Sometimes my advice is good advice, and sometimes it's just an opinion. Sometimes people don't take good advice (ironically.) If everybody would just talk to each other, we'd have world peace, so you probably won't see "just talk to them" in my column.
I worked as a Registered Nurse for a few years so I know a little about health.
I think and read about spiritual things. I answer spiritual questions without trying to convert anyone to my own beliefs. I'm a non-denominational Christian, but I believe everyone has a path to follow, and God is patient, so I answer spiritual questions from where you are.
Gender: Female
Location: FL
Occupation: Old wise woman
Member Since: January 12, 2004
Answers: 327
Last Update: June 8, 2006
Visitors: 16193
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I have a biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig butt. Every guy just stares as i walk into the room because my butt is sooooo big. I don't want people to see me as a small waist and a big butt. Please tell me how to make my butt appear smaller
(link)
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You can wear pants (or skirts) that are a solid dark color and lighter color top, and it will make you look smaller.
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Ok, here it goes....
There is this kid, I dont know his name, and I know barely anythign about him, but to me he seems like a really nice person on how he acts with other people, and he is realllly cute, and they just switched our classes around because its half of the year,a nd he ended up in my class!! And Im so happy, but I mean I dont know him, and I dont think he will talk to me... I just dont know what to expect from him...
I just felt like letting it all out...
Have any comments? (link)
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I'm glad you get an oppourtunity to get to know him better now that he is in your class.
But this really doesn't have an advice question in it.
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ok, 4-h is having a camp out of town. my grandma is afraid i'll get homesick. and she doesn't trust everybody. Life is such a drag! She says I can't go unless she is a chaperon. My friends get to go. I told her that they get to go. She says I'm the boss and you're gonna listen to what I say. (i live with her) My friends' dads are chaperones and one's mom is a chaperon. I told her that and she said I'll think about letting you go. I askedmyfriend what were the odds of my grandma(who is 63) of becoming a chaperon. She said 0 out of 10. What do I do? Please don't tell me to wait because i already have waited and asked her about every 5 days. She keeps saying I'll think about it. I know that means no. If you have the odds of her becoming a chaperon or even the chances of me going please tell me even if its stupid. Im desperate! If u nowhat i should do tell me that, too. thanks. :) (link)
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You're grandmother may have other reasons that she isn't saying. She is the only one who can tell you the reason, although she may not. She probably is very protective of you, or just doesn't want you to be gone for that long for her own reasons.
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I recently just became boyfriend and girlfriend with this really nice guy. I really like him and I know he likes me, but he doesn't want people to know about us yet. A dance is coming up and I REALLy want to slow dance with him but I also don't want to give him away to all his friends. I also heard him telling someone he doesn't like anyone when i was right there. I respect that he doesn't want people to know...But i do. What should I do? (link)
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I wonder why he says to you that you are boyfriend and girlfriend, but not to anyone else. It sounds like he is embarrassed by the idea. Maybe his friends are saying things to him about it. I think I would try to get him to talk about why he feels so uncomfortable with the idea of having his friends know. Hopefully he will get over it. If he doesn't, I would break up with him.
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Lately my boyfriend is being very cold to me. He doesn't want to hug or hold me, he barelly calls. I try to be very affectionate with him but it hurts when you get no affection back. He constantly thinks that I am either lying or cheating on him, which I am doing neither. I love him very much and I want things to work out between us but I don't know what else to do to show him I am good to him. What should I do? (link)
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I think he may be getting ready to break up with you. To save your self esteem I would try to prepare for this, and start looking for ways to occupy yourself away from him. Try to spend time with other friends and people you like being around.
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I've been trying lately to wear nicer clothes to work; more suits and ties and things of that sort. I think it helps me out in meetings. But I worry about what others may think and wonder if I come across as too ambitious or uppity for the job I'm in, which is a scrub helper fresh out of college. Can suits hurt a career or just help it? (link)
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This is only my opinion but I think over-dressing for your job can hurt somewhat. You should wear what is appropriate for the kind of work you do. I don't know what a scrub helper is, but the word "scrub" sounds like a suit and tie really aren't appropriate.
If I were your supervisor, and saw you wearing a suit and tie to a "scrub" type job I would think that you weren't confident and comfortable, and were trying to make up for that with your appearance. I would wonder about your judgement. I would also think you were ambitious, but that would not necessarily make me more prone to promote you.
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I have been dating a guy now for about 2 and a half years. We are both shy and moral people so we haven't done anything but kiss and cuddle together. I think that I love him because when we are close together and when he kisses me I get a feeling like no other (like electricity is running throughout my whole body constantly), but when we are not together and when he is not being loving toward me I feel like I want to end the relationship. We have a lot of differences in our personalities and our likes that constantly get in the way of the relationship, and I am always the one who gives into what he wants. He is a spoiled only child with parents who are close to being rich and I am a mature only child who was taught at a very early age the value of a dollar and my parents are divorced so we don't hve as much money (and my mom is kinda cheap). I am getting really tired of him trying to control me and always getting his way, but everytime I think about breaking up I can't do it because we have been together so long and I think I am ultimately afraid of being single the rest of my life if I don't stay with him. (I don't have any other guys that are even flirting with me at work or college) Do you think I should end it with my boyfriend or continue the relationship? (link)
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I think you need a break, even if it is a temporary one. Don't worry about being single the rest of your life. You never know what the future holds. Besides, would you rather spend the rest of your life with someone you had nothing in common with?
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I've been using NetNewsWire Lite and although it claims Atom support, it doesn't understand valid Atom generated by Blogger... so I'm considering dumping it. But first, I need a tip on who to go to next -- I'd like a news aggregator with a nice interface that does both RSS and Atom, works with Panther and is free or Shareware under $25. That, or a hack/fix for NNW Lite (or an assurance that the paid version does Atom better).
Any suggestions?
(link)
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This isn't an answer to your question specifically, but a suggestion. If you don't get a clear answer, try going to the columnists link, and finding columnists from the drop down menu that put computers as a favorite topic, like dolphinlover, downwithhydrogen, or spacefem (for example) and asking them personally. MFS was a good person to ask, but I don't see his name in the list.
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what does seduce mean? (link)
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To seduce means to get someone to have sex with you when they really didn't want, for whatever reason. Usually it is a guy seducing a girl, who is a virgin, or has reasons for not wanting to have sex with that particular guy. But girls can seduce guys, too. It also usually implies that the entire goal is to have sex, and nothing more, no other relationship (but not always.)
It usually involves getting the person into a private place where there are no distractions, and a lot of pressure.
Seduce is not rape, because the girl (or guy) definitely says "yes," where in rape, there is a definite "no."
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lucky even though her parents are divorce, she hardly ever sees her mom, and she's really shy. I got into a big fight with *Amy* and now she'll probably never talk to me again? What do I do? (link)
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I would call her, say you don't want to fight, and you want to be friends. If you are talking about things that are going to make you both upset, try to change the subject. She probably really need freinds right not.
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i hate my mom so much she is so mean all she cares about is my sister and borthere whci r 10 months and 2 months she doesnt ever do anythign with me i feel like killing myself or running away im 13 andi hate my mom so much i cant even explain it she is a real big bitch and she calls me a bitch sometimes to and when im not even doing anythign she beats me and threatens to all the time but i hate it and i need help i try to ignore her for days but that doesnt work wut should i do about my horrible mother? (link)
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I think you need to talk to someone, like a counselor, or a psychologist (maybe through your school or a social agency.) If you are suicidal, definite call the suicide help line in the phone book. They may be able to give you agencies to contact.
Your mother has babies 2 months and 10 months? If that is right, that is really hard on a woman. That is pregnant as soon as one is born with no recovery time. She will need help of some kind too. On top of it, you are 13 which is a very difficult age. So a lot of it may be due to very difficult circumstances. You both need some outside help.
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I love this guy, Jace, but he is going out with my so called best friend..... I really want to tell him how i feel.... but i'm really shy about these things....what do i do? (link)
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If he has a girlfriend, and it is a happy relationship, I would just not do anything. If later they break up (really break up, not just talk) then you can approach him. If you try to break up you friend and him, you will loose your friend, and possibly not have him either.
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okay so here's the thing. I've been with jeremy for 3 years, and he's in jail right now. well he sent me a letter and said that he ran into this guy named travis who apparantly knows me, and this guy is claiming that I'm his girlfriend too. The thing is, I have NO IDEA who this guy is. I've never cheated on Jeremy in my life, and he thinks that I am really with this guy. I dont know what to do. We're supposed to be getting married, but I dont know how to prove to him that I really don't know who this guy is. What should I do???? (link)
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Jeremy sounds like he is jealous and not trusting, which is not a good thing. In fact, how do you know this guy Travis even said you were his girlfriend? I definitely would not marry him because it will only get worse. You will never be able to "prove" anything if he decides to believe you are cheating.
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I made really bad choices for my A levels- I took English Lit, History, Welsh and Chemistry. The first two are fine, Chemistry is really difficult and I can't stand Welsh anymore because the teacher is so horrible.
She is always really negative about everything I do which makes it really hard to motivate myself enough to hand stuff in on time. She says that I have an attitude problem and I suppose than in some ways I do- but she isn't helping. I have to pretend to be cheerful in her lessons otherwise it would ruin the atmosphere for the other members of the class.
She sent a letter home to my parents, they got it this morning so I don't know what's in it. I had to go off to school wondering what was in it.
Today we were supposed to go and watch a welsh TV program being filmed - not important for the course but just a bit of fun. I couldn't face the thought of being with her for 11 hours- from 1:30 pm to 12;30 am ( yep on a school night). I decided not to go. I told her that I had rehearsals because I couldn't say that I wasn't going because I hate her. She told me that I'm selfish, rude, lazy and underacheiving.
I had to go and talk to my form tutor and year head, my tutor was sympathetic but my head of year basically said that shit happens, it's my fault that we don't get on and that I just have to deal with it.
Anyone got any ideas on how to resolve this? (link)
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I had this happen to me when I was in when I was in fifth grade (that is about 10 years old in the US.) I was an A student (top grades) and usually teacher's pet, and for some reason, I got a teacher who hated me, gave me bad grades, and accused me of cheating. I had to live with it and take a failure, but you have my sympathy. I guess your year head my be similar to an assistant principal here, or something. The only thing I can suggest is to keep trying to get sympathy from someone who has authority. Tell them you don't usually (or ever) have these kind of problems and that she is verbally critical without cause. There is a genuine personality conflict. I don't know if you can get anyone to understand at school, but in work situations I was able to take care of things like this make changes. Are you able to just turn this into an audit or something (no grade) and take an other class later to make up for it?
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Sorry, this is so long but please take the time
to read it.We'll call my friend Trea (not her name)Ok, now Trea is the kind of girl who always tries to do the right thing. This boy hit me(we're still under age so it's not against the law.) He put a bruise on my arm Friday. So on Tuesday I (i'm a girl) tried to get him back. He is a lot quicker and stronger so when I went to hit him he pushed me downand I have a sint arm. Wednesday, (today) I went after him again because he had pushed me down Tuesday. I didn't expect to have everything happen that did. Trea, tried to stop me because he pushed me down and I scraped my elbow Wednesday. I was going after him again. I told her to leave me alone (I was mad) and not to tell anyone.My other friend told her the same thing. I went after him because my friend held Trea back. She secretly went and told the teacher on meand the boy. I had almost caught up with him and Trea grabbed my shirt from behind. I couldn't get loose because I was hurting and didn't bother to fight back. She took me to the teacher and they kept asking me questions. I answered as many as I could. They asked me why I hadn't told anyone about the fights. I didn't want to because they usually don't do anything. I can't talk to the boy or his friend (I like his friend but that's not the point) because the teachers won't let us. I don't usually cause trouble. This is my first time. My real question is, is Trea my true friend or not? (link)
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I think she is a true friend. I think she was very worried about you and that is why she tried to stop you and told your teacher.
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So... I've been dating my boyfriend for a very long time (going on six years now), and our six year anniversary is coming up. I would like us to have sex for our anniversary. I have all the proper protection and am of proper age (late teens). I'm on the pill and have a secret stash of different kinds of condoms in my bedroom. I'm a virgin, but he's not, so he has been tested. He is clean (meaning no STD's). All good and well, yes?
No. I'm worried about what my friends will say if my boyfriend and I have sex. Should I be? I mean, of course I'm going to tell them. No way around that, because I just can't keep that kind of secret. They are the ONLY people I would ever tell, though, and I trust my boyfriend completely. But I'm just worried about what my friends will think of me. Again, should I be? (link)
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I am not sure what your motive for having sex is. Do you feel you need to have sex because it is expected of you and you are letting all your friends know that you finally did it? The fact that you are this concerned about what they think, and you plan to advertise this intimate act to them, makes me think having sex may not be a good idea. It makes it seem more trivial than it should be.
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here's the story. im a lesbian, but my family has yet to find out. they have no idea and i want to tell them, but i cant. i know theyll still love me, but i know how much of a disappointment that will be for them(my parents). ive made them happy so many ways, and they said theyre proud to have me as their daughter. and they keep talking about when im going to be a mother some day, and how excited they are because they know theyll be grandparents one day, but thats where i know im going to disappoint them. because theyre not going to get to see their grandchildren.. because.. there wont be any. i REALLY dont want to disappoint them, but i know i will once they find out that the family line ends with me (since i dont have brothers or sisters). so i dont know what to do, i dont want to force myself to be straight, but i dont want to let them down also. i really dont know what to do, ive cried over this situation so much because i can picture their disappointment once they find out. (link)
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I don't think you should tell them yet. I know the subject keeps coming up about children and grandchildren, and they are probably picturing you happily married, but I would not confront them yet.
You don't say how old you are. I think as time goes by things will happen that will give them a little more preparation for this converstion. For example, you may develope a close relationship with another woman, and move out of your parents home, and in with her. I think if you give it time it will be easier for both you and your parents.
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i tried to make hot cocoa on the stove and welded some kind of not-so-much chocolate substance to the bottom of a pan... my question is, how do i get this stuff off? then... is it still good to eat? it looks chocolate colored. (link)
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I don't think it is any good to eat if it doesn't come off the pan easily.
Soak the pan in warm soapy water for an hour or so. Dump the water out and rinse it, then use Brillo or SOS pads to scrub the rest off. If it is a teflon coated non-stick pan don't use Brillo or SOS, but a non-metal, green scratch pad instead.
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Hey umm... I asked a question before if I should tell a guy i liked him.... well I did and he thinks im a total freak well im ok but the problem is i think i still like him and am afraid to say i do. i have pain and want to forget him but i think i was REALLY in love with him. how do i forget him?
confused. (link)
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You say he thinks you are a total freak? How does he treat you? If he isn't treating you very well, why do you still like him?
I would try to find someone else to like, hopefully someone who feels the same towards you, and treats you better.
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i like this boy in my class and thar is this outhe girl that likes hem to but i like hem more he sead that he did not like her but she still wont leave hem a lone he sead he wood reather go out with me then her but not this year what dew i dew when i now he likes me but he wont tack to me i haft to tack to hem and we have a lot in komen but he still wont lisean even thoe he likes me what do i do.
Sinded love is heard (link)
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First, you really are having a problem with spelling or typing. It is almost impossible to figure out what you are saying. Here is some help -
"I like this boy in my class and there is this other girl that likes him, too." The capital letter and period help to show where a sentence ends and begins, and really helps when you are reading. Hint- periods and commas usually go where you would stop and take a breath when you are talking.
"But I like him more. He said that he did not like her, but she won't leave him alone." It is helpful to to the reader when you break up your sentences into shorter sentences instead of one long one. The meaning is easier to follow.
"He said he would rather go out with me than her, but not this year. What do I do?" Correct spelling and questions marks really help, too.
"I know he likes me but he won't talk to me." I took out the "when" so your sentence wasn't so long. Spelling "talk" correctly is very important here, and also in the next sentence.
"I have to talk to him and we have a lot in common. But he won't listen even though he likes me. Signed, love is hard." The point is that you are not going to get many responses if no one can even read your question. I am sure you can do better than this. Next time proof read your question and correct all the mistakes you can find. You may want to have a friend look it over before you send it.
About the boy, he sounds like he is not ready to go out with anyone. You said in another question that you were 12. You are young. I think he wants to be friends and wait. I think you would be better off just being patient and waiting, too.
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