at. You will now when you find that.

Q: ive recently had a pretty bad outbreak of chest acne like in the past week and ive never really had that much before. i have no idea why. ive been scrubbing it but it doesnt seem to be doing much. what can i do?
scrubing isnt good. Do you use antibacterial soap? Try that if you dont. And also make sure your whole body is completely dry after getting out the tub, because air carries dirt, and dirt can get into your open pores causing body acne.
You can also use anything that you use on your face while you are taking a shower. And if you are a guy, the have shower gels among other things that specialize in this area.

Q: ok.14/f. so i have a question about high school dances. i'm going to be a fresman and i'm kinda confused about the big dances. like winter formal and all of those. so, i know that only juniors and seniors can only go to prom, unless you're like a fresman or sohphmore and you have a date whos a junior or senior. but what about winter formal and all the other big dances like that? can you go at any age, with any aged person? or is it like prom?? i know like just regular dances you can go whatever age, but i would just like to know. thanks!!
Well Im pretty sure everyone can go to winter formal. And homecoming, But your school will explain all this to you when the time comes. Also if your date is an older person, you most definately can go.

Q: Okay. I like this boy his name is Eric, and he doesn't like the fact that I've gone on a diet. I assure you.. It's a healthy diet I eat, exersize and not once has my finger been remotly close to my mouth for the purpose of vomitting. I have a condition, Acanthosis Nigricans(thinking I spelled it correctly..) which is a discoloration to the neck. Well if I keep doing what Im doing which was eating all the time, never exersizing, Im sure to get Diabetes. Which it me is a death sentance because Im Insulin Resistant. I would die. I dont want to tell him because I dont want to worry him but im getting tired of him saying I should eat something when I ate likea halfn hour ago. Im 14 im not saposed to eat all the time and he doesnt understand.
I dont want him to worry but I dont want him to accuse me of not eating when I do it right infront of him.
How do I explain things to him without sending him into panic?
Well the best thing to do is to tell him about your condition. He is worrying anyway right? Well he is going to continue to worry if you dont let him know what the deal is with you.
In the future he could get mad because you keep this from him.

Q: I have a month before school starts, and came up with a little diet plan to lose a few pounds. Is this okay? Any suggestions?

Breakfast-Egg white omlette with peppers and onions, orange juice, coffee.

Walk puppy

Lunch- Slimfast or protein shake (or any suggestions?), piece of fruit

Walk puppy

Do pilates

Dinner- What my parents make, but with more veggies than anything else.

Desert- One scoop of frozen yogurt.




How many pounds will I lose, what should i change, and is this healthy for a vegetarian?
Yes this is a healthy diet. But you are going tos still be a little hungry dont you think??
How bout a couple of pieces of fruit for lunch? Or switch it up and eat a salad?

Make sure you drink water!! It keeps you hydrated and it can also make you feel full.

Q: Background: I'm East Indian but born in America, but my parents were immigrants to this country. I've always been loyal to my family, but its almost like they are determined to sabotage any happiness in my life.

The girl I was going to marry- they hated b/c she wasn't Indian or up to their standards, and made my life and hers such a living hell that she had to leave. I love her still, but I know that my parents will never accept her.

I'm debating if I should just bid my parents and my family goodbye and try to find myself? My parents were arranged and they expect the same for me. I don't want that, but I'm torn b/c I'm loyal to my family but I want to be in love when I get married.

This pain of conflict is tearing me apart inside, that I've started drinking too much at times and maybe taking some other pharmaceuticals to relieve the pain (ie vicodin, percocets).

I still love her and I don't think that I'll ever get over the girl I was going to marry.

(sorry if this doesn't make sense, but i'm a bit drunk while writing this).
Its time for you to live your on life. Even if this means leaving your parents for a little while. You should worry about your happiness and what matters to you. Move away if thats what you want to do, but stay in touch. They will be dissappointed, but when they see that your happy they will get over it.

Q: f/14 Ok Im black and Indian I need help on what color I need to get tipps of on my hair-i have a reddish brown skin town(it's near Bowwows tone) i thought of red tips-but I duno- is it even good for me to do it??

p.s-I have a short (to my shoulders) hair due-I know its not important but please help-thanks
no chemicals are really good for your hair, but you should be fine.

A reddish color would be cute. Or maybe some dark caramel highlights.
But I would be safe and go with the red.

AND its a site online that has hair spray thats colored, and it washes right out. You should do that and see if you like it. If you dont then it wont be permanant.

www.bloodvials.com

bio
khadiya
Its A brand new year!! And I havent really been giving advice lately so now IM BACK!! If you have something to ask dont hesitate to ask. DONT BE SHY!! I've been there! Or I know someone who has!


I am a black albino female whose been through alot!!! I have a lot advice to give. Im a very knowledgeable person, and i look at things from many different views. Im very blunt, so if you dont want to hear it straight dont ask me!! any thing else you wanna know get at me!



LET ME REINTRODUCE MYSELF REAL FAST, REAL QUICK!
iM A BLUNT PERSON, IF YOU ASK A GROWN UP QUESTION, IMA GIVE A GROWN UP ANSWER. RECENTLY A GIRL ASKED HOW TO GIVE A BLOWJOB AND I WAS VERY BLUNT AND UPFRONT WITH HER. I GOT SHUNNED FOR MY ACTIONS SO, BASICALLY. IM GOING TO TRY TO AVOID ANSWERING QUESTIONS LIKE THIS. BECAUSE ALL THOUGH THESE KIDS ASKING THESE QUESTIONS ARE YOUNG, THEY OBVIOUSLY BEEN DOING SOMETHING THEY AINT GOT NO BUSINESS DOING BECAUSE THE WOULDNT BE ASKING THOSE TYPES OF QUESTIONS.

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