I am a real live adult who couldn't care less about ratings. If you want intelligent advice or an educated opinion, I'm here.
Gender: Female
Occupation: Microbiologist
Age: 24
Member Since: May 3, 2006
Answers: 670
Last Update: September 8, 2006
Visitors: 29052
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ok....this is hard to talk about but im going to try to get it out best i can.im in college, and i really like this guy( ill call him rob) for a while. we never hooked up or anything, but talked dont the phone here and there.sometimes he use to joke around about things he wanted to do with me sexually,but i always just thought he was kidding because we were kinda friends.so this one day, i was really drunk and he called me to come over to his apartment. i was so excite because i really like him and he alwasy told me what a great girl i was and how he liked me alot. i thought one day he was really gunna get serious with me. Anyway, i went there and he told me he wanted me to listen to some song in his room, i went in and when i did his roomate was in ther and i kind aheard him tell him to leave, then he left rob locked the door. i started to get nervous because i wasnt really expeting to hook up with im or have sex, but i just went with it because i was so drunk. we end up starting to hook up and then it just got bad. we started to have sex, which was ok with me because i thought he really like me and it was going to be so great.it ended up be the most hurtful thing i have ever gone through, pyshcially and emotionally. he was having sex with me really rough, and it hurt really bad, i was very drunk but i managed to say your hurting me, so he would stop, but then he would just do the same thing again. he was throwing me around the bed like a rag doll, and i was crying inside.i said stop it hurts, but he took that as "stop for a sec then start again" this went on for a good 20 mintues till i fianlly made up some excuse to leave.when i left i cried the entire way home. i got home and i had bruises bewtween my legs already.i was so hurt because i though he like me and he treated me so terribly....but what i always wanted to know was...is that considered rape or something close to it???sorry so long, i just pushed it out of my mind for song long becauseit really screwed me up in the head to the point i cant trust guys anymore and talk of sex with a guy totally scares me...advice please what do you think??im i blowing this out of poportion? because i didnt exactly say or scream stop like i was being raped....i dunno please advice (link)
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This would never hold up in court. You were willing at the start and it doesnt sound like you resisted him very much, like when you said "stop", it was taken as "stop for a min", and you didn't exactly jump up and try to get away. Saying "you are hurting me" is not saying "I don't want to do this anymore". Then, when you "found and excuse to leave" you left without incident (i.e. he didn't hold you against your will). I think he treated you disrespectfully, but I wouldn't agree that he raped you. I understand that this would hurt you emotionally, so I think counseling is in your best interest. I also think you ought to learn to become more assertive to avoid letting someone treat you like this, if it isn't what you want. I'm sorry if I sound callous about this, but there really is a distinct difference between rape and what you went through, and it must not be taken lightly either way. You really need to talk to someone to deal with your issues on the subject, but don't confuse a negative encounter with actual rape.
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My boyfriend and i have been dating for 5 wonderful months. he is the best, and i cant even describe him. though the other day, he talked to me about engagement, which i am quite excited for. though me and him would have to keep it on the downlow for i am going to be 16 and he will be 18. he isnt going to ask for awhile yet(falltime or beyond that time, hes thinking), he just brought it up because he wanted to see how i felt about it. i actually feel wonderful about it and i feel very ready. i love this man with all my heart and have never felt this way about someone before. i dont have much of a family, but him and his family makes up for it. im not reallt needing advice, cause i know id say yes in a heartbeat, but am i crazy for being excited at 16 y/o and i know it will be easy to hide from my parents because i hide everything from them, but is this a ridculous decision?!? thanks alot (link)
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Hi, how about an answer from an actual adult? Yes, it would be a ridculous decision. I'm glad you are so in love and happy, and my advice to you would be to enjoy it, live it up, persue any future plans that you want. I promise you that it will not work out, but it doesn't matter because you should have a good time with it in the carefree way that you have beem while it lasts. Sure, say yes! Do it all! when it ends, and when you're older, you'll look back on yourself at this age and just smile. I hope you don't actually tie the knot though, divorces are messy and it's doesn't look very respectable when you are in your early 20's and you aready have an ex-husband. Again, it doesn't matter because (statistically speaking) you probably won't get that far. If you decide that is really the best thing for you, then more power to you. Have fun!
Good for them. Now I just think you are an idiot.
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Alright this may sound weird, but I stuck 7 of those really skinny markers up there to masturbate, and it started to hurt so I pulled them out and they were all bloody. Is it possible tht I popped my own cherry? If so what can I do to hide it, and keep from bleeding. (link)
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Yep, that would do it. It shouldn't bleed for long, a day or so at absolute most, some people will only bleed for an hour. Wear a pad (I wouldn't do a tampon for this) until the blood flushes itself out. You can't stop the bleeding, is just has to come out. if (of course) you have profuse or gushing bleeding then see a doctor.
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okay i know i havent said this before but i've been thinking about it a lot and i guess i just want some opinions or something.
so i've never lived with my parents...most kids who dont or something their parents arent very close by and if so not REALLY close. (just what i've heard about) anyway...i live with my grandmother and believe me i love her and all but i guess it bothers me how my parents dont have me living with then when they are the next house over...also they are still my legal guardians. which does not make sense to me because if my grandmother grew me up and everything why do my parents get to decide what i do i mean they dont even know anything about me my. yeah sure they buy me things and when i was little and sick my mom would come over but i never even spent one holiday at their house and im 13...weird? or no...
(ps: i've probably slept at their house 10 times in my whole life...if that)
~thanks - Rosemarie (link)
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No, it isn't "weird". Obviously everyone wants the best for you, and it was determined that your grandmother could care for you better then they could. It's totally ok if you don't want to live with them now or get close to them, their lack of effort in your life is apparent. If I were you, I would stay with my grandmother and see if my parents were serious about establishing a relationship with me separate from that. If nothing changes (i.e., they still don't invite you over, do things with you, spend quality time) them maybe it is STILL in your best interests to stay with grandma.
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I was just wondering if it was at all possible for someone to get pregnant after having dry-sex.. or when the girl doesnt have clothes on, but the guy does? ... thanks (link)
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Ah, they are all wrong my dear. Is is unlikely but entirely possible. Cloth clothing is no match for sperm (if sperm has touched the clothing, and it does even if you haven't come yet), if the sperm-touched clothing has touched her vaginal area- it is within the realm of possibility. Again though, it is unlikely.
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In all honestly..can some precum get you pregnant? My bf have sex and we like to not use a condem for like 30 seconds at first. then he puts one on..and we go for 5-7 minutes usually (sometimes less sometimes a minute or so more) and he finishes. the likliness of me getting pregnant isnt all that high right?
second question...my bf only lasts for 3-7 minutes. is this normal? i have heard of guys going for 15 mins,30 mins, etc. is there any way to increase how long he lasts?
third question..i was dumb and made a horrible mistake thinking i would be ok if we had sex on the 4th and 5th day of my period (which was light at the time because 5th day is my last day) unprotected. my health teacher told me it was unlikely but still possible. i took a pregnancy test today..and im due for my period right around now or within the next 3 days about. .it came out negative. should i still be concerned?
PLEASE HELP! if you only know the answer to 1 of my questions..please answer! 5's for anyone who is nice! :) thank you so much
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1) Lots of people get pregnant by precum. It is totally possible and you should expect to get pregnant if you continue to do this.
2)If your boyfriend is young and relatively inexperienced then 3-7 minutes isn't uncommon. With age and experience, he will learn to "control" himself and last longer. If he is in his 20's for example, most men last much longer then that.
3)It isn't likely that you would be ovulating during/at the end of your period (which is when you are fertile for pregnancy) but many young people have irregular ovulation cycles so it is impossible to predict. In addition, since sperm can live inside you for up to seven days, you may still be at risk for pregnancy when you do ovulate. If you took at test (and it is around the time of your next expected period) and it was negative I wouldn't worry. It IS a little early but don't stress until your period is missed- then take another test. If it is still neagtive them you are good. Just remember ot use a condom (the pill is better though) every time from now on.
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me && my mom had a major fight && she hit me... and i have a fat lip.. i need help what should i do? it was a few days ago && my lip is still swollen.. should i forgive her? she keeps sayin im sorry, please forgive.. i didnt mean it.. and im like okay... what should i do?? i need help? (link)
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First let me point out that there is a major difference between abuse and dicipline. If your mother hits you often and recklessly, then that is abuse. Although it does sound like she stepped out of line in this case (still swollen after a few days)I don't think she is putting you in any danger. I would forgive her, tell her how you feel. When she hit you, she hurt you physically and also emotionally. There has to be another (non violent) way that she can express herself. Let her tell you how she felt as well. Why did it come to that? What made her so angry? Really work this out!
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i am babysitting but the only problem is the people have a cat and my eyes puff up and i am miserable everytime. only problem is, i really need this job for money!!! any suggestions on what i can do to stop the allergies (link)
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Take a non drowsey allergy medication before you head over there, ask if you can keep the cat in another room, and try to do as many activities as possible outdoors (it IS summertime). Besides this, there isn't much you can do. Some people are severly allergic and cannot be around cats at all, but others have more mild allergies that canbe controlled.
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Okay so my best friend (of 10 years) was going out with 2 guys (wesley and rafi) and rafi had a feeling my friend liked someone else..so i told rafi that my friend was cheating on him with wesley...am i wrong for doing that? i dont think i am because it's not like she was going to marry wesley or rafi so i dont know why she is getting all worked up over it...but what do yall think? did i do the wrong thing? (link)
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Why would you ever throw your best friend under the bus like that? Yes, I think you were a disloyal friend in this case.
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If a guy is really tall, does he have a big penis? (link)
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Nope. There is no way to tell based on any other body characteristic.
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So I read this website that said as soon as you get your period you should go to a gyno but i am only 13 and i have gotten mine, but the thought of going to a gyno scares me because that it the most awkward thing i can possibly think of, going to a random hospital naked and sitting in stirrups? Ummmm no thanks! Is it really weird? (link)
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You don't need to go (unless you are having a problem) until you are 18 or have started having sex (whichever comes first). You should also go if you are thinking of having sex and want to ask some questions. Just because you started your period does not mean you have to go.
There isn't anything to be afraid of though, it's normal to be a little nervous but I assure you that they make it as comfortable as possible and there is nothing to stress over.
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Hello,
I have the stuff called "Sun In" that lightens your hair by the sun and my friend told me that was really REALLY bad for your hair..Is that true. Does it damamge my hair? Should I stop using it?
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It doesn't damage your hair, especially not as much as actual dye products. It looks bad though.
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i'm a 16/m and
i dunno if this is in the right category or not but is it fine that i'm a guy and i shave...everywhere besides armpits and bellow the knees???
i mean i'm pretty athletic looking and really fit...so i thought its just a normal athlete thing.
but some people notice and ask me and its kinda embarassing. some girls like it. some think i'm a freak. i just dont know what to think about it.
i guess i just like the smooth look, body hair is wierd. (link)
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Are you kidding? I can't stand guys who don't shave. It's so much more of a turn on when they care about the details of their appearence. Keep it up.
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I'm feeling bad about something. Well last night after work one of my friends asked me if I'd like to go out to the bar to meet one of her single guy friends. She said he was really nice but he had a handicap- he walks with two canes. Well I met him and he was a nice guy- he kept engaging me in converstation. What I didn't like was he seemed a little pushy- he was already asking what I was doing on my day off and wanted my number. I gave it to him out of guilt. Honestly I was not attracted to him- his handicap had nothing to do with it. Anyways I told my friend afterwards that he was a nice guy but I didnt want to date him- she said "why"? He would treat you like gold- and thinks it's because of his handicap. I told her I just didnt feel a chemitsry. She said she understands. Anyways- what am I going to do when this guy phones me? (link)
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Girl, if you don't like or don't want to date someone for ANY reason, there is nothing worng with that. You don't owe anyone an explanation or an apology because you feel this way. Even if it WAS because of his handicap, it's your perogative to choose who you want to date. Tell your friend (if they ask) that you just aren't feeling it. If they push it, don't elaborate. Just firmly say that you aren't interested and they'll give it up soon enough. When he calls you, just tell him that you think he's cool and you don't mind hanging out with everyone (like you did before) but you don't want to take it further with him, as in a date or anything. Please, don't go out with him out of pity or because you feel pressured to. Just treat him like any other guy who calls you that you aren't interested in. He is a big boy and can handle it, everybody has to deal with rejection. It's just how life is. If you see him after this, be totally friendly, even if he acts put off by you. How he reacts to you is up to him, don't let it bother you.
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What are some nice places to visit in the Caribbean? My dad wants to take me on a scuba diving trip and he asked me where I would like to go in the Caribbean. I don't really know what the islands are like so I need a list of countries that would be safe and fun for a 16 year old female!
Thanks so much!
I'll rate 5's!! (link)
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Cancun, Bahamas, St. Thomas, Jamaca, Domican Republic....Wherever your dad can get a good deal. Remember, no place is exactly safe for a 16 year old girl to go wondering off alone, especially if it's a foreign country. Stick close to your dad. These places are beautiful though.
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okay i think every teen probably thinks the same thing at least once...are my parents doing this because "they care" or is it because they know it'll piss me off? (okay maybe not THAT thing but something along the lines of that) recently i was grounded because i took to many pics with my cam and i was talkin to "unknown" people on IM...YES i know its a bad thing! YES i know someone can be all yea im 16 and really be like 45 or something...i know all of this...but im just not scared. im also not one of those people who think oh it'll never happen to me because i very much know it could b me espically when you have....about 92 people on your buddy list that you dont know...only thins is i only talk to about...5-8 of the 92. okay still bad but whatever obviouly i dont care...right?....or do i? but any way only reason why im so mad about not being able to go on the computer any more (except when im doing homework...like im supposed to b now...)is because theres this one person okay two people i DO know who they say they are...person #1 is because i've seen the person on webcam and honestly i dont think you can fake who you are when ur live on a webcam...the other person i have their address and phone number also i've been talkin to that person for 7months so i dont think hes gonna come rape me...or something...and ya these two people i talk to about stuff i cant talk to my mom and dad about its just easier talking to people you dont know and well you become friends and i knoe everyone or mostly everyone thinks that talkin to someone on the net means nothing but you cant say that until you've been there because u CAN develope feelings for people...and now there just bein takin away and i dont know it just kinda pissed me off and i was thinkin about just going and buying a new mouse and keyboard because my parents took that away...so yea am i totally wrong in what i did and should i buy new things for the comp? (link)
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I am totally with your parents on this one.
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13/f
For the past 2 years, I have had always had discharge coming out several times a day. It doesnt stink or anything, but its annoying to always have to wear panty liners and have my friends think its because I got my period. The thing is, I have yet to get my period, and I did some reading a few months ago (when I found out that it was discharge) and learned it usually comes out before you get your period (or while you have it). Should I see a doctor about this, or is it no big deal? Its not much of a problem for me, I just want to know if its natural or not.
Thanks!
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Totally natural. And yes, you'll be getting your period relitively soon. All woman are different, so your friends may not have the same discharge issues that you do. If it isn't really a problem, you don't have to see a doctor. Just keep doing what you do.
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I'm 14/f and i'm getting my belly button peirced tom.
I really love to work out my abs so i was wondering after i get this done am i still going to able to? and if so how long after should I star again?
Thanks,
Becca (link)
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You'll probably be much to sore to so anything of the sort for a few days at least. Just start working out again when the sorness fades. Yes, you need to cover it up when you do so and put plenty of antibiotic ointment on it.
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I have been really good friends witht this chick for a long time but then she got drunk and something happened one night and she did something that i thought would never happen, she flashed me. I didnt care cause we were too good of friends but i told her what she did and then another one of her best friends told her that it never happened and now she believes them and has forgot about me and wont talk to me...however it really did happen and i have no idea what to do about it..how do i convince her it was true and it did happen? Then if i cant convince her how do i gain her trust back? Thanks! (link)
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She believes them because she WANTS to believe them, not you. She is probably so embarrassed that she did that and now just wants to 1) avoid you because of that and 2) wallow in her denial that anything actually happened at all. Seriously, I don't know why she made such a big deal over this because....she just flashed you- who cares? If she wants to be this way then let her, my guess is that it'll blow over and you all will be friends again shortly. I wouldn't mention the incident again since she seems so embarrassed by it.
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hi ...actually i took that test..after 13 days after i missed my period..well i guess the hormone might be detectable at that time right?... wanted to know if i should take another test is only because i wanna be sure that im not pregnant..and i didnt have sex...i just had oral sex..im still a virgin.. and dat day by boyfriend did not cum.. so plz let me know what i should do..
thanks (link)
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Don't waste your money on a test, there is no way in Gods green earth that you can be pregnant if you have never had sex. And by that time that you did take one, yes; the hormone would have been detectable. You periods are just irregular and if they contiue to be this way you ought to see a doctor- just to get on the Pill to regulate them.
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