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March 14, 2004Answers:
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What's up? Well, I'm sure like each and every other advice columnist is that, we all enjoy giving advice . I like to keep things real and you'll find out how real when you ask me a question . I absolutely love helping people . Hollah at me sometimes !!! Oh, and yahoo me . Goodness sakes knows that I could do with the mail.
advice
ok my boyfriend is really shy. Like we go to the school breakfast (well i meet him there with my friend) but he doesnt sit with me. I have to go over to his table and sit with him. Also, he doesn't call me and when i call him, we don't have even a 6 minute conversation. He's really shy but i kno he likes me a lot and im not so sure we're ever going to kiss..:( how could i make it so he isnt so shy? Thanks bub byezz
Are you sure it's the fact that he's shy? I don't know really if you can change that about him. Just try and understand him. I know that is a lot to ask(unless you talk to him about the issue), but you will find that being understanding in relationships may come to your benefit. You could try to urge him into a conversation that you both could relate to and discuss. A topic that you know that he'll like. Activities that are relevent to the idea above. Just try to engage him in something that you know definitely that he is interested in , and don't push him too hard. Thus comes the understanding factor. Hope I was some help and have a nice day.
i was soo excited that i would be graduating i worked so hard for it. but i was rele nervous i felt as though i would puke i cried because i felt so sad that half of the faces i saw in school today i would never see again. i cried during school and for graduation i knew that i would be the frist out of the entire 8th grade to go. i didnt want to go and i didnt . i let down my family because my fears over took me and now im full of regret and i keep crying. its like i stop crying but i still can feel something empty in me and i just start up again. i missed my own graduation and i feel so stupid and so fucking powerless. i cant beleive i let my stage freight take away something i would have loved to be a part of.
has anyone ever been through this. or whats should i do? i need a little bit of support
Honey, it is alright. At least it was only your 8th grade graduation and you'll have a second chance to redo it all over again with your senior graduation. Don't worry so much. We all choke up and do things like this once in our lives. You're blaning yourself too much. You have to sort of forgive yourself and stop torturing yourself. You know things happen for a reason. Maybe you just wasn't meant to go to your 8th grade graduation, and that's is alright. Maybe you don't see it now, but maybe something good will come out of it all later. I hope I was some help and have a nice day.
ok.........my friend Casey, wanted to bring her boyfriend, me and my boyfriend to the movies on Friday...but im soooo dissappointed with myself but i truley feel my boyfriend will be like "GEEZE! WHY IS SHE HANGING AROUND THAT UGLY THING?" And im really really really nervous about it. Like if he'll talk about her behind her back to me or one of his friends. How do i prevent this??
The only way to truly prevent it is to tell him that you're not/wouldn't be comfortable with him talking behind her back to you or to one of his friends. If he can't accept that, then it's up to you to decide what you're going to do . You can decide if he's the person you thought he was, or if he should just do it and all. Your comfortability is everything. Hope I was some help and have a nice day.
when i was younger, i was a bit chubby and i was really self conscious about it...it sucked being too big for dress up clothes. i was one of the first to wear a bra and get teased by the boys. i had a lower voice than most kids in my grade and i would feel akward singing with the class. well now, i finally took controll over my weight and im known for my singing ability as a strong alto. sounds great, but i still feel out of place. for me its a blessing to wear a size 5, when its fat-pants for someone else. i feel kind of not-as-good because im a young alto. am i making too much of this or can anyone relate? thanks in advanced and you deserve a 5 for readin this.
Yes, I can relate to what you are feeling. I was an alto this year too singing with some very known girls at our school and it felt sort of weird. People sometimes looked at me and their looks said," what are you doing here you don't belong here." I even questioned myself what the hell I was doing . But you have to ask yourself if you're happy with what you're doing. Because I was happy and that's why I didn't stop. I am self conscious too, but I didn't let that stop me either. You're just not used to it all. You will be . If this is your dream and ambition , then fulfill it. If it's what you enjoy doing, then you should do it . And have fun. There's always going to be people who don't support what you're doing, but screw them because if you're having fun in an ethical situation I see no problem for it. All you have to work on is your comfortability in the situation. Good luck and have a nice day. Don't forget, comfortability is everything.
Okay I really like this guy, Albert. He's one of my best friends. He tells me alot of things, he trusts me alot. My friend says me and him are getting closer and closer and that something will happen if he breaks up with Emma (his girlfriend) but she doesn’t know that I like him. Thats the problem. I really like him but he has a girlfriend. 2 of my friends know that I like him. Him and I do everything together in class, like we sit together in class and all. His girlfriend only likes him, she doesnt love him, but Albert says he loves her. Im not sure though and my friend thinks that he’s hiding behind her but really likes me. Everytime I say something he ALWAYS looks at it the gross way. Like if I accidently touch someone’s hand he goes “Someone wants to get it on” and that stuff. At a party, he put his arm around me but just playing (not seriously). And once in class I was turning around to face the teacher and my knee’s touched his knee’s and he did this funny look at me. Is there something wrong with him or does he like me? Coz he says he loves his girlfriend. Oh and his girlfriend is one of my good friends.
No, wait till they break up and then give him some time to heal if he needs it and be there for him. Then ask him out . Show him that you do care. He may just be the understanding type or the flirty type too but you won't know for sure unless you ask him so do it already . And goodluck and I hope I was some help and have a nice day .
Well, there is this girl that I'm okay friends with, but now don't really like her that much anymore. My boyfriend is starting to hang out with her more and talk to her more. Sometimes talking to her more on AOL than me. While I was away for two weeks my boyfriend went on a choir trip to Six Flags. Ashley (the girl that I'm okay friends with) and my boyfriend hung out the whole time. IE. Rode rides together, walked together, got food and ate it together. That doesn't make you're girlfriend feel very good, but now she's in his info. It's an inside joke with her, but surprisingly it's about the same lenght as me in his info. Well, my whole info is about him. Am I being stupid to be mad, that's what he said.
If it's important to you, then it's not stupid to feel mad and this shows that he's being childish and isn't properly considering how you feel. Bring it to his attention because it matters to you. But if it's a small technicality then don't take it too seriously because it could be a one time thing. If it happens again, then lose it. Hope I was some help and good day to you.
I know all guys are different, but do you think it's a turn off if they meet a girl who is almost 18 and isnt experienced (like hasnt even had her first kiss)?
No, because then they think that they can have their own way with you. It's just up to you to controll situations like this. Always keep your wits about you at all times.
Hey! I like this guy but I don't know how to go up to him and start talking see the problm is he barly knows I exist plz help.
Well, we all have to start somewhere from scratch and what you have to realize and acknowledge is that it all takes time. So, you're going to have to be patient. It takes some time. Maybe if he needs notes or help from a study. I don't know but you have to find somewhere to start a conversation. And you can start with anything just don't be too forward or talkitive because that shows how anxious you are and that might freak him out. Just be you and find the time that's comfortable and convenient for you to talk to him. And just be cool and be you. I hope I was some help and goodluck with that.
Ok here it is, my boyfriend hasent called me in like 3 weeks and i called him 3 times in the past week and he hasent returned my calls. When i called him last Sunday to tell him somthing his mom pick up and i asked for him and she said "who is this Brittney" (My name is not Brittney) I have no clue what to do!!!!! Can you help me?
Confront him about it and if he act stupid, break up with his ass before he break up with you. You deserve better if he act stupid. But if he has a legitimate excuse then express yourself and your feelings but be there for him too. Hope I wasn't too rude and I hope I was some help and good day to you.
Ok There is this boy Zac and I Like him A LOT! And my friend Emmie thinks he likes me. I'm just going to say what happened to me when I hung out with him last( I haven't before this was the first time ). Well I was just standing in a corner at a basketball game and he came up to me and said, " Who are you? " and I simply replied my name and then he said " Oh okay I know you " and he walked away to play his basketball game( it was at half time ). When it was over he came over to me and said "Is your screen name g-o-i-n space.." and I just said yeah. Then he kept like sitting next to me. It was really funny watching him though because he was like kind of dancing lol. But anyways he kept coming over and sitting next to me and I was talking to him and he was looking at me this whole time. And whenever I looked over he didn't look away he just smilied. Well then I went outside and he I guess was talking about me because he pointed to me and said something to one of his friends. Well then he couldn't find me I guess but he came outside and started talking to me. I was acting stupid...for some reason I do that around cute guys lol...Anyways he was making fun of me for being stupid. And then he went inside the gym and so did I and he was just looking at me the whole time. < Thats what happened...he goes to a different school soo I don't know if his personality is just like that or anything. But I talk to him on AOL and stuff soo yeah. Well I asked a few people if he was really flirtish and they all said yeah...but thats A LOT of flirting he did right? Okay Well I need your opinions does he like me? I rate high and give comments! ^_^
Some guys just flirt a lot too much. I know a Zack that does that too and I have to wonder if they're all like that lol... But what you have to do is ask him . I know that it seems terribly forward but wasting your time guessing if he likes you isn't going to get you anywhere at all. Then once you ask him you'll know the truth and where to go to from there, Trust me, it's a lot simple that way so go for it . I think if A guy flirts that much that it has to be for some major reason of significance so ask him. Then you'll know the truth and either outcome you'll get to know him or know what type of guy he is . And what do you have to lose: HE goes to another school. I know there's a POSSIBILITY of getting hurt,m but that's with everything and you can't aviod it forever. So go for it already. I hope I was some help and good day to you.
alright well i got into a fight with my best of best friends last night and he was yelling at me for something i didnt do, and he said some stuff about me to my friend that was really sweet and she thinks he likes me and i dont.. he was like, "i appologized [i didnt see him appologize cuz it was in a chat and i wasnt looking] and she didnt even say anything i guess im the one who cares and she doesnt" and then he was like, "i know i guess we treat each other bad sometimes but your not with us every second we dont treat eachother that bad" and then i was talking to him and it was when i was super mad and i was like, im starting to think you never liked me in the first place" and hes like, "yeah thats right _ _ _ _ _ _ _ i hate you and i always have? if i hated you why would i spend almost all my time either with you or talking to you online or on the phone?" so then he started talking to my friend and he started talking to me again and he was like, "i appologized" and i was like, "no you didnt" and he was like, "yes i did, in the chat why dont you start listening" and i was like, "im sorry but i wasnt listening in the chat" and he was like, "w/e" and i wa slike, "tell me now, im listening" and he was like, "i said 'im sorry', i said [my name], im sorry. and you just left." and i was like, "if i would have known that i wouldnt be pissed right now would i" and he was like, "im sorry(again)" and i was like, "im sorry too" and he was like, GOOOD were okay now.
well my friend thinks he likes me.. what do you think?
Yeah I think so . People who argue a lot: definitely does inspire a lot of amorousness, passion and fervent things in a relationship. Now if you want to find out the truth, you'd ask him and get it all over with. Easier said than done, I know, but why guess and ask people what they think when you can have him. Better get him before another girl gets him and really all you're doing is wasting time. Ask him cause I'm pretty sure that he does like you; I hope I was some help and good luck to you.
would you date someone older than you?
If they're 3-4 years older than you, don't go for it cause I wouldn't . Have a nice day.
ok my prob is that i act the right way around the wrong girl. in other words the ugly girls always likes me. and i act the wrong around the right. the hotties hate me wat do i do
Normally, the hotties are self absorbed on themselves or they have directed their quarry to a jock. Just be cool when you get around them and this means keep a cool head. They think that you're superior to them: make them feel the same to you. Show them that you are a man that doesn't need their appeal and that the world doesn't necessarily revolve around them. Women who are self absorbed like a guy that cares nothing for them and it makes them want to direct a new quarry at the guy who cares not. To prove something to themselves. You just have to act as if they don't matter. And don't be so harsh about the ugly girls because most of the time they're hot girls undercover. Hope I was some help because hotties value men that they know aren't available to them. They see it as a challenge. Now, you have to ask yourself are you man and daring enough to take the risk. If you are, then go for the taking. Good luck and have a nice day.
alright my prob is that since i'm not a jock and not a skater or anything like that girls at my school hate me wat should i do
and how can i get them to like me w/o changing my image
You should just be yourself . I know that it may not seem a lot, but when you try hard to be hip , it just ain't so hip . So just try to be yourself and that should just be easy for you. Girls, it depends on their type, like someone who appeals some part of them. Maybe to their moral, the way they act, or the things that they do. You just have to be you and certainly a girl will be pleased to see how you definitely appeal to her. I know these things. The right girl will come. Sadly, you have to wait and be patient and that so sucks. Hope I was some help and good luck to you.
howdy- well, my friend is having her birthday party before i move, and she has no clue what to do! we can't rent a hotel, because her mom said so, and she hates like go-karti'n and crap. anyone have any ideas? it's gonna be like.... 20 13 and 14 year old freshmen girls. something inexpensive and fun!? lol, thanks! :)
Movie theatre, park, dancing, a club that will cause no harm or indescretions at all, mall, shopping that is on a budget. Put some ideas on your ambitions. May be something that you've always wanted to do, a goal, dream, dare, or something that's wild, but that is priceless to you and the party. It's just that you should try to find something that appeals to you and that it should be inexpensible .
hey.. im a 23/m... my mom and my xgirlfriend are like really close. well, we all live at a campsite and we are all really close, there's like, a bunch of friends living together, but i dont really have to explain that. well, they are really close because we've all known eachother since we were like 6, and all the older ones were like, 40. anyway. well, i really think i still like her, a little, but we broke up because i came in drunk and she got upset, and well we were gonna get engaged but it didnt work out. nd now her and my mom are really close and its bothering me a little, because now im all awkward around her, even though ive known her my whole entire life.
I really don't know what you are asking, but I am going to try and answer this question as best as I can. If you still have feelings for her, then maybe they're unresolved feelings or issues that only you can define by looking within yourself. Once you discover the issues, then you have to figure out what you're going to do with them and about them. You have to figure that out because your x will remain being friends with your mother unless it's sabotaged. No hope. You have to figure out if you want to verbally accept it, or if you want to remain awkward around her with these awkward feelings. It's really all up to you. Your choice. When you've figured out what you want to do, then you'll know that it must be right for you. So goodluck with your choice and I hope I was some help. Good day to you.
i have serius issues on depression. i mean everyday for the past month ive been down. please dont make fun of me. i cant help it. i just lost a gr8 friend/boyfriend a couple of weeks ago and i havent been happy or the same since then. i dont want to take freakin pills cause it makes me feel unhuman. it lowers my self esteem. i havent had any self esteem in over a month. everybody told me to move on and find someone else to go out with but its not that simple to move on after a heartbreak. i have changed so much in the past month. Please help me. what the heck should i do? ill do anything if it works. ill rate high and ill write super great about you if you just help me. thanks and please hurry!
Maybe you need to find that someone who will understand you and the issues that you are going through. Someone that would be helpful to lean on in time of definite distress and you seem like you need that someone. I know that this definitely doesn't seem of any significance at all, but really sometimes the things that we see lacking in importance are the things that we need. You seem to need someone who you can fully trust. Someone who won't defy you. Someone who'll listen and be good for you. Someone who doesn't like to wreak intention chaos. Someone who won't influence you badly. This someone doesn't have to be in your neighborhood . You can talk to them over the phone, email, pen pal, etc. You can talk to me. My name is Courtney and my email is Courtney@hwynet.com and my phone number is (864)445-2289 . So you can call me at any time you need me. I hope I was some help. Have a good day.
TOTAL BLUSh! I have blue vains going all down my CHEST and on my breasts they're so embarrasing i cant wear a nice bikini or a low top. How can I make them look not as noticable all my fat goes to my but not any where else really! Im only young so plastic surgery aint' a option any help? Ta x
Certain colors make them not so noticable. The clothing that you wear. Because their are certain colors that attract all sorts of attention . Flaws and the beauty too. IF you could find the right colors to hide those blue shades, then that would definitely do you some good.And since I don't know the texture of your skin, I'm really not that much of help. I could also tell you something that'll help those blue veins too. Coca Butter would should definitely do the job with some time. And if you could dim the veins down with some make-up , then that should help you too. I hope I was some help and hopefully you will enjoy the beach with the bikini on. Oh, and try a tan too. I can't believe I never thought of that. Taning lotion or the sun itself. Maybe you're too pale and that shows it. Well, goodluck. Have a nice day.
I'm 13, 5'6, and 121 pounds. My friends all say I'm skinny, but I don't see a skinny person when I look in the mirror. Are my friends just being nice and saying I'm skinny or am I and not realizing it. Does this lead to eatind disorders? What are some symptoms?
I don't think that your friends are trying to be nice. I think that they are saying the absolute truth to you. I think that you're in denial and that you're not realizing how skinny you are . Thus comes the denial because you're not acknowledging it. Hun, you're probably under a lot of stress about what you're so supposed to look like. But I definitely can tell you that for the age of 13 and the weight of 121, that you're definitely in fine shape. And I personally know this because I have an age and weight scale at my doctor's office. It can lead to eating disorders because the denial itself is a great motivater to anerexia. Women who look in the mirror and don't see their true reflection: thus they begin to think that they're fat and starvation occurs. DENIAL is a great issue. All you have to do is learn how to keep it in check . You need to learn how to do this for it's very important. Some symptoms are denial, slacking in eating, headaches, migranes(sorry if I spelled that wrong). The most common things can sometimes be symptoms. Just be careful okay. Goodluck and I hope I was some help. Good day to you.
ok well you said i should just ask him out because im not getting anywhere/ well what if he just broke up with his girlfriend and still might like her because the only reason why they brokeup is cuz she was not by him enought like not compassionate enough..so he might still like her and i dont wana ruin our friendship...
That is so true too. But what you have to define is what you want from this guy. If you're comfortable with the fact that he likes this other girl while he's still with you, and I'm pretty sure you don't, then you'll have to live with it if you're comfortable with that. It could be the fact that it's too soon. But it's all up to you to decide that fact. You have to decide what you want from him. You also have to think whether he will fulfill those desires appropriately. And , hun, your comfortability is everything. So, be cool . If you decide to go through it all, then you should be there for him absolutely a 100% because that'll define the difference between the exgirlfriend and you. And it'll show how truly compassionate you are. So keep on . You'll do okay. If you don't want to ruin your friendship, it might just take time. And this is because he might need time. And if you want to be truly compassionate, you'll be understanding and respecting towards that. And while you're doing that for him, be there for him too. Show him how amazing you are at all times. The opportunity to be with him will unravel itself. You just have to be patient and you'll know. Definitely. Hope I was some sort of help and have a lovely day.